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Let's talk about THE TEAM Goalkeepers 1 Berisha (Lazio) 12 Shehi 23 Hoxha Defenders 2 Lila 4 Hyman (Napoli) 5 Lorik Cana (Nantes) 6 Veseli 7 Agolli 15 Mavraj 17 Aliji 18 Ajeti Midfielders 3 Lenjani 8 Basha 9 Memushaj 13 Kukeli 14 Taulant Xhaka (Basel) 20 Kace 21 Roshi 22 Abrashi Forwards 10 Armando Sadiku (FC Vaduz) 11 Gashi (Colorado Rapids) 16 Cikalleshi 19 Balaj Albania will be without Man U ace Adnan Januzaj Wednesday striker Atdhe Nihiu And Stoke star Xherdan Shaqiri Not for nothing does the Albanian flag have a two-faced eagle on it. Like 15 million other exiles, these three Kosovar race traitors would rather live ANYWHERE but Albania, although I think we can all appreciate the humour in Our Adnan choosing Belgium which these days is pretty much the same if not worse. The team will also be travelling without Mother Teresa and John Belushi. Two othger ALbanians who could live there but dont are Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer Curry house heiress 'Tikka' Masiela Lusha THEIR CHANCES Encouragingly, Albania have been ranked alongside former cup (and shirt) lifters Denmark and Greece by the analysts at Goldman Sachs, giving them mathematically zero chance of winning the thing and only 10/3 odds to escape Group A. I think they can definitely snaffle 4 points threre against famed bottlers France, Romania and Swiss. I know it! THEIR PAST Albania was once Europe's poorest country, taking over from Portugal in 1992. But times change, and with Moldova's president under arrest for suddenly coming in to $1bn a couple of years ago, Albania is probably only third or fourth. Tirana even boasts a steep concrete slab you can climb. THEIR JOURNEY Albania had an eventful qualifying campaign. There were two highlights: beating Portugal 1-0 in their first game. And despite waging a war fairly recently, nobody spotted that Serbia and Albania had been put in the same group. The Balkans are an hospitable place and the Serbs welcomed their Albanian cousins to the Dobra Kobra stadium with a traditional stoning of the away team bus and then ceremonially burned a NATO flag in their honour during the warm-up. After kick off they threw flares and other explosives at the Albanian players when they were taking corners (when the players were taking corners I mean). Proud English ref Martin Atkinson saw there was a real chance of ethno-religious conflict and quickly suspended the game so it could take place without interruption. Then a drone appeared with a flag on it, there was a pitch invasion and someone hit Lorik Cana with a plastic chair before eating a whole plate of knuckle sandwiches https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC0gd4r6QQQ UEFA basically said ALbania were asking for it, serve them right for dressing that way and awarded Serbia a 3-0 win while deducting points for appearances' sake. This so reminds me an Albanian joke: A villager complained to his fellows that someone stole his cow last night, and they all start blaming him why he let that happen. The grieving villager listen to them and added: So, all the fault is mine, but the one who actually stole the cow is not to be blamed? As neither the Albanian nor the Serbian football associations were satisfied with the UEFA ruling, they both filed further appeals to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.[11] On 10 July 2015 the Court of Arbitration for Sport rejected the appeal filed by the Serbian FA, and upheld in part the appeal filed by the Albanian FA: the match was deemed to have been forfeited by Serbia with 0–3 and Serbia were, in addition, deducted three points. The victory and accompanying three points awarded by the CAS to Albania proved decisive – they qualified for the finals in second place with 14 points. The Serbs were fuming. When arent they though, and tbqh even if they been able to keep the victory, they would have still finished fourth with ten points and failed to qualify. In fact, Albania's qualification came at the expense of Denmark, who finished in third with 12 points and failed to qualify after losing a playoff to Sweden. So Albania don’t really have the right to be there but it’s quite nice that they are. Breath Ray fucked around with this message at 14:00 on Jun 7, 2016 |
# ? Jun 7, 2016 02:37 |
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# ? May 4, 2024 12:53 |
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One more reason to keep an eye on albania this month
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 02:43 |
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Breath Ray posted:Wednesday striker Atdhe Nihiu
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 02:45 |
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straight up brolic posted:i thought this was a joke about the streaming website, but apparently this is a real person Nice bloke but averaging a goal every six games won't get him into Austria's squad so now he is making eyes at newly formed Kosovo
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 02:53 |
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John Belushi was Albanian?
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 08:51 |
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Kurtofan posted:John Belushi was Albanian? That's right kurtofan. But tbf his family left when it was pretty bad there. Here are some snapshots of life as recently as 1992:
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 09:07 |
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hysaj had an excellent season for napoli op, should be bolded
vivisectvnv fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Jun 7, 2016 |
# ? Jun 7, 2016 13:46 |
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vivisectvnv posted:hysaj had an excellent season for napoli op shoulf be bolded Sure, will do. Can you tell us more? Is he fast slow a diver a fascist etc. I can then seamlessly weave it into the op
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 13:49 |
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it seems, in my humble opinion, that albania will never win again unless they resurrect Enver Hoxha to lead their football federation. imho
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 13:54 |
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They've got his grandson in the back four!
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 14:09 |
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I enjoyed the Albanian joke
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 16:26 |
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Which one? Its a squad of 23 remember haha
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 17:28 |
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I have been to Albania 1 (one) time, which is as many times as most of the players in the OP, so I'm sure it'll be great fun to cheer for them when England are knocked out and also before that the lady who showed us round spent a full hour explaining that Kosovo is Albania and then showed us the place where you can drown trying to swim five miles of open ocean to find a better life in Greece it was very culturally enriching
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 17:31 |
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The joke is accurate! So, everyone in here knows I toot the Albanian horn and poo poo thanks to my wife and my kids. I can tell you that first hand, seeing this country qualify for the first tournament, first REAL tournament, ever is a huge huge huge thing in Shqiptare. Albanians are patriotic as hell, more so than the plastic variety you get in the states. Not only do the flags fly everywhere, but Është Kosova, është Shqipëria is sang all over, and I know I hear it at least a few times a week from my wife. I also occasionally hear this song blaring through the house: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grm0tBnc5WY which is "a new take on an traditional song" as it was explained to me. The one you'll hear mostly though is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knik715yYB0 Xhamadani Vija Vija. It's essentially a song talking about how Kosova and Albania are essentially one. Xhamadani is a striped vest with colors that's traditional and super loving hot. The poo poo is like 100% cotton. I wore one when I got married in Albania as like gag for my wife's family. Also weddings in Albania are brutal. I've never experienced binge drinking to that extent before, and it lasts two days. Then again, I haven't been to an Irish wake, though I might end up at one when both national teams get booted from competition. This team, so patriotic of a country backing them, actually gave their coach Albanian citizenship after they qualified. The Albania-Serbia match also saw some crazy poo poo go down that had me laughing my rear end off while it was happening live. Albania was rightly outraged by originally being docked three points and forfeiting, and after a lot of finger pointing and blaming the Albanian Prime Minister's son (or something) as the pilot of the drone, the results were eventually reversed, and rightly so. Biased sure, but also realist. The fight might have happened because a Serbian player grabbed the Albanian flag, but the crowd grew far too unruly, rushing the field and attacking players. Regardless of who instigated it, the game was not able to continue. The Albanian National Team recently received the highest honors for a civilian of Albania, the Honor of National Order. Their accomplishment is massive, and has given them some much needed recognition in light of years of obscurity, not only with UEFA, but with NATO and the EU. The reason a lot of players hail from Kosovo or Albania but play for seemingly a lot of the Swiss National Team deals in large to the massive conflict and turmoil that wracked the region for years. Not only was there the Serbia/Kosovo conflict but also the Albanian Civil War. My wife would tell me stories about how she would see people dead in the streets, mugged and gun point, and how she was shot at as her family tried to flee to safety. The fact that her father was a Major during the communist regime didn't help a lot, but it did give them some options of protection as the country slowly shifted from that area to a new political foundation. As a bit of humor and regardless if you like the website or not, Cracked has a little ditty on King Zog I, who was absurdly hard to kill and fended off well into the double digits of assassination attempts (http://www.cracked.com/article_19726_5-people-from-history-who-were-absurdly-hard-to-kill_p2.html) Some of these players include Granit Xhaka, Astrit Ajdarevic, Valon Behrami, Adnan Januzaj, Xherdan Shaqiri, Shkodran Mustafi and more. Mustafi is the guy that played for Germany in the World Cup, didn't get any playing time, but walked away with a trophy.) Now, Albania is a great place to visit. They love Americans (Especially George Bush Jr, who was the first American President to visit Albania), and I think I only had an issue once with locals, but that was because they were gypsies and were trying to extort me for money or something. Thankfully my family came in and told them all to gently caress off. We were stopped a bit by police trying to extort bribes from us because their wages were so lovely, but we always went off free because my uncle-in-law was a former police chief and they wouldn't dare gently caress with us in his town. My father-in-law's town is the same way, they won't mess with him or the family because he gives the police much needed auto parts for discount or free because the station either doesn't have the funds or won't help fix the vehicle. But they are doing what they can to restructure their country by fixing beaches and cities and trying like to hell to get rid of corruption. The scars of a war fearing nation is torn into the landscape through hundreds of pillbox bunkers scattered throughout. These bunkers were tested in a sadistic way as the leader at the time forced the engineers who designed and built the damned things in them, and then tested the integrity by hitting them with bombs. There are also not very straight or well maintained roads at all, in fact they were just building the first major highway in Albania when I visited last. It lasts for a few miles, then it's back to rugged and crappy roads full of pot holes. Despite this, there are some beautiful places to look and visit, such as Berat, Vlore, Tepelene, Tirana, and the "Blue Eye of Albania" (a natural underground spring that is around 50 meters deep). I love this country, it's treated me outstandingly and given me a family to call my own. And no, Taken isn't "real" but the Albanian Mafia is and that poo poo is hardcore. There was also something called a Battle Virgin back in the old days where a young woman (the oldest in her household) would take up the responsibilities of a man when all the men in her house had been killed. She took a vow of celibacy, but was allowed to do the stuff that men were allowed to do like order hits on people and such (cool article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/23/world/europe/23iht-virgins.4.13927949.html?_r=0) so no, you can't go over there now and try to become a battle virgin. For one, you can't do it if you're a guy and two, arranged marriages and blood feuds are largely being pushed out of society. If you have questions about the country or whatever, ask me please. I also gives a gently caress about the bullshit that will inevitably come from posting this stuff. Make your jokes, gently caress with me, whatever, I literally don't give a poo poo anymore. I got bigger problems to worry about. Some photos of Albania that I took: Took this at a market in the town I was staying in. Thought it was funny. Fresh by Soulex?, on Flickr I was invited to a wedding as a guest of honor, I ended up taking photos of the wedding for them. Traditional Albanian Dancing by Soulex?, on Flickr Old friends loving around at a cafe. Brothers by Soulex?, on Flickr The Albanian National Team Practicing Breakaway by Soulex?, on Flickr Skanderbeu statue in Tirana with the National Flag flying in the background. Skanderbeu is also largely credited with helping hold off the Ottoman empire while the rest of Europe was in it's renassance phase. Skanderbeu by Soulex?, on Flickr A typical Albanian Beer, which is actually pretty good Birra Tirana by Soulex?, on Flickr A World War II Memorial chilling near the beach. World War 2 Memorial by Soulex?, on Flickr Also Eliza Dushku is loving hot, and has been for years. She just started embracing her heritage.
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:24 |
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i am laughing so hard at an albanian wedding tradition being to treat the bride like a stripper
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:33 |
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straight up brolic posted:i am laughing so hard at an albanian wedding tradition being to treat the bride like a stripper Yeah, it shocked me when my wife's relative came up and shoved 50 Euro in her cleavage. She told me that it was normal, and they actually ended up giving us a couple thousand euro over the wedding.
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:40 |
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Soulex posted:
Nice fam
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:46 |
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tirana is supposed to be really nice right?
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:47 |
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the OP has some nice hot dark haired babes with perky tits and cute smiles and thats enough to give the OP MBM's highest mark of out of 10 Ronaldo Heads
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:55 |
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Soulex posted:actually gave their coach Albanian citizenship after they qualified. Marking the first time that an Italian recognized Albanian statehood
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:56 |
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Seriously though, nice post, and great pictures.
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 18:59 |
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good post soulex, could you tell me more about their moon language though?
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 19:00 |
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straight up brolic posted:tirana is supposed to be really nice right? There are some really nice places in Tirana, and it's close enough to Durres to mean you can just head to the beach if you get tired of the cityscape. I liked it though, really modern, shopping districts, sometimes you'll see cold war monuments just about. By the way, everything is super cheap over there. Their Leke is almost on par with the U.S. Dollar but where you'd pay like 4-5 bucks for a beer, you pay like 1-2. It's a great place to not have to worry about food and drink. vivisectvnv posted:good post soulex, could you tell me more about their moon language though? It's super loving hard to learn. They have the verb-subject type of sentence structure so learning how to phrase things differently is difficult. However, their alphabet is phonetic so once you learn how each letter sounds you can read it aloud with decent accuracy, albeit an accent. It's super hard to pick up though, and I don't know nearly as much as I would like, but enough to convey some messages and stuff when I need to. I figured when the kids get old enough to speak English fine, they'll make it easier for me to learn Albanian completely.
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 19:57 |
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I saw Albania once while on a boat and the Greek dude in charge of the boat was like "that's Albania. It's an awful place" and that's my Albania story.
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 20:45 |
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Soulex posted:the "Blue Eye of Albania" (a natural underground spring that is around 50 meters deep) can confirm this is cool and good, however can also confirm is also ball-shrivelingly cold, despite it being 35C outside enjoy these additional Albania photos, featuring one or more old-school pwm memes we took this time to learn more about how Kosovo is Albania, but this time while waist-deep in freezing water
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 21:08 |
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why did you go to albania on holiday
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:01 |
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Jose posted:why did you go to albania on holiday there's a boat over from greece and it seemed like a thing to do it is also a good way to get any greek to explain to you at length why all albanians are thieves and rapists
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:36 |
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straight up brolic posted:tirana is supposed to be really nice right? Lol No offense Soulex, im usually a tolerant guy. big Bernie Sanders fan, refuse to say the word "Redskins", regularly listen to NPR, let my wife drive sometimes, but I have to say, I hope these turk squarehead gypsy shiptar c*nt cocks*ckers get 0 points and a dog runs on the field and eats the players
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 23:29 |
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African AIDS cum posted:Lol
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# ? Jun 7, 2016 23:44 |
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African AIDS cum posted:Lol lol
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 00:42 |
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African AIDS cum posted:Lol I know. Also of all things, redskins? Even when referring to Albanians?
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 04:01 |
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African AIDS cum posted:Lol This but I'm single and listen to classic rock
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 05:59 |
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Gigi Galli posted:Seriously though, nice post, and great pictures. Thanks! Think we're slightly veering away from football and into the arena of family/relationships but good to see a stonking babe by the green lagoon photographed by flj, the BIG HEAD goon! I hope to add more detail on Albania's players etc or at least the bolded ones (the ones with hair can go gently caress themselves ha) but let me finish with a plea for someone to write an op for romania. You can basically copy paste this one for all I care but I drew the roms in the office sweepstake and it would be a massive conflict of interest if I did two ops for teams in the same group. And a waste of time given neither will progress.
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# ? Jun 8, 2016 12:09 |
African AIDS cum posted:Lol Agreed, and so far so good
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# ? Jun 17, 2016 02:21 |
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I'm heart broken. That performance against France was so good up until the last minute. Man, what a loving blow that would have been.
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# ? Jun 17, 2016 06:45 |
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So close and yet so far.
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 14:15 |
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I love that song
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 14:23 |
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Breath Ray posted:So close and yet so far. this is why you voted out
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 14:49 |
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# ? May 4, 2024 12:53 |
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Well even though they were eliminated first round, it was monumental for this country. Again, this was the very first time that this country has had an opportunity to compete on the world wide stage against top tier countries. Regardless if they were taken seriously or not. Their first goal and subsequent goal was so important to them that the entire nation celebrated. Much like Iceland did against Portugal though their population is noticeably smaller than the Mediterranean nation. I'm sad it for it to happen so quickly, but it's the boost of confidence this country needed in order to start doing it more and more. They were underdogs but didn't have the fan favorite status of Iceland. Due in part to Iceland being cool and good and Albania having a tarnished reputation. Regardless, it was amazing to see them play and how far they have come.
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# ? Jun 27, 2016 15:19 |