one sentence horror stories

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

"I thought this was the chill Forum," cried Julius Caesar.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 02:49

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# ? May 9, 2024 17:54

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

What's wrong with being a social justice warrior?

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:14

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

"What do you know about the tumbler community?" She says as you hear the door lock.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:16

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

George Lucas is remaking more of his movies.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:17

social vegan

and the baha men never found out who, who who

# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:31

social vegan

I didn't die, but now i can understand all of the words sean paul says in his songs

# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:32

bare bottom pancakes: Production: Complete

we would like to introduce the latest game by video game sensation Digital Homicide

# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:33

precision: by VideoGames

It moved.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:40

bean mom

It didn't move.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 03:45

Robot Made of Meat

HighwireAct posted:

we're out of weed

I have a friend whose grandfather's last words were, "we're out of gin."

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 04:14

precision: by VideoGames

It's moving.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 04:17

precision: by VideoGames

Robot Made of Meat posted:

I have a friend whose grandfather's last words were, "we're out of gin."

tim leary's last words were "why not"

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 04:18

Robot Made of Meat

Let me tell you about Quixtar . . . I know it's the same people who run Amway and it's the same products, but they have a different business model!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 04:18

MrWillsauce

Some scary poo poo happens.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 05:41

Macnult

I know you think your whole life has passed by, and I know how difficult it must be for you to accept it, but we've been in traffic this whole time while you were asleep.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 06:42

shinmai: CHK Instruction

the last human on earth sat alone in a room, when there was a knock on the door

# ? Jun 6, 2016 08:05

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

my grandfather's last words were a mixture of unintelligible screaming and gurgling sounds

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 6, 2016 11:01

December Octopodes: Christmas is coming
the squid is getting fat!

Let's be alone with our thoughts, all alone.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 11:27

bean mom

It was tuesday, forever.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 11:45

shinmai: CHK Instruction

Zyla posted:

It was tuesday, forever.

Okay folks, let's not take things too far here

# ? Jun 6, 2016 12:13

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

The light at the end of the tunnel was just another birth canal.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 12:56

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

but on every tv screen i could see, the same message appeared - ronald reagan has won the election

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 6, 2016 14:14

Robot Made of Meat

Nosfereefer posted:

but on every tv screen i could see, the same message appeared - ronald reagan has won the election

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhh!!!

Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 16:36

Android Blues

HighwireAct posted:

the sale ended yesterday

have to take these baby shoes back to the store

# ? Jun 6, 2016 17:48

Android Blues

baby shoes: hosed up, can't put these on my baby

# ? Jun 6, 2016 17:49

Android Blues

baby shoes: i bought these because i was trying to show off to my girlfriend how small my feet are and ive been consumed in my world-invalidating obsession to cram my feet into these tiny loving baby shoes

# ? Jun 6, 2016 17:50

Android Blues

baby shoes: there was a misunderstanding these are actually adult shoes and my baby wore them and he started tromping around and frying eggs on the stove and going to work

# ? Jun 6, 2016 17:51

Android Blues

Ernest Hemingway's hosed Up Baby Shoe Emporium

# ? Jun 6, 2016 17:51

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

When the coroner found her body, it was determined that she was kicked to death by her baby shoe earrings.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:00

BoldFrankensteinMir

Android Blues posted:

Ernest Hemingway's hosed Up Baby Shoe Emporium

For sale: hunting shotgun, barely used.

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:14

December Octopodes: Christmas is coming
the squid is getting fat!

Baby shoes: why are my shoes crying, I can't seem to get them to calm down or anything!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:15

eonwe

the twins were born with a fatal birth defect, no shoelaces

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:20

Android Blues

a new shop moves into town that sells only baby shoes that curse the people who buy them in concisely ironic ways, and is staffed by the devil (secretly Ernest Hemingway)

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:27

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

The old man threw a movable feast into the sea and said a farewell to fifty grand as the bell tolls over the green hills of Africa, "to have, and have not!" he said as the bull gored him to death, with baby shoes adorning each horn.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:54

HighwireAct: Pozzo's Hat

Android Blues posted:

Ernest Hemingway's hosed Up Baby Shoe Emporium

lmao

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:24

super mario batali: Dice-a the Mushroom

"I think ill go post in hellthread (~h e l l t h r e a d~)"

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:55

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

"instead of a bun, it's two chicken patties"

# ? Jun 6, 2016 20:53

shinmai: CHK Instruction

Admiral_eX_laX posted:

"instead of a bun, it's two chicken patties"

# ? Jun 6, 2016 21:01

precision: by VideoGames

For sale: internet forum.

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# ? Jun 6, 2016 21:28

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# ? May 9, 2024 17:54

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

After swallowing that first bite of his sandwich he looked and saw a half-eaten foot sticking out of his 12 inch sub among the lettuce; he hadn't ordered lettuce.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jun 6, 2016 22:13

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > one sentence horror stories

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