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Hello and Welcome to the SomethingAwful.com Ask/Tell Martial Arts thread. This thread is for people curious about starting a martial art, as well as general MA discussion Why Should I, a Goon, enroll in a martial art? r.y.f.s.o. posted:I was a bit of a tubbo, 6'0" and 215, but I was definitely lacking in anything resembling muscle from years of lifting nothing heavier than a notebook and my fingers to type on it. I got sick of feeling like a wet noodle constantly and chose BJJ / Muay Thai in the hope it would beat the fear and fat out of me, and it did. Fontoyn posted:Also, pump yourself up. poo poo like: "this motherfucker can't do poo poo to my butt" relaxes and psyches me up. You don't have to be strong or fast or tough to start a martial art. Actually, starting one will make you stronger faster and tougher than you probably thought possible. Read this OP, read the thread and get going! I am new to martial arts, what should I do? First, read this quote on Martial Arts for Self Defense: Mechafunkzilla posted:There is no martial art where the basics can be "grasped decently" in a short amount of time such that it would actually help you. It's all about internalizing the movements until they become second nature, tons of repetition, and lots and lots of sparring. The only way you can ever really become proficient at any concept or technique is to use it in sparring against a resisting opponent. That's why many martial arts don't work. Anything that claims to teach you actually useful self-defense skills in a few days or weeks and isn't called "how to buy running shoes that fit" is bullshit. Even if the techniques are sound, showing them to people who won't practice them for a few months is just setting them up to get stabbed to death when they try to fight someone instead of run away. Second: Knowing how to fight and knowing self-defense are not the same thing. They are in fact, often completely opposite goals: fighting is about winning, self-defense about surviving. The number 1 self-defense technique is: don't get into bad situations. quote:My friend got jumped by three people outside a strip club at 3 am. He just got a few bruises but he asked what I would have done, as a martial artist. I told him: I wouldn't hang out in a strip club parking lot at 3 am! This is a nice article on realistic self defense: https://www.samharris.org/blog/item/the-truth-about-violence And here is a goon-original that should remove anything "sexy" about fighting in the street https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3790003&pagenumber=123&perpage=40#post507906138 Third Dont Wait to Start! Gyms will train anyone that can shuffle through their door, they won't judge or turn you away. There are a lot of stone cold bad asses that started super out of shape. You don't need to workout 6 weeks or do anything to prepare, just show up and do what you can as much as you can! How do I select a Martial Art and Gym/Dojo/Academy? You should sample as many different styles and places as feasible. Most gyms have a free trial day at minimum, and are always happy to show around new people. Find a place where you feel comfortable and where the environment is supportive and safety minded. Remember, you will be going to and from this place a lot, often after or before your real job or life focus. Travel logistics are non-trivial. Pick a place you will actually attend over a more prestigious gym that is far away. What to Avoid There are some things you really just want to avoid, no matter what you're looking for in a style. Now, please remember these are not hard/fast rules. You might find reputable gyms with long term contracts. And maybe, just maybe you do have a 6th degree master black belt down the block. 1) No free introductory lesson or "try before you buy option". Any legitimate school should be perfectly happy to have someone drop by and check out the atmosphere, as well as offer some form of introductory class. 2) high pressure sales. if you feel like you're talking to a used car salesman, look for the door. 3) Ridiculous rankings: Yes you might be lucky enough to live close to a 7th dan, but if google does not turn up 5 pages featuring their name, it's probably bogus. Anyone claiming to have multiple high level black belts or any level of black belt over 3 or 4 should merit close scrutiny. Remember, anyone can get a black belt http://www.amazon.com/Shihan-Karate-Belt-BLACK-300cm/dp/B003EH3MHE/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1304439407&sr=8-9 4) Insane claims: Spirit Magic Chi bombs, one touch KO power, death touches, bullet dodging. There is a reason you don't see anyone, ever, doing these things outside of their carefully constructed environment/scenario. They are a fantasy. 
Xguard86 fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Sep 8, 2020 |
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Sep 13, 2016 15:56
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Kekekela posted:I like that this OP gets right down to the stuff that got asked billions of times in the last thread and is deserving of 5 stars, although perhaps it would've been more courageous to take a stand on throwing guys into the scorers table. I.a. should the throw maintain an amplitude such that uke's body lands a top the table an ippon shall be granted and the match declared over. I.b. should the throw fail to attain said amplitude Tori will be declared "a school yard bitch" and the match shall be declared nolo contendere.
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Sep 13, 2016 19:26
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Kekekela posted:This is an unholy marriage you see more and more of these days in BJJ as well. It's hard to blame people when you're trying to run a profitable business and those tactics are proven successful. While being a good teacher and nothing else generally leads to failure.
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Sep 14, 2016 13:14
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Kashuno posted:I'm intrigued by learning some martial arts now that I've started losing weight and am a bit more healthy. One thing I'm worried about is that I have a pretty bad knee from being hit by a car when I was a teenager. Are there any specific martial arts I should avoid if my knee isn't particularly great? It's mostly going to be about a place that is safety minded and teaching proper fundamentals. And your awareness of your body /willingness to stop or do outside class prehab work to keep it strong.
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Sep 14, 2016 19:07
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Personally I agree but if the instruction is legit I can't fault someone for trying to maximize their income. I had a bjj instructor that was very similar and his argument was that he took the same time learning his craft as a doctor or dentist, why shouldn't he seek similar compensation? He also lived with his dad into his late twenties and started his academy from a garage. So, hard to say he hasn't paid his dues. I stayed away from the grimier hard selling aspects of that gym but being around enough to see his pov gives me a lot more empathy. You also knew he wasn't going to up and skip town one day, which I've heard happening more than once with more relaxed teachers.
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Sep 14, 2016 20:27
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Yeah right, dude was for sure trying to punk you.
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Sep 15, 2016 22:42
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Kekekela posted:I'm sure it varies, but the fuckhead I went to the first time I got it wouldn't even drain it for me, he wanted to send me to a plastic surgeon. It all depends on what they're comfortable with. I would imagine he was worried he would mess it up and you could end up worse with a bad ear or no ear and he would have a lawsuit. In my experience there is often a doctor or nurse who trains that knows the procedure and everyone just goes to them.
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Sep 18, 2016 14:10
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DarthJeebus posted:I am seriously considering taking some MA classes, and a big reason is because they scare me shitless, and I want to learn discipline in the face of adversity. I feel the need to be pushed far outside my comfort zone and I can't think of a better or more direct way to do it. Thinking about BJJ classes in my area because I don't want to get punched in the face intentionally. Good enough reasoning? I am a skinny fat goony goon and I feel embarrassed even thinking about it. go! do it!
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Sep 20, 2016 14:03
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Agean90 posted:Been looking at nearby places where I'm at. Looking at either a bjj place or a 'modern arnis' place which is apparently Filipino stick fighting which was fun as hell when I did it long ago. Anybody hear anything about it? We had a weapons seminar kinda just for a lark at my old bjj school. It was really basic escrima or really similar. We even did the sharpie knife with old clothes drill to learn how murderous that poo poo is when you're really going for each other. From what I understand it's hard to find schools especially with good training practices.
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Sep 21, 2016 18:50
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Decades posted:The one cool thing I remember from my one FMA style knife/stick fighting lesson is to aim to cut under the arm pit of the dominant hand so that you simultaneously disable your opponent and cause a pretty grave wound. The associated drill we did was actually a whole lot like Wing Chun drills. Anyway I think that and much more importantly "never get in a knife fight" is enough knife fighting knowledge for one lifetime. Lol I remember that too, jesus. Like guys were trying to arm drag one side and stab the other side arm pit.
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Sep 21, 2016 20:12
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CommonShore posted:You won't be sparring right away anyway. If they put you in the ring on day 1 (or even month 1), get out. This. I tried boxing at a very serious gym and they wouldn't let me near the ring for a month and then it was only jabbing drills for another 2. They were very very serious about me never getting in without my my coach and someone he selected as a safe partner. I even got a very stern talking to because I snuck in for some rounds with a bigger more experienced guy I knew from my bjj gym. I could tell they kinda liked that too though, gotta have some dumb in you I guess.
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Sep 22, 2016 17:19
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i don't really understand the jack slack hate. Like of course sometimes people get hit reeel herd. But how interesting is that to read about? I've found his content interesting and unique. Its strangely difficult to find technical striking analysis online that isn't only "compubox showed he jabbed a lot" or "you see the centerline chi has the follow characteristics -faaaart-".
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Sep 22, 2016 21:54
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KildarX posted:It looked like the arm hyper extended at the very least. yeah she might have broken it on the extension. As draculino once said: "I have seen guys fight with broken arms, I never see any - body fight asleep"
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Sep 23, 2016 19:49
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Weave so low your rear end touches the canvas and then knock him right in the snot box with a stupendous uppercut right hook combination.
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Oct 15, 2016 21:11
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Grandmaster.flv posted:Does stuff like that happen often in capoeira? I did a little post bjj capoeria and the expectation was: if you don't move - you get hit. Everything was slow and telegraphed since we were all beginners, so it didn't take sweet pea level movement to keep safe. Regardless a few people took a good whack because they just kinda froze up while a wheel kick glided towards their head. Then they looked all shocked and hurt. The Mestre kinda shrugged and said keep going. Was a good time. Not saying you froze up sounds like you guys were about 10x the level we ever reached. I can see how poo poo can happen, it's so dynamic.
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Oct 18, 2016 03:37
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Rationale posted:'re: foot placement. posts GGG .gifs in endless waves.
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Nov 15, 2016 16:25
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ManOfTheYear posted:Do you guys do any conditioning for grappling? 6 minute rolling sessions destroy me and no-gi stuff is so explosive I'm short of breath after few minutes. Wondering if there are any effective routiunes i could do when I'm not able to go to grappling/bjj. For some reason gi stuff is much easier fitness-wise. kinda no kinda yes. Any HIIT type stuff works. Kettlebells are decent too. But really, it's less your raw conditioning and more getting the body accustomed to the movements. Like swinging a golf club or learning to swim. And the only way to do that is: hi liter posted:Do more grappling.
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Nov 29, 2016 17:44
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Professional million dollar coaches haven't totally solved this problem, so making big declarative statements seems a little much. We've had some pretty serious sports science people post here in the past. Hoping one of them might pass through to lay some knowledge on us.
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Nov 30, 2016 02:09
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Liquid Communism posted:Wasn't the whole point of Rocky as a boxer that he was just too dumb and tough to quit? He wasn't supposed to be a Tyson-style punching machine, just that dumb rear end in a top hat with the curled lip who you could beat on like a brick wall with just as much chance of knocking it out. and he was a lefty. Good luck figuring that poo poo out.
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Dec 1, 2016 17:26
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its very hard to break the arm if you do it wrong and pretty easy (in effort) if you do it right. But as Draculino says: "I've seen a guy fight with'a broken arm. I never see a guy fight asleep"
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Jan 4, 2017 17:32
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Wangsbig posted:i start my street fights off with a bow to my opponent, the audience, and a framed picture of grandmaster helio gracie that I carry around with me. i do not butt scoot, pull guard, reap the knee, or go for heel hooks. you tell me if that's honor. Every time someone attacks my legs I sneer "suburban tactics" and destroy them.
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Jan 12, 2017 04:50
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02-6611-0142-1 posted:Hey I got all my dentistry finished which means I can go back to wearing a stupid custom mouthguard I think "MOUTH" is pretty good but Is "JesusDidntTap" too long or something?
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Feb 3, 2017 14:33
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There are always diamonds in the rough. I trained "tkd" at a place that happily taught me how to leg kick and throw a stiff jab alongside typical tkd touch sparring stuff without talking about it as any different. One BB was always like: " yeah it's good to go for the head tap kicks in sparring but if it's like a real life scenario you should probably just hammer them in the thigh and then run off" I think it was more prevalent pre UFC and Internet, I think now there is a more obvious divide. Re being a girl: idk people can be weird about it because they are creeps or they can be weird because they don't want to be weird about it. It's hard to really say what to do without being there. Can you share some of the moments?
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Feb 3, 2017 23:23
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Pryor on Fire posted:Is there a brand of hand wraps that don't fall apart after two weeks of use? How are you cleaning them? I've used four pair on and off for years and they're OK.
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Feb 5, 2017 18:52
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I used ringside, the Mexican style with thumb hooks and I think more flexible synthetic fiber in the weave than normal. Idk they held up well under the same washing routine for six months before I stowed them to go back to BJJ.
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Feb 5, 2017 19:31
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CommonShore posted:
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Feb 7, 2017 20:29
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Novum posted:This except I use chi bullets This except I fall onto my back and progressively smother them over 36 minutes.
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Feb 15, 2017 19:57
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The weird / interesting thing about tai chi is that a lot of fighting/body mechanics are in there, just not applied to any direct mechanism. So yeah it's like you retire from fighting but still want to do something kinda similar. Or maybe off day training like pilates and dancing. Aikido is like that too but often insists it's all going to work. Versus admitting it's all esoteric deconstructed judo. Which is quite cool if you take it for what it is but most people don't.
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Feb 21, 2017 16:35
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spiralbrain posted:Judging how sore (my whole body) I got after Saturdays mat time, I think this sport very quickly weeds the people out that aren't committed. a sore body and that a 130 pound lawyer with bad posture can legitimately hold someone down and tell them to stop hitting yourself. Hard to face some cold realities.
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Feb 21, 2017 20:29
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kimbo305 posted:What are the best videos showing proper aikido sparring and drilling? yes.
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Feb 22, 2017 00:09
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Novum posted:Judo is literally everything an aikidoka always says aikido is in these threads except its better in every way i can think of He tripped, officer.
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Feb 22, 2017 03:11
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I personally believe that being 6ft or over and 200+ lbs should not only disqualify you from discussion but also, you should be turned away from any and all martial arts gyms.
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Feb 22, 2017 17:33
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I'm cool with ippon BJJ but the only way I'm allowing pins is if you must secure your opponent, retrieve the washable marker hidden in your kimono, and imaginary kill them with red ink. Wooden short sword covered in lipstick will be substituted for nationals and worlds. Also: one time back in aikido days I did some ground work with an old judo black belt. For fun, He had actually worked out some hakama (the dress) based submissions and positions. Cool and terrifying! So, we need to allow the full range of grapple clothes. I want to drape my flowing robes Round some fools shoulders and strangle him like an octopus.
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Feb 23, 2017 22:43
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Wrist locks from bottom are hard to finish but you can weaken posture and move people with them. Which is cool when you're not particularly strong. On that topic... CommonShore posted:Heh the Aikido apologist I know IRL is like 6'5" and 250 lb. +1 This is the biggest thing that turned me against Aikido (which I trained in a few years, even!). Big strong guys could execute stuff, but for my bird body... it never worked out. The few times I was bigger than my training partner, well then I could run through the whole roster. I know big guys will say: "well there is someone even bigger at my gym and etc. etc." but I promise it is almost never the same being 225 vs 260 and 165 vs 200. After a certain size, it is pretty rare to see the commensurate increases in strength per lb you see sub 200. Also, for absolutely giant people to have enough speed/balance/dexterity to really use anything is rare as hell. The only things I could make work consistently were things taught by our ex-Judo and even ex-kickboxing black belts. AKA: guys with real life competitive experience teaching basically techniques from their old backgrounds in a different context. So i decided I was better off spending time just doing those things.
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Mar 2, 2017 18:47
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kimbo305 posted:Striking sports are great, but I think more people prefer not to get hit in the head. There's no way to avoid taking damage in the long term if you're sparring. I'm not saying that to discourage anyone, but to just to point out the risk that you have to accept. this is why kyokushin karate is wasting their giant golden opportunity.
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Mar 23, 2017 19:35
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JaySB posted:Don't be a dick. But don't be lazy. I apply pressure to make it uncomfortable for my partner but I don't just sit there and smash them and hold them. Allow people to move it will improve their escapes and your transitions. This should be everyone. "Mountains that Roll" and noodle people alike.
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Mar 27, 2017 21:31
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kimbo305 posted:I can hear willie_dee getting the vapors on that self-defense stuff: What an rear end in a top hat. I don't know if I would have done better than that poor dude, getting assaulted out of nowhere.
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Apr 1, 2017 13:51
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Aikido isn't generally a great workout. Better than Cheetos on the couch but you won't see huge body transformation. Judo, real striking, BJJ they will work you hard enough to see physical benefits. Assuming you eat right and recover with sleep etc.
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Apr 4, 2017 01:48
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Idk wtf you people are on about but please link me this back buddy thing, sounds cool.
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Apr 4, 2017 22:12
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nice thanks for the link. I'm on the fence if I should buy one but I'm saving the link. Maybe someone can buy it for me as a B-day gift or something.
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Apr 6, 2017 03:48
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