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Triggered posted:This is the patriarchal grip, this is the best secret handshake you learn in the temple: lol that's one of the masonic handshakes too isn't it
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Aug 29, 2016 21:49
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:lol that's one of the masonic handshakes too isn't it Well considering Mormons stole all the mason ceremonies and used them for their temple stuff its not too surprising. Joseph Smith was a master mason.
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Aug 29, 2016 21:51
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I (seriously) love reading about these weird mormon secrets. I also love listening to Doug Fabrizio's NPR shows about weird mormon stuff. Mormons are great. I'm a fan. For non Utah goons Doug is our local NPR nerd and he occasionally does really good shows that get into the weird cultural and historical stuff that makes mormonism so interesting to us outsiders. http://radiowest.kuer.org/ old beast lunatic fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Aug 29, 2016 |
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Aug 29, 2016 22:08
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wildemere posted:When I lived in Sydney in the mid '90s we got almost weekly visits from clean cut young Mormon Americans. you're one chill motherfucker
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Aug 29, 2016 22:38
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Moridin920 posted:i love when religious people do poo poo like this. Like what who are you fooling here, God? Same. Maybe it's because I was raised catholic, so y'know guilt, but it never ceases to boggle my mind when the devout think they can pull a fast one on the big guy.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:43
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I worked with the Utah Conservation Corps last fall for my Americorps; lived in Cedar City for 3 months nice little town by the mountains. It was funny about getting to my apartment because I flew and soon learned there was no transit and the taxi service wasn't responding to my calls so I decided to start walking; thankfully it was cloudy and 70 that day in the desert. Made it to the highway when an old Native American in a pick up coming from a golf game offered to ride me to my apartment. Trained up in Logan and learned how to use a chainsaw and get wilderness first aid. I was stationed in Bryce Canyon for the whole three months (4 days on 3 days off) and it is the most beautiful place I have ever seen with my eyes, even compared to Zion. First crew all quit on me though since they hated spraying weeds for a week while making 550 every two weeks on a stipend from the Americorps. 2nd Crew was much better. Most of UT should just be bought off by the government and made into one gigantic national park.
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Aug 30, 2016 03:56
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achillesforever6 posted:Most of UT should just be bought off by the government and made into one gigantic national park. Most of the cool stuff is already, or BLM land. Southern Utah is def nice for that. Also, lucky. I love Zion and Bryce and we'd go there often and it was always my dream job to be a park ranger stationed somewhere there. Then I realized p much pay and everything was poo poo and it's only be fun for a short stint while your single in early/mid 20s.
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Aug 30, 2016 06:55
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that one stretch of I-70 freaking sucks. its rocks for 100 miles.
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Aug 30, 2016 06:56
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Why did the Mormons massacre pioneers? How is that discussed in LDS circles today?
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Aug 30, 2016 16:38
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Frosted Flake posted:Why did the Mormons massacre pioneers? How is that discussed in LDS circles today? Fairly simple, it wasnt discussed in LDS circles. The church never taught about it when I grew up in the church. Brother Brigham tore down the memorial originally and its only in the past few that the church has acknowledged the massacre and put up a new memorial. Earlier apologetics said that the poor persecuted Mormons were afraid that this band of unarmed migrants were going to attack them. They also somehow heard the migrants were saying bad things about brother Joseph so it wasnt so bad they were killed. Recent apologetics now say they were bad men that did it but they emphasise that church leaders were not involved. Brigham maybe didnt order the killings (which im not sure on) but he made sure that the vast majority of the participants didnt get prosecuted. These men murdered everyone apart from children small enough not to remember.
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Aug 30, 2016 17:04
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Triggered posted:This is the patriarchal grip, this is the best secret handshake you learn in the temple: lol that was my fraternities. probably used a lot
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Aug 30, 2016 17:29
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Suppose there are only a few handshakes you can do. The first handshake you put your thumbs on the first knuckle. The second is between the first and second knuckle, the third you stretch out your hand and the other person places their thumb and fore finger on the palm and outside the hand. Last one is the patriarchal grip.
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Aug 30, 2016 17:34
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What is the worst thing Mormons have done in the name of their faith?
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Aug 30, 2016 17:39
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fits my needs posted:What is the worst thing Mormons have done in the name of their faith? Toss up between blood atonement, treating black people as an inferior race or its current treatment of homosexuals. Sorry polygamy is probably the worst. Its lovely fruit keeps lingering on and on.
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Aug 30, 2016 17:47
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Chinatown posted:that one stretch of I-70 freaking sucks. its rocks for 100 miles. Keep driving, you won't be missed.
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Aug 30, 2016 17:49
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My polygamist neighbors down the road seem pretty happy.
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Aug 30, 2016 17:51
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Edgar posted:My polygamist neighbors down the road seem pretty happy. So do muslims right before they blow themselves up for alah. I'm sure you'd be happy too if you sincerely believed you'd be eternally ineligible for having any kind of relationship with your chosen deity, who btw totally loves you and wants a relationship with you too but due to the very rules he set, he somehow just can't manage that unless you devote yourself to some dude 30 years your senior and let him call you his 4th wife and screw you whenever he felt like it while you forsake any actual possibility of real love, and then that dream of being some guy's throwaway dicksock finally came true, giving you your key to the best heaven. It's not the rarest thing in the world to find the ignorant and stupid poisoned into believing a miserable situation is actually a joyous one. GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Aug 30, 2016 |
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Aug 30, 2016 18:31
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GreatGreen posted:So do muslims right before they blow themselves up for alah. At least you didn't go the  route.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:44
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GreatGreen posted:It's not the rarest thing in the world to find the ignorant and stupid poisoned into believing a miserable situation is actually a joyous one. It's very sad, though. Do the church elders or did the founders actually believe all this stuff? Stuff like Smith having a specific revelation that mentioned his wife's name and said she had to accept polygamy makes me think its foundation was self serving cynical bullshit that's just been built on with more bullshit. Perhaps the same could be said of all religions, etc.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:57
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A Strange Aeon posted:It's very sad, though. Do the church elders or did the founders actually believe all this stuff? Stuff like Smith having a specific revelation that mentioned his wife's name and said she had to accept polygamy makes me think its foundation was self serving cynical bullshit that's just been built on with more bullshit. LDS doesn't officially condone polygamy anymore but yes, the leaders acknowledge that polygamy was a "necessary" thing for a lot of womens' salvation, you see... The gist is that both men and women can only really get into the top heaven through the good graces of their spouses, which is incidentally why family is so important to LDS members. It's purely selfish. "I can't get into heaven without having a great family and being devoted to it, so that's what I'll have and that's what I'll be." In this system, man achieves heaven through the graces of his wife, and woman achieves heaven through the graces of her husband. The sexism comes in by the fact that only men can get "the priesthood" or in other words "the authority of the church" bestowed upon them. This authority grants them the ordained ability to stamp their seal of approval on their wives' applications into heaven, the application being marriage to the LDS man with the priesthood. And the man through having a family and trying to "repopulate the world with the righteous" is his heavenly application that will be approved by the church, or heaven itself. This also explains why according to the church an LDS man can get into heaven if he chooses to marry a non-LDS woman, but an LDS woman forfeits her ticket to heaven if she marries a non-LDS man. It's a fantastic tool the Mormons use to control their women into not loving anybody they don't approve of while allowing the men to gently caress whoever. So by this logic, polygamy is necessary to save women from Mormon purgatory by marrying them off to LDS men so they can get into heaven. The actual reason polygamy exists as we all know is to save LDS men from having to think about having their women stolen and then being cu... well you know, by all those evil non-LDS men. At its heart, the entire religion is about using people's sexuality and their familial instincts as weapons against them for control over them. It's really disgusting. GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Aug 30, 2016 |
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Aug 30, 2016 20:17
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Triggered posted:MLM stuff
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Aug 30, 2016 20:28
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Regarding the "Destroying Angels", the classic Sherlock Holmes story "A Study In Scarlet", if not strictly accurate in every detail, gives a good account of how the Mormons were seen outside of Europe. Basically like a Scorcese flick except Joe Pesci doesn't ever curse because it's against his religion. "Let me find out you didn't marry your daughter to one of our bishops, I'll leave you wherever the frick I find you."
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Aug 30, 2016 20:29
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Triggered posted:This is the patriarchal grip, this is the best secret handshake you learn in the temple: I thought this was the "Let's have gay sex in the bathroom stall" handshake.... I think I've been misled!
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Aug 30, 2016 20:30
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GreatGreen posted:LDS doesn't officially condone polygamy anymore but yes, the leaders acknowledge that polygamy was a "necessary" thing for a lot of womens' salvation, you see... Correction, they dont practice polygamy on Earth for the time being, nothing has changed about the eternal aspect of polygamy. Men can be sealed to more than one woman in the temple still. Two of the apostles alive today (Nelson and Oaks) are both sealed to two women. I saw Oaks in person with his poo poo eating grin brag about getting his new wife. I spoke in an earlier post about getting your new name in the temple. Your wife must tell you hers because you will be the one bringing her forth from the grave. You dont tell her your secret name though.
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Aug 30, 2016 20:30
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when i was in federal prison it was very surprising to me that it was packed with mormons. even my cellie was a mormon from vegas. these guys were all in there for financial/mortgage fraud. even in prison these guys kept the 2-faced super nice act up.
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Aug 30, 2016 20:31
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the great deceiver posted:when i was in federal prison it was very surprising to me that it was packed with mormons. even my cellie was a mormon from vegas. these guys were all in there for financial/mortgage fraud. even in prison these guys kept the 2-faced super nice act up.
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Aug 30, 2016 20:32
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the great deceiver posted:when i was in federal prison it was very surprising to me that it was packed with mormons. even my cellie was a mormon from vegas. these guys were all in there for financial/mortgage fraud. even in prison these guys kept the 2-faced super nice act up. were they allowed to have more than one prison wife?
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Aug 30, 2016 20:33
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Y-Hat posted:were you in a Club Fed sorta prison? yeah for the last year and a half, that was where i met the mormons. i was in higher security before that and i didnt meet any mormons there. the club feds out west are filled with em though.
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Aug 30, 2016 20:33
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My new Mormon name would be Tengo L. Penechapo
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Aug 30, 2016 20:54
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the great deceiver posted:yeah for the last year and a half, that was where i met the mormons. i was in higher security before that and i didnt meet any mormons there. the club feds out west are filled with em though. What were they in for?
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Aug 30, 2016 21:15
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ElGroucho posted:My new Mormon name would be Tengo L. Penechapo You would be assigned something poo poo like Jethro or Nimrod.
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Aug 30, 2016 21:26
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Darth123123 posted:What were they in for? most were in for mortgage fraud. 2 of them were in for weed surprisingly enough. one guy was a financial advisor that had ripped off like half the elderly people at his LDS temple for like 17 million.
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Aug 30, 2016 21:29
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Isn't there another unique mormon business in which they edit mainstream movies to make them non-sinful?
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Aug 30, 2016 21:39
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etalian posted:Isn't there another unique mormon business in which they edit mainstream movies to make them non-sinful? It was called "Clean Flicks" and for a brief period of time there were a dozen of them franchised across the Wasatch Front. Some production company didn't like them editing movies and sued them out of business. This was in the early 2000's.
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Aug 30, 2016 21:51
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Dick Bass posted:It was called "Clean Flicks" and for a brief period of time there were a dozen of them franchised across the Wasatch Front. lol https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CleanFlicks
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Aug 30, 2016 21:57
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Dick Bass posted:It was called "Clean Flicks" and for a brief period of time there were a dozen of them franchised across the Wasatch Front. There's a documentary about them by the same name, it's really good also the owner went to prison for paying a couple teens to blow him lol
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Aug 30, 2016 22:01
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To be fair to LDS doctrine, they teach that blessing and rewards may come in this life or the next. So if you're doing everything right but are poor as gently caress, don't worry, your blessing will be awesome, just gotta wait a bit longer!
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Aug 30, 2016 22:05
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Has this thread gone over how hosed up the mormon afterlife is? If not, I'll provide a good guide for you. First off, did you know that how good of a person you are has nothing to do with mormon heaven? It doesn't matter if you lived every day to help others or died to save the ones you love. God gives zero fucks about that. The only thing that matters in the afterlife is how much work you have done to bring more people into the church and how selflessly you have devoted your life to the church. When you die your soul is separated from the body. The soul can then end up in two possible places. If you are a good, obedient mormon you get to go to spirit paradise. Here you will be required to spend your time doing missionary work to convert the souls of the lost (non mormons) over to mormonism. You will do this until your judgment session with big G arrives. If you are a filthy heathen or an inadequate mormon you go to spirit prison, where you will suffer from regret and shame from your unrepented sins, and loneliness because you will be separated from everyone you ever knew. The only way out is to accept mormonism and do missionary work to atone for not being a good mormon. Once you are good enough, you go to spirit paradise until big G calls you up for judgment. After you are judged by the big man, you get to go to one of three levels of heaven based on how mormon you are. Level 1 heaven is for all sinners and non-believers and everyone who ended up in spirit prison. It is apparently like regular life is, except better in some unexplained way. People who are considered good but not mormon enough will end up here. Murderers and criminals of all types are allowed into this level as well. Level 2 heaven is for mormons who failed to reach their full potential. Apparently it is supposed to be amazing and desirable, but I have never been told how or why it is better than Level 1. All I know is that mormons end up here if they failed to pay their tithes or marry a mormon and have kids, or failed to do everything that the church has asked of them. Lucky for those mormons, just being part of the church is enough to live in an afterlife that is many magnitudes better than the non mormons' afterlife. Level 3, the ultimate super heaven, is reserved only for perfect mormons. Those who live here get to chill with God himself and be gods in their own right (BUT NOT IF THEY ARE WOMEN). Women who get to go here are still subservient to their husbands and get to be breeding-cattle who produce the spirits that will populate the worlds that their god-husbands make. Also, people who go to level 3 get to have the people of level 2 as their eternal servants. Sounds pretty good, right?
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Aug 30, 2016 22:48
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That actually sounds like Level 1 would be chiller than Level 2 Level 2 just sounds 'better' by virtue of the fact that you're living in Level 1 heaven but you're still just their servant so gently caress that, plus all the interesting people are gonna be in 1 pffff
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Aug 30, 2016 22:49
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what's the official LDS stance on divorce and remarriage? all i know is that they'll grant you a divorce in this world, but you'll always be considered married in mormon heaven. how hard is it to actually get one- is it Hasidic Jewish levels of "impossible without a husband's consent" or less than that? i'm wondering because i had two utah mormon babysitters when i was younger. both of them got divorced- one because her husband was refusing to take his bipolar medication and she didn't feel safe having her 4 children around him, one i'm not sure why but i knew her then-boyfriend looked like a creepy bastard even when i was 3 years old. that second one had one daughter and remarried, but she's not as observant of a mormon as before, if she is at all
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Aug 30, 2016 22:53
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