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quote:For anyone who's never tried it, I can assure you that a significant percent of people who are reading this confession have used the services of a prostitute at least once. can i get your accurate poll numbers about the folks that just eh decided to tell some rando that they paid for sex?
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Aug 20, 2016 15:00
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this poo poo got dark pretty quick.
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Aug 21, 2016 14:57
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Squalitude posted:I don't know if you've ever noticed but the scrotum is actually quite close to the part of the body you usually sit on. i usually wear at the least panties when i sit on a moving conveyor belt
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Aug 21, 2016 17:53
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Stefan Prodan posted:I think what he's saying is that they have such a habit of just sitting on the conveyor when it starts up and being used to it being set to stop they are used to just ignoring the warnings that it's starting up which I mean frankly maybe you deserve to get chewed up by the belt in that case Ah yes i know when im around industrial grade finger chopping ball gouging machinery it is silent as a library and still like the ripple-less surface of a lake
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Aug 21, 2016 18:00
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y'all werent like in your teens in the 90s were you? 
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Aug 21, 2016 19:28
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 Sorry orlando pulse goon, hit me up in pm's if you need to vent or something.
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Aug 22, 2016 14:05
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KomodoWagon posted:"Something" in this particular case means "gently caress" Nah dongs are weird looking but thank you anyhow poophead.
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Aug 22, 2016 14:19
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Red Suit posted:Fat chicks give good head in my experience quote:I have a couple of rules, like no fats, crackheads or women with obvious body odour they are ineligible for prescription penis St Dick has a no fatties sticker on his subaru WRX
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Aug 23, 2016 12:47
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KomodoWagon posted:Sex and intimacy are the exact same thing thanks for this illuminating truth, poo poo might need to buy yourself some mountaintop land so you can sit there like the wise old person on top of a loving hill, waiting for someone to come and ask you about relationships.
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Aug 25, 2016 14:33
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KomodoWagon posted:I am already doing this but I should probably inform you before you come seeking my guidance at standard rates that what you are quoting is in fact not what I have argued for. oh. well then i'll be the dumbass sage of mount dipshit then my apologies.
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Aug 25, 2016 14:45
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Solice Kirsk posted:There is one sure fire way for him to both have sex with the 20 year old and not cheat on his wife. Maybe he should consider a murder/kidnapping? Literally nothing could go wrong with that plan. grow a  mustache and goatee combo and insist you are the evil twin
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Aug 25, 2016 17:59
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gigawhite posted:I have some distressing news about what some girls are into. i heard it was  sex.
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Aug 25, 2016 21:28
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Mr. 47 posted:Probably the Pope. 
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Aug 25, 2016 22:48
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alimony is kinda a dead thing besides if fucker has a traveling job its pretty hard to tell unless he is an idiot. on the other hand cheat-goon you really dont seem to have much actual remorse at all. didnt learn or anything or it just get you all revved up to do it again? you know, the more you get away with it the less cautious you'll be. hell i was a piece of poo poo when i did that crap in retaliation when you finally atom bomb your family and your blissfully unawares wife, you might have a decent idea of what "collateral damage" means for a civilian.
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Aug 26, 2016 22:42
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Are you guys recommending drugs to the mentally unstable confessor because flat out telling them to kill themselves would get you probated? http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3758527&pagenumber=176&perpage=40#post457072446 
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Aug 27, 2016 14:07
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loquacius posted:ftfy 
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Aug 29, 2016 17:52
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cultgoon you should totally mastermind some young charismatic person into some cult involving aliens and jesus in no way could that ever go wrong. 
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Aug 29, 2016 20:41
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how me a frog posted:As a first timer to this kind of thread, reading only the actual confessions, is there a logical reasons the OP includes poo poo that could not possibly be true, not now, not ever , not in a million years? I get the motivation in principle, what with not discounting something that seems unlikely but might be true, but there are some confessions that claim someone was a CIA space cadet in the intergalactic UFO sex wars and including that kind of crap does somewhat suggest that in fact all if this is bullshit, perhaps a "creative" writing exercise. I want to agree with a frogfellow but no.. I cant.   
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Aug 31, 2016 21:00
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how me a frog posted:You were such a good frogfellow in the niceguy thread which has also gone to the dogs. Ah well. wait did you just call me a nice guy?
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Aug 31, 2016 22:02
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pissbitch.. What the gently caress. You I suppose could have handled that worse, like maybe lighting his most prized possessions on fire or insulting the size of his dick. But nope, during a rut you find yourself telling him you are attracted to another woman. How exactly did you expect him to take that?
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Sep 1, 2016 15:01
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Cthulu Carl posted:I wanna kill my dog all the time, but almost always when he keeps up at night because it's raining. Then I wake up feeling like poo poo and he's sitting there looking like poo poo and the floor is wet where he was pacing because he was panting and drooling and just looks loving pathetic and I give him a great big hug and tell him I'm sorry I tried to kill him with mind bullets and give him a few extra treats and tell him he's a good boy every chance I get that day. get your dummy dog a thundershirt or just tie up a tshirt all nice and snug on em you weirdo.
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Sep 1, 2016 16:45
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Cthulu Carl posted:He has a thundershirt. fair enough, my big dumb hippodog is the same way, usually its the whining that gets to me, i can zone out the rest of it usually.
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Sep 1, 2016 16:56
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loquacius posted:GBS goons are the only group of people on Earth willing to come out as anti-dog but.. I post in gbs
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Sep 1, 2016 17:38
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loquacius posted:My sister and my cousin both have chihuahuas for some reason. My cousin's chihuahua is kind of mean and ornery and barks a lot and generally has the doggy Napoleon complex that a lot of tiny dogs have, but my sister's chihuahua is basically a little old lady in dog form and is super chill and rules. the little one at the house is a shiba/taco dog mix.. she is about the most spoiled little thing at the house. cant just lay on the ground, has to be on a pillow or elevated in some way above the lesser dogs
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Sep 1, 2016 18:07
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Holyshoot posted:If a specific dog breed is supposed to be "smart" how does an owner go and gently caress that up? I have been told shiba inus are supposed to be "smart" dogs. But my roommates shiba lays in front of my bathroom door every night and in the morning I have to nudge her out of the way and she plops down somewhere else to sleep. If she was a "smart" dog wouldn't she realize that sleeping in front of that door just means she has to get up and move at the same time every day? tell that to my dumb hound dog who continues to sleep right behind the front door and get smacked with it when I come inside almost every time.. allegedy this one is supposed to be smart, and yes he is good at finding new innovative ways to open trash cans when he isnt getting concussed by the front door.
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Sep 1, 2016 18:14
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loquacius posted:Even if she doesn't, the dog at this point will be an ideal roommate weed costs money, that dog needs a job too
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Sep 1, 2016 18:16
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Holyshoot posted:What's even funnier is his pitbull/boxer mix appears way smarter. She has learned that any time she is asked to go in the kitchen when it's not feeding time means her ears are going to be cleaned which she does not like. This results in her hiding under my desk making it very hard to get her out. The shiba would probably happily walk in none the wiser. for a second I was like "wow goon stop stalkering my webcam" but the pibbul mix here is a bulldog
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Sep 1, 2016 18:22
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Get help for your no doubt crippling affluenza kiddo  or better yet try that stunt again and dont call your parents for help
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Sep 7, 2016 12:20
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way to go on the fraud dickhead. Maybe quit that poo poo before you gently caress everyone you know over
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Sep 8, 2016 20:44
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Captain Yossarian posted:For real though I'd hang out with any goon, I don't care how weird or lame they are. Even Moridin. I'm a cool guy But mainly because there are a lot of CFL goons that I have met, or just the randoms that go vacation at disney or universal, Always fun to see goons either be way worse than they are on the forums or suspiciously normal people .
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Sep 12, 2016 17:15
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predator goon did you take a seat right over there?
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Sep 13, 2016 17:19
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i thought the hosed up confessions were supposed to be anonymous
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Sep 15, 2016 01:41
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8-Bit Scholar posted:I advise both confessors to use a dental dam, he's loving a crackhead.
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Sep 16, 2016 16:17
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loquacius posted:Oddly enough what rang the most false to me about the Shkreli one was the "would gently caress again" rating at the end maybe if he busted out that wu-tang album. 
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Sep 20, 2016 17:35
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Nemesis Of Moles posted:who would recognize martin Shkreli in the streets and ask for an autograph anyway he has somewhat of a fan following among wannabe hedge fund sociopath types.
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Sep 20, 2016 18:23
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loquacius posted:Try being rich f:b drat you sad boy.
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Sep 20, 2016 19:00
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