- ThndrShk2k
- Nov 3, 2009
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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Bread Liar
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Over the course of the past year there has been many conspiracies going on about the presidential candidates as well as in general about the overabundance of world unrest. While conspiracies are often tied in truth and events, they are all speculation and can be misinterpreted.
The problem with conspiracies being inaccurate is that no one discusses the conspiracies to deflate obvious mistakes. Such as that the majority of politicians are lizard people. While it's true that a many of them are, it discounts the minority races that also populate the governments across the world. Such as crab people, beast-men, aliens, and even robots/androids. 
This thread is here to discuss the theories, and try to Occam razor them to theories that make a little more sense, even if it's just 1 degree.
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Section 1: 2016 Election
Section 2: Basic profiles of non-election topics
Section #: The Rules
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Republican
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Ted Cruz
Aliases: Ted "The Zodiac Killer" Cruz, Cruz Control, Teddy Crush.
Race:Human? / Reptiloid Hybrid.
Profile: Feeds off from blood and misery. A modern day nosferatu fueled by racism, he can walk in the day as he is only weak to black light. Hasn't fed since the 80s and is becoming desperate to gorge.
Conspiracies:
- Might not be the Zodiac Killer, only the hapless fool who let demons enter his body for world domination
- Actually won the nomination for Republicans
Weakness: Virgin and Asian Blood.
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Jeb Bush
Aliases: Jeb!, Turtle Man, Pacifist Turtle Master
Race:Human
Profile: The secret governmental project baby which was conceived through artificial insemination. Father DNA comes from Mr Rogers (or a close relative, specific creation records are lost to a fire in the 80s.)
Conspiracies:
- Might not actually be real.
Weakness: Buttersafe's webcomics about the saddest turtle
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Donald Trump
Aliases: Donald Trump
Race:100% Man
Profile: Man is the true monster. This being can be nurtured to use tools beyond their normal scope. Through failure it adapts, grows stronger, buys safeguards.
There was once a fable long ago that told of such a beast. He conquered lands, women, and even governments themselves. But in the end their infernal search could not conquer his own satisfaction. The world plunged into darkness, razed and scorched beyond normal means. Even the destruction of one of the twin moons did not satisfy this creature.
One could say that eventually time conquers all, but through tale he has yet to fail.
Conspiracies:
- Trump College made people smart
- Trump Steaks are great
- Trump Tower is taller than the rest
- Trump Air was the best most fuel efficient airline
- Trump Sea Cruise, where Trump doesn't see Cruz.
Weakness: Man has no true weakness, not even himself. God have mercy on us all.
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Democrats
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Hillary Clinton
Aliases: Yaas Queen, Killery, Shillary, Billary, etc.-llary
Race:Reptilian? / Reptroid?
Profile: Either the most sinister politician of the year, or the most hapless wanderer since Mr Magoo. Hillary Clinton has been involved with more conspiracies than the victims of multiple alien abductions. No one knows if she is telling the truth or not, not even herself.
Conspiracies:
Weakness: Politics
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Independents
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Bernie Sanders
Aliases: Freedom Giver, Bird Whisperer, Great of the Greats, Legacy to the Golden Rule
Race:Crustation/Craboid.
Profile: Tired of the oppression of those in need on the surface, it bubbles around his protected heart when he sees how similar it is to his people who only live via the daylight from the suncrystals. With age, the cantankerous nature of his kind takes more and more root and reveals his true visage.
Conspiracies:
- He physically threw a chair at Barbara Boxer before being escorted out of the building by police
- He's actually an atheist
- He's actually the most racist man alive
- He's also sexist beyond belief.
Weakness: Economically Depressed citizens crying for help
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Third Party
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Gary Johnson
Aliases: The Johnson
Race:Human
Profile: Gary 'The Johnson' Johnson was a republican, now running as libertarian. He wishes to expose himself to the world and get in their face. If the world can't handle The Johnson and get him on top of the ballot, maybe the world doesn't deserve to have The Johnson.
Conspiracies:
- No one knows who he really is.
- Might be a giant dick joke
Weakness: A cup
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Jill Stein
Aliases: Das Stein, Gutmother, GMO Coverup Subject #244
Race:Venusian
Profile: With her mission to de-publicize extra and intra terrestrial life, she aims to de-federalize all medicine so her kind can safely get medical care without fear of exposure. This fear also fuels to prevent unintended developments that may decimate their kind, like vaccines against their blood or poisonous crops that Terran can still eat.
Conspiracies:
- She has more than half a campaign strategy.
- She actually believes everything the rest of the party does
Weakness: Reason
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Non-Election Erection:
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Basic profiles:
Aliens: People from mexico, and outer space.
Bigfoot: Just really hairy people, also could be aliens.
Lizardmen: Dry skin is a bitch, might be extra-terrestrial/Terran hybrid by now but they were here first.
Crabmen: Ritualistically chants the same thing over and over again. 100% Terran.
Ghosts: Could be aliens, or aliens are just a huge prank by these guys. Ghost are huge dicks.
Spirits: Like a ghost, but more towards the traditional ghast. They're generated by the planet and electromagnetic fields. Warning: Do not piss of nature spirits for the love of god.
CyberSpirits: Technological ghasts. One could say they are ghosts in the machine, but much like modern programming they are terribly dumb other than MMO ghasts.
Chemtrails: The government re-oxygenating the atmosphere.
Luna/Moon: Presumably hollow, or made out of some sort of jelly on the inside. Secret governmental/alien bases lie on the dark side.
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Edward Snowden
Profile: Infamous superhacker known as permabanned user HillaryStomper58, currently under the protection of Russia as the US will literally murder him in jail.
Conspiracies:
- Was always a Russian from his last name. A den of snow, Russia, the same land.
- Is dead
Nikola Tesla
Profile: World's smartest man, may have been influence by Aliens but unlikely as Faraday cages and electromagnetic interference would've scrambled all messages. Might've found a piece of technology early on that he based his works off from, but that doesn't diminish his accomplishments
Was eventually murdered by the CIA for them to steal his works, the majority of them never published to the public
Conspiracies:
- Literally the imagination of Edison and a fiction writer.
John F Kennedy
Profile: A temporary politician that inspired more than he should, and payed the price. Due to his death, his legacy of going to the moon had to be completed. One might wonder what he was thinking as what we eventually found on the moon 10 years later was more frightening than the reds of Russia.
Conspiracies:
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Thread Rules
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Try to make the token effort to at least appear sane.
Don't just make up crazy poo poo without at least defending your opinion or point of view.
Reference history and tropes appropriately to prove your point if you can.
Otherwise: Go Nuts
ThndrShk2k has issued a correction as of 23:13 on Aug 7, 2016
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Aug 7, 2016 01:06
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May 6, 2024 16:14
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- ThndrShk2k
- Nov 3, 2009
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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Bread Liar
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Example Post: 1-2 Degrees of Occam's applied to a murder conspiracy
Subject: Hillary Clinton
Conspiracy: Ruthless ambitious murder
http://www.justicenewsnetwork.com/the-dead-body-count-grows-ever-longer-doesnt-it/
Latest Updates!!!!
Beverly Campbell’s death ~Feb. 2016
Berta Caceres’s death ~March 3rd, 2016
John Jones’ death ~April 19th, 2016
John Ashe’s death ~June 21st, 2016
Seth Rich’s death ~July 8th, 2016
Mark Weiner’s death ~July 26th, 2016
Victor Thorn’s death ~August 1st, 2016
Shawn Lucas’ death ~August 2nd or 3rd, 2016
Strange deadly things happen around the Clintons. Below is a comprehensive list of mysterious deaths connected to the Clintons that have grave implications. I’m just sayin.. Larry Alger Publisher JNN
1 – James McDougal – Clinton’s convicted Whitewater partner died of an apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key witness in Ken Starr’s investigation.
2 – Mary Mahoney – A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
3 – Vince Foster – Former white House councilor, and colleague of Hillary Clinton at Little Rock’s Rose Law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the head, ruled a suicide.
4 – Ron Brown – Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in the top of Brown’s skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death Brown was being investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.
5 – C. Victor Raiser II and Montgomery Raiser, Major players in the Clinton fund raising organization died in a private plane crash in July 1992.
6 – Paul Tulley – Democratic National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992… Described by Clinton as a “Dear friend and trusted advisor.”
7- Ed Willey – Clinton fund raiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods in VA of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide. Ed Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the oval office in the White House. Ed Willey was involved in several Clinton fund raising events.
8 – Jerry Parks – Head of Clinton’s gubernatorial security team in Little Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park’s son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house.
9 – James Bunch – Died from a gunshot suicide. It was reported that he had a “Black Book” of people which contained names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas.
10 – James Wilson – Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide. He was reported to have ties to Whitewater.
11- Kathy Ferguson, ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson, was found dead in May 1994, in her living room with a gunshot to her head. It was ruled a suicide even though there were several packed suitcases, as if she were going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a co-defendant along with Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones lawsuit. Kathy Ferguson was a possible corroborating witness for Paula Jones.
12 – Bill Shelton – Arkansas State Trooper and fiancee of Kathy Ferguson. Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancee, he was found dead in June, 1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the grave site of his fiancee.
13 – Gandy Baugh – Attorney for Clinton’s friend Dan Lassater, died by jumping out a window of a tall building January, 1994. His client was a convicted drug distributor.
14 – Florence Martin – Accountant & sub-contractor for the CIA, was related to the Barry Seal Mena Airport drug smuggling case. He died of three gunshot wounds.
15 – Suzanne Coleman – Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head, ruled a suicide. Was pregnant at the time of her death.
16 – Paula Grober – Clinton’s speech interpreter for the deaf from 1978 until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one car accident.
17 – Danny Casolaro – Investigative reporter. Investigating Mena Airport and Arkansas Development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparently, in the middle of his investigation.
18 – Paul Wilcher – Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with Casolaro and the 1980 “October Surprise” was found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993 in his Washington DC apartment. Had delivered a report to Janet Reno three weeks before his death
19 – Jon Parnell Walker – Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp. Jumped to his death from his Arlington, Virginia apartment balcony August15, 1993. He was investigating the Morgan Guarantee scandal.
20 – Barbara Wise – Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996. Her bruised, nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of Commerce.
21- Charles Meissner – Assistant Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane crash.
22 – Dr. Stanley Heard – Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care Advisory Committee, died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash. Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton’s advisory council personally treated Clinton’s mother, stepfather and brother.
23 – Barry Seal – Drug running pilot out of Mena, Arkansas, death was no accident.
24 – Johnny Lawhorn Jr. – Mechanic, found a check made out to Bill Clinton in the trunk of a car left at his repair shop. He was found dead after his car had hit a utility pole.
25 – Stanley Huggins – Investigated Madison Guarantee. His death was a purported suicide and his report was never released.
26- Hershell Friday – Attorney and Clinton fund raiser died March 1, 1994 when his plane exploded.
27 – Kevin Ives and Don Henry – Known as “The boys on the track” case. Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mena Arkansas airport drug operation. A controversial case, the initial report of death said, due to falling asleep on railroad tracks. Later reports claim the two boys had been slain before being placed on the tracks. Many linked to the case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury.
THE FOLLOWING PERSONS HAD INFORMATION ON THE IVES/HENRY CASE:
28 – Keith Coney – Died when his motorcycle slammed into the back of a truck, July 1988.
29 – Keith McMaskle – Died stabbed 113 times, Nov, 1988
30 – Gregory Collins – Died from a gunshot wound January 1989.
31 – Jeff Rhodes – He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April 1989.
33 – James Milan – Found decapitated. However, the Coroner ruled his death was due to “natural causes.”
34 – Jordan Kettleson – Was found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup truck in June 1990.
35 – Richard Winters – A suspect in the Ives / Henry deaths. He was killed in a set-up robbery July 1989.
THE FOLLOWING CLINTON BODYGUARDS ARE DEAD: 36 – Major William S. Barkley Jr. 37 – Captain Scott J. Reynolds 38 – Sgt. Brian Hanley 39 – Sgt. Tim Sabel 40 – Major General William Robertson 41 – Col. William Densberger 42 – Col. Robert Kelly 43 – Spec. Gary Rhodes 44 – Steve Willis 45 – Robert Williams 46 – Conway LeBleu 47 – Todd McKeehan
And then there is this:
‘If you read I committed suicide don’t believe it’
A beauty queen who claims she was Bill Clinton’s mistress has posted a dramatic warning on Facebook that if she dies by ‘suicide’ no-one should believe it – because Hillary had previously ‘beat me down so I’d lose everything’. Sally Miller, a one-time Miss Arkansas, warned that she believed she could be killed for revealing … Continue reading ‘If you read I committed suicide don’t believe it’
The Federal Observer 4 Comments
https://cicerosghost.wordpress.com/2016/08/05/shock-news-man-who-served-lawsuit-on-the-dnc-now-dead/
Shawn-Lucas-2Shawn Lucas served the DNC with a lawsuit on behalf of Bernie Sanders’ supporters. It is common knowledge Hillary Clinton stole the Democratic Primaries from Sanders and many people, myself included (though I don’t support socialism) called for the DNC to be sued for fraud against the American people.
Shawn Lucas is now dead.
He is the eighth death in 2016 that has some kind of tie to the Clintons. Here is a list from the reference cited in footnote 1:
Beverly Campell’s death ~Feb. 2016
Berta Caceres’s death ~March 3rd, 2016
John Jones’ death ~April 19th, 2016
John Ashe’s death ~June 21st, 2016
Seth Rich’s death ~July 8th, 2016
Mark Weiner’s death ~July 26th, 2016
Victor Thorn’s death ~August 1st, 2016
Shawn Lucas’ death ~August 2nd or 3rd, 2016
Folks, we are witnessing a HOSTILE TAKEOVER of America, right before our eyes, right under our noses. This is a COUP in progress.
Our military is sworn to protect America “from all enemies, foreign or domestic.”
Our domestic enemies, the Clintons, have sold America out to its foreign enemies.
WHERE THE HELL IS OUR MILITARY?
Send this link to every person you know who has military contacts and PETITION the military to stop the Clinton War Machine before it destroys America and the military has nothing left to defend.
Counter Conspiracy: Hapless Rube innocent of all if not the majority of deaths/murders above.
The real hot take about the Body Count is really that Clinton has keenly escaped the executors of all of the shady dealings that the others were also involved in or investigating.
While her continued re-involvement into those sectors are really poor judgement, it's not like the organizers can really ice her and her husband.
So she just gets pushed as a more successful participant to offset losses/bad gains and any accidents to ensure smooth operations are not involved with her and her ambitions specifically.
Basically it's like getting involved in a gambling den, making friends/associates , and those other people get in the way of the gambling den's business so to the fishes with them.
Also serves as a good warning to her as they probably can arrange some sort of... health issue.
They got her by her cloaca so she's not gonna expose any issues.
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Aug 7, 2016 01:07
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- R. Guyovich
- Dec 25, 1991
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Hillary Did Harambe.
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Aug 7, 2016 01:31
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- Ogmius815
- Aug 25, 2005
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centrism is a hell of a drug
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Is this a thread where we can talk about actual coast to coast? It's just not as entertaining as it used to be.
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Aug 7, 2016 07:05
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- i say swears online
- Mar 4, 2005
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Is this a thread where we can talk about actual coast to coast? It's just not as entertaining as it used to be.
yeah, why is that? their topics are so drat bad now
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Aug 7, 2016 07:48
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- i say swears online
- Mar 4, 2005
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The worst show of this type is definitely Clive Lewis'
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Aug 7, 2016 15:47
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- ThndrShk2k
- Nov 3, 2009
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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Bread Liar
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Hot take from facebook: Snowden is dead, maybe.
http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/snowden-dead-man-switch/
Of course sources (comments) point to Clinton as she did threaten him.
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Aug 7, 2016 16:40
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May 6, 2024 16:14
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- ThndrShk2k
- Nov 3, 2009
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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Bread Liar
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Hot take on bigfoot:
Subject: Bigfoot aka The Abominable Snowman.
Conspiracy: Tall hairy proto-human wandering the wilderness, commonly in the forest and hills/mountains. Rarely spotty by hunters, only large footprints identify their passing
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Counter-Conspiracy: Bigass hairy guys just want to be left alone, and become hermits/mountain men.
There's a couple reality television shows in Alaska and other areas about their more presentable kin.
Also if you were really hairy would you want to be seen?
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Aug 9, 2016 01:40
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Aug 7, 2016 01:06
