2016 NCAA Coaching Carousel: UnBEARable Disgrace

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2016 NCAA Coaching Carousel: UnBEARable Disgrace

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Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

How long do LSU, aTm, and Auburn decide to wait before they put the full court press on Briles?

I figure it will start with a paid consultancy, then a coordinator position.

# ¿ May 26, 2016 17:34

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:15

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Can USC afford to fire the coach they just hired?

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 06:27

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

SourKraut posted:

Saban probably has at least 10 years left in him I bet, the guy can't retire because he'd get bored, and as long as he continues his current success, he can ride his recent national championship wins for top recruiting classes for at least another 5 years regardless of if he wins a NC or not in that time.

So sure, Herman could go to LSU, but he'd be in Saban's shadow that whole time, and without a NC win I doubt LSU's fans or boosters let him go 5-10 years until Saban would retire.

Bama is not guaranteed to beat LSU if LSU hires a spread offensive guru coach, Bama can barely handle Ole Miss and LSU gets better players than Ole Miss does.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2016 23:22

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Ross Angeles posted:

USC should hire Les

A crazy man's David Shaw, if you will.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 01:27

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Pakled posted:

How likely is Bo Pelini to get hired by an FBS team this year

https://twitter.com/FauxPelini/status/780157173267623941

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 02:04

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Scionix posted:

so LSU fans; you fired the guy for recruiting incredible players and fielding a shiiiiiiiiiiitttttttt offense and being a general on-field buffoon, this I understand.

Is it so easy to recruit Louisiana you are sure the next guy is just going to keep cleaning up? I'm not trying to be a dick and hell you might be better with top 20 classes and a functioning offense vs top 5 classes with just a defense, but I wonder

Louisiana is about #6 as a state in producing recruits, and highest in NFL players produced per capita. Their in-state recruits are more loyal than the recruits in places like Georgia, Virginia, and North Carolina, so the fact that LSU has no Power 5 competition in state is very relevant, and LSU's Houston presence is probably relevant as well.

That may the easiest place to recruit in the country along with USC and Ohio State.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 08:32

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Henchman of Santa posted:

South Carolina has 4.8 million and two P5 teams in different conferences. That's a bit bigger than those states but not totally incomparable.

Proximity to Georgia is relevant there.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 20:11

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

I think Brohm is good and should wait for a better job than Purdue.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 22:13

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Korranus posted:

And the other big piece of social media going around at UH -

Herman just needs to tell everyone he's leaving and get it over with before this gets any more desperate.

At what point did you become convinced he was leaving, after the Big 12 expansion non-expansion decision?

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 22:46

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

https://twitter.com/ClayTravis/status/792738444137078784

If Petrino is moving he should go to the richer UT with weaker rivals on schedule.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2016 20:02

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

C. Everett Koop posted:

I'd agree. It's hard to fire a coach who goes 9-3, even if the expectation was 11-12 wins. It'll be a 9-3 with a number of people thrown under the bus, mind you.

Now with how weak the remaining schedule is, any other L's might be enough for Tennessee to dump him and make a run at P.J. Fleck/Jeff Brohm. I don't think they'd be in the Tom Herman lottery since that seems to be Texas' to lose, but I think Tennessee might be able to outbid LSU and push that they only, well "only", play Bama from the West instead of all of them.

If Tennessee opens up it's the second best job on the market after Texas, imo.

Tough call, LSU is a significantly better recruiting location but expectations might be too high there and the schedule is tougher like you say.

Tennessee might be better if the East remains bad for the next 5 years. I think they would need a Petrino though, P.J. Fleck isn't going to walk in there and start going undefeated in the East every year.

Spacebump posted:

Louisville is ranked 5, 0 top 30 recruiting classes. You just can't compete without top 10 classes every year.

They have the best offensive coach in college football and a cheat code QB.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2016 02:31

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

kayakyakr posted:

I mean, the only coaches in the nation who are pretty much guaranteed to get you titles would be Saban and Meyer.

They wouldn't be getting #1 recruiting classes in Oregon unless that $10 million was for bag men.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2016 04:06

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Scarf posted:

Jimbo to LSU, Herman to FSU. Callin it.

Texas better not let this happen.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2016 23:53

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

MourningView posted:

already mad about kiffin getting hired by like kentucky or some poo poo and kliff taking the Bama oc job

No that pansy Air Raid stuff is not good enough for Bama, Kliff is a better fit at a finesse program like UF IMO.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2016 01:31

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

https://twitter.com/CaseyKeirnan/status/800137100343595008?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

:sadwave:

# ¿ Nov 20, 2016 02:41

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

General Dog posted:

Charlie Strong and Art Briles took radically different paths and arrived at the same destination (fired). Makes u think.

The moral of the story is gently caress booster wives, get buyout money.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2016 03:53

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

I request that Scionix be banned before the first of the annual Saban Bama v Herman Texas National Championship games.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2016 04:07

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Craig K posted:

How many more years of 7-5 overall (2-5 in conference) is bielema going to get before he's shitcanned

He is doing ok, has a few wins over LSU even. Alabama, Auburn, Texas A&M etc. are in completely different recruiting tiers than Arkansas, :razorback:

aren't going to do much better unless they get Petrino back or hire Briles or something like that.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2016 01:49

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Kim Jong Il posted:

Strong turned a bunch of nobodies at Louisville into NFL players. Clearly though the Big XII is stylistically very different than other conferences on offense.

Venables was smart to leave that conference and go to Clemson.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2016 19:57

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

General Dog posted:

Yes. I still think we've got to wait for a step back from where we are now before we let him go.

They are in a weird spot, theoretically the program ceiling is high and you can't fault them for striving to compete just like LSU, Auburn, Texas etc. , but since there is no winning tradition it is going to look bad when they fire Sumlin for going 8-4 in a tough division and being ~top 3 in school winning percentage since WW2.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2016 23:33

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Just heard about Strong's firing and the Tom Herman hire from a friend. I'm happy about it, but I hope Daric's comments about Herman being a little slimy aren't true. Texas loves character guys, and if Herman's personality doesn't jive with that then his time at Texas is gonna be... interesting.

Known slimy assholes:

Saban
Meyer
Petrino

# ¿ Nov 26, 2016 22:49

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Ghost of Reagan Past posted:

It's readily apparent that Helfrich just rode Mariota and Chip's coattails to the title game.

Chip's coaching and recruiting was good enough that Helfrich could keep the illusion up for a little while, but that fell apart extremely fast. If Oregon isn't down in Santa Clara begging for Chip to come back they're incredibly dumb and deserve to fall off a cliff.

Oregon's recruiting base isn't very good so they need a stellar recruiter. Their brand is fast offense so they need a guy who gets that. So, realistically, if they can't bring Chippy back, they should probably go all in on PJ Fleck, which is probably a good fit for both parties. Fleck isn't a slam dunk hire, but even if he doesn't work out he'll leave behind some good players for the next dude.

I don't think that Oregon job is a good job, it is the new Nebraska. USCw level expectations with USCe level recruiting.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2016 18:18

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Relentlessboredomm posted:

According to my dad all the local Tampa papers are saying he's actively looking for a bigger job.

He was on the hot seat there not too long ago, needs to capitalize on this good season.

# ¿ Nov 28, 2016 20:40

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

I'm convinced the McElwain to Oregon rumor is something McElwain started to get a raise

On the other hand he likes that part of the country and things are about to get really ugly at UF based on how he has recruited and who he is losing to graduation. Might be time to sell high on "back to back SEC East titles" and move to a colder seat.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2016 18:28

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

I am guessing someone at Oregon mentioned Scott Frost and then they looked down the road at the guy that has a better resume to date than Frost, is at a similar job, and similarly runs a high -scoring offense.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 03:34

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Regnevelc posted:

Wasn't it just last year people said Coach Mac was a better hire than Harbaugh?

How has he fallen off so much?

I guaranteed greatness as soon as Harbaugh was hired.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2016 21:53

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

LeeMajors posted:

I'd take Taggart. I don't like Mullen much though. I'd take Holgo w/ Strong as DC.

Is the shine off Hudspeth these days?

I feel like almost any decent Big 12 offense guy could manage 8-4 at UF given the current state of the East.

I think Mullen would also do fine but I prefer pass first to run first.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 23:05

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

If Rhule can maintain mediocrity for a couple years and whether the bad press, he should come out alright and win a lot of games in a few years

Worked for PSU

Texas recruiting is a tough scene right now, Baylor might not be back for a very long time.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 22:16

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Would Bama hire Kevin Wilson as OC?

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 19:29

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

LeeMajors posted:

Something like that. UF may end up with better classes overall due to facilities and 'SEC,' but Strong/Butch are objectively better recruiters than Mac.

One guy isn't a problem but if 3-4 lower tier school coaches are good recruiters that can steal 1 guy per cycle, and then Bama and whoever else are taking the elite guys in the top 10, it starts to become messy like the situation in Texas.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 22:28

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Real Name Grover posted:

https://twitter.com/ESPNRittenberg/status/808338743966961665

Honestly didn't see this one happening. From Carl Pelini to Lane Kiffin in two moves!

This is interesting because "Go to lower tier Florida job and build it up" is a lot harder if 3 other lower tier Florida jobs also have P5 tier guys trying to get back in the game.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 17:06

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Thermos H Christ posted:

Then I'm not sure what you're saying. Florida has to recruit against USF but Miami doesn't?

The joke is that McElwain sucks at recruiting and signs too many 3 stars, so he will be recruiting in the bargain bin against those lower tier schools.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 18:40

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

whiteyfats posted:

If he wants a top tier head coaching job again, this is what he has to do, though. ADs aren't gonna trust him unless he behaves himself for a while.

He should have taken the Houston job and agreed to the 5 year lockdown.

Maybe the big buyout penalty extended even longer than the reported 5 years.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 22:20

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Raku posted:

A 5 star recruit is attending his grandma's 85th birthday somewhere in Florida and the coaches start to show up for recruitin':

1) Charlie Strong--woke the kid up bright and early and started trying to teach him lessons about life
2) Mark Richt--drives them all to church beforehand
3) Jimbo Fisher--left an envelope full of money in the mailbox cuz he had to speak to his attorney today
4) Jim McElwain--was on the side of the road next a car with a smoking hood, wearing flipflops and laughing for some reason, holding a drink
5) Butch Davis--showed up to the birthday party early and has been aggressively recruiting since it started
6) Lane Kiffin--emerges from the shadows smelling of cigarettes after the old people have gone home. There is lipstick on his unbuttoned collar. Clearly drunk, he pats the kid on the shoulder and says he'll see him on the beach... and the girls are going to be waiting. He laughs, and tells the recruit that if the cops ask who he was.... "Tell them it was Joey... Joey Saltwater."

The recruit commits to Alabama.

Where are the bag men

LeeMajors posted:

I could totally see this. Jesus. Drunk Clark Griswold.

"And yet, ain't this cool?" MacElwain mused, as he stood beside his broken car on the side of the road.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2016 04:36

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Ehud posted:

Now we can be bad on both sides of the ball.

I guess Don Brown , Arranda, Venables, etc. didn't want that Temple job?

Who else did they interview?

# ¿ Dec 13, 2016 18:36

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

R.D. Mangles posted:

crushed that someone beat me to the Enemies of Michigan Athletics joke in the other thread

https://twitter.com/DanMurphyESPN/status/808854997148569600?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Michigan declares war on Virginia Tech

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 04:20

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Korranus posted:

Todd Orlando isn't flying back to Houston with UH tonight, so expect his contract at Texas to be unveiled tonight or tomorrow.

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/810231375685001216

# ¿ Dec 17, 2016 22:17

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

pillsburysoldier posted:

Kendall Briles is a good hire

Especially with florida leftovers talent. That + california leftovers looks similar to what made Oregon not suck poo for those couple years

Schools like WVU and Louisville are gonna get wrecked by these developments at FAU and USF.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 19:50

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Thermos H Christ posted:

Well I gotta tell you I'm super pumped about all these rumors that our OC is gonna be Warriner or Beck. tOSU's o-line, QB, and offense in general looked stellar last night. I'm sure tOSU fans will be despondent if they hear one of their favorite coaches ever has been lured away.

I would assume Herman will be the brains behind the offense and it won't matter, but I thought the same thing about Mac and Nuss.

Lasagna Pilot fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Jan 1, 2017

# ¿ Jan 1, 2017 20:22

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 09:15

Lasagna Pilot: Feb 6, 2009; No, you're dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Dilber posted:

oh my god, houston hired Mark Dnofrio as Defensive coordinator.

I guess they can hope that defensive design in Miami was all on Al Golden.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 21:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2016 NCAA Coaching Carousel: UnBEARable Disgrace

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