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my coworker is out of town for a week. i really want to get him good when he gets back!!! i thought about maybe gluing his mouse to his desk (LMAO) but to be honest that's not really moving the needle. i need some good ideas in by Sept 6th. TIA to all
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Aug 29, 2016 22:06
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| # ? May 2, 2024 08:56 |
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jerk youre weener off onto his keyboard and then eat it lol
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Aug 29, 2016 22:08
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put black silly putty in his USB ports!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:08
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Put a piece of masking tape over his mouse's laser
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Aug 29, 2016 22:08
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Replace all of his belongings with stuff you found in the garbage.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:09
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OP send him text messages about the weird temp in his cubicle and why is this dude using your computer yo.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:09
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a hole-y ghost posted:Put a piece of masking tape over his mouse's laser i've already done this to him and it was a real crowd pelaser!!!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:09
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Shotgun him to death when he walks in the door!! 
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Aug 29, 2016 22:09
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put his penis in your mouth when he comes back hahahah its just a prank bro
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Aug 29, 2016 22:09
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Hey guys, been a long time since I got around to postin, but I've had a TON of farts to smell and only one nose to smell em with. Everyone in the office elected me to go get them coffee today. I just got back from the Starbucks down the street with two armfuls of coffee carriers, only I made a *little* stop along the way. See I've been waiting for this chance for the longest time, and today it paid off. In an alleyway I ducked into on the way back, I put a fiber capsule into each cup. So, in about one or two hours I'll be treated to a literal buffet of farts! Right now I'm flushing my smellers out with nasal spray just so it's in tip-top form when everyone starts "making change" for my contribution. I'll keep ya posted!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:10
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Maldoror posted:Hey guys, been a long time since I got around to postin, but I've had a TON of farts to smell and only one nose to smell em with. Everyone in the office elected me to go get them coffee today. I just got back from the Starbucks down the street with two armfuls of coffee carriers, only I made a *little* stop along the way. See I've been waiting for this chance for the longest time, and today it paid off. In an alleyway I ducked into on the way back, I put a fiber capsule into each cup. So, in about one or two hours I'll be treated to a literal buffet of farts! Right now I'm flushing my smellers out with nasal spray just so it's in tip-top form when everyone starts "making change" for my contribution.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:10
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Maldoror posted:Hey guys, been a long time since I got around to postin, but I've had a TON of farts to smell and only one nose to smell em with. Everyone in the office elected me to go get them coffee today. I just got back from the Starbucks down the street with two armfuls of coffee carriers, only I made a *little* stop along the way. See I've been waiting for this chance for the longest time, and today it paid off. In an alleyway I ducked into on the way back, I put a fiber capsule into each cup. So, in about one or two hours I'll be treated to a literal buffet of farts! Right now I'm flushing my smellers out with nasal spray just so it's in tip-top form when everyone starts "making change" for my contribution. do this
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Aug 29, 2016 22:12
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Maldoror posted:Hey guys, been a long time since I got around to postin, but I've had a TON of farts to smell and only one nose to smell em with. Everyone in the office elected me to go get them coffee today. I just got back from the Starbucks down the street with two armfuls of coffee carriers, only I made a *little* stop along the way. See I've been waiting for this chance for the longest time, and today it paid off. In an alleyway I ducked into on the way back, I put a fiber capsule into each cup. So, in about one or two hours I'll be treated to a literal buffet of farts! Right now I'm flushing my smellers out with nasal spray just so it's in tip-top form when everyone starts "making change" for my contribution.  egad. brilliant.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:13
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Make him a blueberry pie and tell him it's huckleberry pie and never tell him the truth about it. But tell everyone else at work the truth and all laugh at how stupid he is to buy into the ruse.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:14
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take a poo poo all over your desk that'll show him!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:15
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Donut with mayonnaise inside. Then hit him with the toothpaste oreo. Then replace the whole milk he puts in his coffee with the ol skim. Stick lives wires through the bottom of his chair so when he sits down he gets zapped right in the balls
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Aug 29, 2016 22:16
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Captain Yossarian posted:Shotgun him to death when he walks in the door!! Firebomb his home!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:16
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Replace his hard drive with a floppy disk drive
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Aug 29, 2016 22:17
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suck his dick
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Aug 29, 2016 22:18
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mdm posted:take a poo poo all over your desk that'll show him! I was gonna suggest pooping on his buddy's desk but this is a way better idea.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:18
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poo poo in his urethra
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Aug 29, 2016 22:18
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assassinate his preferred fantasy football team
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Aug 29, 2016 22:18
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Hot sauce on office chair. It will soak in by time he gets back, and once he does he will sit in the chair. After some time the hot sauce will activate, and his anus will be a flame!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:18
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You need to make a mold of your balls and then make some jello in it. Welcome him back with a nice jello version of your nutsack.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:19
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Get Trump elected and convince the INS that your coworker is a minority or Tell Hillary he has dirt on her
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Aug 29, 2016 22:21
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suckle on my overused balls and when he sees you going to town, hold up a sign that says 'haha im not actually gay but the nut so good tho so what are you gonna do'
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Aug 29, 2016 22:22
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chop his head off with a long sword
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Aug 29, 2016 22:23
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Call the Social Security Administration and tell them he died and won't need any of the sweet sweet medicare money
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Aug 29, 2016 22:23
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buy him a welcome home potbellied pig.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:24
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Plant drugs in his desk
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Aug 29, 2016 22:27
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Cool_tony posted:Plant drugs in his desk Cool_tony, that doesn't seem very "cool"
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Aug 29, 2016 22:28
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gigawhite posted:Donut with mayonnaise inside. Then hit him with the toothpaste oreo. Then replace the whole milk he puts in his coffee with the ol skim. Stick lives wires through the bottom of his chair so when he sits down he gets zapped right in the balls now we're cookin' with mesquite!!!!!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:29
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make his Word autocorrect file all borked so it autocorrects correctly spelled words into their commonly misspelled version you know like chief - cheif advisable -adviseable etc the bonus is that if he misspells them in the first place then it won't underline it as being wrong lol
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Aug 29, 2016 22:33
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Convince the boss his job can be done for a fraction of the cost by outsourcing it to India. Then he will be jobless when he gets back, and you will get a promotion for cutting costs. His face sure will be red!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:33
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piss. everywhere.
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Aug 29, 2016 22:33
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OctoberBlues posted:Cool_tony, that doesn't seem very "cool" Good point. Mods: Please change my name to Fool_tony
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Aug 29, 2016 22:34
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Put a glass stink bomb under the wheels of his office chair so as soon as he sits down.... kapow!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:48
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poo poo in his mouth!!! he'll really hate it!!!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:48
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SneakyFrog posted:buy him a welcome home potbellied pig. then you number it #1 then get another pig and number it #2 then be ready for hilarity to ensure, goonfriend!
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Aug 29, 2016 22:51
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| # ? May 2, 2024 08:56 |
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hold him down and tattoo a dick on his chest
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Aug 29, 2016 22:53
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