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CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



NomChompsky posted:

Why is everyone mad at pick? I like pick she doesn't sound half as retarded as a lot of other goons.

They aren't mad, they are just playing the game at a very high level. Their negs have reached such a point of technical expertise as to be nigh indistinguishable from pointless low-effort trolling.

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CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I was frequently oblivious in my younger days, and can only imagine how many times I was hit on by both guys and girls without knowing it. I didn't really get a clue until I was close to 30, and even now sometimes wonder.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Some of the most frustrating conversations I have ever had were trying to explain the concept of straight white male privilege to other straight white males. Guys I otherwise liked and respected simply could not wrap their heads around the idea.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



NomChompsky posted:

i thought we trusted each other

Never trust your penis.

Seriously, you should get it checked out. Probably just epididymitis, which usually won't need anything more than a brief round of antibiotics, if that.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I'm going to start posting random pics from the Tumblr mock thread that was killed by DA2 trolling if all the videogame chat keeps up.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




When the Venn diagram between spammers and PUAs overlaps.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Holy poo poo, I just noticed the card for Alex Bender has a fax number on it.

Nothing says sexytimes like having your own fax line.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



mind the walrus posted:

The only reason I have zero sympathy for her is that she makes her living being angry that people are disgusted by her body through showing her body as frequently as possible then complaining when her decorum is found lacking on the public stage. It's like the inverse of Chris Farley. She's got a legit complaint but it's all part of a stage act and I could not care less about feeding it.

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In other news here is "mathematical proof" of how hard it is for single guys to meet women. This was featured on reddit's "best of" subreddit today. Best. Of.

Best of.


In better formatting:

p * e * aw * r * am * c * l

p = proximity to women during the day
e = chance of close proximity
aw = woman's attractiveness to the man, let's be charitable and say it's a subjective value
r = chance of woman being receptive to anyone talking to her
am = man's attractiveness
c = man's willingness to take initiative and start conversation
l = man's ability to turn conversations into "romantic encounters"

He intones the phrases "Drake Equation" and "Fermi Paradoz" so you know he understands mathematics and probability.

Best of reddit.

Best. Of.

....

:psypop:

They left out a significant portion of the function, which would "if - insufferable fucktardery." I've never understood people who actually like math, and inane posts like this just reinforce my impression that there is an inverse relationship between math and social skills.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



mind the walrus posted:

reddit


That's the worst part. This is isn't even math. Math implies a quantifiable value for each variable. This is straight up "I have passed Algebra I therefore I understand human psychology."

I guess the example above is more math fetishism than anything else, but I am still using it to further confirm my initial bias.

Math sucks. :colbert:

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like Steve Buscemi

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



The Saurus posted:

Actually I was very calm and happy when i made that post.

you said some really retarded poo poo about apples a while back if i recall

feel free to call this post a meltdown too if you like

Nice meltdown.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



I think I am going to name my penis "Chad."

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



ikanreed posted:

These posts were fine and you're only hurting yourself.

So common amongst Nice Posters.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



whoflungpoop posted:

at what point in your time spent stalking embarassing retards did you come to the depressing realization that adopting their dislikeable and luridly mockable mannerisms was the closest youll ever get to a personality

Somehow I am not getting the sense that The Saurus knows much about such ephemera as "realization" or "self-awareness" or "being a competent human being."

Clochette has always struck me as pretty reasonable, but now I am left questioning that impression.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



The Saurus, could you at least TIMG those idiot comics? Many of them were posted previously in the thread, and a lot of them are basically NSFW. I'd rather not have to worry about lovely line-art pseudoporn covering my browser window.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Shugojin posted:

i can't tell if they're jokes or just the work of a very angry person

phasmid posted:

Esp. lol at the guy judging the girl who used to "party". Ewww now she's kissing him/their baby with the mouth that sucked a thousand ships!

Dude, even without toothpaste and mouthwash, none of the cells comprising her dick-sucking days are extant. As a master of all sciences, you should know this.

Also if it's not a joke, then gently caress you for judging somebody's sex life before you even knew they existed.

They read to me like the ultimate in sour grapes ranting, with the angry permavirgin lashing out and trying to bash on not only women but guy sexhavers, too. "I might be a virgin, but your girlfriend is a WHORE!!!!!"

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Travis343 posted:

Youns is a little rough. Ain't and yall are some of the most useful words there are in the English language.
Source: I'm from Oklahoma

I use "y'all" and "ain't," and also tend to use "howdy" as my most common greeting. I am a native of the Pacific Northwest and my mother is English, though.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Pick posted:

yeaa i wool

kawl-flower

coloring kranz

As a side note regarding pronunciation, anyone who inserts an "r" into the word "wash" needs to be euthanized. "Warsh" is not a loving word. "Dishwarsher" is not a loving word.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Pick posted:

I realized the rural Oregon accent is "mostly coherent but can't be hosed with all these letters"

yea shur s'fine

Even that's usually pretty mild in my experience. And in non-rural Oregon there doesn't tend to be an accent at all. That's one reason that call centers are frequently sited in Oregon - everyone can understand us.

504 posted:

Did this thread have a stroke while I was out?

Yes.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Actually hotter mates mean hotter children; from a personally-biased standpoint you're 'looking out for their futures' this way.

This actually doesn't always hold up. Witness the number of hot people with dumpy-looking parents, or hot parents with dumpy-looking children.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Mahuum Aqoha posted:

Elliot Rodger went to a party at a house in Santa Barbara, and became so incensed at the girls having fun in the presence of other guys that he found some girls standing close to the edge of a 10 feet tall retaining wall and tried to shove them off it. He was not only unable to push them off of the wall, but he himself ended up getting shoved off the wall and broke his leg.

He really should be canonized as the patron saint of self-owning.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:

Is your home the Pentagon? Cuz I'd like to crash there today.

Your post is the jet fuel that melted the steel beams of my heart.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Travis343 posted:

Nice & Kind: Aries, Taurus, Gemini
Nice & Unkind: Cancer, Leo, Libra
Not Nice and Kind: Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius
Not Nice and Not Kind: Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

I'm a Gemini and a complete and utter bastard, so that kind of throws off the calculations.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



What if it turns out that your girlfriend's dog likes you more than it does her? Does that you make your more or less of a nice guy?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



SatansChoice posted:

Archetype Consumer is missing

Are you posting from that Markov bot Twitter account here, too?

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Pick posted:

Nope he didn't like the cat "pressing" him (cuddling)

So, in other words, he was an rear end in a top hat.

I grew up with both cats and dogs, and just can't understand people who don't like them.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Puppy Galaxy posted:

Hard to believe the gbs "nice guy" thread would suck after 170 pages, but well, here we are

Now that you have dropped a sick neg on the thread I am excited to see what your follow-up will be.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Cumslut1895 posted:

This is very funny. I am glad we are laughing at this.

I get a real sense of the whole "brain in a jar" thing from your posts.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Cumslut1895 posted:

Im actually a brain and part of a spine in an armored battle robot, so that's pretty insightful

Well, now I am just picturing getting friendzoned by sexbots.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



ikanreed posted:

I'm pretty sure "my waifu" to mock someone immensely successful with an actual wife is pretty silly.

I dunno, I think it might be allowable where Yoko Ono is concerned.

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CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



It's weird, but out of all the people I've known who've died, I can't remember a single suicide.

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