|
I have a friend like that and he has kind of ruined his life and thrown away multiple relationships with amazing women completely dedicated to him. He is otherwise a great guy but has this huge insecurity where he needs drat near every woman he interacts with to at least tell him they would be happy to gently caress him even if he plans on responding by rejecting them because he has a girlfriend already. I also get the feeling he dumps girls he genuinely loves and is most attracted to in favour of ones that he doesn't like or find as attractive but who are generically hotter. Not because he is actually that shallow on a personal level of attraction, but because he is uncomfortable with other guys not thinking of him as the guy with the hottest girl.
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2016 19:07
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 12, 2024 22:22 |
|
|
When I got burned real bad in a relationship there were moments where I was tempted to think all women were like that, especially given I come from a family where even my own mother admits all the women are hosed up, so ive been exposed to a lot of female shittiness. But I also have a bunch of great female friends and have also had women who are barely even acquaintances be ridiculously compassionate to me with no provocation just because they picked up that I was feeling a little down. Ultimate attribution error refers to the common human tendency to attribute the bad behaviour of members of groups we aren't a part of to their membership in that group, such that if you see someone of a different race/gender/minimal group deviation do something bad you are more likely to think it must be because of their race/gender/minimal group deviation than if they were the same as your own, in which case you would be more likely to judge them as an individual. Contact theory shows this is usually overcome just by having opportunities for positive or neutral interaction with members of the outgroup. Nice guys and their female equivalents isolate themselves from opportunities for positive or neutral interaction, either through literally shying away from most cross gender interaction or by unintentionally causing all interactions to become negative through their own behaviour.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2016 20:26
|
|
|
Moridin920 posted:People are piss babies though. My getting super burned experience occasionally involved literal burns, and I eventually got over it enough to date and have trust in the basic goodness of other people again. If I could do it anyone can, but I do think it depends on having a bunch of nonromantic friendships and relationships. A lot of these angry dudes seem like they are completely isolated and putting all of their need for affection and all of their resentment for not having it on whatever woman they encounter. While i don't think pick really understands male friendships they are right in some ways, because I think a lot of men don't understand the need to have friends, or at least aren't comfortable seeking them out or expressing a desire for them when they are alone.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2016 21:02
|
|
|
I told a girl I was in a long term relationship with that I felt like she was a core part of who I am as a person and that she gives my life more meaning and she responded by saying 'gee that's a lot of pressure to place on me can't you just stick to saying my boobs are mad perky like you usually do'
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2016 21:12
|
|
|
Frosted Flake posted:Seriously. Someone can be fun and good to have in your life but that doesn't make them an essential part of who you are. I said it to someone I was engaged to, where I feel it is appropriate for someone to be considered a part of who you are. But you might be right because it did do weird things to me upon breaking up. gateway posted:that they text u that u have a big dick while they stuck @ work and then they throw out their dillz as tribute 2 u I always hate it when women are all 'its soooooo big' because I know it's actually about average so I interpret it as them assuming I need reassurance when I really don't. It must be a really ingrained habit for women though because every girl I've ever said this to ends up messing up when switching to other descriptives, like "you have such a bi--nice dick...you have a nice dick".
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2016 21:41
|
|
|
Tumble posted:The most I ever made a girl 'melt' (and gently caress the haters it's totally the right word) was just after moving back to my home state, and then losing my job while I was dating this great woman. We were just kind of walking around a nature reserve and she asked me if I was doing alright. The most successful compliment i ever landed was purely by accident. a girl was telling me about a half-marathon she had run and i said "wow...you're like an inspiration to me", not thinking about it much at all. she started literally hopping up and down in happiness, and would occasionally mention it years later. she would go on to dedicate her life to trying to be a motivational speaker, so by chance i had blindly struck on something that she deeply wanted people to feel about her. That says something about the nature of compliments. People often think of the definition of a compliment as 'saying something nice about a person', but the ones that you really feel are something more like an affirmation of the person you feel you are, want to be, or want to be seen as. Such things are not so generic that simple positive statements have any weight. to a woman who values herself on the basis of being a caring, supportive person it is deeply insulting for men to casually imply that she is self-centred, and she will be most complimented by a man simply acknowledging that they consider her to be a kind person who offers them a lot. i know other women that would feel nothing to such compliments and might even be like 'pfft... what am i your mother', because being seen as kind or caring is not something they personally hold all that much value for.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 08:28
|
|
|
for a thread ostensibly about laughing at loser dudes it has covered a pretty wide range of topics, has featured a bunch of people revealing their own hangups while trying to criticise others, and it constantly lurches between sincerity and jokes time. i like it and all the people in it.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 15:05
|
|
|
i loving love showering. its warm in there and soaping yourself up is a good excuse to run your hands all over your body sensuously.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 16:37
|
|
|
SneakyFrog posted:jeez you dont need an excuse for that poo poo i guess less of an excuse, rather than utilising the water to enhance the sensuousness with which i can glide my hands.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 17:21
|
|
|
Troposphere posted:my mom thinks that there's some big conspiracy and reasoning behind why I don't shave my legs very often but the truth is I'm just lazy there actually is a big conspiracy behind why i don't shave mine. it goes all the way to the top. On a completely unrelated note, which i am taking great pains to declare is a purely hypothetical question, can you imagine if Obama had some weird-rear end fetishes that he used his presidential powers and natural charisma to coerce people into indulging? but for real, showering feels really dang good so i do it often even if i plan on isolating myself in my goon cave. maybe i am slightly ocd about it, but who cares? It makes me feel good, and this butthole is clean enough to eat off of.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 18:19
|
|
|
Moridin920 posted:Personally I've been wondering where all this cvck popularity is coming from. Yeah yeah Shakepeare invented the word but let's not pretend 'Cvckold' was always its own genre on the porn streaming sites. I hate that all black guy on white girl porn gets a little back story attached about cvcking now, when it didn't in the past. Why can't the black guy and white girl be in a loving relationship? Why do we need to think some wimpy white dude is getting hurt by it in order to get off? Why can't the fifteen black guys be gangbanging the blonde chick purely out of love and camaraderie? Why do we need to think about some loser being tortured by mixed feelings of arousal and crushed self-esteem?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 18:28
|
|
|
also people should stop re-uploading perfectly vanilla porn so that it has a title that suggests incest. cut back on the incest in general. i don't need that in my life. i'm trying to have a good time and some motherfucker's daddy stepdaughter fetish comes along and makes me involuntarily think about how that is probably the most common child-abuse scenario and suddenly i'm donating to a women's charity rather than beating off like a had planned.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 18:45
|
|
|
i've never understood why some dudes are so adverse to wearing a rubber. physically it doesn't feel all that much different. psychologically it is a very slight downer, but not enough to actually kill the fun. just think of unprotected sex as something to look forward to when the relationship gets more serious, that way you get some of the benefits of abstaining from sex until late in a relationship whilst also getting your slut on the whole time. in my experience its always been women that are negligent about the need for a condom while i am super insistent about it. so many girls tell me to just pull out, and then when i explain how that doesn't work they are all like "ohhhhh, so that explains how i got the herpes and also the three children".
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 19:22
|
|
|
kosherpickle posted:edit: also, are you bi? I don't think so, but so many of my posts are bizarre gay fiction or about swallowing cum that I've started to ask some questions of myself lately.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 19:54
|
|
|
The alpha/beta philosophy is always really sad to me and I've had arguments trying to convince other guys that it isn't accurate or a healthy way to think. It can cause some otherwise decent guys to act like jerks to women because they think the only way to get a girl is to be the coolest dude that impresses her with arrogant confidence, when inside they are actually feeling something along the lines of "gosh she is so pretty and smart I just want to make her like me", which they could probably get better results by just outright saying. Then on the hurting themselves rather than women side of things the philosophy almost always leads to them blaming themselves excessively for getting rejected, cheated on or broken up with. They might call the woman names but everything they say actually suggests that they think that they got cheated on because they were too lame to keep better men from stealing their girl.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 20:20
|
|
|
My account and plat were a christmas present from an exgf, so ive technically had my dick sucked by a goon, although she never posted much. Surprisingly, getting me an account here was nowhere near the worst thing she ever did to me.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 21:04
|
|
|
Mr. 47 posted:Lol. You sad stupid gently caress. That's not very nice, guy.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 22:58
|
|
|
epileptic_ev posted:according to both caroline AND irene if she bends over frequently around u showing the bum region that is technically called "PRESENTING" it can even be to pick something up off the ground That position is an invitation for when the woman recognises your dominance. But if they have established their dominance over you they will advance on you in that position while either cooing gently or shrieking, depending on whether they must fend off other presenting women in the vicinity.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 23:23
|
|
|
You can tell a woman is into you if, when in the company of other women, she acts like the one angry puffed up seagull that makes all the others keep their distance from your chips. The chips are the D in this analogy.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2016 23:45
|
|
|
Whenever I think of Elliott Rodgers I think of the african american pickup artist (aapua) that did a video using Elliott's videos as an example of doing everything wrong, months before anyone knew who Elliott Rodgers was. His main point was something like: this guy clearly watches a lot of anime, you can tell by the way he speaks. Anime isn't good for you, you can't go around talking like that". And it's amazing how right he was. I never made the connection between that style of speaking and anime before, but that is totally how it sounds, specifically by trying to emulate the delivery of badass smart guy type characters.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2016 12:20
|
|
|
I mean the connection between anime and virginity was obvious, but I didn't realise that there were such obvious vocal tells until a poo poo talking aapua pointed it out to me.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2016 12:24
|
|
|
His main hobby was crying, he was way into it.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2016 17:51
|
|
|
SaltLick posted:my favorite part about elliot is crashing his car then killing himself because what an idiot That is my least favourite part. He needed to survive. Just imagine him facing trial. Imagine lawyers and the judge reading sections of his manifesto out loud while he sits and listens. Even he wouldn't be able to avoid realising how incredibly shameful the stuff he revealed about himself was. Imagine him in prison. It is technically a real world tragedy so I feel a little bad for thinking it would be a source of hilarity, but I can't help it when everything about Elliott's personality and life resembled a black comedy.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2016 19:03
|
|
|
Body pillows without anime girl decals are a thing that sells to normal people because sleeping with something hugged to you is comforting, hence spooning when you have a partner. When I'm alone I tend to bunch up the blankets and hug them. Anime body pillows are a result of a lack of shame, intense loneliness, and an inability to feel something nice without sexualising it (where the anime version of sexual is often an inappropriately young girl looking kind of embarrassed about what is happening)
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2016 19:30
|
|
|
It is probably rare that someone's appearance completely shuts them out of dating, in a way that they can't change by cleaning themselves up a little. But I do have a friend who was born with birth defects (missing about a quarter of his digestive tract and half a lung) which gave him the physique of a starving African child and a bunch of surgical scars. He is very outgoing, has a huge social circle, and is successful in all areas of life outside of dating. With women though he said that he had almost given up trying because as soon as he attempted to flirt they would respond with intense pity, which of course made him feel worse than if they had been mean about the rejection. He never became bitter or 'nice' about it though, which must have been extra hard because he has to see his very attractive twin sister being super promiscuous (people joke that his birth defects are a result of her cannibalising him in the womb). But there is hope even for people in that position, because recently he finally found someone interested in him. She is a vegan chef so I guess has a thing for the skeleton aesthetic. They seem very happy together so I would say the lesson is to never become so bitter about being rejected by the majority that you aren't open to the love of that special minority who will accept you as you are.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 07:47
|
|
|
mind the walrus posted:Those people are diiiiiiiiiiiiiicks holy poo poo. Those people include the sister herself, in a running joke fashion where if he disagrees with her she'll say something like "as soon as you fall asleep I'm gonna finish off the rest of your lower intestine". I should preface most of my anecdotes with an explanation on the australian tendency towards giving each other poo poo and generally being a nation of coarse toilet-mouthed people. Moon Atari fucked around with this message at 08:19 on Aug 27, 2016 |
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 08:14
|
|
|
I have been cvcked by men far less attractive or even 'alpha' than me, if I must phrase it in language that even angry incels can understand while also keeping with thread tradition by oversharing in a way that reflects poorly on my image as someone too cool for all this.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 17:29
|
|
|
a dog from hell posted:I still want girl that is over a 5 and not retarded. But don't you want your partner to see you as an equal?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 17:56
|
|
|
I didn't mean it, don't feel bad.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 17:57
|
|
|
a dog from hell posted:I am at least a 6. I'm in my prime motherfucker. Referring to the appearance or IQ part?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 17:59
|
|
|
I'm sorry I can't help it, don't be hurt.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 18:00
|
|
|
also apologies to anyone whose feelings I may have hurt at any point in the thread with an offhand comment that was accidentally offensive to their uncommon but perfectly ok lifestyle choices.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 18:22
|
|
|
Amputee has to be the most commonly fetishised of disabilities and while many people seem offended at the idea of people having a fetish for them I've never seen how someone being specifically aroused by people who look like you is a bad thing or at all incompatible with them also wanting a meaningful relationship with you.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 19:25
|
|
|
Pick posted:If it were only an aesthetic matter that would be one thing, but her amputation still introduces a lot of pain and limitations to her life. I lived with her for a short while to get out of a bad rental situation, and she crawls around her home most of the time because her prosthetic is uncomfortable and the more she uses it, the more it hurts. (Obviously it's a leg amputation, not an arm.) Personally, I have joint and circulation problems with their own baggage, and though I'm happy to show off a few "tricks" (like the toe gap around the beer bottle) they're sprinkles on a poo poo cupcake. You can't blame someone for having a fetish for a certain appearance, but it needs to be tempered by genuine empathy. I am not convinced that disability porn gives anyone anything but the "taboo" rush and that is unacceptably superficial for something that causes someone physical pain and often social ramifications as well. I guess so, but I wouldn't rule out people being capable of having both a fetish and being compassionate. I mean, I will tolerate a lot of things to be with someone I'm attracted to, and support them even if doing so is a burden that is unrelated to the things that turn me on about them. I think someone with a fetish for a disability is more likely to not consider the less fun parts a deal breaker than someone who doesn't, especially given that the supply of their desired partner is so limited that they have to put up with more than other people will. Also even in nonfetishistic circumstances many men like the opportunity to support a woman. My mum has had crippling arthritis from a young age, and I'm pretty sure the men she dates love being able to care for her when she has a flare up. I know market analogies are frowned upon, but pursuing a niche strategy works perfectly well for businesses, especially since the internet has made it easier for consumers to find their product. That people develop fetishes for people outside the normal definition of beauty seems like a gift for the fetishised. Fewer people are attracted to them, but the ones who are happen to be very attracted to them, as if they were given the same share of boners caused as everyone else, it was just divvied up amongst a smaller group of penises.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 21:16
|
|
|
Btw I actually have the opposite of an amputee fetish. I like women with more limbs than normal. Like, waaaaaay more. I was very disappointed when The Human Centipede turned out to be appealing to a different fetish, as if scat fetishists aren't already catered to enough.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 21:20
|
|
|
Pick posted:I want you to read though this and genuinely try to think about it from the point of view of someone who has never been able to sleep in a normal bed. I'm thinking it's a similar feeling to the guys who disagree when told that there is no undatably ugly or that they don't have to be a jock to find a partner. There isn't any lack of compassion for the experience of living with a disability there, just a disagreement that the burden has to extend to being denied genuine love even by the limited people who find their aesthetic appealing, although I agree it is harder to find and that sucks. Last night I was posting from a disco for disabled people that I volunteer at every second week. I specialise in intellectual disability so definitely aren't attracted to my clients, but I do enjoy caring for people and I have plenty of other male coworkers who feel similarly. There are definitely men who wouldn't mind and might even specifically enjoy being able to care for a romantic partner even if they are significantly disabled. I don't feel it is compassionate to tell someone with a disability that poo poo just hopelessly sucks for them. I've also seen people imply that anyone with a fetish for them must be a disgusting weirdo, which seems like a crueler thing to say to the fetishised than the fetishee.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 21:37
|
|
|
Pick posted:listen to yourself, you're not saying what you think you are Tell me what I'm saying? I'm feeling pretty good about it.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 21:43
|
|
|
Zzulu posted:amputees are gross I'll take it a step further and fight for the people who want to gently caress the amputees. Amputee fetishism is the hill I choose to die upon and I'm armed with a limitless ability to keep trying to reason long after people have tired of me and just want me to shut up.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 21:53
|
|
|
Heath posted:No he didn't you loving idiot, he's saying having a physical deformity shouldn't be treated or talked about like an aesthetics death sentence. You might personally find it creepy but you're also not in the position of being an amputee and people have different wants and emotional needs. He's saying that you're more likely to have a successful relationship if someone is physically attracted to you, which is true of all people, and we all are more attracted to certain features than others. Simply having a fetish doesn't preclude having an emotionally fulfilling relationship (see: couples who are into S&M stuff, which is arguably a lot more destructive than someone getting a boner for a girl missing her leg, assuming he doesn't then cut off the other one) Thankyou! Also it is a good thing to enjoy caring for and supporting your partner whether they are disabled or not. I like to cook a meal for someone who doesn't have time or the ability, it doesn't mean I think they are a pathetic baby person. I like being able to comfort and support the emotional needs of my partner. The opportunity to do that is literally one of the reasons I want to be in relationships, and I'm amazed to hear it said that it automatically means I'm looking down on women. I'd obviously like them to be able to reciprocate, which implies equality. If you are that adverse to men who enjoy supporting women I can see why your dating life may have left you bitter towards the entire gender.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 22:02
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 12, 2024 22:22 |
|
|
Salty Josh posted:It's because you want to be appreciated in any endeavor. Whether it be cooking for someone who doesn't know how to cook or loving someone who someone wouldn't normally find attractive. If I have to avoid all kind actions for fear that I am only doing it in order to be appreciated than I will make my last kind action the act of secluding myself from all human interaction and especially dating. Some people are genuinely kind. Some people have fetishes. I assume there is some overlap in the venn diagram. I can't be sure about that though because my real fetish is making people angry at me for questioning the unlovability of the disabled.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 22:12
|
|