Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not allowing daughter (17F) to attend parties?

Pick posted:

You can wring your hands about my posting all day, thus simulating the experience of actually working

luxury handset posted:

getting arrested for underage drinking at a bonfire is probably the healthiest way to get arrested. i can't even imagine what kind of square rear end cop would arrest someone for that. oh a bunch of teens are drinking natty light in a field? ten years hard labor, all of you

Araenna posted:

Yeah. Like, unless I stayed closeted and never transitioned, I'm gonna basically look like a TERF's strawperson of a trans woman. Literally there was one going around recently that is basically me. I'm not gonna keep myself closeted because I might make other trans people "look bad" to people who already hate trans people. Instead, I'm going to exist as myself and bigots can die mad about it.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not allowing daughter (17F) to attend parties?

quote:

i'm going to start saying that boyf has a brain disorder. i say this bc it has colored our relationship and it makes it hard to ask others for advice, since i can't disclose this info to people who know him. our... our ages are slightly different than what i said on here. i'm sorry. i'm younger, he's older, he's probably a predator kind of person (and we get a poo poo ton of Looks about this) or whatevs, but i don't want to think about it, i am genuinely in love with him.

so... basically, while we were going through a really rough patch in our relationship (he was drowning in this really heartbreaking, imaginary scenario where i "schemed" behind his back to cheat on him w a friend of mine), his birthday came up. i got him a plaid shirt. a while after that, we started to fix our relationship, and he came out of the brain disorder closet w me. that was about 2 months ago. he hasn't. stopped. wearing the shirt. like, maybe he's worn something different once or twice, but it's always the same plaid shirt. he looks nice in it, and it's lovely that he likes it so much, but... but i don't know what's happening. i don't know how to ask "hey, you're wearing the exact same clothes every single day, what's going on".

i am concerned. i'm worried this is going to end up not being cute like his "cigs and coffee hardass macho man diet"... which turned out to be all he consumed daily, w exceptions. now i make lunch for us every day cos if i don't, he won't eat anything. i have forced him (i kinda mastered some weird way to make him sleepy, i don't know how that happened) to take naps at my apt cos otherwise... he'll get sleep deprived and go hypomanic for days.

how would you ask this type of person about the shirt thing? sorry if the answer seems a bit obvious, or the question a bit dumb. navigating relationships is super hard for me, and i don't want to hurt his feelings.

PetraCore posted:

Hey, nothing wrong with transitioning later in life. gently caress the haters, you be you.

Pinecone Sample posted:

i [30f] gave my boyfriend [40m] a shirt and now it's all he ever wears


No I'm not a 30-year-old woman who says "the boyf" and yes my retired boyfriend is going senile but at least I tricked his cranky rear end into a nap schedule

Anyway, about the plaid shirt

Araenna posted:

Thanks! It's less about transitioning late and more about being nonbinary (AFAB on testosterone). I look how I look by choice and am happy with how I look for the first time in my life (even if I hate the loose skin from weight loss). It does make me feel like I'm hurtng trans women sometimes. But I haven't met a trans person who would give a gently caress who isn't truscum, so I just focus on how mad me being happy makes TERFs instead.

Pick posted:

Or for not working

Pinecone Sample posted:

i [30f] gave my boyfriend [40m] a shirt and now it's all he ever wears

quote:

our ages are slightly different than what i said on here. i'm sorry. i'm younger, he's older, he's probably a predator kind of person (and we get a poo poo ton of Looks about this) or whatevs, but i don't want to think about it, i am genuinely in love with him.

Yawgmoth posted:

I'm not that strict! I just never let her have any fun unless I can preside over it like a goddamned vulture.

spacetoaster posted:

Weren't we all just posting a couple pages ago about how there are rape monsters all over the place and women must live in constant fear?

quote:

Im dating this girl where we hit it off the minute we met. Ive never dated someone older than me. BUt thats not a big deal at all. THe biggest thing is the fact that she is Mormon. I live in utah so its not out of the blue. Problem is she got divorced 5 years ago and has a 9 year old daughter. Daughter goes with dad remarried wife half of the time.



My gf and i have amazing chemistry. She is amazing and we get along great. She never gets mad at me and we have great communication. The issue is this. She is so set on being a mormon. Its huge for her. She goes to church weekly. She wants to get temple married which means I need to convert. Im a jew and its been a big part of me(not religousbut identity). Not only that she wants to wait to have sex until married. She wont watch rated R movies(thats a normal mormon thing) and listen to bad music or have a drink or smoke any weed. Not only that its just shes so into her religion and i cant be into it at all. Im not mormon and ill never be mormon. Dont believe it etc.





tl;dr GF and I have perfect chemistry excep[t shes super mormon and wants me to be one but i dont want too. What do I do? We are amazing and this is best relationship ive ever had.

spacetoaster posted:

Weren't we all just posting a couple pages ago about how there are rape monsters all over the place and women must live in constant fear?

dudeness posted:

AnoHito posted:

I am not that horribly strict! I just keep my daughter in a remote location and refuse to let her go to any social events I deem improper for a lady of her stature!

quote:

So this is posted on behalf of my boyfriend.

Backstory: my bf works in a job where he is paid as a contracted employee (not a corporate W-2 type situation).

He works with a guy who was here with his dad on a visa that essentially stipulated they have to go to school/learn English (they're from somewhere eastern European I believe). They didn't do this and his dad was deported (or asked to leave and he complied, not 100% sure). The son went back with him for a few months, and then came back on a travel visa.

Well now that he's back he's both working with my boyfriend (potentially under the table, not sure on this), and is working for a construction company making somewhere around 70k.

My boyfriend recently found out that he's on a travel visa and was considering anonymously reporting him for the violation (again, the second time). He knows it's technically the right thing to do legally, but feels like it's a lovely thing to do, even though the guy would probably get found out eventually.

Mind, his life in his home country is pretty cushy from what we understand, his dad is actually famous there and makes a good living. So he's not trying to escape from poverty or a bad situation, he just doesn't have the right kind of visa to be working here.

He doesn't want to get his boss into trouble and he doesn't want to ruin someone's life but he doesn't feel great about walking around knowing the guy is breaking the law.

WHBTA if he anonymously reported the guy for working with a travel visa?

**Note, I am just working with our knowledge of the immigration/visa laws so we could be wrong. If someone has insight on this that indicates what he's doing is okay, please do tell as I'd love to learn!

Marchofthepenguins posted:

WIBTA if I called in an anonymous immigration tip

quote:

I live in Brooklyn, my dad lives in Long Island, my mom is in Ukraine until next month. My boyfriend (of 1+ year) and I were supposed to stay here together and watch the pets (dog, cat, chinchilla, fish) until my mom gets home. It’s not an option for me to go with him until my mom comes back in September. Once she returns, I move with my boyfriend to the other state.

My boyfriend is leaving 2 weeks earlier than me to pursue a job at Denny’s because apparently they would only hire him as a server if he shows up on a specific day. My boyfriend seems to think that if he doesn’t take this opportunity, we will struggle for the rest of our lives. I think he’s being a tad overdramatic.

My dad found out about this yesterday and drove all the way here to tell my boyfriend not to go and that he was putting me in danger by leaving me alone here for 2 weeks. My dad said that if my boyfriend goes, his opinion on him will change and he will have to quit his job in Long Island to come stay with me and make sure I’m safe.

I should also note that my parents do in fact baby me. I have a few mental disabilities and I’m currently facing chest pains and my insurance just ran out. I don’t want to be left alone. But my boyfriend is dead set on going and I’m not going to stop him.

He said he would be furious with me if I made him stay and he’s willing to throw away his relationship with my dad for a job at Denny’s and that hurts me because he knows how much family means to me.

When my dad was giving him the talk, I said I’d be okay and to let him go if that’s what he wants and my dad said “I don’t care what you say, I know you’re not going to be okay alone.” He told my boyfriend to make a decision in 3 days and tell my dad. My dad sees it as “choose Denny’s or my daughter” My boyfriend already decided that he’s leaving.

Now he’s stressing about everything and treating me poorly because of it. He thinks it’s my fault for telling my dad that he was going. He called me a baby which hurt my feelings. He called me an anchor because I’m somehow holding us back despite the fact that I never told him not to go. I always tell him to do whatever he wants. He’s acting distant, stepping outside for phone calls which he never does, picking fights over nothing and barely speaking to me even though we are in the same house.

all in all, I feel betrayed. Like I said, I’m not going to stop him because that will only cause resentment and I don’t want to be controlling but I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to him as we have other job options lined up for us. I don’t know why he’s so dead set on Denny’s. He has serving experience so it wouldn’t be hard to become a server in another restaurant. I have terrible anxiety and I’ve never been alone in a house before. My house has been robbed before, I’ve been followed home, I’ve seen men staring through my window. Needless to say, I’m terrified. I don’t want my dad to quit his job and ruin his life to ensure my safety.

TL;DR: My boyfriend is leaving me alone in my mom’s house for 2 weeks in an unsafe neighborhood while she’s visiting family in another country. He’s doing this for a job at Denny’s. My dad is furious.

spacetoaster posted:

Weren't we all just posting a couple pages ago about how there are rape monsters all over the place and women must live in constant fear?

Marchofthepenguins posted:

WIBTA if I called in an anonymous immigration tip

HIJK posted:

This is a bad post. The point of the drinking-drugging discussion was what kind of common sense precautions women should take when attending parties hosted by strangers. No one was saying women should hide bawling in fear every time they see a man's shadow. It's about how to take care of yourself in a public setting known to be exploited by predators.

"Women often have to factor in the risk of being drugged when offered an alcoholic drink by a stranger" =/= "there are rape monsters all over the place and women must live in constant fear"

Don't be silly now.

Pick posted:

Maybe you guys would know some of how society feels if you ever talked to people outside your exact political and age demographics

HIJK posted:

No one was saying women should hide bawling in fear every time they see a man's shadow.

Don't be silly now.

MasBrillante posted:

high probability of being raped every time we interact with men.

goethe.cx posted:

spacetoaster is a trump guy so

Frog Act posted:

My (18f) boyfriend (19) is leaving me alone for 2 weeks for a job at Denny’s in another state and I feel betrayed. My dad is furious. I need help and advice.

Pick posted:

My gauge is 15 million so you can't even keep numbers straight.

Pick posted:

Maybe you guys would know some of how society feels if you ever talked to people outside your exact political and age demographics

spacetoaster posted:

I was referring to this:



When did this happen?

Tetramin posted:

This is a weird one. OP sounds pretty paranoid and dad sounds like he knows if she's alone he'll be getting constant frantic phone calls. Though if her house was broken into before I imagine that's a horrifying experience and makes it drat near impossible to ever feel safe and secure. BF is also a moron

spacetoaster posted:

Denny's pays servers around 3 dollars an hour. It's the right move for their future.