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Uncle Wemus posted:mary poppins will be played by idris elba Do this unironically and I'm loving there. Screen it at P. L Traver's grave plot while each of the Disney grandkids take turns dumping on it.
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Jul 30, 2016 06:16
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Trojan.exe posted:When are they going to remake The Neverending Story? I want them to film the part where Bastian bounds through a desert where every dune is a different color on the back of a badass lion, then gets stuck in a tree-vagina oasis where the tree-lady effectively drugs him with her apple-tits until he wants to do nothing more than lay around and pretend to be five years-old forever.
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Jul 30, 2016 08:28
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thathonkey posted:i saw a commercial for the new Ben Hur in 3d. holy loving To be fair it looks so obviously bad from every frame of footage that I think the studio is just trying to bury it. Plus y'know, who under age 50 has ever even tried to watch Ben-Hur if they're aware of it at all? It's like remaking Animal Crackers or How Green Was My Valley-- yeah it's a lovely thing to do but can you tell me with a straight face that 80% of the prospective audience for a remake will have even heard of the originals, and that 19 of the remaining 20% have even bothered to see them? Celluloid Sam posted:sounds like I need to actually read the neverending story Do it fatboys. The first movie only comprises the first half or so of the book, with a few bits in the middle repurposed for the second movie. The book's second half goes into weird 70s German "false manhood" territory where Bastian wanders Fantasia using the wish power of the Auryn to do rad poo poo while each wish eats at his memories until Atreyu and Falkor have to stop him from becoming a rampaging God-Prince and have him remember he's not some magical hero but a Goon kid in a bookstore. Feels prescient given how much escapist culture was about to blow up after the book was published, really.
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Jul 30, 2016 21:07
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"Name Recognition" is one of the golden fallbacks in Hollywood and has been more or less since the beginning. "Oh gee I don't know why this lovely chariot movie with Rasta Morgan Freeman didn't succeed. It was based on a venerable franchise that market research said was sure to catch the eyes of the general public." "Hrm I guess you're right. I'm not going to fire you. Must have been a weird fluke."
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Jul 30, 2016 22:44
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Gammatron 64 posted:On the opposite side of the spectrum, you have poo poo like Kung Fury that isn't funny, contains no jokes and is like an 80s movie from the lens of someone who has never actually seen any 80s movies Thank you. It's like when I see kids making Vaporwave art and I point out "y'know there's more to the aesthetic than just teal and hot pink right?" "  You clearly don't 'get it'" I don't care if people want to do their own dumb poo poo that's vaguely inspired by some prior decade's aesthetic, but if you're going to act like you're making a "lost piece of history" then you have to put some legwork in.
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Aug 5, 2016 18:28
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It's because the movie doesn't give the impression that it's in on the joke. It plays as a satire instead of a comedy, and I don't know if you noticed but a large segment of Batman fans cannot take a loving joke to save their lives.
mind the walrus fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Aug 7, 2016 |
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Aug 7, 2016 12:00
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Yeah of all the complaints I actually don't mind Aquaroids. So far it's one-dimensional as balls because Momoa is a poo poo actor who can only act with his body, but "Conan of the Seas" is literally the only non-joke version of Aquaman that DC has managed to make stick in 75 loving years, it's not unprecedented. It's better than "audience proxy Barry."
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Aug 7, 2016 13:05
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Namor is also willing to gently caress almost anything for any reason:
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Aug 7, 2016 13:14
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Y-Hat posted:"fun" is not allowed in DC movies Oh but did you see that Justice League trailer Barry Allen totally made a self-aware quip like the Joss Whedon
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Aug 7, 2016 20:03
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Bruce Wayne is a good-for-nothing playboy who is squandering the money and goodwill his father used to build Gotham
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Aug 8, 2016 15:01
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PassTheRemote posted:Miami Connection is one of my favorite 80's B-Movies, it's just so sincere in it's story. You can always tell when someone is making a bad movie on purpose, it just feels off. I am so happy it was recovered and not forgotten. And on the inverse this is why Hobo with a Shotgun and Black Dynamite works and Kung Fury doesn't regardless of whether Kung Fury is accurate to 80s movies. It could be its own sophomoric fever dream of vaguely 80s cliches from someone who never understood 80s cliches and still work. Hobo with a Shotgun and Black Dynamite are trying to make the best version of themselves, even if that version is tongue-in-cheek and wants to be an echo of bad movies. That level of sincerity is what endears the audience to what is happening on-screen. A lot of the "bad movie" jokes are deliberate and heavily artificial, but you cannot fake the sincere affection driving them. Kung Fury is too detached and too enamored with its own premise to let the audience give a drat about it, and so it only works as an advertisement or YouTube trailer. There's nothing driving the movie underneath beyond a "look at silly stuff." There is nothing for the audience to hang onto and it becomes a high-budget equivalent to one of those talking fruit flash animations from Newgrounds in the early 00s.
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Aug 8, 2016 15:34
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I want to see authors re-imagine/remake various classics. Why isn't that more of a thing? Give me Chuck Paulahniuck's Wizard of Oz, Don DeLillo's Dresden Files, and Debbie Macomber's House of Leaves. Uncle Wemus posted:He means hollywood is done with paul feig We should be so lucky. I dug Freaks and Geeks and Bridesmaids but everything else the guy has done lately has been mediocre. Dude needs a break if nothing else.
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Aug 8, 2016 22:57
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Don't stare at her rear end that's not cool man
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Aug 9, 2016 00:09
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Does anyone remember those Sony emails that got leaked in late 2014? They're a loving trainwreck of a studio.
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Aug 9, 2016 13:06
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loquacius posted:what was the last good movie Sony Pictures has made, their Wikipedia page doesn't have a list and I'm curious I think the Shallows was a really good RoI considering how no one ever expects a dumb shark movie to be good and rate well with audiences. Other than that their last 2 years have looked like middling and mediocre box office successes, save maybe Spectre. I have to go all the way back to 22 Jump Street before I find a movie I would say is good without any reservations, and before that Django Unchained. Other than that it's a dire loving list including Pixels, Aloha, Paul Blart 2, the Angry Birds movie, Money Monster, the Brothers Grimsby, Chappie, Sex Tape, Think Like a Man Too, Amazing Spider-Man 2, The Monuments Men, American Hustle, Robocop, the Smurfs 2, Grown-ups 2 and After Earth. I mean yeah there's also This is the End, Fury, Captain Phillips, Evil Dead, White House Down, The Night Before, The Walk, the Equalizer, the Interview, and Concussion, but those are all the definition of "also-ran" save Captain Phillips.
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Aug 9, 2016 13:42
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Germstore posted:i fink it freaky and I like it a lot You'll notice anyone who says they like Chappie never says they like the actual plot or the eponymous "Jar Jar on steroids" character, they just like seeing Die Antwoord in a movie. He said he's no longer going to try to remake "classic" movies, and might be taking a break from movies or leave filmmaking entirely or something. Point being he screwed up Sony's tentpole for the summer and he's got no choice but to get away from the spotlight for a good long while.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:40
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Gammatron 64 posted:Kung Fury is comedy on the level of a Robot Chicken or Family Guy sketch - it thinks you can use pop culture references instead of jokes. "Hey, remember Thundercats! Haha! Thundercats! Laugh, you drooling retards!" You can be a bit nicer to Robot Chicken in that regard. They have a good understanding of what they're referencing and how to use that for the best jokes most of the time. Family Guy... yeah with rare exception it's just "hey remember this?" Kung Fury barely even does that. It just uses loose tropes without the context that makes those tropes worth a drat. Y-Hat posted:my dad introduced Blazing Saddles to me when i was 10. love ya dad Wish I had your dad. Is he looking for another son? Uncle Wemus posted:Also Hot Fuzz and Blazing Saddles, they are good Shaun of the Dead too, although I never warmed to it the way a lot of people did. I love it on a technical level but I consider it the weakest of the trilogy by a wide margin.
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Aug 9, 2016 21:45
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Y-Hat posted:i wish seth macfarlene died on 9/11 because "pop culture reference = joke" wouldn't have caught on as a popular comedy thing if he managed to catch his flight Nah the Critic had existed and even Golden Age Simpsons was guilty of that from time to time. Some enterprising Gen-X gently caress would have done something similar eventually. Y-Hat posted:i thought Comedy Central censored out the farts in the campfire scene. if that's true and they still uncensored "friend of the family" that is the most hosed up set of priorities ever Yeah standards and practices are infamously weird assholes when it comes to what is/isn't acceptable. And sweet. Pity on the dad jokes though. If someone has a good sense of humor there's no hope for me to ever be funny to them.
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Aug 9, 2016 22:01
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Don Tacorleone posted:I love Kung fury poo poo man I didn't know. We cool? We cool.
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Aug 10, 2016 12:59
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I'm actually all for an all-women Ocean's 11, but yeah a lot of those casting choices are loving dire. I guess Anne Hathaway and Cate Blanchett are solid anchors, and if HBC hasn't gone off the deep end I could see her working well with them in a Clooney/Damon/Pitt dynamic. Still, I never want to hate on her but Mindy Kaling is very easy to dislike, Rhianna's only true talent I've seen over her career is her ability to succeed on hustle over talent, and Awkwafina.... well hey every movie needs a dedicated clown. Then again hey I'm intrigued, so that's a start.
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Aug 10, 2016 20:40
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Gammatron 64 posted:Except it's not funny and has no jokes in it P.much. It'd be one thing if the short was worth a gently caress in spite of itself, but it's not. It's the very definition of sophomoric.
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Aug 11, 2016 13:52
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The Guantanamo Bay one might actually be a form of sentient cancer.
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Aug 11, 2016 16:26
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Was the Christmas one any good? The first one has a really bad second act where they throw gross poo poo at the wall to see what sticks, but the underlying premise of "These guys who are clearly leading men material will never be considered leading man material by Hollywood, so let's make a movie about what happens when the white protagonists go off to have their movie and prove these guys are leading men" is really solid. It's a pity that joke could only work for one movie. mind the walrus fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Aug 11, 2016 |
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Aug 11, 2016 16:32
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DeVito produced some good poo poo in the 90s including Pulp Fiction and Gattaca. The man is a goddamn national treasure.
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Aug 11, 2016 19:27
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But the women need a token hot guy.
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Aug 12, 2016 15:54
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8 year-old boys whose Dads never showed them the Matrix love that poo poo.
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Aug 22, 2016 08:40
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Y-Hat posted:i'm completely shocked that it was so widely loved by critics. i guess their expectations for what constitutes a non-childrens' animated movie is so low that any piece of poo poo with a PG-13 or R rating would get an instant good review. at least that's what i gathered from the four positive reviews i read for it, because each one contained a different thing that was astonishingly stupid Because it's an atheism-to-organized-religion takedown with the self-awareness that atheists are often pushy assholes, so it gets a +1 with a lot of critics right there. It also commits with full-heartedness to every inch of its premise whether it's the blatant religion/atheism metaphor, the wholesale "murder" of food, food murdering people, or a gigantic food orgy. There are many flawed, stupid, and awful things about that movie, but you can't say that anyone making the movie is phoning it in and that garners another level of respect. I'm more surprised that audiences are rewarding it than anything. Not because normal audiences are stupid, but rather the opposite. Everything about Sausage Party screams "For 13 year-olds only do not touch."
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Aug 25, 2016 02:49
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Pvt.Scott posted:Oh god, I hope we can start getting R rated horror films on the reg in theaters again. This PG-13 poo poo is murdering my balls. Can you make them reliably more profitable than PG-13 movies? No? Then lay back and take it baby. Light Gun Man posted:Yes please. Again the problem is-- can you reliably prove that an R-Rated horror comedy would bring reliable box office, especially once the year-in/year-out novelty of kids dying in dream sequences wears out? Deadpool is the definition of the exception that proves the rule, and I'm still not sure where all the box office came from unless his hardcore fans are even more pathetic than I thought and paid to see it 3 times a piece or more likely theaters started slacking because young teenagers were always that movie's bread and butter.
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Aug 25, 2016 22:36
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steinrokkan posted:I don't need to see those movies in theatres... But whatever happened to the adult horror exploitation direct to video genre? Has it been swallowed by the trend of "AAA picture or nothing"? Is there currently no place for B movies, because even those are deemed too risky by major studios, and the cost of accessing the market as an independent movie producer is too high, with too low returns to keep the seedy movie industry going? Dirk Squarejaw posted:Look at this guy who doesn't watch Netflix. There's 10 b-grade horror movies for every big release. This. Schlock of all sorts is still being made, it just can't afford distribution costs and the channels are more diverse than ever. The problem is that thanks to the rise in digital film techniques plus the legions of people looking to prove themselves worthy of the main film industry plus a general rise in self-awareness in film culture across the board equals a lot less of the entertaining low-rent schlock of the 60s-90s and there's a lot less incentive to put up with it because there are literally hundreds of other options one click away. Even weird Z-rent fare like Birdemic or crazy anomalies like The Room don't grow in that soil.
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Aug 25, 2016 23:25
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:On the other hand the original Nightmare on Elm Street movies weren't exactly runaway box office successes anyway. They've never been shooting for the tentpole megabucks, they were only ever expected to do moderate business in their initial theater run but then go on to regularly bring in a decent amount of $$$ in the home video and TV licencing after markets in the following years. Very true, it's just that the game is different now. To be the same kind-of wide release might not be the best route. It's the new "HBO miniseries" to say "Netflix" but I do think that might be a good compromise as that's where almost all the low to mid-tier budget stuff is going these days. JediTalentAgent posted:I'm sort of racking my brain right now for someone who might be able to be name enough, pull off the humor and the scares. At this point I'm sort of thinking "What is Matt Smith up to these days?" Matt Smith is a good outside choice. That puts me in-mind of an idea-- every new Nightmare should have a different Freddy relative to the cast and location of the new movie. They can still do sequel-interlock and maybe even put in a new "Prime Freddy" coaching them, but it really helps vary up the formula and give a potential new hook to each installment (black Freddy, lady Freddy, gay Freddy, foreign Freddy, team-ups of survivors and Freddys).
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Aug 26, 2016 03:21
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I like that idea way better. You could probably sell that to Netflix if they held the rights.
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Aug 26, 2016 06:18
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Hey the studio said we can't change the location or cast next season because of contracting issues. I'm sure the fans won't care.
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Aug 26, 2016 19:49
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