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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
How many offspring you have ?

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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

2

perhaps not far away we might have to slow down or whatever when they get old enough to work out what's going on

certainly less group sex in the lounge :smugmrgw:

One is mine

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

you can do better than that

I tried, she was always busy.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
Getting lotta good sex advice about deep throttling and rear end sex from the cuckster op.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Zelder posted:

what the gently caress is this thread

Small penis satisfying emotional needs of neglected teens while married?.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Captain Yossarian posted:

Yeah OP how heavy is everyone involved here?

A slightly thicker Jessica Alba

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
How much you and your wife tilt that scale op? Substantiation adds post value.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

I don't even know what E/N means anymore


but yeah some of you guys (basically everyone in this thread that I don't know)... show some respect for the humans involved would ya!

En boils down to the lack of good sex.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Darth123123 posted:

How much you and your wife tilt that scale op? Substantiation adds post value.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

made some good friends in this line of recreation

not dudes tho. haven't med many dudes. prefer women

Your really narrowing your scope here

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
Do you have AIDS? How w many stds have you had in life that you share in an "open" relationship?

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Carmant posted:

Hook me up with your wife OP

You want crabs?

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

lmao mate would you like me to actually lay down the times and dates

date stamped pictures

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Graff posted:

echi post times dates and volumes of fluid

Pix too Tia

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

a dog from hell posted:

OP has taken such great care to communicate to us how thoughtful and considerate he is toward his ladies, but is utterly shameless about the describing licentiousness in his marriage and feels no shame in posting about deepthroating 4s while his children sleep in another room.

"Don't rain on my parade," he says.

P good post here

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Jonny 290 posted:

echi should tell the burger king story.

Tell me what you know.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

today I am meeting the 22yo I reference on the first page. I matched like early this year and still never met her. just gonna go for a walk. just expecting some friendship really. maybe a kiss? idk take it or leave it. anyway she's like 13 years younger than me so I might feel gross or she might love my old as gently caress balls, we will know in a few hours

I read this as 13 years old at first.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

scott zoloft posted:

i went on a few dates with girls i met online. nothing from the first message to last text felt organic. being able to attract someone you met through a friend or acquaintance or bumping into seems like a less and less sought after trait and i think that's a shame. you get a clear shot of who someone is when they're not ready to be "on" or courted. it's healthy for your ego. and especially in the case of men, who have that seek and court desire to fulfill, i don't see how using a service that matches you with people who're also looking to meet someone isn't a blow to your ego.

Dude you got game

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

MisterPlastic posted:

I hd sex one time with an open marriage young lady, i guess it didn't count becuse she didn't take her clothes off. It was confusing, would not do it again.

How did that work, logistically

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Acres of Quakers posted:

Actually, yes. If asked.

In this case, guy posted an ama thread and I truly want to know.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Get a vasectomy

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

mate how crass would that be. let's just say it involves the favorite activity of any self respecting human

You do know no one here is giving u a blow, even from fyad.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

you have an opportunity just before you are to leave for work ... to have was... but it's only for like 2 minutes max..

do
you work it up hard and press it in? does she desperately need you deep inside, despite having only been awake for 50 seconds..

what? are you to lazy or too weak? always have sex if there is the opportunity

hash tag yolo

Put it in her fat rolls

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Ytlaya posted:

Thanks to this post I think I have finally pin-pointed what it is about people like this that kind of skeeves me out. It's that they frame things in such a way that the girls are all insecure/needy in some way and need the guy in question to treat them nice and give them something they need. It just comes off as really patronizing towards the women involved.

(I realize that many people actually are insecure like this, but I can't help but wonder about the sort of guy who always ends up dating women like that.)

Predators?

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

just got told i was someone's "cock god"

No one cares

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
Post ur dick op, it must be huuuuuuge

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

My Linux Rig posted:

So how damaged does a girl have to be before it's a deal breaker? Would you date a girl with a fake eye or dentures?

Haha

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

most dudes are creepy pieces of poo poo

Arbitrary Coin posted:


Does your wife also have her own cache of dudes to gently caress around with? Is it mostly a series of one night stands / hookups for you/wife or do you arrange like group dates too?

And I guess congrats on not having this explode on your face like 99.99% of open relationship stories on the Internet


Hmm perhaps this fine goon isn't posting all the story on an internet comedy forum....

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
I hosed my wife of 20 yrs on Sunday morning, and man it was good

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

compuserved posted:

echi post the drama

Fanfic plz

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Anne Whateley posted:

How can they be smiling when they're going gcck gcck gcck gcck?

Lol. You've been amazingly restrained itt.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

lol so my wife had her age on facebook set wrong so on tinder she was 102 and I fixed it and HOLY poo poo now she could get laid every hour of the day if she wanted. jesus. which is good for me because she wasn't finding so much action and its not cool when its unbalanced extramarital boning

one woman tho shes full on cheating on her hubby with about a thousand dudes per second do I wanna get on board

PLUS one sexy accented british chick who is interested in me being her dom but lives 3 hour drive away



shits about to get real

also tomozza is one year gently caress a versary with my main lady

It's cool you guys share your stds together.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

maybe 22 i can't remember exactly but she did gently caress
a 19 year old lol

she's a total fox tho


:smugmrgw:


jealousy looks gross on you dude

Unlike yours, My dick is unqtipped.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

Just broke up with main gf.. I think this is a good thing. Well, she kinda got sick of the situation, where ultimately my wife could pull the plug and that happened today and I was like "sooner or later you're going to have had enough" and she was like "I think that's now"

as far as break up goes.. well, we never had a fight or said anything mean to each other.. and no one blames the other person.. and I had some of the best times and sex of my life with her. Great person. wow. big loss, but I think perhaps it was clouding my life a bit. lesson is that you can get too connected I think. thought I would be sadder

Wow didn't see that coming, sorry man.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
He's proud and loud. And p shameful imo

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

i have but not so much really. things are in a very different state of being than the glory days of yore

but I had an STI check and all clear so thats cool to know

Lol why would you worry about that?

E: lol from 2 months ago

Burt Sexual posted:

Do you have AIDS? How w many stds have you had in life that you share in an "open" relationship?

Burt Sexual fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Sep 4, 2017

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

What? Is your wife banging other guys or not? You aren't I guess. I'm trying to track your op.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

lol no one is interested outside of a smug schadenfreude sense

Remember how smug you were in the beginning itt? Lol

I'd like to hear about the marriage and your new chosen career.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

lol back at the start it was epic. it was a lot of fun. but idk. you know if you wanna go sleep with another woman ya gotta imake everything is good on the home front first.. and so where as previously ya might have let poo poo slide in your life, now ya have to deal with it. and so in that sense the open relationship brought a lot of relationship issues to the surface that previously may have stayed down. this isn't an inherently bad thing, it's just not easy to deal with. i've also had non steady employment for the larger part of two years which hasn't been good for my depression and it's impacted my life through me drinking more. my wife had enough of the emotional load of me being depressed and drinking and we decided on a two month trial separation so i could sort out my life and give her space

but that's been enlightening in of itself. wife is basically showing me how i've held back her life and all the little extra etcs that go with it

and then there is the fact that the latest blender released has now won't do gpu rendering on my current video card so the logical solution to fixing this problem is to prostitute myself out to pay for it

so as you can see it's a whole host of complex problems but the main problem lol.. is me

Blender? Wtf? Video cards wut.

Lmao at everyone worshipping your hosed up lifestyle earlier, they aren't here now. Every open relationship ends like this. Or worse. Every. One.

Get help dude.

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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

echinopsis posted:

mate the things is that maybe the open relationship hurried this situation along, but it probably would have happened anyway. the problem wasn't the open relationship, it's me

There's a direct correlation to those in open relationships and mental illness. In my experience at least.

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