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as sunlight streams through the room, you open your eyes and slowly sit up in your bed. “wow, what a refreshing night's sleep!” you think, loudly. you stretch your arms, crack your knuckles, and let out a big yawn; it's time to start the day! as you get dressed, you catch a glimpse of your alarm clock. 9:15 AM. somewhere in the back of your head, you can't help but feel that you had something planned for the day. “i should check the calander, just to make sure,” you think as you buckle your belt. after a few deep huffs of aerosol at the bathroom sink, you head to the kitchen to take a look. as you approach the calendar hanging on the fridge, you notice today's date vigorously circled in red marker. looking closer, you see a few angry-looking words, and as you wrap your head around them, your skin goes pale. FLIGHT 2 PARIS @11:45 DON'T FORGET!!! “shitshitshitshitshit,” you think without spaces. how could you let this slip your mind? you've got a very, very important meeting to get to in Paris. missing something like that could cost you your whole career! after inhaling another half can of aerosol to calm your nerves, you start putting together an action plan. “keys. i need my car keys,” you think, “i think i left them in the living room?” ---------- you are standing in the kitchen. to the WEST is the door to the living room. the hall is to the EAST. your garage is through a door to the NORTH. your bathroom is to the SOUTH. > |
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May 25, 2016 18:55
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| # ? May 17, 2024 14:50 |
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>south, use bathroom and clear head
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May 25, 2016 19:04
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your anxiety is causing you some significant urinary discomfort, so you decide to release some of the tension in the bathroom, and maybe down some nitrous oxide into your lungs to put you at ease. ---- it is now 9:25 AM. you're in the bathroom. the kitchen is to the NORTH. >
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May 25, 2016 19:10
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grow wings |
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May 25, 2016 19:12
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>gogogo, north, find the kitchen, grab food, any food, find garage and car and just go, no time for pantsalnilam posted:grow wings >this is better, grunt and moan and strain until wings grow
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May 25, 2016 19:14
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alnilam posted:grow wings you drink the spare red bull from your medicine cabinet. your nerves start to ignite again. ---- it is now 9:26 AM. you are still in the bathroom. the kitchen is to the NORTH. >
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May 25, 2016 19:16
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>NORTH, find coffee, test new wings
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May 25, 2016 19:16
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Luvcow posted:>NORTH, find coffee, test new wings you attempt to glide gracefully into the kitchen. your face hits the linoleum as you flop to the ground. you wince as you get up. you open the door to the pantry and pull out a container of folgers; you've never had great taste in coffee. [Folgers coffee] added to your inventory. ------ it is 9:28 AM. you are in the kitchen. to your WEST is the living room door. the hall is to your EAST. your bathroom is to the SOUTH. a door to the NORTH leads to the garage. you really need your car keys. >
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May 25, 2016 19:22
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Eat coffee!! 
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May 25, 2016 19:33
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alnilam posted:Eat coffee!!
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May 25, 2016 19:34
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alnilam posted:Eat coffee!! you down the entire container of coffee grinds. after a few minutes, your left arm begins convulsing, but nothing else seems to be wrong. you're right-handed, anyway. your inventory is now empty ---- it is 9:31 AM. you are standing in the kitchen. the living room is to the WEST. the hall is to the EAST. the bathroom is SOUTH of here. the garage is NORTH of here. you start to worry if you're ever going to get to the airport at this rate. >
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May 25, 2016 19:38
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>find cheese if there is any, then go north, find car
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May 25, 2016 20:11
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Luvcow posted:>find cheese if there is any, then go north, find car you open up the pantry again and find a container of cottage cheese on one of the shelves. you don't know when you'll ever have to use it, but it might come in handy later on. [cottage cheese] added to your inventory. you enter the garage. the smell of embalming fluid fills your nostrils, bringing back fond memories of your days as a freelance mortician. those days are far behind you, though, and now you're ------ it is now 9:38 AM. you are in the garage. the kitchen is to the SOUTH. you cannot continue NORTH without your car. >
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May 25, 2016 20:24
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HighwireAct posted:you open up the pantry again and find a container of cottage cheese on one of the shelves. you don't know when you'll ever have to use it, but it might come in handy later on. >look garage https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 25, 2016 20:27
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Splatmaster posted:>look garage your look around. your prius is in the center of the garage, but you can't use it without your keys. to your left are a tool shelf and a mini fridge. to your right are your embalming supplies and a few plastic bins full of aerosol cans. the garage door is straight ahead. ----- you are in the garage. the kitchen is to the SOUTH. you cannot continue NORTH without your car. >
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May 25, 2016 20:42
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Get aerosol cans. Look for lighter |
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May 25, 2016 20:52
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alnilam posted:Get aerosol cans. Look for lighter you open one of the bins with your non-spasming hand and take out a few aerosol cans. you're tempted to huff another, but you manage to fight back the urge. [aerosol cans] added to your inventory. you look around for a lighter for about 5 minutes, but nothing turns up. you suddenly remember that you left it in a bowl in the living room, along with your car keys. -------- it is 9:45 AM. you are in the garage. the kitchen is to the SOUTH. you cannot continue NORTH without your car.
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May 25, 2016 21:23
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>check you still have the cottage cheese
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May 25, 2016 21:26
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Just use UBER and go to the airport like a sane person who doesn't want to park his car at long term parking for an international flight... |
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May 25, 2016 21:30
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>call in a bomb threat to the airport try to sound arabic
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May 25, 2016 21:33
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Nation posted:>check you still have the cottage cheese you still have the cottage cheese. joke_explainer posted:Just use UBER and go to the airport like a sane person who doesn't want to park his car at long term parking for an international flight... in a sudden moment of lucidity, you realize that the past 30 minutes have been totally worthless; you could've hailed an Uber this whole time! you open the app and order a car. kelly (4.5 stars) will be picking you up in 10 minutes in a green prius. you take a celebratory huff of aerosol as you pat yourself on the back for your ingenuity. ----- it is 9:50 AM. you are in the garage. the kitchen is to the SOUTH. you cannot continue NORTH without your car. your Uber will arrive in 10 minutes, so you should probably get your luggage from your room before then.
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May 25, 2016 22:02
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Go to the place with the lighter and grab the lighter |
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May 25, 2016 22:07
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HighwireAct posted:you still have the cottage cheese. OOC: Thank you, joke_explainer! You're awesome at explaining huff-filled Uber adventures, as well as jokes! >SOUTH to kitchen heading to room for luggage >get luggage >goto FRONT DOOR >wait for UBER DRIVER KELLY ~ impulse 9 god givehealth give aerosol_cans 255 sv_gravity #0 alnilam posted:Go to the place with the lighter and grab the lighter >let it burn! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 25, 2016 22:11
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alnilam posted:Go to the place with the lighter and grab the lighter you enter the living room. in the center of the room is a couch and a glass coffee table. a widescreen TV is mounted on the wall in front of the couch. there are a few cheap IKEA paintings hanging on the wall; luckily, your friends are artistically illiterate, so they can't even tell. there's a bowl sitting on a small table to the right of the door, and a coat hanger to the left. you grab your lighter from the bowl. [lighter] added to your inventory. ------------------ it is 9:52 AM. your Uber will arrive in 8 minutes. you are standing in the living room. the kitchen is to your EAST. you cannot exit through the front door to the NORTH without your luggage. >
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May 25, 2016 22:15
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Splatmaster posted:
you grab your luggage from your room and return to the living room. as you step through the front door, the blinding sunlight burns your eyes. you would scream, but with the amount of nitrous oxide you have in your system, the sensation of pain just confuses you. you wait for kelly (4.5 stars) to pick you up, and inexplicably feel invincible, well-armed, floaty, and healthy at the same time. the bag you were holding your aerosol cans in bursts open as 255 of them pour out over your driveway. number of [aerosol cans] in your inventory increased to 255. you dropped 255 [aerosol cans] from your inventory. ----- it is 9:55. your Uber will be here in 5 minutes. > HighwireAct fucked around with this message at 22:28 on May 25, 2016
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May 25, 2016 22:25
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>huff 55 aerosol cans, store the other 200 in your bag. Problem solved
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May 25, 2016 22:31
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Luvcow posted:>huff 55 aerosol cans, store the other 200 in your bag. you start to breathe in 55 aerosol cans in rapid succession. that much aerosol would kill a lesser man, but they didn't call you "Taylor the Inhaler" in high school for nothing. your current pace is 1 aerosol can every 3 seconds, so you'll be finished with the whole lot in 2 minutes and 45 seconds. you left arm has stopped convulsing, and is now hanging numbly. you cannot move your left arm anymore. ------- it is now 9:57 AM. your Uber will be here in 3 minutes.
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May 25, 2016 22:37
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gyrate hips so limp hand swings round like a propeller, providing a cool breeze to the face and neck |
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May 25, 2016 22:39
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Don't forget to put pants on! But not one leg at a time like all those other chumps. |
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May 25, 2016 22:42
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shinmai posted:gyrate hips so limp hand swings round like a propeller, providing a cool breeze to the face and neck your left arm turns into a speeding blur as you feverishly sway your hips. it certainly helps with the sweat you're working up huffing all of that aerosol. as you finish the last can, you bring your gyrating slowly to a halt. in one mighty swoop, you scoop up the rest of the cans and pack them into the other massive bag you brought to tote them with. 200 [aerosol cans] added to your inventory. just as you stuff the last can in there, kelly (4.5 stars) pulls up to your driveway and rolls down her window. "taylor?" she asks. you nod. "here, let me help you with your stuff." she gets out and pops her trunk. with her help, you pack your luggage into it. as she picks up the bag of aerosol cans, you begin to feel sweat running down your face. "jesus," she says, "what's in here? you donating to one of those canned food drives or something?" not wanting to reveal your addiction, you tell her that yes, that's exactly what they are. "those are some funny-feeling food cans," she says suspiciously. "if i didn't know better, i'd think you were one of those shady huffers." you begin to feel sweat running down your sweat. you hastily assure her that no, you're absolutely not. she lets out a deep laugh. "hey, don't worry, man, i was just kidding with you." you let out a sigh of relief as she shuts the trunk. "airport's about half an hour away. what time's your flight?" you tell her. "wow, you're really pressed for time, huh? i'll tell you what: i know a route that can get us there in 15." you perk up; any minute saved is a good thing at this point. "thing is, it's not strictly-speaking 'legal,' so if you're not into that, we can just take the regular route. so, what sounds good to you?" --------------------- it is 10:00 AM. your flight departs in 1 hours and 45 minutes. how do you respond? > HighwireAct fucked around with this message at 23:16 on May 25, 2016
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May 25, 2016 23:01
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> <say>Legal **wheeze** Smeagol **wheeze**
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May 25, 2016 23:04
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Splatmaster posted:> <say>Legal **wheeze** Smeagol **wheeze** as you gasp these words, kelly (4.5 stars) dons a big grin. "route #2 it is, then." she floors the car almost immediately after starting it, and the two of you rev on out of the burbs at incredibly illegal speeds. ----- with the amount of aerosol you've put into your body in the last 45 minutes, your sense of time is pretty much shot, but the car clock reads 10:01 AM, and that sounds about right to you. your flight departs in 1 hour and 44 minutes. next stop: the airport. ----- end of part 1 i'll probably continue this tomorrow or in the next couple days, but i had no idea what the story beats were gonna be going into this so i'm gonna spend some time outlining that to make things a little more streamlined HighwireAct fucked around with this message at 23:18 on May 25, 2016
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May 25, 2016 23:12
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