- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I want to repost some classics.
quote:
My guy friend has a crush on me. He's told me, and while I can't reciprocate his feelings yet, I am interested.
Or at least, I was before he started meme-ing me to death.
We share a niche, nerdy hobby. When he learned this, he started turning every conversation toward in-jokes about that hobby. Everything I say, no matter how unrelated, is met with loldank memes or him teasing me about how he's better than me at this hobby and so on.
At first I thought he was being ironic or something, so I would acknowledge the meme and laugh it off, but now he's doing it incessantly and it just makes me not want to talk to him.
I think he's doing it for my sake and I want him to stop, but I don't know how to tell him? Like I mentioned, I was actually interested in him, which is why this is frustrating me. Thanks for any help.
TL;DR: Guy I was interested in just talks to me in memes. I'm getting annoyed and want him to stop.
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Hi, been a lurker on this subreddit and didn't really have the courage to post, but I'm at my wits end with my girlfriend (let's call her Chris) and her immature behavior.
Some background: So I first met Chris in a group of friends. She was fun, tomboyish, smart, and well-versed on the internet which I found particularly striking. She spends a lot of time on reddit, 4chan, and knowyourmeme. At first I found this hobby mutual as I'm a frequent internet user myself, except I started noticing that Chris would bring it into the real world.
For example, Chris has an obsession with memes. She has memes posted all over her wall and is very active on meme based forums. I understand they make her laugh and that it's not too concerning, but she brings up memes ALL the time. And I mean all the time. Even when we first started talking and flirting she'd bring up socially awkward penguin. At first it was cute, but then it got annoying fast when I realized she did this constantly.
My girlfriend doesn't abstain from meme usage, even when we're having sex. Whenever we spend this time together, she starts moaning doge memes like "such sex, wow" and it really kills the moment for me. Like really? Is that even close to appropriate? Maybe she wants to relieve the tension, but does she know when to draw the line? Even reading that over made me sick knowing that Chris is usually 100% serious about those things.
I tried bringing up her inappropriate usage of memes after my father died and she literally sends me advice animal memes that say 'don't be sad' but my dad just loving died could you be more sensitive and not send me memes? I said that straight to her face yesterday and she started crying, and I feel awful but it was just really irritating for me.
Basically, every time I bring up her habit, guess what- she just brings up memes! It's impossible to fight with her reasonably and I'd hate to end our year long relationship over something so trivial like this and I need advice. Do I stick with her or not? The reaction to my dad's death was the final straw for me and I've been ignoring her messages, texts, which yes, do contain memes.
Sorry for making this long, I'm having a bit of catharsis here. I know Reddit loves its memes and I might get flamed for this, but it's an actual problem and I need help dealing with her. Throwaway because yes, she is on reddit. I'm thinking of showing her this board once I get enough advice to show her that her "harmless" jokes actually get on my nerves to a serious degree.
tl;dr: Girlfriend uses memes in real life, acts immature about them, and doesn't understand context... I'm really at my wit's end and need advice on if I should break or try to work this out. Please help.
quote:
My husband (I'll call him John for the sake of anonymity) and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and everything has been going well up until a year or so ago. We were planning on having children and everything. Now my life feels like it is at a complete stand still.
John is always bringing up these new business ideas that never go anywhere and I find it cute sometimes because it's not really harming anyone. "We should make a window shade company that simulates sunrises for people who need to wake up before sunrise". It's always weird little things like this. I just laugh because I know he will never do anything with it but he has always dreamed of doing something big.
We are both avid redditors so when we find a new subreddit that we love we get excited and start sending each other links to see if we can get the other one interested. It has mixed results and we laugh it off when he tells me he doesn't care about a new eye shadow that's coming out. Skip to 2013...
He finds out about bitcoin and is sending me links constantly about it. It goes from "check out this cool technology" to absolute cultish behavior in a very brief period. I would say 0-100 in probably 2 months. He starts taking every dime we have and buying them as quickly as he can. He actually set up a feature that BUYS MORE ON A WEEKLY BASIS after our paychecks come through. The worst part is he didn't even TELL ME he did this. He gave me this arrogant response about doing what's best for us and our future kids.
Overall, and I'm not exaggerating, I would say we have lost over $22,000. I kept telling him to sell as the price was rising and he promised me a big year in 2014. The price kept falling and he CONTINUED TO BUY MORE. He makes more money than I do but we are building a future together and we have a shared bank account. He kept telling me this was for our kids college fund, to buy a house, etc. The money...I can get over as people spend money on other stupid crap like boats they will never use but this isn't even the beginning to the absolute craziness I will see out of him over the coming year.
I am in marketing & PR and we run large events at local arenas. A big part of my job is meeting clients/investors for events to ensure them that they will get a return and basically shmooze at parties. My husband used to be great at these events. When people like you and your family, they trust you and are more willing to do business.
My husband starts bringing up loving bitcoin at these events. MY events for MY job. People here have a lot of money and he knows this. He saw this as some kind of opportunity. He goes on and on about how taxes are theft and bitcoin is a way out. The dollar is about to collapse, banks are destroying the world, etc. You are supposed to make light hearted jokes about how their football team is doing, not get into these political discussions. He knows this too since he's been coming to these events with me for years.
It starts off small where I laugh it off and say "ohhhh John, he's into technology and gets a little too excited". He saw this as condescension. The car rides home? Full on fights about how I don't get it and I'm going to be left behind. I felt like I was fighting with some type of evangelical Christian (I have been in plenty of these growing up). He ironically rips into religion any chance he gets but he is absolutely part of a cult full of insane people.
Keep in mind as this goes on he is still buying more as the price goes down telling me we have a great opportunity on our hands. I actually have a bookmark on my phone to see what the bitcoin price is because I can predict his mood for the day. I actually check the price every single loving morning to know how I should treat him that day. His entire mood is based off of the price. It will go up 10% in one day, crash 20% the next. Our whole lives is an emotional rollercoaster based off of absolutely nothing. Every time it goes up a few dollars he rubs it in my face how wrong I was. He ignores long term trends and focuses on these specific time frames to show me how stupid I am. Yes, my husband called me STUPID over THINKING I do not understand it.
I feel like I have read more about bitcoin than he has because he won't discuss any downsides with me. He tells me all problems will be fixed and we are in on the ground floor. He seems to be in a constant good news bubble about this when no one actually cares. Most of the responses he gets from people in public are feigned interest until they can get away from him or they just tell him they don't care if the converstaion lasts more than 2 minutes. I am embarrassed to be around him.
After a recent price crash, he actually bought more using our vacation fund that I have been saving away for AND planning. All gone, in bitcoin never to be seen again.
I am sorry for the long rant but this is my life now. I have tried everything. I have tried reasoning with him. I have tried explaining to him that he should not have sole control over our money. He is so confident that he slyly brings up selling one of our cars to buy more. He didn't come right out and say what it was for but I can guarantee you it was to buy more. He is ruining my job and robbing me of happiness.
I used to consider him a smart guy and I never, ever thought he would succomb to basically being brainwashed by a bunch of clueless idiots on the internet who seem to know absolutely nothing about finance or the real world. I don't know how familiar people are here with bitcoin but if you go to their subreddit, you will see exactly what I'm talking about. I started crying once reading my husband's comments worded slightly differently, repeated 100 times over. It was like I married a parrot.
My parents give that look to each other when he talks now like "ugh, what is he going to say next" every time we have dinner together. I am constantly trying to change the subject and he gets angry with me. You can tell he wants to raise his voice but since we are around my parents he holds back.
What do I DO? I am not religious in any way but my family most certainly is. I feel like I couldn't even bring up divorce and I want to save my husband. I want him back to the way he was. It seems like he is addicted to a drug but since he doesn't realize it, everyone else is wrong. I don't know if I should have an intervention or just walk away and hope he comes to his senses when I'm staying in a hotel for a few weeks.
Again, I apologize for the length but I want you to feel the way I feel so you can understand the advice you are giving. I really need help here. Thank you to anyone who even reads half of this!
tl;dr: My husband will not stop spending money on bitcoins. He brings it up every chances he gets with people he as just met. We have lost a lot of money on this and as time goes by, he wants to listen less and less. I'm scared there isn't a way to talk him out of this.
He is 31, but this was a year ago so maybe he's rich now, I dunno.
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Sep 29, 2016 17:05
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 13:02
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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FYI, most of these have details skewed way away from reality or are just plain made up, if that makes people sleep better.
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Sep 29, 2016 18:54
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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did the comments mention anything that this friend may possibly have done to warrant being treated like a criminal
Like, I get that that might not make any difference to a 14-year-old but there's "they want to treat him like a criminal for no reason" and then there's "they want to treat him like a criminal because he confessed to burning down the groundskeeper shed"
The troubled kid almost certainly admitted to having sexual thoughts about kids or acted on it, which lead to the self harm, he just isn't telling his friend.
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Sep 30, 2016 00:35
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Everyone thinks they are above average intelligence-wise. If someone Thibs they are average they are probably dumb as rocks.
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Sep 30, 2016 02:34
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Nahhh, she probably dumb.
quote:Funny enough Pokemon Go has led to some weird issues between me and my wife.
My wife basically plays Pokemon Go at 90% of moments she isn't working or texting a friend.(Level 32?) This isn't hyperbole. The phone is just out most of the time.
I would say our relationship is really healthy in that I can bring up the amount of time on the phone, and we handle it appropriately. But lately Pokemon Go has made this a little more difficult.
The main issue is that she has started meeting men our age 1-2 days a week to go catch Pokemon. All day. From 12pm - 7pm sort of hours.
1. I've asked her if she is planning to continue to do it if it makes me uncomfortable ("yes, would like to")
2. I've asked her if she would be comfortable if I did this with other women ("not sure/no answer")
3. I've asked if she could reserve catching with the guys so I could go with them, I don't play though.("Yes, I don't know, it'd be weird")
4. I've asked her if the guys and her and I could meet for drinks with their fiances/girlfriends(didn't love that suggestion, but seemed okay with it)
I will admit I am being insecure. Just not sure what to do. It's clear as of now they are meeting up for Pokemon GO. I'm not giving any ultimatums. Just communicating to her that I'm uncomfortable with the set-up and looking for ways to work it out. I'm also just still processing it. It's the first time it's come up in our relationship. Also, I've gone out of the way to not put myself in situations like this with other women, when I could have a billion times. So just a little miffed it's not being reciprocated.
Any advice?
────────
tl;dr: Wife plays Pokemon Go basically all the time. Now is meeting up with guys her age on her days off to catch all day. I'm insecure about it.
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Sep 30, 2016 05:33
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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This is like that one where the woman finds out she was dating a 16 year old, but this woman's boyfriend is 3.
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Sep 30, 2016 14:36
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Isn't this problem solved by power strip or extension cord or something?
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Oct 4, 2016 20:16
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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"Maybe if we get a puppy together everything will be better"
"Ok, that didn't work, but now I can't break up with him because of the puppy. Maybe have a baby?"
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Oct 10, 2016 14:19
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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quote:
My dog, Riley, recently had puppies. This is her second and final litter and I have a waiting list of people ready to buy them as soon as they are old enough to be separated from momma. Before you ask, no I don't run a puppy mill. My girl lives a good life and she has plenty of freedom. She is a duck dog and she's drat good at what she does. She's so good that she quickly became the talk of our rural South Carolina town. To make a long story short: her puppies are very desireable.
Anyways, I recently went on a date with a girl I met on tinder, let's call her Bethany. We hit it off really well! We have a lot in common: she love playing video games, she's a beer connoisseur, and she's incredibly cute (think Ellie Kemper's doppleganger). Our date went well enough that i ended up inviting her back to my place. I showed her around the house and took her to the basement where I keep Riley and her pups in a large bedding area under a heat lamp (Riley has access to the backyard via a doggy door). Needless to say, the moment Bethany saw the puppies she went berserk. We ended up playing with the pups for about half an hour before I suggested we go upstairs and watch a movie. She seemed kind of reluctant to leave, but she came up with me and we watched a movie and enjoyed a makeout session.
After lounging around for a bit, she said she needed to go get something from her car. She was gone for about 5 minutes. When she came back upstairs she said her roommate had called her and had accidently locked herself out of their apartment so she had to leave. I was a little disappointed but i understood. I kissed her goodnight and she left.
The next morning I went to check on the pups. When I got downstairs I could tell something was wrong with Riley. She seemed on edge, she was sniffing all over the basement, and she kept on whimpering. After a bit of pondering I noticed that the "lump" of puppies seemed smaller than normal. I ended up counting them. I know for a fact that she birthed 12 pups, but low and behold I only counted 11 there.
I immediately suspected Bethany. Those pups weren't old enough to escape their bedding and I'm drat sure Riley wouldn't eat one. I called and texted Bethany several times but she didn't answer. This morning I called her work number (she's a librarian) and she answered, but she hung up as soon as she heard my voice.
I guess my question now is what do I do? Would the police even bother with a case like this? Should I try calling her again? Is she ignoring me because she thought the date went bad or does she have something more to hide? I don't want to get the police involved, but I want my drat puppy back.
tl;dr: I think my tinder date stole my puppy after acting sketchy and abruptly leaving my house. Not sure how to proceed.
The dark side of tinder.
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Oct 10, 2016 15:12
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Me [21F] with the family I nanny for. The son [13M]'s behavior is starting to creep me out, but I'm not sure if it actually is inappropriate or just a cultural difference.
The Italian SA Goon production seems to be going well!
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Oct 10, 2016 15:38
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I thought the genetic test was some sort of "Test to see if you are actually Jewish by blood" thing that some particular sect cared about. The fact that it's a disease thing makes my "I don't think you actually need to test" joke fall a little flat.
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Oct 10, 2016 20:48
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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This is a good "Guess the Age" one:
quote:
So my and my boyfriend recently rekindled our romance and got back together after a few months "break". We are supposed to be trying our best to make things work and make each other happy.....
So the other day it was my birthday and he very gleefully presented me with my birthday gift, which turned out to be a clothes iron. It was cheap, he had bought it from a shop near his home, in my opinion he made no effort whatsoever, he didn't even wrap it!! I told him straight away that i wasn't happy, i don't want my boyfriend to buy me an iron for my birthday! He said I'm so ungrateful; he heard me say i needed an iron so he went and got me one so why am i complaining.
I don't know, I'm just really disappointed, an iron for a birthday gift just seems so poo poo to me, he thinks I'm spoilt and should just be happy for what i get. Seriously this kind of thing makes me think maybe we are not right for each other, i really do feel totally disillusioned about our relationship now.
Please can you give your opinions about this? Thank you!
TL;DR BF gave me an i iron for my bday, i think its a poo poo present, he thinks I'm an ungrateful bitch.
My boyfriend (33M) gave me (33F) an iron for my birthday - am I ungrateful because I'm not happy with it?
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Oct 11, 2016 16:26
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I [19m] am staring "nice guys finish last" in the face, and it's changing my perspectives in a negative light.
quote:
(Throwaway so nobody can figure out who I am in case someone on campus knows my reddit name) This semester I started university on a basketball scholarship. I came from a small private school with a great basketball problem and academic program so most people in my high school were mostly focused on their goals a lot more so than relationships. I've only been in two relationships in my life, one where the girl cheated on me and told me I felt more like a "friend" and one that ended because I was leaving for college.
Now, as a member of the team, they've added me to the team "group chat" on whatsapp. The discussions however are very rarely actually about basketball. It's just constant stuff about how many girls each guy on the team is banging, nudes of the girls, screenshots of how they lied and hosed them over, etc. Now, for me these guys are absolute assholes but obviously to be a team player I just have to shut my mouth and just observe. But since coming to college in August, I haven't been having anything close to the same luck. Girls will even approach me, say I'm cute, etc, but after one hangout they seem to lose interest. My teammates keep telling me really misogynistic stuff to do to get girls (they honestly sound like the real life equivalent of TRP even though I assume they don't read that stuff), and while I feel like that's not my style, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and I'm here feeling alone while my teammates have women fighting over them while they treat them like poo poo. Is there anyway I can be myself and still enjoy the college lifestyle?
TL;DR Starting college, struggling with girls while my teammates have women just hanging off them and it's started to ruin my perspectives
Women, Right?
Me [27F] with my boyfriend [28F] of 2 years, he kisses his fqmily on the lips
quote:
As the title said we have been dating about 2 years. His family lives overseas. We are on a trip where I have finally met his family. Now we at the hotel after meeting and he had kissed his mom straight on the lips at least three times. I find it really weird, kind of disgusting. Is this usual? We gave a gift and his mom kind of snuggled between us and put her arm around me. When we left he gave his father a kiss too!?
Tl/dr: My boyfriend kisses his mum and father on the mouth. Is this gross?
She said boyfriend but also 28F. Also, ewwww, they show affection and his Mom put her arm around me!
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Oct 13, 2016 19:04
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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"I almost pooped myself reading this poo poo." another good thread title.
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Oct 13, 2016 19:51
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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GUESS THE AGE!
My [28f] boyfriend's [31m] female friend refers to me as "borderline retarded", and said my gene pool "should end with me".
quote:
They've been friends for about 10 years. She lives across the country. When he and I first got together she told him she "couldn't be his friend anymore" because she "had feelings for him and couldn't handle him being with someone else". Eventually she contacted him and they started talking again.
She would ask him, on a daily basis, to compliment her in order to "boost her ego", would ask him to tell her how it was the one time they fooled around, if she was good, again, to "boost her ego". While drunk one night he admitted he told her that she had tasted amazing, claimed he only said it to make her feel better about herself because she had been feeling really down. I wasn't really comfortable or okay with that. He downplayed how much they talked, and said he would never Skype with her because, given everything else, he understood that it would make me uncomfortable. A couple weeks later he confessed that he was Skyping with her, but they were just watching Netflix. I asked her prior to him coming clean, because I had a gut feeling he was lying, she lied to me and claimed they hadn't.
I am not fully okay with this friendship continuing. He has crossed lines with her, not involving physical contact but lying about how much they talk, how they talk, and the sexual nature of their conversations.
I have told him that I am not at all okay with the fact that she says such incredibly disrespectful things about me and he either agrees with her or says nothing. He says I have no business trying to micromanage his life and friendships.
He says I "obsess" about it because I think about it whenever he calls me stupid or dumb, and I've tried to tell him that all I'm asking for is for him to tell her to cut the poo poo and to say nothing if she can't say anything respectful about me or our relationship, and I would then be able to let it go. As it stands now, she has called me a oval office, said awful things about me, and all he has done is either agree or say nothing, so I am stuck thinking that he believes the same things about me that she does.
So, I guess what I'm asking is, is this okay? Am I making a bigger deal of this than what it is? Am I just trying to micromanage a completely acceptable friendship? I know that when my friends have said disrespectful things about him I have told them that it isn't okay, and they can dislike him all they want but it's lovely and disrespectful towards me when they say things about my partner. Is it micromanaging to ask for the same from him?
TL;DR: My boyfriend's cross country friend says extremely negative and disrespectful things about me, he has agreed with her or said nothing. Am I crazy for being mad and simply trying to micromanage his life and friendships?
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Oct 14, 2016 15:30
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Me (20f) with (36m). He has a daughter around my age and it turns me off?
quote:
Met this guy online dating. We immediately hit it off. Most of the people I match with online my own age the conversation is boring or they just immediately try to get into my pants.
I've always been attracted to men significantly older than me but have never actually been with one. He's good looking, smart, etc. He even offered to pick me up and drive me to work so I didn't have to catch the bus. Which I thought was so nice even though I declined.
Anyway, we exchanged numbers. The conversations have been great. He calls me beautiful. And I really wanted to take him up on the date he offered. Until I find out this one thing, he has an 18 yr old daughter.
Now I have nothing against kids or men with kids. If his daughter was younger I'm not even sure it would bother me. But the fact that she's so close to my age, kind of grosses me out. Like he's basically trying to get with someone (me) who is his daughters age.
Basically what I want to know is am I being stupid about this? Should I go on the date and pursue this or just bow out?
tl;dr; Met an older guy online dating. It turns me off that he has a daughter my age. What do I do?
So I like older guys but I don't want guys with lots the experiences and outcomes of living so many years before me. This guy seems like a keeper because he offered to give me a ride. We also haven't met. Help?
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Oct 14, 2016 15:40
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I was going to ask how old she was when her dad abandoned her, but it turns out she hasn't even dove face first into a terrible relationship with this guy yet, what's even the issue? I met this guy and some (unchangeable) aspect of his life turns me off completely, what to do, should I date him anyway?
If you did not read the comments then you have correctly predicted that she does not have a dad.
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I think finding out his daughters age just emphasized our age difference to me. I don't have a dad but if I did and he started dating someone just 2 yrs younger than me. I'd be creeped out.
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Oct 14, 2016 16:14
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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That situation sucks but enjoy your free rent and be happy knowing if your sister tries to kick you out you have a hella leverage.
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Oct 15, 2016 01:20
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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And she started as a side piece.
Under the condition that she was a virgin.
This guy is a piece of poo poo, but besides that they are not well matched and only were together because she got pregnant. Time to move on.
Also lol @ "we found out she was 8 months pregnant". If only there was a way to notice before 8 months!
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Oct 16, 2016 15:45
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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People are terrible (if true)
quote:
We purchased my house a year ago, just after we found out my husband would be relocated cross country. We fell in love with the house immediately. It was once a church (built in the mid 1800s), but was converted to a home in the 1970s. We have a huge yard which borders the town park, we are only two blocks from the schools, and the house features a ton of beautiful architectural details. It was shuttered back in 2000 when the old owner was put in a nursing home, but didn't get put on the market until last spring, after the owners death. We bought it in March, and hired contractors to do some necessary construction to fix problems from it being unoccupied so long. My husband lived in a hotel room in the meantime, but the kids and I didn't move until summer when school ended and the bulk of the construction was finished.
We had no idea that the house and property have been popularly used as though they were public property for the last fifteen years.
The first hint of problems was the contractor told us people kept wandering into the house while it was being worked on. He was so bothered that he put up aggressive "No Trespassing" signs. My husband felt these were too alienating (after all, we want to live in this community), so he removed them. When he moved in, however, he found people peering through the windows on several occasions, wanting to see what we were doing with the place. He hung heavy curtains throughout the downstairs.
In the period he was living there alone, he heard voices outside one night, and came out to find a group of eight men smoking on our patio. When he questioned them, they said it was tradition to smoke and sober up there after hitting the local bar. My husband told them they absolutely were not allowed to sober up outside what will be our child's bedroom. The next week, they came back (drunkenly saying they forgot when asked to leave). My husband installed motion sensor lights before the next week, and when they were suddenly flooded with lights, they stood outside yelling and cursing.
Another time, a woman I met in the community asked to see the inside of the house. I was showing her around and showed her the renovations we will be doing to the kitchen. She started crying, saying it wasn't the kitchen she always envisioned in the house, and that I was ruining her dream home.
Our lawn was in terrible shape, which we attributed to neglect. My husband started work re sodding it. A day or two later, neighborhood children were playing on the freshly seeded lawn (and on my kids swing set), and we asked them to stay in the town park area. A parent started yelling at me that it was unfair my kids could play on my property, but her kids couldn't.
Then, Fourth of July there was an event at the football stadium (a block walk from our house). We went with the kids early in the day, and came back to cars parked on our lawn. Not just one or two, there were easily thirty cars parked across our lawn and driveway. We called the cops, and the local policeman basically told us that "everyone" used our lawn as overflow parking, and that it would be like this every Friday through football season. He seemed to think it was no big deal. We pushed the issue and he half heartedly told a few returning people that it was now private property, but he left with dozens of cars still parked there. The lawn afterwards was destroyed.
We added more motion flood lights. Around the perimeter facing the street, we added a three foot rock wall and pine trees. It's pretty, and it prevents people from driving on the property, (but still allows parking along the side of the street). Along the lawn facing the park, we are installing a trellis that we plan to plant with roses, but makes it so there's a visible divide of our property from the edge of the park.
The response has been terrible! Part of the rock wall was knocked down by a guy in a truck during a football game. We had our trash cans spray painted. The play set has been graffitied with drawings of penises and lewd phrases. (All this reported to police, who either won't come take a look at the damage, or chuckled at us on the phone)
When we take our kids to the park playground, parents have told our kids to go back to our lawn, that the park isn't there for them. My oldest child is bullied at school by kids saying we have kicked them off their land. I've met new people, only to have them go "oh, you're the folks who bought the old church" and refuse to associate with me.
I don't want to be a social pariah, but I want my property to be MINE. How do I solve this?
tl;dr My neighbors treat my home and land as public property, and I'm facing social stigma and vandalism.
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Oct 17, 2016 18:52
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I would probably not eat brownies that guy made for me even if they looked hella tasty.
C'mon, who you kidding?
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Oct 17, 2016 21:07
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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This relationship seems destined for success.
quote:
I'm (29m)a viet dating a black girl(25f) who accused me the other night of liking her better with curly hair because she is appears weaker.
We've been together for about 3 weeks. She got her hair straightened 3 days ago. This is the first time I've seen her with straight hair. This came completely out of left field for me and I was a little offended but assured her that I like her for her personality so I would like her no matter how her hair is styled. But she seemed genuinely upset at the time. Is this a cultural thing? Was it something I said?
As a side note: The other day I asked her if she liked my haircut in a video text and she sent me a video saying she didn't and that I shouldn't have cut my hair. I replied back sarcastically "man stop talking poo poo😂😂" because I thought she was kidding. She told me later that night if I don't want her opinion don't ask for it. And I was thrown off but later she said oh I didn't know you we're being sarcastic but I thought it was pretty clear that I was?
We've never had problems before this and we get along great so I'm trying to figure out if I did something wrong. Thanks guys
tl;dr: My girlfriend recently got her hair straightened and after got upset at me for liking her better (as a person) with curly hair than with straight hair. I am not sure what happene
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Oct 17, 2016 22:05
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Yeeesssssss, here is the good stuff
quote:
Should I (F 40’s) tell my friend that her (F 40’s) new appearance change is unflattering and will hurt her upcoming job interviews, and if I so, how do I tell her without hurting her feelings?
I have a new friend, (1 ½) year, I value her friendship and in no way want to upset her.
She moved to NYC 2 years ago as her company moved their headquarters here from Boston. So she is normally conservative. She is the #2 finance person in her firm, reports to their CFO, makes 250k+.
She is attractive/pretty/conservative dressing/style.
We had lunch yesterday, and she shaved her eyebrows and has either tattooed or inked in eyebrows above her real eyebrow line. They look terrible/weird/unsettling/freaky.
The ink/tattoo wasn't "reshaping" over her natural brow line, the new ink/tattoo was above her natural eye brow line.
I have no idea what she was thinking or why she did this.
Because I’m a senior executive in a major ad agency in NYC and hire high level managers, she asks me about interviewing advice, both content and context.
We are soon going to go shopping for the right “interview’’ suit, (I suggested St. John’s) and the right bag, (Tory Burch), but none of that will matter now, because of her face/what she did to her eyebrows.
I feel disingenuous giving her interview advice NOW because no matter what she wears it doesn’t change the problem she created. She will be interviewing for CFO and senior finance positions.
I’m in shock and genuinely concerned but I don’t want to overstep and ruin a relatively new and nice friendship.
How would you handle this?
tl;dr New friend shaved her eyebrows and inked them in, going on interviews which I know will end badly because of this new look, she is asking me for interviewing advice, we are clothes shopping for new interview suit, should I say something about her eyebrows & and if so how?
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Oct 18, 2016 03:45
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Just Normal People on the Internet.
quote:
My boyfriend is a great guy. We've been dating for 3 years next month and have gotten along very well. I trust him, I love him to pieces and I feel like he does the same.
My issue here comes down to his fetish. It's a really soft kink in my opinion, not intimidating or off-putting in the least, but it's the severity to which it owns his life. He's in to a very specific kind of socks, in only one color. He's very particular about the shape, height, cut, fabric, etc but once those needs are met you don't really have to do much else to get him off. So long as a girl is wearing socks to this specific preferences he's as aroused as possible, they don't even have to do anything.
He told me this on our first date after becoming official. We were at a mall and he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he had a thing for these kind of socks. I was like drat wow getting straight to it, but I also found it kind of cute. He's a quiet, serious guy and knowing he had such a weak point was admittedly interesting.
Well, I obliged and quickly learned how severely this fetish takes over his life. Hes obsessed, he knows he's obsessed. Neither of us really know what to do about it. I have no issue with it in bed, I'm fine with wearing them and watching him get all hot and bothered, I'm used to wearing them to work(we work in different departments of the same store) and flashing them every so often to get him a little riled up. We've built a so far successful sex life together, and hes been equally supportive of my own kinks. But that's not enough for him. He'll be satisfied for a while and then while we're cuddling bring up something about how he needs more satisfaction. I'll try and spice things up with his fetish(videos, sex positions, other nsfw things), but it always hits a plateau.
Apparently it's the candidness that gets him going. He needs to see a girl wearing this who has no idea he's into it. In discussion he suggested me learning to play with my shoes so that he could come across me doing it without my knowing to give him the same effect. I have and it worked well, but again it's plateaued and he's lost interest. He'll ask me to tell him stories about my socks and I have idea what he wants me to say? He doesn't want to ruin it for himself by explaining it either so I can't really figure it out. When he talks about his fetish he always uses girls. Its almost never "I want to see you in these socks" but "I want to see a girl in these socks." Maybe that's normal but it feels like I'm less of his partner in this and more a replaceable girl.
He's not shy about telling me he wants to see other girls wearing them either. I mean, it's normal to want to see what you find attractive on other people, but this has only really become a topic when he's become less and less satisfied with me. During cuddles or sometimes in casual conversation he'll go "I want to see other girls in these socks, but it never happens." If I express negative feelings about that he'll usually laugh it off like my feelings are cute and say something like "it's normal to feel this way about a fetish. You know I'd never leave you for it." But I'm starting not be so sure. He's even asked me for a threesome where another girl simply wears the socks around. One time I even stupidly made the mistake of suggesting that maybe my childhood best friend would be up for taking some pictures of herself in such socks and when I sobered up he was hooked on the idea and kept trying to get me to trick her(without her knowing it was a fetish or else again it ruins the fantasy) to take photos of herself in them. I turned it down and he was unhappy but he didn't fight me on it.
I've noticed when he sees a cute girl he'll glance at her feet first and then her face. Most people obviously don't think much of it but it doesn't sit right with me. Again I know he can't help this much as it's probably something he does without consciously deciding to, but is more evidence that he's looking for fap material in other girls! My roommate even brought up a story with me that she just thought was weird and funny about how he told her something was on her shoes and she pulled up her pantleg to look, but nothing was there. She doesn't know about his fetish and just thought it was a weird moment, but I knew she was wearing some of my socks because our laundry gets mixed up and that he was looking for a show. I asked him about it and he firmly denied it, which sat poorly with me. I have more examples but I don't want this to get too much longer.
It is important to note though that he's admitted from the start that he masturbates only to candid memories. Meaning that nothing I do with him is in his mind, simply memories of girls slipping off their shoes in high school or rare moments where a girl in public has such socks on. There was even one time where I was wearing them and his friends girlfriend was also wearing them and because she was new and unaware he was eying her up and horny as hell. We had a big talk about it and he told me he couldn't help it and that in the end I'm the one he comes back to.... I don't know, man.
I trust him to not cheat, but as he's wanting more and more and realizing that I can't provide it I'm beginning to worry if there's a timer on this relationship or not. Aside from this big issue there's nothing else wrong, we have great chemistry and I feel like it's worth some effort. I'm just not sure if I can plausibly do anything. I've talked with him about it and hes guilty but can't seem to help himself either. I asked him if he'd be able to date me if I didn't supply to his fetish and told me he didn't know... His fetish has been with him since as long as he's been able to get aroused and has been his main sense of attraction to women his entire life.
If it's worth mentioning he dated only one girl before me and she almost fully refused his fetish but he still stayed by her until she dumped him. He also was a virgin until we met, and had almost 0 contact with girls romantically or physically until he was 23.
Tl;dr: boyfriend has a very specific fetish and keeps needing more and more until one girl isn't enough. Not sure if I can save it or if i need to just move on.
Edit:
She even described the socks in the comments. I thought she was just using a stand-in or they were fishnets or thigh-highs or something, but nope. Just super boring but specific socks.
quote:
Short no-show type socks that end right below the ankle. Gotta have a specific curve to the top, gotta be a certain tightness, needs smooth texture and a thin seam. Also on a size 8 or smaller foot?
Lockback fucked around with this message at 15:22 on Oct 18, 2016
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Oct 18, 2016 15:19
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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He likes big butts and he cannot lie. Due is legit.
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Oct 23, 2016 00:25
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Me [28 M] with my Employee [28 F] of 6 Months, Am I Being a Jerk?
quote:
I have a relatively new employee working for me, and she does a relatively good job. Although she does get distracted.
This is a super small office, only three employees. When I get stressed I physically show it. I pace around the room, I shake a bit, but I get things done and I'm productive. I don't usually say anything to anyone else, I just keep at my work.
Whenever this happens, she'll make a comment like "You're making me nervous with all of that pacing" or say something like "Calm down, take deep breaths." I never respond, but this is my way of letting off the nervous energy. It happens about once every two weeks.
Her comments only egg me on. Earlier today, I was stressed and pacing and she commented on my pacing again. I told her to leave it alone, and my boss said that I wasn't being nice.
I don't want to be that way, but our office is relatively low-drama and I feel like this behavior is drama-seeking. Like maybe she get entertainment from it. We're not a very social office, but she's a very social person and sometimes tries to start conversations when I have my nose to the grindstone. I don't want to have her start commenting on it every time I stress out.
tl;dr: I blow off steam sometimes by pacing while I think. I don't like it when my employee comments on it. Was I being a jerk?
I pace manically around my small office when I am nervous and agitate/shake. My new coworker wanted me to stop acting like a Spaz so I snapped at her and my boss told me I was being a dickhead. Is she a drama-queen or what?
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Oct 25, 2016 16:23
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Here is a good case against a Hillary presidency, what with her bleeding all over priceless heirlooms and whatnot.
My [24 F] close friend of three years [24 M] ended our friendship because of my period
quote:
Well Reddit, I'm pretty mortified about posting this, but I'm so utterly confused by this incident that I need some fresh perspectives. Sorry for the length.
So anyway - Jake and I have been close friends for about three years. We met working at the same coffee shop in college and remained in the same city. We don't hang out as often as we used to anymore, but it's still great catching up and hitting the bars with each other every once in a while. Our relationship is completely platonic. Jake is gay.
Six months ago Jake and I went out for a night on the town. He offered me his couch to crash on for the night so I could sober up before driving home in the morning. I thanked him for the offer and I crashed.
Eight a.m. arrives and I get a frantic call from my friend who's crying incomprehensibly over the phone. I'm pretty concerned so I shoot Jake (who hasn't woken up yet) a quick text saying that I needed to rush out of his apartment, but thanks again for letting me stay over. I hop in my car, drive over to my friend Hannah's place. It turns out that she has had a messy fight with her boyfriend and they've just broken up, so I just hang out with Hannah for a bit and comfort her.
Then I go to the bathroom after feeling "off." It turns out my period's come a week early, and my underwear had a bit of blood on it. Enough to be noticeable, but not an awful amount. I sheepishly tell Hannah what just happened, she laughs and hands me a tampon. I assume that my period has just started and after checking around Hannah's floor, where we had been sitting, to make sure there weren't any stains, I go right back to comforting her.
So maybe it should have occurred to me to ask, "Jake, did I leave any stains on your couch?" at this point. It didn't, because I was too focused on Hannah. But LUCKILY for me, about an hour later Jake sends me a stunning barrage of texts calling me disrespectful and disgusting for bleeding on his couch and not telling him. I obviously had no idea. So what do I do? Take responsibility for bleeding, offer to clean the couch or pay for its cleaning or even to replace the entire couch itself, apologize, and tell him I just hadn't realized I had bled on it because I hadn't even anticipated my period coming early. Jake never responds.
This is where it, to me, just gets bizarre. Jake tells a bevy of our mutual friends that he wants to end our friendship with me because of "my disrespectful actions." He shows them the texts he sent me. According to my mutual friends, what they told him upon seeing the texts was something like "Jake, we actually can't believe you would send that to her. You sound insane in these texts, and she obviously didn't do it on purpose. You are being an rear end in a top hat." Jake apparently got huffy with them and said, "really? You think I'm being irrational here?" I think, maybe my girlfriends are being overly sympathetic because they're women. I want to understand why Jake would be so upset. I tell my boyfriend and his friends what happened. They are also all aghast and think Jake is crazy.
Again, Jake never responded to my apology. I sent him 10 apologetic texts, telling him I was also open to having a conversation and hearing him out about what upset him, and how I could be a better friend to him, until I decided I need to let him have his space. I ask our mutual friends, "Maybe Jake has wanted to end his friendship with me all along, and just needed a reason why? Maybe he doesn't think I'm a good friend or something?" Hannah and another girl told me, "Jake called you one of his best friends literally three days before this incident happened when we were hanging out with him. And then he told us he was excited to see you and that you were an awesome girl." So maybe I can rule that theory out lol.
It has literally been SIX months Reddit. I find this whole thing absolutely bizarre. Jake, for the first two months, completely ignored me when he saw me in person. Then, for two months after that, would hug me and say hi every time he saw me in person. Tbh I was so weirded out by this that I didn't even pull him aside to ask what gives, so I was friendly and cordial back though kind of unnerved. Then, last month, Jake removed me from all social media. But still says hi to me when he sees me in person and seems friendly.
Honestly, I don't even know what I'm asking here. I guess my questions are this: 1) does anyone know what exactly would compel Jake to act like this, given that he has no history of treating me like this during our friendship? 2) did I actually gently caress up really badly? Should I have taken more steps to rectify the situation? Maybe Jake really loving loved that couch and I committed a mortal sin there. 3) Just...what? I told Jake I was open to having a conversation with him and said I was sorry. Then offered him money to clean OR replace his Ikea couch. I honestly don't understand his actions after this entire incident.
So I'm sad. Sad about the end of the friendship, but also just...confused. This was so inexplicable. I keep racking my head for times I was a bad friend that would justify Jake's behavior - I'm sure I have been, I'm not perfect and I recognize that and would like to work on it - but am I still right by saying this was completely out of nowhere? Tbh though, after this, I'm not trying to be friends again. I just want some insight from other people, since Jake refuses to have a conversation with me.
tl;dr: Accidentally had my period on my friend's couch. He freaked out, I apologized, he's acting weird. Can someone help me understand his behavior? And did I actually do something really wrong?
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Oct 26, 2016 17:10
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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lol what a loving butthole. i bet it's audio gear
Nah, nerdier. I bet it was a drone.
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Nov 1, 2016 04:15
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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The best way to teach your son how to manage his money is to strong arm his friends into covering for him.
My 21M BF's 21M Friends dad 50M? is asking us to pay for his sons beer because he bought too much and won't take the beer back... we don't want it.
quote:
Bit of a confusing title, sorry about that. Names changed.
Basically on Saturday night my BF invited his friend Jim over because I was going out to a Halloween party. Plan was for them to play a bit of Xbox and have a beer or two. Jim shows up with 32 beers, way too many! My BF tells him this but he shrugs it off and I leave. They have a takeaway and Jim pays. Jim leaves at about 12am as he was falling asleep on our sofa. They drank like 2 beers each.
Me and my BF aren't big drinkers of beer, so my BF asked Jim if he was taking the beer home with him as we don't really drink it and also he paid for it so it's his, Jim said "no it's okay I don't want it."
Edit: So Monday comes along So, on my way home I get a call from my BF saying Jim and his dad are at our house but by time I get home they're gone.
My BF tells me what happened. Basically Jim has been spending too much money lately and his Dad has taken control of his finances. His dad feels that he spent too much on beer and wants us to pay for it all. He told my BF to transfer money right there and then but luckily my BF doesn't know his online banking details as I sort all the finances out. I told my BF to pay for his half of the takeaway and to tell Jim to come pick the beer up as we don't want it, we didn't ask for it.
Jim's Dad says he's going to text my BF an amount he wants him to pay (I'm unaware of the price right now but will update on that when I know) I don't want to pay for this beer, I think he should just collect it and that's that.
I know people will just say oh it's not that much money but we didn't plan to purchase 28 bottles of beer and it's the expensive stuff too.
I'll just add that Jim isn't really bothered about the money and it's all fuelled by his dad.
Tldr: BFs friends dad is demanding us to pay for the beer his son bought to drink at our house, they don't want the actual beer of which 4/32 were drank and want the money instead, I think they should just take the beer back as we don't want it and didn't ask him to buy that many...
I'm also upset they turned up unannounced and tried to pressure my BF into handing over money.
What should I do if they insist on money?
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Nov 1, 2016 14:48
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I love everything about this one.
My [19F] two (now ex) partners [21F][35M] want me to pay them for possibly giving them an STD.
quote:
This is very difficult for me to explain, and I'm not exactly feeling rational, so please excuse me if this all comes out as a ramble.
Recently my two partners have been tested positive for chlamydia. They began to show signs around the same time of each other, while I didn't show any symptoms. Despite that I still went to the doctors although I have yet to get my results yet.
Although my partners, L and J, are polyamorous and practice BDSM (meaning they sleep with a number of people, without protection) they both insist that it was me that gave them the chlamydia. I cannot dispute that outright as there is a possibility. But one woman J slept with right before they started having symptoms keeps dancing around the subject of getting tested. She keeps putting it off or making excuses.
L unfortunately, due to the infection, was diagnosed with pelvic inflammatory. She is worried she will be infertile forever.
Because of everything going on, the stress and the lovely situation, L has asked me to pay a large sum of money to both her and J. Not altogether, but each. I am talking upwards of $100. She says this is the only way I can begin to rebuild her trust.
My only setback is... how do they know that I was the one who gave it to them? If I were to have been the one to give it to them, they would have been showing signs much, much earlier, wouldn't they? They both started getting the symptoms at the same exact time, a couple days after introducing a new girl into the relationship. But they've completely put the entire blame on me. Despite the fact that J sees other girls without condoms, and never once asked if I was clean or tested before so I assume he doesn't with other girls. I should mention that I haven't slept with either of them since they saw the new girl as I was on vacation.
J has been a little rational in this, but L is livid with me. I am close to quitting my job over this. My suicidal ideation is through the roof.
TL;DR: Ex-partners want me to pay them compensation for possibly giving them chlamydia. I'm not even sure if I have it, yet alone gave it to them. I don't know what to do.
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Nov 3, 2016 14:57
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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I think we might have a nice bumper crop coming up
my [17f] boyfriend [16m] is scared of Hillary Clinton winning the election
quote:
hi reddit! excuse any formatting issues, i'm on mobile and this is my first time posting ever. i'm 17f, bf is 16m, we've been dating for 5 months (friends for 8 months beforehand, so we've known each other for over a year).
let me get right to the point: my boyfriend is absolutely terrified of Hillary Clinton winning the election. it's because of the tension between her and Russia, how she wants to go to war with Russia because it'll raise money for the Clinton Foundation, and the fact that this war would probably be nuclear. i have no idea if all this is correct; i follow politics, but not as closely as him. he's read most of the leaked emails and he's just super paranoid.
he's gotten in these horrible depressive episodes throughout the final months of campaigning, where he tells me he doesn't want to live anymore because the world is going to poo poo and he's going to get drafted when we go to war with Russia. i can calm him down from these, they usually take an hour to meditate through. but they're really disheartening to witness. i want him to feel safe and happy. so much so that i have prayed a lot for Trump to win, just so he can be at peace about all this. but i know prayer is going to do very little, if anything, unfortunately.
so my question is this: if Hillary wins, how am i going to comfort my boyfriend? i know i can just be there for him, but i'm afraid that he might be inconsolable. to add onto that, he gets really distant during his depressive episodes, so what if he gets even farther and i can't comfort him this time? this may seem like a non-issue to others, but this is a very big deal for my boyfriend.
any advice is appreciated, thank you so much for reading!!
tl;dr: boyfriend is scared of Hillary winning election, he gets in depressive episodes because of it, i don't know how to comfort him if she wins.
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Nov 8, 2016 22:34
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Not election related, but this woman seems like a rationale human being.
Me [27 F] with my mindfulness group facilitator [31 M] met yesterday afternoon, I think I made a huge mistake playing hard to get!
quote:
Hi. I honestly think I met my soulmate yesterday afternoon at a mindfulness workshop I attended. He was the facilitator .. our eyes were locked almost the entire time and I kept making him blush, I'm sure I was blushing a lot too. He was basically caressing me with his eyes, I could see / feel it .. I just felt so connected to him but mostly his headspace, we have so much in common mentally it just was overflowing because we both obviously find eachother attractive too. So .. before leaving he said .. 'everyone leave your email address so I can send you the videos if you want ..' i didn't leave mine! I'm sure he thinks he'll never see me again but I plan to go next week. I hope he asked for my number then, I am almost certain he proposed leaving email addresses so he could contact me. At this point I'm embarrassed about him seeing through my foolish game. I am hoping that he likes me enough to look past it. My heart is really burning for him, I can't believe I walked away from things like that!
tl;dr: burning desire for mindfulness teacher, he asked class for email addresses and I didn't leave mine, playing hard to get. I feel regret! I am going back next week and Ill see him, I hope he asks me out, I'll be heartbroken if he doesnt. What do you think?
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Nov 8, 2016 22:39
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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US Sexual Education in full display!
My [21] gf and I [26] can't do anything sexual even with spermicide, condoms and birth control all at the same time, even oral.
quote:
So my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for about 5 months now and this is an issue that's been fairly regular. She used to stock up pregnancy tests which I thought nothing of. Apparently when we first started fooling around she was buying plan b (even when we were using condoms and birth control) and she was buying it after every time anything would happen even oral or if I touched her)
After she got more comfortable she told me about her fears and anxiety about it and that she would like if we used spermicide as well and of course I agreed.
Now at this point she won't even touch me because she's afraid she will get precum on her even though we're using spermicide and birth control even though we aren't having sex and I'm beginning to have a really hard time with it because she refuses to seek any help for her anxiety and just shuts down.
I really feel like things with this girl would be perfect if we could work through this but I firmly believe that sexual health is important when it comes to a long lasting relationship. At no point have I tried to force sexual advances on her at all so that isn't an issue I'm just at a loss with what we can do to seek help for this as it seems we are out of options
TL;DR girlfriend and I can't do anything sexual even with all three forms of birth control every time even during oral
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Nov 14, 2016 17:24
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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Nobody has any idea what happened because you got an account from a total stranger posting on reddit for relationship advice.
Is he a player? I don't understand his end game.
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Hi everyone!
So, I [22 f] can be a bit clueless with dating and boys and I would really appreciate some advice. Basically, about three months ago,I moved to a foreign country and broke up with my boyfriend (dated about 9 months). Since then, I've kind of wanted to be single and enjoy myself a bit. Recently, I figured I could probably hook up and not get too attached, since I've been enjoying being single so much, so I made a tinder. However, I have very little tinder experience, so I'm not really sure what's considered normal.
So about two weeks ago, I matched with this guy [26 m]. We started texting a lot and seemed to get along really well. He's actually a pro athlete (which is why I'm extra skeptical) and just got traded to be here, he's from my original country too.
So we met a couple days ago and had a fantastic date. Really good chemistry and he turned out to be really cute. Right after the date, he started texting me all this really cute stuff, like I feel like I'm high off of meeting you and when you kissed me goodbye I felt like I saw the world in color. He always sends me good morning and goodnight texts and we've been texting each other until we fall asleep for the past week.
So the thing is, we met on tinder. I don't even have a bio, I thought it was pretty clear what I was on tinder for. It's not like he had to romance me, I was already in. Now I feel like he's adding in emotions when I was trying to keep this emotionless. And now I feel like I could fall for him, but I'm not sure if he's just playing some big game. I guess I don't understand why he would add the emotional stuff unless he meant it, but at the same time, he's an attractive professional athlete, so it's hard to take him at face value.
tl;dr: I met a guy on tinder and don't understand what his end game is.
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Nov 15, 2016 02:03
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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This one is sorta funny but also sorta sad. I went into it laughing at the idiot manchild who can't deal with his fetish and ended up really sorry for the woman consigned to her fate.
Me [25F] with my husband [27M] 10 years, recently discovered he has a fetish and I don't know how to handle it.
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Clarifying really quickly that we have not been married 10 years, that's how long our relationship has lasted so far.
I don't know where to start, to be honest. A little bit of this is just to get it off my chest because the topic is very sensitive and I can't talk to anyone close about it for his sake - so random strangers on the internet it is, I guess. But here it is: The husband and I have been dating since high school. We got married recently (last year) and it came up around 6 months ago that he's into ABDL (for those of you who don't know, that's the fetish/lifestyle for adults who are into being/pretending to be infants). It's not really anything that super affects our relationship - he doesn't ask me to do anything I'm not comfortable with - so I thought I was cool with it. A little weird, yes, but I love this man so whatever.
Fast forward six months. I'm in grad school and it is extremely stressful. Husband has gotten more into the fetish community and I have gotten more and more uneasy about it. It finally blew up recently when he said something along the lines of being worried that he might be bi/gay because he would be okay with being with a man if said man was into the same fetish. IIRC, this came out because we haven't been having sex as much and it's...a little bit of a turnoff to think that your partner is more into other things than you.
Clarifying: I don't care if my partner is bi. It was the idea that this fetish was so important to him that he was seriously reconsidering his sexuality + his later admittance that he's had to think of his fetish during sex that freaked me out. No one likes feeling like they're some sort of marital duty.
Cue more than a week of me having moodswings, panicking, going through the five stages of grief, etc (bonus: I had a test to study for during it orz ). I was/am still an anxious mess. I was/lowkey am terrified of everything from 'he's going to leave me for some other fetish person' to 'I'm just a cover for him.' Then it was 'I am trapped in a loveless marriage' to 'I am undesirable to the person I love most in this world.' And now...
Now seeing anything related to his fetish makes me anxious. I can't pass by the baby section of a grocery store without feeling a little sick. I love him but the idea of intimacy makes my skin crawl after all this.
We have talked about what we're going to do. We both want this to work - we haven't been together for around a decade because we hate each other. Plus...neither of us will benefit if we break up. In the most practical sense, I get a roommate who wakes me up on time (regular alarm clocks do not work at all, I could sleep through a bomb) and makes sure I eat decently, he gets a roommate who nags him into cooking healthy meals and helps him with getting through another round of school. Not to mention that whatever else, neither of us wants to leave the other high and dry, and we're probably stuck together for the next year or two anyway.
'So why are you asking us for help?' I just...I'm hoping someone will have some advice on how to hang on for two more years, or how to get over my aversion, or just...when is the appropriate time to give up and make an OKC account, I guess.
tl;dr: Husband recently discovered his love of 'being a baby' fetish. I thought I was cool with it until bad feels poo poo happened and now I've developed an aversion/phobia to it. We love each other and want the best for the other, but I don't know if I can continue this relationship. Bonus round: from a lifestyle standpoint we're going to have to stay together for the next year or two anyway.
Eh, at least she's still young.
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Nov 17, 2016 20:07
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 13:02
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- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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This is better
My [19F] FWB [19M] won't commit
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A few months ago, I began dating someone. We got physical quickly (which wasn't an objectively bad thing) but ended up only hooking up whenever me met. After about a month, we decided to stop dating because we didn't feel connected. Some stuff happened in between, but we decided to be friends with benefits for the remaining weeks before school ended. Ironically, I felt like we got closer in that time than we were when we were dating.
Over summer, I missed him and realized that I wanted to try dating again. When we came back to school, I asked him if he wanted to try (told him we could try it, didn't have to be exclusive unless we were feeling it). He said he did not want to commit to any commitment now or commit himself to anything in the future.
I was pretty bummed, but also confused. When we hang out, things feel natural, and we always have a really good time. We have our inside jokes and we have awesome conversations about our beliefs and dreams (wow, this sounds so cheesy as I'm typing it out). In the past when we've gone long periods of time without seeing each other or so, he's usually pretty enthusiastic to see me, banters like we usually do, and seems enthusiastic to initiate things again.
I could continue to hook up with him, but I'm not sure that I want to put myself in the position of seeing someone when he won't commit (i.e.: why would I want to spend my time with someone who doesn't already realize my worth? haha) But, I do still miss him when I don't see him and I feel like he does, too, but won't say it.
tl;dr: Dude won't commit, does this mean he's definitely just waiting for someone better and I should stop seeing him asap?
Help Reddit, this guy has made it clear he wants nothing but a no-strings-attached relationship. Why won't be commit to me?
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Nov 17, 2016 20:19
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Sep 29, 2016 17:05
