|
The summer is over. Your team is poo poo. Your team will still make the playoffs in the Orange Slice bracket. But it's the foot. And it's stepping. Where are we at this point in the year? Let's go by team for fun. EAST: 1. Toronto FC: Giovinco is better than the entire continent. 2. New York City: Score a bunch and pray it's enough. Frank Lampard is better than everyone not named Giovinco. 3. New Jersey: Bradley Wright-Phillips scores for fun. They've still lost a step from their last few years, but there's no team more fun to watch. 4. Philadelphia: transforming back into a pumpkin in real time. Will still make the playoffs. 5. Montreal: Slowly shrinking into a corn cob, only French and with worse traffic than Nebraska. Might still wake up and destroy us all. 6. DC United: they're slightly more watchable dreck, and it's all thanks to Patrick Mullins. ------- 7. Orlando: Kreis has work to do. I expect them to be better next season. 8. New England: Jermaine Jones is the only difference between the Revs being good and being trash. You'll note his absence, and their subsequent deflation thereafter. 9. Columbus: Behold the unmaking of what could've been a defending champion. gently caress off, Columbus. 10. Chicago: pick a random Emily Dickinson poem and sing it to the tune of Gilligan's Island. WEST: 1. Dallas: Did you know Dallas was five points clear of the league? Me neither. 2. Salt Lake: Did you know RSL are back from the dead and it's an Eastern European dude's fault? I sorta did but not to this degree. 3. Colorado: if you read this board, you know Colorado started the year on fire. They've slowly deflated since then but they'll be fine. 4. LA Galaxy: Picture Julian Glover in the third Indiana Jones movie. Steven Gerrard is a known loser, famous choke artist, and his presence has infected this once mighty team. They'll be princes, but the Gerrard Disease will never let them be kings. Also gently caress off de Jong. 5. Kansas City: Everyone is talking about their disappointing year, but there's worse fates than Good Team In The West. 6. Portland: Maybe win a game outside of Portland you losers. --------- 7. San Jose: Overachieving, even in this position. 8. Seattle: It's important to fail sometimes, Sounders fans. It'll teach you to appreciate what you had. And one day, when you're in year five of a terrible coach, you'll realize that all those years you yelled SIGI OUT were, in fact, the good old days. And then you'll be adults. The minivan awaits you, friends. 9. Vancouver: Traded for Fabian Espindola in an attempt to get a goal scorer. Not only is he not one of those anymore, he refused to move to Canada and ended up in Mexico. All of Cascadia is sludge. 10. Houston: you know what else is bright orange and unwatchable? A mushroom cloud. Blow this team up. Anyhow DC is leading NYC on a great finish from Lloyd Sam, Acosta is gonna be out for the September 11th Memorial Match, and soccer is on in September.
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 00:56
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 14:03 |
|
|
And I might be by myself in here (change the title to this), but it's really remarkable how the philosophy on the field has changed since Sam and Mullins arrived. Since we have no tactics, we take the shape of our players. The first half was all Boswell and Birnbaum and Marcelo dictating defense first while the offense sputtered. Suddenly, now passes are connecting and flowing forward, as offensive minded people like Acosta, Sam and Mullins are making things happen. Luke Mishu, however, has no ideas, because he's trash. I'm not even sure he's actually a person. If I met him I'd poke him to see if he fell into pixels like in the Lawnmower Man.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 01:04
|
|
|
Also trash: Jalen Robinson. Very nice, good lanky dude, but no football intelligence.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 01:33
|
|
|
If Luke Mishu ever sees the light of day in MLS again, it'll be for an expansion team that got him for a can of magic beans. That may be the worst back pass I've ever seen.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 01:48
|
|
|
And suddenly, in the last five minutes, it's 2-2 and the whole world has come unglued.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 02:00
|
|
|
Your Boy Fancy posted:And suddenly, in the last five minutes, it's 2-2 and the whole world has come unglued. It's back to normal again
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 02:05
|
|
|
Luke Mishu isn't good against normal MLS create a players. Against Frank Lampard and David Villa, he may as well be me.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 02:06
|
|
|
That game owned.
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 02:07
|
|
|
The last fifteen minutes of that game owned. The only thing missing was that last-gasp header by Hamid going in. (also I hope Luke Mishu is like 19 because otherwise that performance was a disaster and he should be fired into the sun.)
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 02:27
|
|
|
i love my bad, gay team
|
|
#
?
Sep 2, 2016 17:29
|
|
|
National broadcasts not on MLS Live: September 9 Sporting Kansas City vs. Houston (UniMás)  Red Bull New York vs. D.C. United (ESPN) Los Angeles vs. Orlando City (FS1) September 16 Chicago vs. D.C. United (UniMás) September 18 (Note: you will only get one game, depending on your NFL game. Both games will stream on Fox Sports Go.) Sporting Kansas City vs. Los Angeles (Fox) Toronto vs. Red Bull New York (Fox) September 23 New York City vs. Chicago (UniMás) September 25 Los Angeles vs. Seattle (ESPN) Columbus vs. New England (FS1) September 30 Houston vs. New York City (UniMás)
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2016 02:25
|
|
|
MLS Live hasn't been blacking out national broadcasts on my Apple TV. It's been great and I'm gonna be really mad when they eventually fix it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 3, 2016 02:55
|
|
|
Oh, hey, yeah, forgot it was September. Anyway all my team's strikers are injured or suck or are teenagers and our season probably ends tonight so yay.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 01:30
|
|
|
Grella out for the big 9/11 game, which about makes our loss of Acosta for the same accumulation a fairly even trade.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 01:42
|
|
|
Time to continue my bitching in this thread.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 01:48
|
|
|
Hairston for LeToux? Works for me. LeToux hasn't done much.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 01:53
|
|
|
Union are bad. Water is wet. Kill me.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:00
|
|
|
Ball right through the box from Cronin, rolls right past Doyle and Badji and nothing comes of it. Still 2-0 at 69'.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:05
|
|
|
Chicago player shanks the ball into his own hand which was funny and then the Union almost OG again, hooray.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:18
|
|
|
20 minutes later the Rapids have done gently caress-all and are likely going to lose 2-0. Supporters shield? Gone. Edit - yup lost 2-0. Smh. TheBoyBlunder fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Sep 4, 2016 |
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:27
|
|
|
we won
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:34
|
|
|
Portland v Dallas first half has featured some ugly rear end soccer. Except Ulloa.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:57
|
|
|
Chicago are winning and not doing the sit back like idiots thing. It's weird and good.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 02:57
|
|
|
Chicago's offense is...good? And Sean Johnson is still loving great. 
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:07
|
|
|
Sigh. Union unioning
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:09
|
|
|
Should be 3-0. I like it when Chicago doesn't make me wanna break poo poo in my house.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:19
|
|
|
it is 3-0
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:25
|
|
|
It is. I like this Alvarez kid.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:26
|
|
|
Paddyb posted:It is. I like this Alvarez kid. He's better than Nick LaBrocca at least.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:30
|
|
|
Hello Towel posted:He's better than Nick LaBrocca at least. As someone who witnessed plenty of Nick LaBrocca, who isnt?
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 03:49
|
|
|
FC Dallas is winning games and I like that. That's my hot take, thanks for taking my call.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 06:49
|
|
|
TheBoyBlunder posted:As someone who witnessed plenty of Nick LaBrocca, who isnt? Nery Castillo
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 07:28
|
|
|
Seltzer posted:we won You did! I would say you shouldn't have, but no team that starts Erik Hurtado as a lone striker deserves to win anything regardless of how well they otherwise play that night. There are some crimes that the soccer gods cannot forgive.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 15:55
|
|
|
We were due a road win after all the terrible terrible luck we've had this year. I was going to complain about us losing Kljestan and Lawrence but then I saw Vancouver lost like 6 players for the break.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 15:59
|
|
|
Vancouver has completely fallen off this year. They've still got an incredible GK in Ousted, but they've got an attack-ish-minded setup when they can't attack. Like, even if you turtled into Olsenaccio, your ceiling is just sneaking into the playoffs. I still feel bad about that Espindola trade. Whitecaps fan I met when they came to town was all Thanks For The Goalscorer! and I had to tell him the horrible news. And THEN he refused to go to Canada.
|
|
#
?
Sep 4, 2016 17:22
|
|
|
Your Boy Fancy posted:Vancouver has completely fallen off this year. They've still got an incredible GK in Ousted, but they've got an attack-ish-minded setup when they can't attack. Like, even if you turtled into Olsenaccio, your ceiling is just sneaking into the playoffs. If I were asked to name all the teams in MLS in 2 minutes, I bet Vancouver would be the one I miss. They're just totally off my radar.
|
|
#
?
Sep 5, 2016 15:29
|
|
|
What the hell has happened to Colorado since like July? Our midfield isn't clicking anymore and shots just aren't' going through.
|
|
#
?
Sep 5, 2016 22:36
|
|
|
LionYeti posted:What the hell has happened to Colorado since like July? Our midfield isn't clicking anymore and shots just aren't' going through. Jermaine Jones is an MLS talisman
|
|
#
?
Sep 5, 2016 22:43
|
|
|
Orlando can get back into the playoffs tonight if they figure out how to get their second road win of the year.
|
|
#
?
Sep 7, 2016 16:38
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 14:03 |
|
|
Well, they have Cyle Larin back for the next couple of seasons, so that can't hurt. Hey, remember when Brek Shea was supposed to be the next big American player?
|
|
#
?
Sep 7, 2016 17:52
|
|