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Prism
Dec 22, 2007

yospos

AfroSquirrel posted:

If you have goats, there is a chance of them attracting a dragon.

Do they keep trolls away, too?

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Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
You better Gift of Reason one of those goats man.

Anticheese
Feb 13, 2008

$60,000,000 sexbot
:rodimus:

Then empower it.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

AfroSquirrel posted:

If you have goats, there is a chance of them attracting a dragon.

I have no idea if you're being serious or not.

Because Dominions.

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
It's a shame the goat isn't an option for a Pretender chassis.

Also, by "attracting a dragon," do you mean attracting a dragon ATTACK or attracting a dragon ALLY?

Hello Sailor
May 3, 2006

we're all mad here

Give every new scout a goat.

Vauron
Aug 7, 2016

Take your stance
I will give you one fair chance
So let's make this dance a bloody masquerade

PurpleXVI posted:

It's a shame the goat isn't an option for a Pretender chassis.

Also, by "attracting a dragon," do you mean attracting a dragon ATTACK or attracting a dragon ALLY?

Dragon attack. If I recall correctly from when I was hit by that event, you are attacked by the fire Dragon which many nations can get as a Pretender.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Does it have the pretender flag or can you steal it?

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

tankfish posted:

Well just had my EA game end with string of bad luck events . Then through other events became king of the goats which now I know causes dragon attacks. Said dragon kills my pretender and torches my cap. Rest in piece Billy the Gruff Snake king of goats.

A very relevant new post from the Dominions 4 thread in Games.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.
Soiled Meat
Please do give those goats the gift of reason, that they may stop chewing on and ramming everything in sight, and in this way we might bring about a golden age for goats and goatlike non-goats.

Vauron
Aug 7, 2016

Take your stance
I will give you one fair chance
So let's make this dance a bloody masquerade

goatface posted:

Does it have the pretender flag or can you steal it?

No Pretender flag, but you'll rarely have an extra high S mage who can take several months or years off waiting for the event to proc. Nevermind the fact that it has 18 MR, which doesn't help.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Of course there's an event that depends on goats. Why did I even doubt?

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

Glazius posted:

Of course there's an event that depends on goats. Why did I even doubt?

If there was a :capitalism: emoji but for Dominions this is where I'd use it.

e: You know what, since the Thanksgiving Holidays are coming up it might be OK to do another update tonight!

How are u fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Nov 20, 2016

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

How are u posted:

If there was a :capitalism: emoji but for Dominions this is where I'd use it.

:xcom:

Is close in spirit.

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth
Turn 27



Turn 27 begins with a whole bunch of remote site-searching messages. Turns out that we only found two sites this turn:



The Garden of Pearls is great, I love astral pearls, and the second site is a real bonus:



The Whispering Woods lets us recruit Enchantresses, which is absolutely excellent, and I couldn't ask for a better site to get this early in the game. This will hopefully help diversify our magic greatly.




Enchantresses, as you can see, come with N1 but have the potential for a very diverse combination of other magical paths. If we are lucky Enchantresses will give us Air 2 and Water 2, allowing us to search for Air and Water sites in time. They are slow to recruit, however, so it may take some time before we get what we want. Regardless, the fort in Boar Woods province will be recruiting Enchantresses for the foreseeable future.

We see a few scouted battle reports of little interest. It looks like Ulm has attacked Bogarus with a tiny force of pikemen that get instantly annihilated by the much larger Bogarussian army. Either Ulm made a stupid misclick the previous turn or Bogarus and Ulm are at war. We have poor scouting in that part of the world, so we’ll have to wait to see how that shakes out.

Our only battle of the turn is the storming of the Xibalban fort in the province of Urd. Our grand army of sacred Levite Warriors, Gibborim, and crossbowmen look mighty indeed.



Xibalba has 9 blood hunting mages, some lovely infantry, and a couple dozen Beast Bats. Beast Bats are summoned with Blood magic by a select group of nations, Xibalba among them, but are not particularly threatening. They only have a single attack, and even though Xibalba took a Water 9 bless to give his sacreds Quickness (extra attack) they don’t really have the power to punch through our sacred infantry.


Dangerous with a Bless, and only because they're so easily spammable.



While the bats are ineffective Xibalba did however utilize some clever spell scripting on his mages. He set his blood hunters to spam a low level Death spell: Frighten. Frighten lowers the moral score of units that it hits, and 9 mages chain-casting Frighten actually managed to rout an entire block of our infantry.


Turn and fight, you cowards :argh:

Once our Sacred infantry breach the gate, however, Xibalban resistance is shattered.





We didn’t take real casualties, but if this had been a battle against a real Xibalban army that strategy would have been seriously effective. We’d better keep this in mind for the future.

The province of Urd contained a Hidden Gold Mine, an Arena, and a death site giving us a total of 2 death gems and 125 gold a turn. That’s a great haul considering how starved for gold we have been for the past year.

We're moving the army at Urd into Copper Woods, a province currently held by Pangaea but he told us that he is going to vacate to give us a path into Xibalban territory. Pangaea is winning against the bats, but not so much that he doesn't want our help. Our plan right now is to march along the coast and smash and grab every Xibalban province we can lay our hands on. Call it a Gathite March to the Sea. Hopefully we'll do well enough to get a shot at taking their valuable capitol province!



Finally, here's our Dominion graph for the turn:



Next turn: more war!

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
What's the spell scripting on your mages like? :v:

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

PurpleXVI posted:

What's the spell scripting on your mages like? :v:

Well, the army that took Urd has a single mage; the Kohen Gadol. His job is to 1) cast Divine Blessing and Bless every one of our Sacred troops on round 1...and 2) stay alive.

Our strategy right now requires no more finesse than Throw Sacreds At The Enemy Until Dead. Fancy spell-scripting need not apply.

Shady Amish Terror
Oct 11, 2007
I'm not Amish by choice. 8(

Hello Sailor posted:

Give every new scout a goat.

goats are stealthy

GOATS HAVE STEALTH

This is important. Remote dragon attacks need to happen.

Zernach
Oct 23, 2012
So what you are suggesting is we "gift" everyone else with our Judas goats :v:.

Btw, what is that worldwide event thing in the events list?

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

Zernach posted:

Btw, what is that worldwide event thing in the events list?

It's probably something regarding a Throne that was recently claimed. IIRC it was the Throne of the Sun so it would be something like "worldwide Heat increased". Sometimes you get random stuff like "the stars are right for conjuration magic" and all Conjuration spells get a small discount.

tankfish
May 31, 2013
I'm the one who got torched by a dragon as far I can figure it the goat dragon event happens when you got too many of the buggers in one place. Maybe it works like horror marks? No idea about goats one shotting trolls but it would be a neat easter egg. Also please gift of reason the goats the world needs to suffer the iron hoof of goat supremacy.

Ramc
May 4, 2008

Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

tankfish posted:

I'm the one who got torched by a dragon as far I can figure it the goat dragon event happens when you got too many of the buggers in one place. Maybe it works like horror marks? No idea about goats one shotting trolls but it would be a neat easter egg. Also please gift of reason the goats the world needs to suffer the iron hoof of goat supremacy.

goat marks

jBrereton
May 30, 2013
Grimey Drawer

Ramc posted:

:xcom:

Is close in spirit.


(But better)

tankfish
May 31, 2013

Ramc posted:

goat marks

I want this to be a werid strategy like the turkeys back in the day.

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

jBrereton posted:



(But better)

:worship:

Love it, excellent. e: maybe slow it down a tiny bit, but otherwise perfect.

How are u fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Nov 22, 2016

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

jBrereton posted:



(But better)

Buy it.

Apocron
Dec 5, 2005
What is happening in it?

Shady Amish Terror
Oct 11, 2007
I'm not Amish by choice. 8(
I'm having trouble placing the figure on the left, but dude on the right is some caveman or other indie trash mob with a spear critting for 999. Dominions actually does dice rolls for combat actions and has exploding crits, so technically that should be possible on any attack, but uh, the random number generation in Dom 3 wasn't very good, leading to this famous image being created (I think for one of the earlier LP's?):



That nifty-looking pattern you're seeing in the background is a heat-plot of the output pulled from Dom 3's random number generator. As you can tell...it isn't very random, and no consecutive string of critical rolls could ever explode more than, I think it was about six times. 'Exploding' in dice rolls, if you're not aware, is usually re-rolling the die if you get a max roll and adding the results to your total roll until you roll something other than maximum. So, technically, any attack by any level 1 shitfarmer (or goat, or whatever), could paste any cosmic horror in a single strike, provided they made an impossibly long string of good critical rolls. In practice, not only would this be unlikely with random numbers, the RNG of Dom 3 literally didn't allow it. I don't know if that was fixed for this iteration of the game, but lethal, debilitating wounds can still cause giant man-eating Anaconda gods to bleed out from some dude punching them or towering two-story-tall lightning-flinging giants to become feeble-minded and lame from a vicious halfling kick.

TGG
Aug 8, 2003

"I Dare."
That is a beautiful bit of animation and it is totally a spearman or some poo poo killing an erfsnake or some poo poo. Truly wonderful!

jBrereton
May 30, 2013
Grimey Drawer
I'm going to improve it first I think but thank you.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Count me as another fan of Dominions even if the game itself is utterly baffling.

Sort of like Dwarf Fortress, but with a nicer soundtrack.

EDIT: I'm also a fan of LPs with actual nations than draft LPs, because the nations themselves are the characters of the game. Seeing the progression of nations through the ages is neat.

SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 16:22 on Nov 22, 2016

Sloober
Apr 1, 2011

SirPhoebos posted:

Count me as another fan of Dominions even if the game itself is utterly baffling.

Sort of like Dwarf Fortress, but with a nicer soundtrack.

EDIT: I'm also a fan of LPs with actual nations than draft LPs, because the nations themselves are the characters of the game. Seeing the progression of nations through the ages is neat.

They're really poorly balanced, although it is neat seeing strategies attempt to overcome how lovely a nations troop or mages are.

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth

Sloober posted:

They're really poorly balanced, although it is neat seeing strategies attempt to overcome how lovely a nations troop or mages are.

The complete lack of balance is half of the fun and all of the charm, as far as I'm concerned. "Balance" has never been something the Dominions creators have seemed particularly interested in, and the fact that some nations are kind of straight up dog-poo poo offers a somewhat fun way to handicap great players. Can you take one the worst nations in an Age and win against all odds? If your name is Nuclearmonkee then you probably can and will! I've always held the opinion that to try to bring all of the nations into parity would remove a lot of what makes the game special to me.

Sloober
Apr 1, 2011

How are u posted:

The complete lack of balance is half of the fun and all of the charm, as far as I'm concerned. "Balance" has never been something the Dominions creators have seemed particularly interested in, and the fact that some nations are kind of straight up dog-poo poo offers a somewhat fun way to handicap great players. Can you take one the worst nations in an Age and win against all odds? If your name is Nuclearmonkee then you probably can and will! I've always held the opinion that to try to bring all of the nations into parity would remove a lot of what makes the game special to me.

Oh i'm inclined to agree

Although i did really like the baddraft stuff.

Genaro
Sep 22, 2011
Game is also so diplomatic in nature that the weakness of a nation can be a strength (or strength of a nation a weakness).

No multiplayer game will suffer tri-bless jags to live, but may let Ulm hang around a bit, since hey, we can deal with him later.

Not Alex
Oct 9, 2012

Cut loose before the god eaters show up.

Genaro posted:

Game is also so diplomatic in nature that the weakness of a nation can be a strength (or strength of a nation a weakness).

No multiplayer game will suffer tri-bless jags to live, but may let Ulm hang around a bit, since hey, we can deal with him later.

Never underestimate the desire to not be the one who has to deal with tri-bless jags. Or to eat the weak.

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth
One more update coming shortly, then there will likely not be any until next week due to the Thanksgiving holiday times in the US. Dominions is actually a very appropriate game for a holiday celebrating genocide! :waycool:

How are u
May 19, 2005

by Azathoth
Turn 28



Turn 28 begins with hitting a few new levels of research. We have reached Thaumaturgy 4, which allows us to remote-search for Earth and Air sites. We set one Kohen Gadol to search for Earth, and others will join in the future. We do not currently have any Air mages, but hopefully soon we’ll recruit an Enchantress with A2 who can do that for us! I'm keen to diversify our magical repertoire. We are also beginning to research in the Construction school. Construction is one of the most important schools of magic for many nations because there are so many invaluable items to forge.



All of our remote searching spells find only one site this turn: another Garden of Pearls with +2 Astral like we found a turn or two ago. Sucks to only find one site, but at least it isn’t a bad one.

Next there are a bunch of battle reports. Xibalba attacked our rich farmland province of Vath with a Devil leading a bunch of Imps. Vath does not sit adjacent to any Xibalban provinces, so this was a flying raid into our territory:




Imps are pure chaff, but Devils are dangerous in numbers.

Only a debased and Unholy nation would summon Demons. This attack confirms the righteousness of our war against these wicked Bats. The Demonic raiders fall quickly to Province Defense steel.

Then there are some scouted reports of Pangaea stomping Xibalba, and of Xibalba breaking a Pannish siege. I'm glad to see Xibalba putting up spirited resistance, because Pangaea is clearly going to win this war. Our grand army advanced into Copper Woods without incident, slaughtering an amphibious Xibalban force of Muuch frog-men who must have been ordered to re-take the province from Pangaea this turn.


These underwater-only recruits of Xibalba's are hilarious jokes of units.

Our scouts did pick up a great report from Man, however. It looks like Man decided to attempt to take one of the high level Thrones in his territory, a Throne guarded by an Annunaki of the Sky and Spring Hawks. Here is the mighty Mannish army, over 500 strong:


We've come to the point where the Mo'Money game settings are enabling seriously big armies!

And here again are the Throne defenders:



Spring Hawks are very nasty to fight unless you have lightning resistant troops, but if you have them they are a piece of cake. They’re ethereal (hard to hit), have an AOE1 lightning attack, and a fair amount of HP.



The Annunaki of the Sky guarding the Throne is a massively powerful Air mage. He also gets a couple dozen air gems in every battle with which to cast spells. He starts the battle putting up a little air shield on himself, but on turn 2 he casts the high-level extremely powerful Air spells “Fog Warriors”, which gives his entire army a buff that reduces all damage each unit takes to 1 unless the damage is over a certain threshold that can break the enchantment.


Somebody's about to have a bad day.



The Throne Guardians loving clobber Man’s army, embarrassingly so. I’m pretty sure that Man’s Prophet dies in the battle as well. So far this game is giving us some hilarious Throne battles.


:science:


:stonklol:

The rest of the turn is uneventful. We experienced some special events that, among other things; stole gems, gave gems, and gave us an Earth Gnome commander unit, who is useless and bad.

The Throne of Misfortune continues to spread Misfortune scales across the globe, so I am sure that all the other nations are very grateful for me for claiming it.

Our Dominion score is rebounding in a very robust manner, I’m super pleased. We will keep sacrificing until we have our full Dominion back, and we may continue after that.



We move troops to Old Man Mountains so that next turn we can move an army onto the Xibalban fort in Star Peaks, and half of our army in Copper Woods moves north along the coast, creeping closer to Xibalba’s capitol province. I want to take the capitol, and more importantly the Throne adjacent to it. If we can take that Throne, then we will be able to start exploiting our double-Bless to a much more full extent. We’ll see if we can even get there.



Next turn: Conquest continues! :hist101:

How are u fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Nov 23, 2016

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!
Man, the Pangaea/Xibalba border looks like an absolute mess.

Is there any way to tell whose Dominion is encroaching on yours, except by what side effects it has?

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jBrereton
May 30, 2013
Grimey Drawer
Nope, s'all dark blue candles.

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