New forums features? Also pro internet detective needed

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > New forums features? Also pro internet detective needed

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Gatekeeper posted:

i have a good idea (imo) for forums revenue: avatar pets

you pay extra to make your av a special animal that you design yourself, like in those videogames where you design a character, giving her nice pretty hair and cool eyes and a tan and ripped jeans, only it's a cute pet so you choose between pupp, kitten, fishscale, hissysnake, etc

once you got the deets selected, you can choose standard pet or bonus (extra $$$) animated response pet

you put your cursor over its head to pet it and it responds by cooing at you and maybe batting at the cursor w its paws or curling up around it. you pay extra money to have a better small friend. It just makes sense.

then other ppl can pay tiny amounts (like 50¢) to give it a lil treat and in return the pet does a nice trick for them it would be very cute

i could feed a tiny baby mouse to my friend nooner's snake, as for example, and it would unhinge it's jaws and eat it whole! i would pay for that.

But like all pets, it needs to eat or die. You can set up a recurring weekly debit of .99¢ or w/e to provide snakcs for your friend. Your forget about it after a while and wouldn't even notice it on your statement bc you are irresponsible with money (i'm talking of myself of course) so if you take a posting break to go to the hospital or spend some time out in the desert cleansing and getting your poo poo straighten out, you come back and your pet is ok! and you have been giving tiny bits of lifeblood to the best forums for posting with your friends that honestly I have ever seen

eventuLly this could be ramped up to include buying your pet toys or a lil hat, Halloween costume for Halloween, a sparkly bowl with their name on it for when you give it treats

Say you've taken a shine to a new poster and want to let everyone kniw "hands OfF! This one is mine!" you can buy them a pet and name it after yourself and keep them healthy and with lots of treats and presents, like a "sugar daddy" of pets, and everyone will see their pet and know it came from you and they won't gently caress around, I'm sure of it

Maybe eventually we can set it up so you can have multiple pets, a whole grumble of pugs or a lil snakepit of your own, you can scroll through them in your profile and pet them all

If you want to make money, lowtax and co., heed this good suggestion.