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Johnny Walker posted:"You never know, web-face" Characters in Newspaper Spider-Man are... how should I put this... *leans in to whisper* ...a little slow.
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Apr 28, 2017 04:01
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"Peter, why are you so itchy lately? And what are these tiny bites you've got all over? "Oh no MJ, with all that time I spent near Rocket, you don't think..." NEXT: IN THE LAND OF THE FLEA
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Apr 28, 2017 04:15
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goatface posted:Spiderman needs skyscrapers to fight the Vulture. So only if they're going to spend all the time in a flat desert. Reminds me of this: 
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Apr 30, 2017 15:07
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Otherkinsey Scale posted:eaten by a raptor. Not if he lays the unconscious body of Gertrude in the raptor's arms.
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May 2, 2017 00:45
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I can accept a lot of crazy poo poo in comics but I'm supposed to believe MJ's a model-actress and doesn't know anybody in LA?
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May 2, 2017 02:29
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Having sex is unfortunately the one thing Newspaper Peter does extremely quickly.
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May 2, 2017 03:02
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Just realized that May showed up in May.
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May 2, 2017 03:15
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Synthbuttrange posted:The man who parked the car is called Parker. I guess this means MJ is gonna smoke some weed or turn into the King of Pop.
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May 2, 2017 03:30
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Ferrule posted:the movie studio paid for first class digs but not a plane ticket. "Peter, you look tense, what's wrong? You don't like flying?" "Spider-Sense tingling, MJ..." "Is it terrorists? One of your villains?" "No, they've overbooked and they're going to remove people from the plane!" NEXT: UNITED WE CAN'T STAND
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May 2, 2017 15:11
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Synthbuttrange posted:
"Hello, children!" Aunt Anna as voiced by Isaac Hayes.
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May 3, 2017 03:54
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Otherkinsey Scale posted:"I flew on a plane" is not an answer to "why are you here." Like if you went to the doctor and when they asked "what brings you in today" you said "I took the bus". "I see..." *doctor writes "PSYCH EVAL!!!" on his clipboard*
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May 3, 2017 12:25
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Unkempt posted:'Aunt Anna' my arse. Awesome. Also: Otto looks good in jewelry!
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May 3, 2017 21:23
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It looks like Mole Man to me.
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May 7, 2017 18:59
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Spider-Sense is future Peter Parker using his past self's nervous system to try to guide and warn him.
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May 11, 2017 01:48
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I wonder if at this point a program could write Newspaper Spider-Man, considering how much historical data there is in all the years of this strip.
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May 11, 2017 15:27
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Ferrule posted:Yes. And the company is currently crumbling. An even bigger one, too! It's one thing to be someone who never had much money but kept working and another to be on top of the world as a multi-millionaire and then go back down to being a regular schmoe because you couldn't handle it. Stark's been up and down a bunch of times but nobody ever expects him to stay down for long.
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May 16, 2017 18:13
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I think Superior Newspaper Spider-Man would be the same except stories would resolve faster. Blazingly fast, like in one week. And it would feel wrong and people would clamour for the return of the one, true hero.
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May 17, 2017 02:06
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Mole Man reminds me of this troll from Real Ghostbusters.
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May 17, 2017 16:45
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Peter could run a repair shop. Keeps him tinkering rather than Tony Stark-style inventing, makes the community a supporting cast, and leaves him with time and cover to be gone when he wants assuming he has partners or employees to run the shop in his stead. And it means he gets decent money rather than playboy riches or hobo destitution. May could be the cashier. Or Hobie Brown could be his business partner. You could even include a retcon and say Uncle Ben used to run one (before he was an electrician or whatever his job was...?) And there'd be all kinds of interesting comic book science stuff for him to solve. Like people's refrigerators are floating because of some recent supervillain in the area who  discharged focused gravitons or whatever.
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May 17, 2017 18:39
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SilverSupernova posted:Well, we have seen the man's abs. "His buttocks are sublime."  Also, check out the dude on the left being the original White Guy Blinking meme.
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May 17, 2017 18:46
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Lurdiak posted:I never got why that blinking guy became a meme, it's just a guy blinking. Because reaction gifs are popular and his expression was just exaggerated enough to be noticed and ambiguous enough that it could be used for surprise, indignation, or false indignation. Also it was only his face so there was no need to crop out other things or context. It was pretty versatile.
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May 17, 2017 19:05
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Is that the one with Jay Leno?
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May 18, 2017 14:02
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Push El Burrito posted:I always believed the Ultimate Nullifier contained the browsing history of Galactus. I imagine him being a big ol' peeping tom, peering through the sky at different worlds like a globe-sized King Kong looking through a window when he's on the side of a building. "Hey, is that someone behind the moon?" "Oh my god, I haven't told you. There's this creep in a purple Pope hat or something stalking me. I've called the cops but they say they can't do anything." "Typical."
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May 19, 2017 17:32
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I know about The Watcher(s) but he can watch from wherever. Omniscience or Rear Window-style spying isn't much of a sight gag.
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May 19, 2017 20:32
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A sequel released in theatres when the first film was only home release. That is loving comedy gold.
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May 21, 2017 18:42
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Zeeman posted:So it's a morning show, but with the set layout of a late night show Maureen has a late night show that lasts so long it transitions to a morning show. She sleeps during the day and has a drug problem
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May 21, 2017 19:21
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ZeroCount posted:Peter's been watching a known supervillain beat the poo poo out of a bunch of cops for a fair few strips now and has only just had the idea that Spiderman should probably stop this. He's out in LA. The West Coast Avengers should arrive any minute now.
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May 23, 2017 12:15
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run stand.exe *beep* *whirr* the humans must never know their beloved MaryJane is an automaton destination: stage right distance: 4.83 metres commence walking 
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May 24, 2017 17:34
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Ferrule posted:What is up with Maureen's hair? The Half-Wolverine is the hottest hairdo for women nowadays. 
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May 24, 2017 17:35
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"He won't hurt you unless you're cops!" "We are cops!" "Shhhh!"
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May 25, 2017 02:57
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:he was inevitably gonna team up with someone better at being a super hero than himself. it is kind of unexpected that it would be mole man, is all. Maybe this will be like the Dr. Octopus mind-swap story from the regular comics and Mole Man will become the Subterranean Spider-Man.
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May 28, 2017 13:27
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Dude with a sensitivity to light decides to hang out in California.
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May 30, 2017 12:21
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Peter majored in organic chemistry and minored in Roman history.
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Jun 3, 2017 04:35
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Lurdiak posted:That's definitely not how werewolves work. Pretty genius if you bank on lycanthropy being partially psychosomatic.
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Jun 3, 2017 13:48
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redbackground posted:Can Mole Man not just pick up and move his operation to like Mammoth Cave or some other dank shithole? There's not exactly a shortage of underground. You know the saying, "a man's hole is his cavern".
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Jun 6, 2017 14:38
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Alhazred posted:Why does Mole Man give a gently caress about Tyrannus conquering the surface world? Because what happens up above seeps or leaks down below. You've never heard of trickle down economics?
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Jun 6, 2017 18:02
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CommaToes posted:What I like about Newspaper Spider-Man is that Stan Lee is competently inept in writing this comic strip. Especially since he is the famed co-creator! It wouldn't be as appealing if the writer was just some random hiree. ZeroCount posted:Objective proof that Newspaper spiderman is the superior product The Superior Spider-Man, you say?
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Jun 6, 2017 20:37
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SilverSupernova posted:Didn't that event kick off with Otto learning that he's dying because Peter punched him in the head too much? And then decided to move in to Peter's head, which was somehow in better condition.
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Jun 7, 2017 00:30
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Synthbuttrange posted:
Aunt May is either plotting something nefarious or she's looking at Mole Man and is seriously DTF.
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Jun 7, 2017 01:46
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I'm liking that the thread title is relevant again as both a reference to the subterranean world and because Mole Man is so short. "Yo, Spider-Man! Down here!"Jerusalem posted:If cartoons taught me anything, it's that you conquer the world by taking over a single building/street in New York and then demanding that the world capitulate to your rule. What's the world gonna do? NOT hand over global authority and risk the loss of a New York building or street!?! In the real world you don't really have to occupy every single square inch of land of a country. As long as you capture and maintain the key institutions and infrastructure the rest of the world eventually recognizes you as the legitimate leader. So maybe just capture the UN Building, grab hold of the Internet, and play King of the Hill for a while until the world recognizes your global authority.
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Jun 7, 2017 15:48
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