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I had sex with her and apparently that's where babies come from because now she's all pregnant. What do I do? Do I start buying diapers right now? I hear they poo poo and piss constantly and try to murder themselves when they aren't pissing or making GBS threads. Is that true? Here is a picture of a baby to help you visualize what I'm getting into: 
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Sep 8, 2016 18:26
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run
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Sep 8, 2016 18:26
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Thanks for raising my kid.
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Sep 8, 2016 18:27
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Make a secret slush fund for your inevitable divorce and massive child support payments you'll be making for 16+ years.
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Sep 8, 2016 18:27
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Do you have stairs in your house?
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Sep 8, 2016 18:27
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Kuato posted:Make a secret slush fund for your inevitable divorce and massive child support payments you'll be making for 16+ years.
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Sep 8, 2016 18:32
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oh boy another forums babby
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Sep 8, 2016 18:33
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you can silence them from crying by shaking them
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Sep 8, 2016 18:34
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abort before you lose all your time and money and happiness
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Sep 8, 2016 18:35
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You will never sleep again.
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Sep 8, 2016 18:35
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shoophobo posted:oh boy another forums babby ~a successful and official insemination~
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Sep 8, 2016 18:36
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You're going to be a great parent, man who spent 10 dollars to post on an internet forum
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Sep 8, 2016 18:37
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get the hell out of there
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Sep 8, 2016 18:38
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same here OP, btw ask your wife if she saw my Joe Biden pez dispenser laying around, I think it fell out of my pocket
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Sep 8, 2016 18:39
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just let it all happen, op. your life will end soon
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Sep 8, 2016 18:40
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You can sex her again at least one more time. Because she's pregnant, you know she has sex. Plus you don't need to wear a condom because you (probably) can't get her more pregnant!
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Sep 8, 2016 18:40
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Why did you have to fill her belly with your seed OP ? Pull out you dumbass
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Sep 8, 2016 18:46
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Decebal posted:Why did you have to fill her belly with your seed OP ? Pull out you dumbass Don't cum on the sheets though!
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Sep 8, 2016 18:51
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Sep 8, 2016 18:52
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Do you have stairs in your house? e: Dammit!
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Sep 8, 2016 18:52
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Bacon Taco posted:You can sex her again at least one more time. Because she's pregnant, you know she has sex. Plus you don't need to wear a condom because you (probably) can't get her more pregnant! lmao somebody hasn't seen TLC's Babies Having Babies
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Sep 8, 2016 18:55
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Were you spermjacked OP ?? I read on the Internet that greedy/impatient women might do that to absorb your manly vigor and thus shorten your life and extend theirs !!! (life expectancy statistics have proven this)
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Sep 8, 2016 18:57
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Decebal posted:Were you spermjacked OP ?? I read on the Internet that greedy/impatient women might do that to absorb your manly vigor and thus shorten your life and extend theirs !!! (life expectancy statistics have proven this) PREACH
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Sep 8, 2016 19:08
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I have never had kids and I am the only one of my friends who is not broke, miserable, or both. Plus I have a boat. You do the math.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:11
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LegoPirateNinja posted:just let it all happen, op. your life will end soon My life exists infinitely in this time range LegoPirateNinja. Decebal posted:Were you spermjacked OP ?? I read on the Internet that greedy/impatient women might do that to absorb your manly vigor and thus shorten your life and extend theirs !!! (life expectancy statistics have proven this) She got drunk and was blowing a load on my rod while my rod was blowing a load in that snatch. It's all part of a pop-up childrens book I'm making of the night we hosed and made a baby. JakeP posted:same here OP, btw ask your wife if she saw my Joe Biden pez dispenser laying around, I think it fell out of my pocket If you hosed my wife I get to gently caress your hand. It's only fair.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:25
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i hope your kid likes beans in his chili
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Sep 8, 2016 19:26
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now you must seek out a new woman to impregnate
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Sep 8, 2016 19:32
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now boink your wife's dad
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Sep 8, 2016 19:32
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Dave_Indeed posted:
Thats fine, I charge $19, but i do early bird specials for $11 until 4
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Sep 8, 2016 19:50
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You should let her give birth on a boat, those things make the best shark bait. You won't even need a bobber, a shark will hit that thing in a matter of minutes.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:57
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Dave_Indeed posted:
Future GBS superstar
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Sep 8, 2016 19:58
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Why didn't you inject her with some Depo-Provera OP ?! You can fill her to the brim with potent sperm for 3 months and still she will be as barren as rock !
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Sep 8, 2016 19:58
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You idiot
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Sep 8, 2016 20:01
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Seriously though you are incredibly fortunate. You've fulfilled your evolutionary purpose. You should drop some acid or shrooms or cactus (cactus is best) as a reward. You won't always exist, but at least now you will always exist. Assuming the kid is a poon-hound of course.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:07
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Seriously though you are incredibly fortunate. You've fulfilled your evolutionary purpose. You should drop some acid or shrooms or cactus (cactus is best) as a reward. You won't always exist, but at least now you will always exist. Assuming the kid is a poon-hound of course.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:08
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RetroMUFC posted:I have never had kids and I am the only one of my friends who is not broke, miserable, or both. Plus I have a boat. You do the math. same its nice having hobbies
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Sep 8, 2016 20:10
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It's not so bad. Life is so much simpler now that happiness is in your rear view mirror.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:10
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a hole-y ghost posted:I dropped a cactus in acid once and the result was very disappointing Here's how to enjoy cactus: Get a bunch of dried cactus flesh, last time I got it it was from naturalether.com, I don't know if they exist anymore but if they do give em a try before they get shut down. Get the Peruvian torch kind. Grind up the cactus into a powder if you didn't buy it pre-ground. Soak it in everclear several times, filtering through old t-shirts. Cook off the alcohol at a temperature below 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Scrape the green poo poo up and eat it. Take some Benadryl or other motion sickness drug beforehand. Eat all the disgusting, foul-tasting greenish-black goo. Throw up if you didn't take enough Benadryl. Experience cosmic revelations, infinite love, the absurdity of everything and nothing. Also watch Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. Preferably do all this while your wife is in labor.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:13
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Decebal posted:Why didn't you inject her with some Depo-Provera OP ?! You can fill her to the brim with potent sperm for 3 months and still she will be as barren as rock ! I tried but then she said that there wass no whey. Nigmaetcetera posted:Seriously though you are incredibly fortunate. You've fulfilled your evolutionary purpose. You should drop some acid or shrooms or cactus (cactus is best) as a reward. You won't always exist, but at least now you will always exist. Assuming the kid is a poon-hound of course. I always exist from 1984 to at least 2016. Time being linear is just something our poo poo brains do. Video games are correct, if you die you just start over at level 1.
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Sep 8, 2016 20:14
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Is telling you to kill your unborn child a probatable offense?
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Sep 8, 2016 20:14
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