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Brony Car
May 22, 2014

by Cyrano4747

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Porto hackers got into their e-mails and servers and found signs of some shady poo poo going on, like lists of referees who'll do right by Benfica, home addresses and phone numbers of referees, high ranked people in the portuguese federation sending them confidential information etc The police is already investigating and has done searches on their stadium, offices and people's houses, like their president. Basically it's what everyone had already suspected was going on in portuguese football for years, now it's just out in the open. Yesterday the hackers released to the public like 20gb of those e-mails. Dunno if this is what you mean. if you mean why aren't they top of the table, it's because they sold some of their best players like Ederson, Lindelof, Nelson Semedo etc and didn't buy suitable replacements. Also theyre bitches


ChainsawCharlie posted:

Even better,they have a whole network of high price escorts and brothels,theres a rumor going around that the dude got hacked by one of his mistresses,please dont google pedro guerra images and picture him having sex,this is going to be peak :suspense:

Is this Pedro Guerra? This dude looks like he rules.



Are any English language publications covering this? I'm surprised I have not hear of this until now.

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orange sky
May 7, 2007

Ahahah Benfica is sending letters to the companies of people who accessed the leaked information.

This absolutely not gonna backfire at all. I'd like to know how they got the info. I bet everyone that's getting letters is a NOS user.

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
Now apparently the police are investigating the possibility of players from certain clubs being paid by people with connections to Benfica to help their teams lose vs Benfica in a few matches of the 15-16 season. it hasn't been confirmed, though. still what a sick, sick club. would be embarrassed to be a fan of such a disgraceful team, very sad.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Now apparently the police are investigating the possibility of players from certain clubs being paid by people with connections to Benfica to help their teams lose vs Benfica in a few matches of the 15-16 season. it hasn't been confirmed, though. still what a sick, sick club. would be embarrassed to be a fan of such a disgraceful team, very sad.

Juvenfica FC strikes again.

Is matchfixing in Portugal a thing or would this be the first time?

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.

Gigi Galli posted:

Juvenfica FC strikes again.

Is matchfixing in Portugal a thing or would this be the first time?

there's been rumors for a long time but never anything official. the police were investigating the match Rio Ave - Feirense because they believed a few Rio Ave players had been paid to help the team lose by some betting people, that match was even talked about at the time because there was a weird amount of betting on it from abroad for such a unimportant match. anyway they confiscated the cellphones from four of the Rio Ave players and apparently found signs that they'd been in contact with Benfica people too, and that's how it started. but the police haven't confirmed any of this, the news came out just today

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
there's a Benfica - Sporting tonight. hopefully Good will triumph over evil

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
good did not prevail. the match ended in an anticlimactic draw, as do 90% of these sort of matches

awyeahz
Aug 21, 2005

~*~BeDtImE~4~B0NZ0~*~
estoril - porto abandoned at the half because the brand new stand was damaged by a 4.9 magnitude earthquake earlier today and developed cracks. estoril up 1-0, 2nd half to be replayed later in the week

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
2nd half of the match will be played on the 21th of February because Porto already have a match on Friday lol very cool great league

Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
While Mean Bean Machine is trying to defame benfica because they gave legal gifts to referees and game tickets to ministerial people, which again is perfectly fine, he forgot to mention his failtard team is actually on third.

Additionally, his Mussolini but actually even less competent-like chairman is melting down and threatening to quit, he said he was extremelly smart and enlightened and said, and i quote: "i'm so smart that even my third eye sees everything". When everyone laughed that he was using his butt hole to see things he went into social medial for a meltdown, said social media that he came back to after vowing to never set foot on facebook again.

"Meltdown President boy" posted:

Para os paineleiros falsos púdicos coloco um texto que acabei de ler:

"Significado do nome "Terceiro Olho"

Este nome (terceiro olho) tem vários significados, sendo comumente usados em crenças e religiões e até nas ciências. Eis alguns significados dos tantos existentes:

Origem na Mitologia Egípcia:
Segundo uma lenda egípcia, o deus Horus teve seu olho arrancado e depois restaurado e recolocado através da magia. “Por esse restabelecimento da visão, o símbolo traz a idéia de vigor, força e saúde”.Hoje em dia, o Olho de Horus adquiriu também outro significado e é usado para evitar o mal e espantar inveja (mau-olhado), mas continua com a idéia de trazer vigor e saúde.

Para os Indús:
O terceiro olho se encontra no sexto chakra, chamado de ajña e localizado entre as sobrancelhas. “Este é um chakra extremamente importante no hinduísmo, pois corresponde a intuição, percepção e desenvolvimento do conhecimento. É através do conhecimento que se pode transcender e chegar à iluminação”, explica Márcia. Pode parecer complicado, mas, para os hinduístas, todos possuem o terceiro olho.

Para a Biologia:
Atualmente, evidências da existência do terceiro olho podem ser encontradas na moderna embriologia. Esse órgão, bem como seus fotorreceptores, o cristalino ocular e células nervosas se desenvolvem no feto em torno do segundo mês de gestação. Ao longo do processo de crescimento, o terceiro olho desaparece sendo substituído por uma estrutura muito pequena, a glândula pineal, localizada na frente do cerebelo. Especialistas atentam para a versatilidade do misterioso órgão, que pode ser reativado para suas funções como terceiro olho. Além disso, os médicos assinalam a semelhança entre a glândula e o globo ocular: ambos possuem a membrana cristalina e receptores de cor. Os biólogos dizem que a glândula pineal, ou epífise, diminuiu de tamanho ao através dos milênios, porém, em suas origens, este órgão costumava ser do tamanho de uma grande cereja.

Para a Astrologia:
O "terceiro olho" ou "Olho de Shiva", é uma manifestação da Inteligência cósmica, que se processa independentemente da luz solar, e sim por outros tipos de radiação ou energia muito sutil, vinda do Sol.

Para o Budismo:
O terceiro olho, frequentemente relacionado a Buda, que se situaria em sua testa, serviria para que o próprio pudesse ver o sofrimento das pessoas e auxiliá-las em sua agonia.

Em Animes:
O terceiro olho também é muito utilizado em animes e mangás conhecido neles como jagan, tem entre seus poderes o fato de controlar qualquer humano normal que olhar para ele.

Resumindo atualmente:
O terceiro olho é, portanto, o olho da sabedoria, aquela que emerge da experiência de uma vida plenamente vivida, possibilitando assim uma visão crítica de tudo."
It starts off with "With regards to all the false faggots (spelling mistake on human being btw) here's a text about the third eye i just read" and kindly explained that the third eye expression wasn't mentioning his butt hole but actually an enlightened third eye like seen in egyptian and hindu philosohpy as well as in anime

This isn't the first time a full grown man calls people faggots in official statements, as he also called a tv commentator a "human being wimp who acts like a chick".

This is the man Sporting considered to be a leader, instead he's just dragging his club to debt levels never seen before. Lmao Sporting is going to be sold to the chinese in two years and become a third division semi amateur team hahahahahha

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire
Actually being sold to the Chinese is what all teh good clubs are doing now!!!! :qq:

That is pretty crazy though, he seems a bit unhinged. He would do well in Italy.

orange sky
May 7, 2007

BTW paineleiros are the people that go on sports panels you ignorant

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

orange sky posted:

BTW paineleiros are the people that go on sports panels you ignorant

Panelists to faggots

that is quite the mistranslation lol

orange sky
May 7, 2007

Yeah paneleiros is the other one

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Tbf thats kind of the point of caling panelists 'paineleiros' instead of comentators or analists,i.e,blatant dogwistle for faggots.this is,of course,regarded as the height of comedy.we're a lovelly people.

Now im wondering what is bruno de carvalho favorite anime.i bet its evangelion

Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

orange sky posted:

BTW paineleiros are the people that go on sports panels you ignorant
are you even implying he didn't mean paneleiros lol

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Mans posted:

While Mean Bean Machine is trying to defame benfica because they gave legal gifts to referees and game tickets to ministerial people, which again is perfectly fine, he forgot to mention his failtard team is actually on third.

Additionally, his Mussolini but actually even less competent-like chairman is melting down and threatening to quit, he said he was extremelly smart and enlightened and said, and i quote: "i'm so smart that even my third eye sees everything". When everyone laughed that he was using his butt hole to see things he went into social medial for a meltdown, said social media that he came back to after vowing to never set foot on facebook again.

It starts off with "With regards to all the false faggots (spelling mistake on human being btw) here's a text about the third eye i just read" and kindly explained that the third eye expression wasn't mentioning his butt hole but actually an enlightened third eye like seen in egyptian and hindu philosohpy as well as in anime

This isn't the first time a full grown man calls people faggots in official statements, as he also called a tv commentator a "human being wimp who acts like a chick".

This all rules

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
Benfica's chairman has been officially named as a defendant by the portuguese department of justice in a criminal case for bribing judges. this while Benfica are still being investigated for receiving confidential information and bribing referees and opposition's players, and are having their stadium, offices and homes searched monthly by the police. meanwhile Benfica fans pop out of hiding after 4 months to ignore all of that and talk about buttholes instead. Sad

Brony Car
May 22, 2014

by Cyrano4747
This league sounds way better than the Premier League.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
It sounds like Serie A on pcp

which really does sound awesome

Electronico6
Feb 25, 2011

Mean Bean Machine posted:

Benfica's chairman has been officially named as a defendant by the portuguese department of justice in a criminal case for bribing judges. this while Benfica are still being investigated for receiving confidential information and bribing referees and opposition's players, and are having their stadium, offices and homes searched monthly by the police. meanwhile Benfica fans pop out of hiding after 4 months to ignore all of that and talk about buttholes instead. Sad

That's because nothing is going to happen to Vieira or Benfica, so it's basically no news. Like what country is this that sends it's sports presidents to jail for misdemeanours? Germany? lol


Also Bruno de Carvalho going full Trump on the Sporting board members and yelling about that his new wife is actually really hot is funny. There's also Coentrão doing a racism, Sergio Conceição melting down despite having a relatively good season so far, a stadium stand starting to collapse mid game because it was built in a swamp. This season has had a lot great off-pitch stuff, cause the actual football being played has been 100% dire.

Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003

Che storia figata, ragazzo!



You guys should tell us more about all these antics while they happen, sounds quite entertaining even if the football is crap.

trem_two posted:

It sounds like Serie A on pcp

which really does sound awesome

Yeah pretty much this lol

orange sky
May 7, 2007

Benfica's president was caught in a wire promising a high court judge he'd get him a job in Benfica's new University if he can get rid of a fiscal debt of 1.4M.

This is the good stuff

E:also, that judge is currently a suspect in an array of other equally serious bullshit. One of interpol's most wanted, a big Mexican cartel guy, got out of Portugal cause he forgot to sign a paper or something. Also his wife is also a suspect, and she was about to be promoted to the supreme court

On this same day, a spy from our intelligence agency was just sentenced to 7 years in prison for giving info to the Russians.

Portugal is so fun

orange sky fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Feb 8, 2018

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Reminder that sportings president banned from the official sporting store a record from a band called "supporting" (get it?),of which all band members are die hard sporting fans, just because the lead singer mildly critisised him on facebook. Hes going full juche.


Benfica's president was a completely unknown guy that got his start by opening a tire shop (and smugling coke in them) .portuguesebusinessman.txt

Simone Poodoin
Jun 26, 2003

Che storia figata, ragazzo!



lmao portugal owns

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
This country loving owns.

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



After dominating for most of 90's and 00's ,thanks to a conjuction of shrewd bussiness,a superb eye for talent and lots of hookers and cocaine to referees, porto has been posting financial loss after financial loss because they insist on buying overpriced crap players using the "mediating services" of the company headed by the presidents son.it got so bad they broke fpp rules and are now under restricted management (i.e. they cant actually spend money to buy players).cue the exit of several board members because the teat ran dry.

Despite claiming to be run as a model bussiness and posting profits for several years,benfica had its IT services hacked not once but twice,exposing confidential communication inside the club which shows several high ranking members involved in things better described as "not technicaly illegal but shady as gently caress".despite record profits,instead of investing in the football squad the president insist on building the benfica collegue,benfica hotel and benfica radio.which are not bad ideas,if the construction company who will probably be awarded those contracts wasnt most likely owned by benficas president through a series of shell companies.

Sportings financial woes are so bad they had to exchange part of their debt for a financial instrument called vmocs,which basically means the club is now owned by a former banker who stole billions when his bank went tits up in 2014,and a guy from angola who made his fortune on money laundering,arms smuggling and blood diamonds.meanwhile they are paying 8 million euros per year to a coach that won one supercup and one league cup.in 3 years.

Antifa Poltergeist fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Feb 9, 2018

Electronico6
Feb 25, 2011

ChainsawCharlie posted:

After dominating for most of 90's and 00's ,thanks to a conjuction of shrewd bussiness,a superb eye for talent and lots of hookers and cocaine to referees, porto has been posting financial loss after financial loss because they insist on buying overpriced crap players using the "mediating services" of the company headed by the presidents son.it got so bad they broke fpp rules and are now under restricted management (i.e. they cant actually spend money to buy players).cue the exit of several board members because the teat ran dry.

Despite claiming to be run as a model bussiness and posting profits for several years,benfica had its IT services hacked not once but twice,exposing confidential communication inside the club which shows several high ranking members involved in things better described as "not technicaly illegal but shady as gently caress".despite record profits,instead of investing in the football squad the president insist on building the benfica collegue,benfica hotel and benfica radio.which are not bad ideas,if the construction company who will probably be awarded those contracts wasnt most likely owned by benficas president through a series of shell companies.

Sportings financial woes are so bad they had to exchange part of their debt for a financial instrument called vmocs,which basically means the club is now owned by a former banker who stole billions when his bank went tits up in 2014,and a guy from angola who made his fortune on money laundering,arms smuggling and blood diamonds.meanwhile they are paying 8 million euros per year to a coach that won one supercup and one league cup.in 3 years.

#toobigtofail

Hashtag Banterzone
Dec 8, 2005


Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM
My parents are gonna be in Lisbon for Benfica vs Porto. I'd like to get them tickets for my dad's birthday. Any suggestions? I don't see anything except the next match for sale on Benfica's site.

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Hashtag Banterzone posted:

My parents are gonna be in Lisbon for Benfica vs Porto. I'd like to get them tickets for my dad's birthday. Any suggestions? I don't see anything except the next match for sale on Benfica's site.

Yep,thats pretty much it, if youre using this one

Tickets go on sale around 1 or 2 weeks before the game.
Dont know about pre-orders for non associates,try dropping an email to bilhetes@slbenfica.pt. derby match like that most tickets will be sold in the first couple of days.lower levels is more expensive.upper levels are cheaper and where all the peasants sit, if you want to experience the true benfica and portuguese fan experience of name calling the referee for 90+ minutes and cursing every player until one does a thing and sudently they are the best in the world.

Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

ChainsawCharlie posted:

After dominating for most of 90's and 00's ,thanks to a conjuction of shrewd bussiness,a superb eye for talent and lots of hookers and cocaine to referees, porto has been posting financial loss after financial loss because they insist on buying overpriced crap players using the "mediating services" of the company headed by the presidents son.it got so bad they broke fpp rules and are now under restricted management (i.e. they cant actually spend money to buy players).cue the exit of several board members because the teat ran dry.

Despite claiming to be run as a model bussiness and posting profits for several years,benfica had its IT services hacked not once but twice,exposing confidential communication inside the club which shows several high ranking members involved in things better described as "not technicaly illegal but shady as gently caress".despite record profits,instead of investing in the football squad the president insist on building the benfica collegue,benfica hotel and benfica radio.which are not bad ideas,if the construction company who will probably be awarded those contracts wasnt most likely owned by benficas president through a series of shell companies.

Sportings financial woes are so bad they had to exchange part of their debt for a financial instrument called vmocs,which basically means the club is now owned by a former banker who stole billions when his bank went tits up in 2014,and a guy from angola who made his fortune on money laundering,arms smuggling and blood diamonds.meanwhile they are paying 8 million euros per year to a coach that won one supercup and one league cup.in 3 years.

contra os canhoes marchar, marchaaaaaaaaar

nutri_void
Apr 18, 2015

I shall devour your soul.
Grimey Drawer

ChainsawCharlie posted:

After dominating for most of 90's and 00's ,thanks to a conjuction of shrewd bussiness,a superb eye for talent and lots of hookers and cocaine to referees, porto has been posting financial loss after financial loss because they insist on buying overpriced crap players using the "mediating services" of the company headed by the presidents son.it got so bad they broke fpp rules and are now under restricted management (i.e. they cant actually spend money to buy players).cue the exit of several board members because the teat ran dry.

Despite claiming to be run as a model bussiness and posting profits for several years,benfica had its IT services hacked not once but twice,exposing confidential communication inside the club which shows several high ranking members involved in things better described as "not technicaly illegal but shady as gently caress".despite record profits,instead of investing in the football squad the president insist on building the benfica collegue,benfica hotel and benfica radio.which are not bad ideas,if the construction company who will probably be awarded those contracts wasnt most likely owned by benficas president through a series of shell companies.

Sportings financial woes are so bad they had to exchange part of their debt for a financial instrument called vmocs,which basically means the club is now owned by a former banker who stole billions when his bank went tits up in 2014,and a guy from angola who made his fortune on money laundering,arms smuggling and blood diamonds.meanwhile they are paying 8 million euros per year to a coach that won one supercup and one league cup.in 3 years.

This sucks hard but also owns equally hard

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
Porto beat Sporting 2-1 last night. here's a table:



things are looking pretty good for Porto right now, though they still have to play Benfica away.

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Yep,this one seems to be going to porto.although they have a really thin squad, barring a april meltdown they will take it.

Benfica has nothing going on for them besides the league,and have kinda sorted themselves out,but they hosed up way too much at the start of the season. benfica also has a incredible tradition of shiting the bed against porto at home.they still have to play sporting away.

Sporting is hobling along,because jorge jesus teams have a storied history of running out of steam around march/april.also a much funny tradition of getting dunked on by reality and karma under the leadership of glorious leader.

In short,all teams are poo poo,and we should be rooting for Chaves,the only good and proper club.

orange sky
May 7, 2007

Good news, everyone!

Paulo Gonçalves, Benfica's lead legal advisor, just got arrested along with Justice Department officials for suspicion of corruption and bribery. Apparently Paulo paid those officials to access the "e-mail process" files in order to be a step ahead of the investigation.

https://www.dn.pt/desporto/benfica/interior/paulo-goncalves-detido-por-suspeitas-de-corrupcao-9164440.html

I was just next to this guy the other day (I've been doing consulting for Benfica), this is crazy

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



Should have stomped on his nuts when you had the chance.

The good news is now no one remembers porto literaly paying estoril 750 thousand euros just before their game for no reason.

orange sky
May 7, 2007

ChainsawCharlie posted:

Should have stomped on his nuts when you had the chance.

The good news is now no one remembers porto literaly paying estoril 750 thousand euros just before their game for no reason.

That one was great too.
Porto's got a trick YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!! Years of debt saved up for one useful occasion!

Mean Bean Machine
May 9, 2008

Only when I breathe.
https://www.si.com/soccer/2018/03/06/benfica-facilities-raided-part-corruption-investigation-club-officials

let's talk about buttholes instead. SAD!

Antifa Poltergeist
Jun 3, 2004

"We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you"



But bruno de carvalho hasnt done something stupid/amusing in the last 30 minutes?!

Im so glad i started following the nba more closelly ,because this league is a loving trash fire.

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Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
So just FYI Benfica is a mere two points away from Porto and Sporting Braga (aka the good Sporting) is one point away from Sporting lisbon (aka the bad Sporting).

Benfica is going to win this league and will see Braga in the Champions.

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