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Don't forget, there are sub levels for the celestial kingdom. Like if you died as a child or mentally challenge you get instant access to the highest level.
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Aug 30, 2016 22:55
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Why would anyone in their right mind want to have more than one wife? One person trying to destroy your sense of self is more than enough.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:00
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The fact that I can watch watch porn and drink coffee and still get into level 1 heaven is pretty good.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:12
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The Skeleton King posted:Level 1 heaven is for all sinners and non-believers and everyone who ended up in spirit prison. It is apparently like regular life is, except better in some unexplained way. People who are considered good but not mormon enough will end up here. Murderers and criminals of all types are allowed into this level as well. I grew up in Utah and to this day I use "Telestial, Terrestrial, Celestial" for three degrees of effort.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:14
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I don't see why polygamy should be illegal. I don't mean making it legal so Warren Jeffs can gently caress a harem of underage girls, but just the idea of having multiple spouses doesn't seem like it should be a crime. If the argument is that polygamy is a patriarchal social system and bad for women, that's not because it's polygamous but because it's Mormon. You can structure a patriarchal system around singular marriages. And there can be non-patriarchal polygamous arrangements. I know enough hippies who are into polyamory and think singular arrangements are constraining, although it's not something I'd personally want.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:21
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it'd be super easy to defraud welfare and other support programs if polygamy were legal polyandry should be fine tho i wonder what mormons think about that
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Aug 30, 2016 23:24
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Wikkheiser posted:And there can be non-patriarchal polygamous arrangements.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:29
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Oh right, I did forget about the sub-levels for super heaven. What a load of poo poo. One of the things I hate most about mormons is that they never leave you alone after you've been tainted by them. I left the church five years ago. My church records have not been removed yet because that is an annoying and long process and I do not want to have to speak to the fuckers ever again. So they apparently think I am some "inactive member" who just needs a pal to bring him back. The local ward hasn't gotten the idea that I hate them and have sent "home teachers" to try and bring the gospel back into my life. I usually try to avoid them since I don't want the ward to hate my parents (who I still live with for now), because my parents actually benefit from being liked by other members. Since mormons own a large number of businesses here my parents can get a lot of favors and discounts just by being members. I don't want to mess that up for them by telling people that I hate them, their families, and everything they believe in. Speaking of home teachers, the church does things called "callings" which is basically free labor. You could end up being called as a financial clerk, a storehouse worker, a boyscout leader, or whatever the church needs someone to do for free. It is generally frowned upon to turn down a calling and you may lose temple privileges.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:30
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i have no issue with polygamy, I have issue with the religious doctrine surrounding it all otherwise i really couldn't care less H.P. Hovercraft posted:it'd be super easy to defraud welfare and other support programs if polygamy were legal yeah but there's probably ways around that I mean it's "legal" now, you just can't all get married. It's not like the morality police will come arrest you for living polygamously though. The tax benefits of being married aren't even all that great anymore.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:31
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GRANNYS PEACH TEA posted:I grew up in Utah and to this day I use "Telestial, Terrestrial, Celestial" for three degrees of effort. Yeah, that's what they are called. So much bullshit.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:32
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Being a Mormon on earth sounds like hell.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:36
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The Skeleton King posted:Oh right, I did forget about the sub-levels for super heaven. What a load of poo poo. just tell them that you've converted to judaism
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Aug 30, 2016 23:37
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Moridin920 posted:I mean it's "legal" now, you just can't all get married. It's not like the morality police will come arrest you for living polygamously though. The tax benefits of being married aren't even all that great anymore. But it's also rarely enforced from what I've read. Like you have to really piss off the state to get them to throw the books at you. Or if there's abuse happening.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:38
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fits my needs posted:Being a Mormon on earth sounds like hell.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:40
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Wikkheiser posted:This I'm not sure about. I really don't know the laws, but it's my understanding that Utah treats bigamy as a third-degree felony. So if a man is living with multiple women who are not his wives legally speaking, and declaring himself in a polygamous relationship, then the state can prosecute. Huh. Is that because they took so much flak for being polygamists in the past so they're extra prickly about it? Because as far as I know it's not illegal anywhere else... Interesting relevant article I found just now: https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/federal-judge-declares-utah-polygamy-law-unconstitutional quote:Utah's anti-polygamy law is unconstitutional, a federal judge ruled this week. State Attorney General Sean Reyes has already said that he plans to appeal the decision.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:40
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fits my needs posted:Being a Mormon on earth sounds like hell. 10 kids, no booze, no coffee. 10% income to the church. Being mormon is like eternal forced labor on some sci fi prison planet.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:43
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Moridin920 posted:Huh. Is that because they took so much flak for being polygamists in the past so they're extra prickly about it? Because as far as I know it's not illegal anywhere else... https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/04/12/utahs-polygamy-ban-restored-as-sister-wives-lawsuit-declared-moot/ But it's weird because the family first sued the state despite NOT being prosecuted. Hence the appeals court decision -- they ruled the family did not have standing to sue in the first place. They were apparently being investigated though. But they were not facing any charges. The more I'm reading about it, the more the bigamy law looks like something Utah rarely uses if ever, and it's sorta there unless they want to go after a family for something else. Say if there's welfare fraud going on, they can tack on a bigamy charge to force a plea deal. And since no one ever goes to prison for bigamy the law has never been thrown out, because no one has properly sued, despite the fact that it's probably unconstitutional.
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Aug 30, 2016 23:48
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Triggered posted:"Normal" Mormons dont do polygamy anymore, they are waiting for it in heaven though. When jesus comes for round 2 hes bringing polygamy back with him There's a reason it's called the second coming of christ 
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Aug 31, 2016 00:07
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:just tell them that you've converted to judaism also, where do posthumously converted mormons go to in Multi-Level Heaven?
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Aug 31, 2016 00:21
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fits my needs posted:Being a Mormon on earth sounds like hell. It's worse than hell. I almost killed myself because of mormonism.
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Aug 31, 2016 00:28
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I recommend the book "the witness wore red" about the lady who was forced to be another wife to the FLDS head and eventually escaped and helped get the guy arrested.
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Aug 31, 2016 00:48
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My GF's great-grandfather was one of the original founders of Short Creek, the FLDS city on the Colorado border that existed solely as a haven for polygamists in the very early 20th century.* The hilarious thing is that his wife, who must have been a firebrand, told him, basically, "if you take another wife, I'll cut your balls off while you sleep". So the poor bastard endures being raided by authorities multiple times, having to live at the rear end-end of nowhere, go through the hassle of building an entire town out of nothing.....and he only gets one wife. YOU GET NOTHING/genewilder *still exists, changed its name to Hildale, I believe.
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Aug 31, 2016 01:51
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Wikkheiser posted:I don't see why polygamy should be illegal. I don't mean making it legal so Warren Jeffs can gently caress a harem of underage girls, but just the idea of having multiple spouses doesn't seem like it should be a crime. It makes divorce law really complicated. Like, impossibly complicated. From the government perspective legal marriage is primarily a contract about joint property and child custody. How do you divide up the community property if a guy has 5 wives and 1 wants a divorce? Does she get half the common property, or 1/6? Does it make a difference if the woman getting the divorce was high-school dropout homemaker, or a highly paid professional who personally funded 70% of the downpayment on the house they all live in? Guy has 5 wives. 2 kids per wife. The guy and 3 of the women have jobs. 2 of the women are stay at home full time childcare, because honestly that's cheaper than putting the 10 kids in daycare. 1 of the working wives decides to divorce him. For the purpose of determining custody, who is the 'primary caregiver'? It isn't the father nor the mother, it is one of the father's other wives, but she doesn't have standing to request custody at all. Incidentally, the 2 kids involved have a greater emotional attachment to that primary caregiver than they do to either of their very busy biological parents. Guy has 1 wife. Decides to give polygamy a go and marry 2 young hotties. Does the first wife have veto power, or can he marry against her will? And polygamy is relatively simple compared to polyamory. If you allow polygamy you also have to allow polyamorous pansexuals group marriage. You get 6 people (3 men, 3 women) living in a house where they are all married to each other. Or worse, 1 guy is married 2 of the women, 1 guys is married to 2 of the women and one of the men, one of the men is only married to that one guy, and 1 woman is married to 2 of the men and 3 of the women. And then someone wants a divorce and the whole drama bomb gets dragged into court. If there are kids involved it is even worse, because of the mess with half-siblings and possibly not even knowing who is the biological father of a given kid prior to the divorce. You can have all the religious ceremonies you want, but the court system has enough trouble dealing with joint property and child custody when there are only 2 participants.
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Aug 31, 2016 04:44
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The only thing more fun than never being mormon is being formerly mormon. Let's share stories about a grown man pulling you into his office at 14 year old and asking you to describe the porn you masturbate to!
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Aug 31, 2016 04:58
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Edgar posted:Don't forget, there are sub levels for the celestial kingdom. Like if you died as a child or mentally challenge you get instant access to the highest level. BRB, gonna go murder some kids so they can get into the best heaven. That's a good deed, right?
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Aug 31, 2016 04:59
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Sudden Loud Noise posted:The only thing more fun than never being mormon is being formerly mormon. lmao I would have never in a million years admitted to masturbating let alone watching porn. That kind is honesty would get my internet taken away 
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Aug 31, 2016 06:21
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Facebook Aunt posted:BRB, gonna go murder some kids so they can get into the best heaven. That's a good deed, right? Thats one argument that is always dismissed by LDS that completely makes sense. If you follow LDS theology it would totally make sense to murder your kids before they are eight because it would guarantee their exaltation. Another theological problem for Mormons is that they claim your right to choose is so important that we had a war in heaven over it. This right to choose should mean that God needs to be completely hands off but according to the scriptures he does whatever the gently caress he likes. Commanding genocide and murder all on pain of death if not followed. Mormons talk about agency then forget about the time when he sent an angel with a burning sword to threaten Joseph with destruction unless he married his young maid he was banging. Think about all the terrible things man has done to each other, Joseph being required to have 40 wives is what needed divine intervention.
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Aug 31, 2016 06:22
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I don't know why that one dude is so super angry about mormon afterlife. Sure it's got some really dumb poo poo it in, but I'd take that over 'you jerked off, an eternity of agonizing torment for you' that you get with every other christian sect.Sudden Loud Noise posted:The only thing more fun than never being mormon is being formerly mormon. During one of my interviews as a teenager the guy wanted to know if I looked at porn and jerked off. I told him no, but he ignored me and really wanted to know about if I would cum when I was looking and porn and jerking off. A different time, or maybe the same time I don't remember, I was at scouts or young mens or whatever the stupid mid-week do stuff with your peers thing is called, and the bishop happened to be there so they decided to spring the yearly interviews on us, and he was absolutely livid that I would dare to wear a Metallica shirt into his office. Like, I seriously thought he wasn't going to pass me for awhile over it.
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Aug 31, 2016 06:50
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Aug 31, 2016 08:16
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Do they still have "outer darkness"? It always seemed like a nice place to end up. quiet like.... you know?
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Aug 31, 2016 08:46
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Dear Watson posted:Do they still have "outer darkness"? It always seemed like a nice place to end up. quiet like.... you know? Outer darkness is still there, our loving father in heaven will send countless billions of his dear children there for eternal punishment. Nice fella.
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Aug 31, 2016 08:49
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Facebook Aunt posted:BRB, gonna go murder some kids so they can get into the best heaven. That's a good deed, right? To be fair, that logic works for a lot of religions. Although I guess most other religions would put you in hell for that instead of giving you a discount heaven. The core principle of guaranteeing heaven for your children through infanticide would still work though.
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Aug 31, 2016 13:12
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counterfeitsaint posted:I don't know why that one dude is so super angry about mormon afterlife. Sure it's got some really dumb poo poo it in, but I'd take that over 'you jerked off, an eternity of agonizing torment for you' that you get with every other christian sect. Being a mormon elder seems like a really good job for a pedophile
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Aug 31, 2016 15:44
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It is, why you think they love scouting so much?
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Aug 31, 2016 15:53
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i enjoy how organized religion just completely blinds people even when its for pseudo cool things like satanism (sp)
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Aug 31, 2016 15:56
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ElGroucho posted:Being a mormon elder seems like a really good job for a pedophile There was this girl in my sixth grade class, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had a huge crush on her. She looked kinda like a more countrified version of Natalie Portman. Well that year, we moved out of Utah (to Florida LOL) and I found out that she "decided" not to go on to the seventh grade. No, God had plans for her and they didn't include high school. She ended up getting married to a 44 year old fellow who was an elder as well as involved with city hall somehow. Dude was nearly three times her age. So yeah, I'm pretty sure they screen for pedophiles to make sure they don't accidentally get anybody who's NOT a pedophile.
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Aug 31, 2016 18:55
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KakerMix posted:lol @ mormons more like morons
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Aug 31, 2016 19:15
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The worst part about being Mormon is its the most boring cult ever. You can't be like "We secretly sacrificed these animals and bathed in their blood." No, just secret handshakes and this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wu0sdFcA7A Not even allowed to pretend to slit your own throat and promise to overthrow the government anymore. Sudden Loud Noise fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Aug 31, 2016 |
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Aug 31, 2016 22:57
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it says something that the LDS leadership clique is formed in the exact same way as the board of directors at a corporation
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Aug 31, 2016 22:59
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Sudden Loud Noise posted:The worst part about being Mormon is its the most boring cult ever. You can't be like "We secretly sacrificed these animals and bathed in their blood." If Joseph had lived long enough he would have brought back animal sacrifice in the temples. He was talking about it in 1840.
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Aug 31, 2016 23:05
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