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I had pneumonia and would cough up thick black poo poo endlessly and pretty much wanted to die
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Sep 13, 2016 16:23
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Fell out of a plane.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:23
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Apparently I nearly died of an acute lung infection when I was three. Then a year later I almost bled out in my sleep from some messed up blood vessel situation in my nose, giving my poor dad ptsd from going in to wake me the next morning and discovering me unresponsive on a mattress soaked through with blood. As an adult the worst was probably last year when I got the hep from unintentionally consuming some chinese farmer's poo poo. It took ages to diagnose and really hosed me up because I caught a bad flu at the same time and was already run down from stress.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:27
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After being kept awake by pain for a whole weekend I projectile vomited all over the bathroom in the clinic, got hospitalised for a week and fed through intubation. I don't recommend it.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:31
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Moon Atari posted:Apparently I nearly died of an acute lung infection when I was three. Then a year later I almost bled out in my sleep from some messed up blood vessel situation in my nose, giving my poor dad ptsd from going in to wake me the next morning and discovering me unresponsive on a mattress soaked through with blood. As an adult the worst was probably last year when I got the hep from unintentionally consuming some chinese farmer's poo poo. It took ages to diagnose and really hosed me up because I caught a bad flu at the same time and was already run down from stress. My dad walked into my room one morning to find me covered in blood. I was rushed the ER at the children's hospital where the deduced that it wasn't blood, it was puke that was dark red from the hot dog and fries with ketchup I'd had the night before. Turns out I had an asthma attack in my sleep and cough so hard I expelled the contents of my stomach! Sickest I've ever been though was when I had H1N1 and strep throat at the same time. I had to spend two days in the hospital on IV fluids because I couldn't swallow anything and my hallucination inducing fever wouldn't go down. Also, it was August 2009, so just when the paranoia about H1N1 was ramping up and everyone had to wear masks if they came near me. When I first showed up sick at my GPs office, she talked to me for 20 seconds, turned around and left, then came back in wearing a gown, a mask, and one of those plastic face guard things.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:38
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coughed up brown snot constantly for ~4 weeks
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Sep 13, 2016 16:41
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Gastritis was not fun, but that's how you learn drinking two bottles of tequila in the space of a couple of hours is a loving stupid endeavour.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:42
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one time i 50/50 nose grinded a ten stair was pretty sick
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Sep 13, 2016 16:44
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I was hospitalized and needed invasive surgery to take care of a very bad case of MRSA because the antibiotics they gave me were completely ineffective.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:44
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When my friends started quoting my the singularity and becoming beings of infinite light. lol Omega point. Like it stops. I dunno if I'll ever be healthy around minds like these
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Sep 13, 2016 16:45
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invest in me or immortality I don't care as long as money mine
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Sep 13, 2016 16:47
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I had swine flu and no insurance. The first time I had Pho it made me have diarrhea the next day and I sharted myself at work. (Got to leave early, very bittersweet)
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Sep 13, 2016 16:50
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I had swine flu with insurance and a diagnosis and my professor still failed me out of a test for being absent, even with documentation and an honest intent not to give everyone my sickness. See, I was healthy here in a moral sense at least. Bet you feel petty next to my magnificence Gay Weed Dad posted:I had swine flu and no insurance.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:52
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I have near crippling arthritis in my left leg joints, I'm 32 years old.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:53
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One time I ate a lot of sugar free candy, don't do this.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:56
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Munnin The Crab posted:One time I ate a lot of sugar free candy, don't do this. This is the best way to quickly lose that pesky water weight.
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Sep 13, 2016 16:59
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I poo poo myself and then after seeing the poo poo I puked all over myself then slipped on my puke and hurt my tailbone which made me poo poo even more and then I even pissed a little bit too while puking and making GBS threads and then my nipples started lactating and I got really horny so I started rubbing poo poo and vomit all over my dick and then came and peed all over myself and puked and poo poo and vomit and puss and piss and jizz and oval office. I'm just your average sick goon.
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Sep 13, 2016 17:00
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Tonsured posted:I had swine flu with insurance and a diagnosis and my professor still failed me out of a test for being absent, even with documentation and an honest intent not to give everyone my sickness. See, I was healthy here in a moral sense at least. Bet you feel petty next to my magnificence Because of the college, or the insurance? Either way; yes! :/
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Sep 13, 2016 17:01
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i pooped my pants
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Sep 13, 2016 17:02
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The guy at the ER joked that they were going to run out of vomit basins for me.
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Sep 13, 2016 17:17
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I had viral pneumonia ten years ago.
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Sep 13, 2016 17:19
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ultrabindu posted:I have near crippling arthritis in my left leg joints, I'm 32 years old. which joints and how did that happen?
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Sep 13, 2016 17:19
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Zorodius posted:The guy at the ER joked that they were going to run out of vomit basins for me. haha that's Jerry for ya, what a card
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Sep 13, 2016 17:19
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orange pee and green jizz
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Sep 13, 2016 17:20
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as a young boy i had a fever of 105 and hallucinated/day dreamed the whole time, then at about 4 am an earthquake hit the hotel we were staying in, the name of that earthquake was northridge, and i never went back to california again
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Sep 13, 2016 17:25
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YeahTubaMike posted:I once had period cramps so bad that I spent the entire day vomiting in bed, and when the pain abruptly stopped for a couple of seconds, I was pretty sure I had died Same but every single month
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Sep 13, 2016 17:26
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My rear end and face traded places on the toilet, sometimes without flushing, for three straight days after food poisoning.
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Sep 13, 2016 17:30
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Munnin The Crab posted:One time I ate a lot of sugar free candy, don't do this. Yeah don't do that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMjgaa5j_LE
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Sep 13, 2016 17:32
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You have an unfair advantage sir
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Sep 13, 2016 17:39
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El Golden Goose posted:I registered for a somethingawful forums account.
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Sep 13, 2016 17:39
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Yesterday i had some seemingly harmless fried rice but ive been making GBS threads liquid every hour since 2am; its not the sickest ive been but thought u would like to know op!
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Sep 13, 2016 17:39
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making GBS threads and vomiting with some flu thing or food poisoning one night The toilet was close enough to the shower I just leaned over and vomited into it
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Sep 13, 2016 17:41
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long story short, I bit several nurses and at least one paramedic and had to be strapped down in the bed for crazy people for an evening
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Sep 13, 2016 17:50
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Horrible sinus infection and then somehow got an eye infection at the same time that like pasted my eyes shut after I slept hosed up for a while
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Sep 13, 2016 17:51
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I found out my body doesn't respond well to oxycodone after spending a day and a half unable to stand up on my own and vomiting blood.
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Sep 13, 2016 18:32
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Any time I get sick I just erupt with vomit and diarrhea. I'll just be sitting at my desk, sneeze, and suddenly a torrent of vomit and diarrhea spray out of my pores.
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Sep 13, 2016 18:35
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Shits that set off the smoke detector.
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Sep 13, 2016 19:02
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Accidentally mixing hydrocodone with benadryl ... On top of the fact I was actually sick
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Sep 13, 2016 19:03
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Bacterial infection in my brain that caused me to miss 3 months of first grade because I'd puke up about 3/4 of my meals and could barely stand up, let alone walk and I was basically a skeleton by the time I finally got rid of it.
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Sep 13, 2016 19:17
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:Yeah don't do that lol at the empty toilet roll when he pukes, got nothing to wipe with when he shits his guts out
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Sep 13, 2016 19:24
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