Which Side of The Toilet Paper Do You Use First?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Which Side of The Toilet Paper Do You Use First?

«‹›2 »

Which Side of the Toilet Paper Do You use First
	Inside
	Outside

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

I like to start with the inside side. No good reason, just habit really. What do you Goons do?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 3, 2024 01:56

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

.... toilet paper?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:32

Sponge Baathist: Jan 30, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

the side covered in poo poo

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:53

Neutrino: Mar 8, 2006; Fallen Rib

I use the edge because I'm edgy.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:55

Tonsured: Jan 14, 2005; I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?

I dab a bit of unicorn jizz on each sheet square, enscribe do i a perfect circle of glinting silver as my target and make sure my will is done, as the lord's and my toilet wipe is perfect, a harmonious imitation of how I imagine god himself must wipes his rear end

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:02

Unctuous Cretin: Jun 20, 2007; LUrker

The rough side is for "collection" and the smooth side is for "polishing." I feel like I'm explaining this to coworkers biweekly.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:10

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Unctuous Cretin posted:

The rough side is for "collection" and the smooth side is for "polishing." I feel like I'm explaining this to coworkers biweekly.

Wait there is actually a difference in texture between the two sides? My mind is blown.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:13

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Unctuous Cretin posted:

The rough side is for "collection" and the smooth side is for "polishing." I feel like I'm explaining this to coworkers biweekly.

how often does this conversation come up

do you work at a nursery for retarded bear cubs or something

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:14

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

But both sides are the same???

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:14

Unctuous Cretin: Jun 20, 2007; LUrker

hth posted:

how often does this conversation come up

do you work at a nursery for retarded bear cubs or something

Biweekly, at least. I work in "distribution."

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:16

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

I use the side that says gently caress YOU and has a picture of the OP's mom on it.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:27

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

there should be a rough side and a smooth side
you're to use the rough side to clean yourself
if you have lovely paper that doesnt do this i feel bad for your rear end

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:29

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

I wrap it around my finger and gently caress my butthole clean

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:30

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Bert Roberge posted:

I use the side that says gently caress YOU and has a picture of the OP's mom on it.

Very rude, Bert Roberge

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:30

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

you people reuse toilet paper after the first swipe? are you really that poor?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 17:48

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

side?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:11

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

how could you not know about the two-grit paper?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:13

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

Outside. Don't you dare look at me, bitch. You face the toilet while I use you.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:13

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

sheryl crow posted:

only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:20

Tite Barnacle: Jun 4, 2014; Meowdy Purrdner; Grimey Drawer

I use the help wanted side first, then the box scores if necessary

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:24

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

Toilet paper is for animals OP

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:26

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

I use the side with the little bumps on the paper. When I'm done, I rinse it, hang it on the towel rack and let it dry for the next bowel movement. Saves a ton of money.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:40

Traxis: Jul 2, 2006

ROFLburger posted:

you people reuse toilet paper after the first swipe? are you really that poor?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:50

Traxis: Jul 2, 2006

the more important question is do you sit or stand to wipe

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:51

RatHat: Dec 31, 2007; A tiny behatted rat👒🐀!

I don't know, I don't keep track because I'm not a crazy person.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 18:52

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

Traxis posted:

the more important question is do you sit or stand to wipe

Do a squat. Cheeks spread better.

RatHat posted:

I don't know, I don't keep track because I'm not a crazy person.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 19:12

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

The tube

# ? Sep 8, 2016 19:18

readingatwork: Jan 8, 2009; Hello Fatty!; Fun Shoe

I use a fistful of leaves THE WAY GOD INTENDED.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 19:42

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

The edge

# ? Sep 8, 2016 19:43

penus penus penus: Nov 9, 2014; by piss__donald

I ball it up into a giant wad and wipe the poo poo out of my rear end. Then I toss it in the toilet. I dont want to "reuse" the same wad because I dont want to touch poo poo. But, I don't have a dainty butthole so I always buy the rolls with 9 billion sheets on them so that I'm not being particularly wasteful and one roll lasts a while.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:29

texasmed: May 27, 2004

i prefer the white part but normally it's easier to just leave it on the roll and stick the whole thing up my rear end

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:31

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:35

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

I twist it into a mobius strip and drape it over the toothbrush holder to finish using later.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:40

MiracleWhale: Jun 30, 2015

i just take off the white paper wrapper and let the cardboard do its job

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:02

Ewan: Sep 29, 2008; Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD

Inside and outside? Bog roll in the UK is the same on both sides... Once you;ve taken it off and folded it both sides are identical and I have no clue which was "inside" or "outside".

(I sit & lean btw, it's the only way, but it does eventually lead to toilet seat breakage as the hinges slip left/right every time you lean).

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:09

ElectricSheep: Jan 14, 2006; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

I go flaccid, bend my dilz backwards and give myself a urine bidet

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:13

drunkelberger: Jun 8, 2014

After I poop I stand up and bend over, facing the toilet, I thread the toilet paper between my legs and then around my back and over the shoulder and just ducking pull until I'm done wiping

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:15

fuck the ROW: Aug 29, 2008; by zen death robot

The more appropriate question is WHOSE side of the toiler paper im using OP

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:16

yogizh: Oct 12, 2015; Dumb Helicopter Joke Enthusiast

I use a good colourless, odourless toilet paper where both sides are the same. It a is a good Slavic paper for true men who don't like to have brown stains on their Adidas underwear. :ussr:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 3, 2024 01:56

KennyLoggins: Dec 3, 2004; Welcome to the Danger Zone

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:31

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Which Side of The Toilet Paper Do You Use First?

«‹›2 »