Iridium posted:

bump because it's happening again.

edit- it's a sprint review meeting one of our vendors is hosting. apparently my boss, a former PM, told them to use that old PM trick of "add everyone to the email thread until someone solves your problem out of frustration."

as a result, one of the "stakeholders" that got included has 1) never heard of agile development and didn't know what a sprint is, 2) hadn't heard we were redoing this website at all and has never seen any of this before, 3) wants to review each bit of the section for which she is nominally stakeholding, and now 4) is questioning the whole approach of this multi-year rebuild of our employee intranet portal

this is without getting into the tech issues they've introduced here.

... boss is now having to explain the concept of SSO to her, which we've done with this application for a decade now.

maniacdevnull posted:

click here to join the meeting

unless you dont work here

then just click here to go gently caress yourself

Agile Vector posted:

mumble for devs would also be apropos

duTrieux. posted:

kickstarter idea: a training program to get people up to speed on listening past accents because it's seriously not that difficult guys, c'mon

online friend posted:

this would be phenomenal

Agile Vector posted:

multi dialin multi telepresence

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

i had a classic one last week, it had:

* 5 minutes of people being unable to be on the call and the webex at the same time and just dialling off one then onto the other

* "hello? jo? hello? are you on mute? hello? i can see you on the webex? hello?"

* indian guy talking at 5000 words per minute so nobody new what the gently caress

* this was the best, somehow in an attempt to conference someone in the host dialled into someones voicemail so then they recorded the entire meeting and then got a "warning, this message is too long, please hang up, please hang up..." on repeat blasted out at everyone and probably hosed that persons voicemail up completely (good because voicemail is worthless)

FrozenVent posted:

new procedure for teleconferences with our overseas office:

they all crowd in a boardroom and call the boardroom we're using

Thanks Ants posted:

all companies that would list telecoms as their primary focus are unbelievably awful

Roosevelt posted:

yesterday i had my first conference call with a significant number of people involved, and the first 10 minutes was exactly like that conference call simulator website, with the confusion, muffled audio, and mute button requests. someone was playing pokemon or something and you could hear all the beeps and boops. after a while someone who was apparently on their phone in the car rolled the window down, so whooshing noise drowned out the presenter for a couple minutes.

the meeting ran over an hour, was about our terrible insurance plan, and centered around a powerpoint. the presenter couldn't figure out how to screen share, so instead we watched a black screen while they described what the slides looked like.

double ohm seven posted:

many moons ago I used to do remote training for our really lovely, really expensive image analysis tool.

my standard procedure was to use the example pictures in Windows xp because they're always there and they're always the same.

since the client was hosting the demo on their end I always asked before I went in there because I had to go through the My Pictures route. well, one call went like this.

"I need some images to analyze, do you min of I use the sample pictures in My Pictures?"

"yeah sure, go ahead... NBNNNLOOOoo"

*content of my pictures flash on the screen, revealing 2000 really misogynic porn*

his invite to the follow up lesson bounced, "no such address" lol

hobbesmaster posted:

the problem is you're not saying it in a language he understands

tell him to do breadth first instead of depth first

maniacdevnull posted:

who's got two thumbs and a 5 hour call scheduled to end at 6pm tomorrow

Cat Face Joe posted:

decline all meetings

buttcrackmenace posted:

someone has stolen all our Chromecasts

Iridium posted:

we need some kind of general corporation fuckery thread cuz i just learned about a massive clusterfuck a-brewing that's unfortunately not online meeting related

sure is resulting in a bunch of them tho.

Iridium posted:

that moment you realize you can recognize who called in to the bridge by what background noise they add without thinking to mute it

FrozenVent posted:

a customer calls at nine pm on the day before New Year's Eve

"hey can we use your phone bridge, we have an emergency and I can't find the pass code to ours."

Mad Wack posted:

Our 25 person conf call once got to listen to a VP order a shamrock shake from a mcdonalds drive thru, taste it, and send it back

thats a real power play

Arcsech posted:

i dunno,
works

mishaq posted:

my DECT headset at work has really nice range so sometimes i take shits while on calls and get paranoid about whether or not mute is actually on

Agile Vector posted:

ccs: dialed into a meeting I was walking to today and I:
lost connection
redialed
arrived
everyone else outside the office joined on the phone
we realized some should have a telepresence going
dropped ALL calls bc our system sucks
added the tp, then the calls
the tp failed to detect on the conf line, so we dialed the room tp
and dropped the calls
and dialed the calls again
the two guys adjusted an overly sensitive and jumpy camera for 5 minutes
and then were disrupted by someone bluffing their way into the conf room claiming a reservation
followed by the remaining 20 minutes of an hour meeting being meeting

flakeloaf posted:

mr. handsfree

graph posted:

i have just experienced my first 'holy poo poo mute your loving mic' moment

Bloody posted:

I am in a conference call it's exactly what you would expect

Iridium posted:

can you... hang on can you

no no wait i think we

you're breaking up a little can i

i think i heard someone saying something

no, go ahead

if i could just

who was that speaking just then?

did someone just join the call?

sorry i was on mute, what i meant to say was

carry on then posted:

im partial to jerry pissfuck myself

Iridium posted:

well here's a different kind of conference clusterfuck

when you're set as 'do not disturb' on skype it usually pops up a warning for the sender, and then if they send anywya it goes to email. but it's one email per message.

so today i'm set as do not distrub while i present on screen and one of my project managers decides to start bashing out a novel at me, ignoring the warnings. so i get email popups in rapid succession for each of the below until i close outlook.

"hi"
"hey <iridium>"
"whats up"
"dave told me to..."
"do you have time today to..."
"i have to go over the..."

gently caress.

edit- took a moment to bash out a "hey i'm DnD, plz just type this up as an email for me and i can answer it later". i guess this is too much to comprehend and she's gone radio silent.

carry on then posted:

*noise*

leader: "who's making that noise, could whoever is making that noise please go on mute"

*noise*

leader: "please go on mute"

*noise*

"hey [leader] can you mute yourself for a second"

*silence*

Shaggar posted:

10am real time.

A Pinball Wizard posted:

indigi posted:

any articles about bats this month?

duTrieux. posted:

companies really need to invest in proper training on how to use web conference systems because 99% of the problems are user error but they'll never train because that costs money and gains are difficult to quantify so training is always left as a second-thought "nice to have" that never reeives adequae resources and then when effectiveness drops resources are cut even further and then effectiveness drops and then

sorry, what?

Iridium posted:

"so do we have any update on this issue? i can't reproduce it myself"
"ok so the problem is that..."
"cuz didn't we go to a single node?"
"... yeah but that's not what we..."
"and i mean we need to get to the root of this one"
"right so what's happening is that..."
"i just dont want it to get lost"
"yeah and i'm tryin ta..."
"so if we can get an update that'd be good."

abraham linkedin posted:

one time at my last job i took a friday off for a wedding, with family i hadn't seen in two years

the night before we had a deployment of one of our apps, so i deployed, devs said everything was fine, and i went to bed

got up in the morning and started getting dressed when i get a call from a conference line at work saying that apache is down and won't start, and that we might need to redeploy???

i calmly explain "i sent you an email with the three other people who can deal with this, i took today off" but of course because i'm a bit of a pushover (and my boss would've yelled at me) i get roped in anyway

keep in mind i was planning to leave early, since it's an hour and a half drive to the wedding

i'm on the loving phone muted for three hours before someone goes "oh... OHHHH" and everyone on the conference call freaks out like "DID YOU FIGURE IT OUT"

turns out there was a duplicate line for something in the apache config, which didn't get noticed because the previous night's deployment didn't include a restart (???) and apparently nobody bothered to check that the app was on the new version before doing smoke testing so everything was a-ok until the nightly restart where poo poo hit the fan

i missed the reception because nobody thought to check the apache config

Wrath of the Bitch King posted:

when i was vacationing last year i setup everything in advance to be left alone during that time. backup, documentation, everything.

my boss' boss is notorious for calling me directly because I guess he's comfortable with me and/or i'm just a one-stop shop for everything to him. so I set up call forwarding so that if a call came in from any of his numbers it just forwarded back to his own line.

he was really confused and angry when I got back. he tried dialing me something like 27 times in the span of 2 weeks