/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

My neighbor (40s m) keeps being a busy body whenever my housemate (26f) and I (23f) go outside.

quote:

I'm a young professional living just outside a small city in the US. I rented out the whole bottom level of a house that has been split into two separate apartments. Me and my upstairs neighbor Claire (who rents the top floor of the house) each have our own space, except for the lawn and porches which are shared.

I quickly became friends with Claire after moving in, she was super sweet and welcoming when I moved to a city where I hardly knew anyone. We spend a lot of time together and she's introduced me to a bunch of her friends too.

We like hanging out outside since the summer is beautiful here. We grill dinner outside on the weekends, have bonfires in the fire pit sometimes and hang out and drink around the fire, we both sunbathe and read in the yard often. We have friends over sometimes too.

It's the perfect living situation, having my own space but also having a great friend close by.

Except... Our neighbor to the right, Dylan. He's an insane busybody and it's driving Claire and I up the wall.

Over the last few months, he's...

Told us off for sunbathing in bikinis in the front yard, saying we should be ashamed of ourselves since there are a lot of families with kids nearby.

When we've had friends over and they've parked in the street, which has public parking, we caught him putting homemade flyers under their windshield saying that this was a residential neighborhood, and that they'd be towed if they parked in front of people's homes again. (Any legit towing company wouldn't tow them, everyone parked legally, and I figure that's why he just left flyers with empty threats.) A couple of our friends were annoyed at having their cars touched.

We do anything outside and he will stare which is honestly kind of creepy, being eyed by an older dude day-in and day-out

We have fires (legally) and he comes over and complains about the smoke

Someone drove a loud motorcycle through the cul de sac a few times and he assumed it was one of our friends even though it wasn't.

He complained about the grass in the yard being too long, which is against some rule. And I said that by my lease, it's the landlord's responsibility to maintain the yard, so he should call him. But that hasn't stopped him from telling me to cut the grass, complain about weeds, etc. Each time, I tell him that he needs to tell my landlord if he has a problem with it.

He has a family but from what I've seen, his wife is very quiet and keeps to herself with the two young kids a lot.

I'm just getting so fed up, and kind of creeped out because of how much he's staring. Recently I've started wearing noise cancelling headphones when I come and go from my house, and ignoring him when he yells stuff over the fence when Claire and I are hanging out, but that's honestly made things worse. What can Claire and I do?

tldr - being driven up the wall by a busybody neighbor.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 06:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 18:29

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

My (26M) fiancee (26F) 3 years relationship is having conflict with my mother and also wants to invite a ton of random questionable people to our wedding who I don't want there

quote:

My fiancee Ella and I met three years ago at an alumni mixer at our college. The only conflict in our relationship has been due to her travelling so often for her job (she's an epidemiologist) and my desire to stay close to my family. My fiancee comes from a broken home and doesn't entirely get how important family is to me.

This has become an increasingly difficult issue as we plan our wedding, which will be in April. Originally, Ella wanted a small wedding of 25-40 friends and family. I agreed to this at first, but after consulting my mother who wants to plan the wedding I realized that we would have to plan for 100-125 guests to include my parents' extended family. Ella was hesitant at first but agreed after I explained how important family is to me.

To accommodate the change of plans, my parents offered to pay for all wedding expenses besides the bridal and bridesmaids dresses. Ella and I had planned to pay ourselves, but she agreed to this. My mom also made a few suggestions, which seemed reasonable since she is paying. We moved the venue from the church my fiancee was confirmed in to the the community church my family goes to, and moved the reception. Ella was fine with all this, saying she only wanted to "marry the man she loved and look good doing it."

Recently there's been a little conflict between my mom and Ella. My mom went to the fitting and thinks that the dress Ella picked out is inappropriate since it's red. Ella refuses to compromise on the dress, and it's already been fitted and ordered so it can't be changed now and my mom is a bit disappointed about this. For her part Ella is disappointed about the menu for the reception since she's from an Asian culture and my parents didn't include any of her entree suggestions, but I tried to explain that this makes sense since no one at the wedding besides her and the one sibling she's kept in contact with are from her culture and they wouldn't like the food.

The big issue though is the guestlist. Ella insisted that she invite enough people to fill the bride's side, saying she will feel humiliated if it's "just my family." Some of the people she's chosen are pretty questionable though, from some high school friends who recently spent time in prison for cultivating marijuana to two guys she had a threesome in college with. She says I'm being jealous and that they shared a truly important but ephemeral moment of oneness due to being high on LSD at the time.

She also wants to invite ten people she met at a conference for her research a couple years ago. I don't have a problem with them personally but the last time we went to dinner with them, they got in a loud argument about the life cycle of some parasite that pigs catch from bats and I don't want a repeat of this at my wedding.

And then there's my ex girlfriend from college, Amy. I dumped Amy after she cheated on me with some guy from the basketball team. She ended up getting pregnant with him and dropped out of school to have the kid. She has still contacted me a few times since then when it hasn't worked out with whatever guy she's been seeing and drunkenly tries to get back together with me or hook up. She's apparently had another kid with a different guy since college too. I do not want Amy at my wedding, especially bringing her kids and who knows what other guy she's currently seeing. Amy and I are not friends and I do not want her at my wedding, but Ella seems to think that means I'm not over her and is annoyed at me. Her logic is that I was with her for more than a year so she was an important part of my past that I should be comfortable acknowledging, like she is comfortable with those guys from her threesome. I think this is beyond ridiculous but I cannot seem to reason with her.

I just don't get why she is inviting all these random people. They are not from her family and most of them she's not even close with. I've made it clear what my problems are with each one I have an objection to but she doesn't understand the issue and they remain on the guest list and I'm worried that any day she could go and mail off save-the-date cards to all these people I don't want at my wedding.

Finally there's a potential conflict with her maid of honor and my best man. For her maid of honor she chose a friend who's highly involved in social activism and got arrested at a BLM protest in our city a couple months ago. My best man happens to be a cop. I don't know if he was involved in her arrest or if he was even on duty at that protest, and I know she has the right to choose whoever she wants as her maid of honor, I just feel like it could end up being a bad decision.

So those are all of the things that have been coming up and I feel like it could all explode at any moment. How can I stop this from getting out of control?

TL;DR fiancee hasn't been getting along with my mother who is trying to plan our wedding and is also set on inviting a bunch of people who have no reason to be invited. What can I do to get through to her so that she changes this behavior?

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 07:41

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

MarcusSA posted:

Holy gently caress why is he marrying her? Lol

That�s probably worse vs inviting an ex haha

I was wondering why she's marrying him, when he's going along with everything Mommy Dearest wants and doesn't give a poo poo about his fiancee and what she wanted. I don't blame her at all for inviting these people, given that every other choice she made was revoked by his mum!

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 08:56

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for not caring about my wife's injury.

quote:

so my wife (26f) and her friends decided to do a 4 day Vegas holiday, she saved up heaps of money to blow on the poker machines and picked out some super sexy outfits.

I'm 27m

3 days into the trip her and her friends decided to drive drunk and they managed to get themselves into an accident, all 4 of them where extremely over the limit and it looks like my wife's friend might be getting jail time. (she was the driver)

they wanted to drive to this new bar that had opened.

my wife's court date is soon

she managed to break her leg and has been relying on crutches to get around.

I've told her that I'm glad she just broke her leg and did not die, but I offer no sympathy for your injury.

she is mad that I dont care about her and think that I'm being incredibly mean.

AITA?

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 11:20

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA for getting rid of wasps against wifes wishes?

Kill the murder buzzy things..... wasps have no place existing except to terrify people.

Evil Willow fucked around with this message at 12:49 on Jul 27, 2019

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 12:46

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for refusing to spend the night with my boyfriend until he changes his bathroom routine?

quote:

My boyfriend and I (I'm female if that matters) have been together 1 year. We live 40 minutes apart. When we spend nights together (up until last week, 5-6 nights a week) we spend them at his place because he has dogs and it's a closer commute to work for both of us. His commute is 5 minutes, mine is 10.

Three weeks ago I switched jobs and now we both start work at 7 am (I can really walk in around 7:15 though). It used to be 8:30. I'm quick getting ready so I can be out the door in 20-30 minutes. This means I'd ideally wake up and shower at 6. My boyfriend though, wakes up at 5:40 and doesn't get out of the bathroom until 6:20. Every single day. That's fine. Not even an issue, still time for me to shower and get to work.

Except. For whatever reason. And I will never be able to understand this.

He doesn't shower until 6. Ever. Never ever.

But he turns the freaking water on at 5:40 when he goes in the bathroom and let's it freaking run until 6 am. He uses the time to trim his beard (every freaking day), go pee, wake up, check his phone, whatever.

Which not only is a tremendous waste of money and a loving strain on the environment, but it means that my showers are ICE COLD. I've complained a billion times. He says that it's his routine and he's been doing it since way before he met me.

He basically said that if I don't like it, wake up and take a shower before him. Which would mean waking up a full hour earlier than necessary considering there is plenty of time to get ready after him.

I complained about it for two weeks, then woke up one week ago today and checked for hot water and it made me so mad that he'd done it again that I told him that I'll no longer be spending the weekdays with him because I'm not going to continue to inconvenience myself and start every morning off of a bad note with an ice cold shower over something that could easily be fixed.

I offered to spend Friday and Saturday evenings with him, but have made it clear I'm going home every Sunday afternoon. For a week I've stuck to this.

He texted me this morning telling me that he's looking forward to seeing me today but that he thinks I'm being very overdramatic about the situation and need to get over it before I ruin our relationship over something "so stupid". So he thinks it's my fault.

I plan to spend tonight and tomorrow with him and go home on Sunday just like I did this week.

AITA?

Tl;dr: I refused to stay with my boyfriend until he stops wasting all of the hot water in the morning. AITA?

I'd kill him just for wasting that much water! WTF????

# ¿ Jul 27, 2019 13:17

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for telling a friend the truth?

quote:

My wife and I got divorced 2 months ago. I was hanging out with a female friend last night. She asked me the truth why our marriage fell apart. She really wanted to know the real reason and specified multiple times. I�m in my mid 30�s and so is my wife. I told my friend that I�m making more money as time goes on and my wife�s looks are diminishing as time goes on. I�m bringing more to the relationship and she�s bringing less. I want a partner that can bring enough to the relationship that I feel like I�m getting a fair trade. My female friend told me I need help and walked out. AITA?

# ¿ Jul 28, 2019 04:03

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for taking a girl�s virginity and then ignoring her afterwards

quote:

I�m really confused right now.

I have a Tinder profile and I made it clear on my bio that I�m only there for hookups. So I matched with this girl. I shoot my shot, one thing led to another and we had sex.

So I thought that was it. I got what I wanted and I assumed she did.

Except she was texting me for a whole week about wanting to meet up again. I just rolled my eyes and didn�t even bother responding. It got to the point where she was raging pissed. Sending me voicemails about how I�m just like �every other guy�. That I used her like a piece of meat. And that I was the first guy she had sex with, and she only did it because she thought I would be the one.

I eventually just responded saying that I made it clear on Tinder that I�m a one-night stand kind of guy and blocked her. But I�m just confused where she get the idea that what we did was�special�. And I�m not sure if I�m still TA for taking her virginity that way even despite my warnings on Tinder.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2019 10:42

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

I [26F] Didn't get an invite to my SO's good friend's [29m] Wedding. Kind of confused.

quote:

Hey Reddit, I could use some help here, I�m a lurker but finally have my own post to share and get some unbiased insight on.

My SO Alex and I have been together for 6 years. We don�t live together because the cost of rent in insanely expensive, and want to purchase our own house instead of renting a shack for 3K a month. This isn�t uncommon in our area and most people of our age do this.

He has a close group of friends that goes back to childhood. There are probably 12 people total in the group, all men. I have known all of them since we�ve started dating, so I�m not new to any of them. I get along well with everyone.

One of Alex�s friends, Brian, is getting married next weekend. He sent out the invitations in May, and I noticed that it was only addressed to Alex on the front, not to me. There wasn�t any RSVP information on whether it was only for him or him plus one, so he wrote back letting them know he was going, but asked if I was too. He didn�t hear back.

Last week, I asked Alex if he could ask again if I am going or not, because it was getting close and I wanted to know instead of being in this limbo. Alex asked Brian and Brian said he had to run numbers cause they were close to max, but would check. Last night, Alex texted Brian about something not wedding related, and Brian responded back basically saying, �hey I�m so sorry but we�re at max capacity for the wedding so Katie (me) can�t go. Sorry bro if anyone drops out last second I will let you know.�

Alex read it to me as soon as he got the message and we had a general conversation about weddings and wedding etiquette, and that's all we spoke of it.

I found myself not being able to sleep last night because this was sort of nagging at me. Alex�s friend group�s girlfriends and wives (only 2 are married) were invited, so why wasn�t I? We have been together longer than anyone else, even the couple-to-wed themselves. Won�t it be awkward for Alex to be on his own at his friends wedding? I can't help but feel like this is personal either against me or Alex. It just seems weird and I can't shake this feeling.

I should also mention that the wedding is local, not destination.

I don�t want to talk to Alex about it because I�m sure he will think I am trying to guilt him for going to the wedding, which I don�t want to make it seem. But it doesn�t seem like he really cares that I am going or not. It�s more of a �oh, that sucks�. But, it is bothering me more than I thought it would and I just don�t like to feel left out. Even if he did call and say �we have room� this week, it would make me feel uncomfortable being there when I know I really wasn�t invited to begin with. Also, WHY?! Is this normal for weddings nowadays? am I overreacting? Is there some hidden cutoff I don't know about? It makes me feel like if I was ever invited to a wedding, I don't want to bring Alex because I'm not supposed to... like I was making a mistake all the times I brought him before.

Reddit, any advice for this silly situation? Thanks.

Edited to add: I believe my SO's ex is going. They were together for 4 years in high school and she's recently started dating another friend from the group. She and I are cordial when we've met and I have nothing against her. I don't think he's trying to get back with her. This girl doesn't know the bride. ALSO< after asking around, about 3/4 of the SO's invited have NOT met the bride.

TLDR; My SO of 6 years got an invite to one of his good friends wedding, he didn�t get a plus one. SO doesn't seem to care. Everyone else got an invite but me. Feeling left out and don�t know how to make light of the situation.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2019 08:41

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for being ok with my parents( and family) not attending my wedding because they won�t accept my friend

quote:

UPDATE: First off I want to say thank you for all the lovely comments, and for people taking the time to weigh in! I tried to keep up with them all and I just couldn�t, so I�m so sorry if I couldn�t get to your comment!

Just to be very clear, I was not asking if I am rear end in a top hat for standing up for my friend, I stand by my actions 100%. I am trying to figure out if I should have done more to convince my parents to come rather than simply accepting they won�t be there.

I am going to take the advice many of you have suggested and have another sit down with my parents and reiterate my feelings. I will be firm with them and remind them that they are welcome to come but that if they do I expect them to be kind and courteous to all!

I will do an update when I speak to them, thank you again reddit x

I (28F) am marrying my fianc� (32M) in March.

I was in my parents home recently and I was telling them about our wedding party, which is going to include a male friend of mine as a groomsman. For some background. This male friend, we�ll call him Stephen, went to high school with me and is a post op trans man. My fianc� said he�d love to have Stephen as a groomsman, and i asked Stephen and he was delighted!

Then, I told my parents, and they were like �oh we didn�t realise she (yep, she) was going to be actually in the wedding. She�ll be in all the photographs, we don�t think that�s appropriate� So I was obviously instantly mad.They then said that they weren�t going to be comfortable attending and being in all the photographs with her (yep, her again), and that I would need to remove Stephen from the wedding party if I wanted them to come to the wedding.

So I basically told them that if they weren�t comfortable they didn�t have to come. I left, came home and immediately transferred them the money for the wedding dress. I then get a phone call from my mother telling me that they will pay for the whole wedding if I remove Stephen. Basically bribing us. I just told her I needed space and I hung up.

That was 3 days ago and I haven�t spoken to them. I�m shocked because they have never spoken ill of Stephen before,! I�m upset that they would show so little respect to someone who is so important to me. I am also upset that they have so little respect for me that they think I would turn my back on a lifelong friend for money.

I don�t know if I should speak to them in a few days when everything has calmed down, or if I should leave it to them. A few people I�ve spoken to have said I�m being a bit of an rear end in a top hat because they�re my parents, and they have a right to an opinion even if it�s something I don�t agree with. That I�ll regret them not being at my wedding and that realistically it will ruin our relationship. I�ve had aunts and uncles calling me saying that this will tear our family apart and I�m being selfish. A cousin texted me to say that I�m choosing friends over family and that she and her parents won�t be attending if my parents aren�t, and the same for other members of the family. So it�s basically blew up into this huge deal where a good portion of my family will likely not attend either!

My view is that I don�t think it�s selfish to want to celebrate my day with everyone I love. I feel like the ball is in their court and they have the choice to come or allow their bigotry to stop them attending their only childs wedding!

Also to be clear I am 100% not removing Stephen from my wedding or taking the money, I�m not considering either option (my fianc� is in full agreement). But I just want to know if I�m the rear end in a top hat for so easily accepting that my parents (and by default a lot of my family) won�t be coming to my wedding?

# ¿ Jul 29, 2019 09:26

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Long-term boyfriend doesn't like my recovery weight

quote:

Sorry if this is somewhat long and poorly written, tldr at the bottom!

So I, 27 (f) have been with the same guy more or less ever since I was 16, he's a year older. There was a one and a half year period where we weren't dating, but we've since reconnected and have now been back together for 2 years.

The issue at hand is that I've struggled with a very ugly mixture of bulimia and anorexia for many years, I can't even remember when it started. I've sort of 'always' been underweight, to the point where friends and family told me I looked sickly and were genuinely worried about my health. For safety reasons I won't name any numbers, but I was unhealthily underweight.

Anyway, over the past year I've really been taking therapy seriously and have been working on myself. Along with a much needed change in the way I think came a noticeable increase of my body weight. I'm not anywhere near overweight, but I do have hips and breasts and thighs now, and my stomach is no longer concave- and you know what, thanks to an incredibly awesome therapist and the support system of friends and family that I am lucky to have, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as I thought it would. The disordered voice that tells me I need to be thinner, thinner, thinner is still there, but due to the amount of love people have shown me and the hard work I've done with my therapist- along with a solid portion of luck- I am able to silence it most of the time.

The boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship (his choice, he wanted to study abroad so he did). I went to visit him in another country for 10 days recently, and was happy to see him as I had missed him badly. There were a few moments when he commented oddly on my body that felt weird ('I can see the bulge of your tummy' after a steak dinner, me wearing a thin t-shirt) that I chose to ignore, but one evening he just flat out told me that he prefers me thinner. I didnt know what to say. I felt like he had shoved a dagger straight into my heart (sorry if this is dramatic). I had never felt so ugly in my life, all of my acceptance of my new healthy body just left my head. He suggested I should lose weight, but told me I didn't have to do it by puking and/or restricting excessively. I felt so hurt, misunderstood and offended- we've had countless conversations about my eating disorder, he knows all the facts, he's had all the triggers explained to him, I've even told him if this makes him uncomfortable and he wants to leave, I completely understand- and he still says something like this.

Unfortunately, it's hosed my brain up good and proper. I've contacted my therapist to set up another appointment to 'minimize the damage', the next appointment is in 2 months. Meanwhile, the eating disordered portion of my brain is having a field day, like a kid left unsupervised in a candy store. Bulimia and restricting are just running rampant and I feel completely out of control. I've tried to explain this to the bf and ask him to not say anything about my weight in the future, but he just won't listen, he says he should be allowed to voice his preferences about my body.

English isn't my first language, sorry about any mistakes!

Tldr: I love this guy, but he is unsupportive of my recovery. Any advice on what I could do? Am I overreacting because I feel distraught at his reaction?

quote:

Edit: thank you guys so much for all the comments. It seems that I am not crazy/overreacting, which is an incredibly calming thought. As for ending things, I completely see where everyone is coming from, so I decided to make one last effort at explaining how eating disorders work and how his comments affect me, and if that doesn't hit home, I will prioritize my health over my bf and break up. Health is more important! Also, I appreciate every single comment, your feedback has really cleared up so much for me. All the best to all of you!

quote:

Edit 2: honestly, I'm so overwhelmed with the messages I've received. It will take me some time to respond to all of them, but please know that the amount of support I've received is so heartwarming, and tells me that I'm not crazy, I'm allowed to prioritize my health. Each and everyone of you: thank you. So incredibly much. Even though I haven't replied directly, I'm so thankful for the support. Keep being awesome, people of this sub!

Put the edits at the bottom, it was initially Edit 2 -> Edit -> Main post and that just bugs me!

Edit: Spoilered text, bf is an arse

Evil Willow fucked around with this message at 08:51 on Jul 30, 2019

# ¿ Jul 30, 2019 08:46

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for telling me GF that if she dies I'll put up her kid for adoption.

quote:

Not much of a context here. I'm dating a girl (F25) whose a mother of a 4 yo. We live together in my apartment so yeah I'm introduced to her kid's life.

So last night when we cuddling on bed we were talking about death and stuff like that. She asked me out of a blue what would I do about her daughter if she died. I looked confused and said "I guess she goes to your parents or I don't know<gigles> foster care. She stood up and that startled me. She said " really?". Then she got up and said that she was spending the night with her daughter.

I still can't believe she expected a different answer. I told this to a few friends and most of em said that I was an rear end in a top hat for saying that. Really?

AITA really?

Yes. Really.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2019 07:29

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

GF doesn't want me there when she's hanging out with male best friend

quote:

Throwaway bacause GF knows I'm on reddit. My GF and I (M) have been dating for about 2 years. We're both late twenties. She's the love of my life and ever since I saw her I knew she was the one for me. Our relationship is absolutely fantastic, and even though we don't live together officially I'm at her apartment most of the time. Lately I've been thinking about asking her to marry me, but there's one thing that bothers me so much that happened and because of this I'm not sure what to do.

GF has a male best friend. This guy (I'll call him A) means absolutely the world to her and to be honest, I absolutely hate him. Bit of background: GF went to study abroad for 2 years when she was in university over 10 years ago. First year she lived with a local family, and A (he's 3 years younger) became her "brother". They got along really well, both parents worked so they spent a lot of time together. After a year she moved out but they continued to hang out often (also at her place even though that's not normal in their culture). When she told me this I wasn't happy (didn't let her know though), because she was in university and he was only in high school, just imagine a 16/17-year old living with an attractive 19-year old woman...

Fast forward to now. Since he lives on the other side of the planet I've never met him. She sees him about once every two years but they text and call all the time. I don't know what they're talking about because I don't understand the language. She says they just discuss his and her work, movies or shows they watch at the same time (they plan this), food, everything really. She repeatedly tells me they're just really good friends and she gets annoyed when I bring it up. This guy got really succesful the past few years and he probably has a couple million in his name now. I know he bought an apartment worth at least a 3-4 million a year ago. Girls basically throw themselves at him and he has a couple of million followers on social media. I'm pretty sure he likes my GF.

Three weeks ago A told her that he has to go somewhere about 500km from here for work, and she immediately began making plans for us to go meet him (he apparently even offered to book her a fancy hotel room in the same hotel he's staying at). GF says that I can come with her if I want, but only for drinks, she wants to have dinner with just the two of them. Her reasoning is that she wants me to meet A, but she also wants to just talk to him because they only see each other every once in a while and will feel awkward because we don't share the same language and she doesn't want to translate everything thus "taking away time".

I feel really disrespected that she chooses another man over me and basically dumping me. I've tolerated her calling and texting him so often (even when I was over at her place) but I don't want her to meet him alone. She absolutely blew up when I told her this, telling me I don't trust her (I trust her but not him), and that I can't tell her who she can and can't see and that she's fed up with me nagging about him in a negative way all the time. She also said that if I was going to act like this I shouldn't bother coming with her at all because I'm going to spoil the mood.

Now A wants to take MY GF to a really expensive restaurant to "thank her for all the support she gave him" (my GF's words, again, I can't understand them when they talk) and I'm not welcome. He even showed her a wrapped present that he's going to give her (probably something expensive).

Am I wrong to ask her not to meet him alone? Am I overreacting? If she really loved me I feel she would not meet him alone out of respect for me.

Tl;dr: GF wants to meet male friend, but only wants me there for drinks and not the expensive restaurant he is taking her because we don't share the same language.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2019 08:00

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

UPDATE: GF doesn't want me there when she's hanging out with male best friend (GF perspective)

quote:

I wrote this update to show that there are always two sides to a story. My (now) ex made this post at the beginning of this week. It wasn't popular, but I wanted to share the other side as well as a lot of people automatically assumed I was cheating on him. It's going to be long. For the record: I dumped him that same evening the post was made. I only read his post after I broke up with him.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/cak6p5/gf_doesnt_want_me_there_when_shes_hanging_out/

Summary of ex's post: I have a male friend who I see in person once every 2 years and since we speak a different language I asked him for some time alone. He didn't agree.

First of all, there are no romantic feelings between friend "A" and me. I am also close to the rest of the family. I just turned 18 when I went abroad for 2 years and they treated me like their own during the homestay. I was alone in a strange country with a different language, and they made my stay feel like home. They are a second family.

I can't see "A" often. He is quite busy and since I left his country I've seen him in 2012, 2014 and 2017. The last time I took a trip back to his country and I met up with the family. For those who are still doubting, "A" and I were both single at the time, we drank (quite a bit) in each others company (just the two of us) but NOTHING ever happened. But, this is not about my relationship with A, but about my relationship with my ex. I started dating ex a couple of months after this trip.

At first he was the best boyfriend I could wish for. He worked towards his goals, treated me with love and respect and my parents loved him. He gradually started to change though. I see it now as him slowly taking off the mask of "perfect boyfriend" and revealing his manipulative insecure self. He wanted to know where I was, who I was with and what I was doing at all times. It started with him constantly texting me when I was with friends, doing groceries, on my way to work, at work, lunch... all the time. Asking to send pictures of me and my friends I claimed to be with as "proof". He always did it in a joking way and gradually it became worse. According to him this was normal and he managed to make me believe that it was.

I once sent him a photo I took that had a broken clock on the wall that showed the wrong time. He picked a major fight when I got home calling me a liar, a whore and a cheater. This was also the day that I noticed he has an aggressive side. That should have been my cue to get the gently caress out but the next day he was like a door mat doing every little thing I asked him to do, profusely apologizing for what he did the day before.

He started badmouthing friends and my brothers. Later also my parents. He was trying to isolate me from them. When he saw them he was back to the perfect boyfriend however, so everyone thought he was a really good guy. A couple of times I voiced concerns to friends and family but they were like "he's such a good guy". I don't blame them for this, because in their eyes he WAS a good guy. I found myself walking on eggshells around him, afraid that I would mention something that would set him off. But then there were also the good days, where he showed the man I though I got into a relationship with and wanted to be in a relationship with.

A couple of months ago I noticed he read my messages whenever he had the chance (when I was sleeping or in the shower), he followed me on find my friends without me knowing and he deleted names of men in my phonebook (I use my phone for work as well and there were quite a few contacts that I only use for work). We had a big fight and he got aggressive again.

I started to doubt our relationship and I think he started to notice, that's why he wanted to marry me and he was in a hurry to have a kid, to bind me to him.

Back to "A". We call once every two to three weeks and update each other on big events throughout by text (once a week or so). Ex has shown jealous tendencies towards him since the beginning and tried to limit our contact, but he snapped when we made plans to meet. Every time I got a text he would accuse me of texting too much with "A", when it wasn't even him 95% of the time. He was once even looking at memes and sending them to me mindlessly, heard the notifications on my phone and then accused me of texting with "A" when he "took the time to come to my apartment and spend time with me".

He KNEW I wasn't texting him all the time because I showed him but he wouldn't believe it because he can't read what we're texting because he doesn't understand the language. He always insisted on being there when I called "A", for what I don't know because again, he doesn't understand the language. I even gave him my old textbooks and I offered to help him learn a bit (not just because of "A", but because the country and the culture are a big part of my life) but he never took up the offer.

I asked him for some alone time with "A" for various reasons. Translating is VERY tiring and difficult, conversations take three times as long and don't go as deep, I'm not a translator and I just wanted some time with someone I value a lot as a friend. I wanted to make it a long weekend trip with my ex where he would meet "A" as well, but I only wanted a few hours with him alone. I don't think this is wrong, and I still don't think it's wrong after my ex's post and reading the comments. My ex that I was dating in 2014 met "A" in the same setting, the three of us met for drinks, then ex kissed me on the cheek and wished me a lot of fun and went to our hotel room to watch a movie. Later that evening we met up again for more drinks after we asked him to, he was perfectly fine staying in. He had absolutely no problem with it (and we broke up on good terms for other reasons a year after).

Anyway, ex would bring up "A" multiple times per day out of nowhere and the questions would get more intrusive every time (from 'how often do you text' to 'how big is his dick'). At first he wanted to change my mind about meeting him, but I put my foot down because he is important to me. He became more angry and aggressive every day (tried to force sex because I had to show him that I loved him, grabbing me so I couldn't move during arguments, throwing with stuff, he punched a hole in a wall). He started accusing me of me sleeping with "A" all those years, that I'm a gold digger because I'm just waiting to get him now that he's wealthy, I'm a whore, a slut, a liar, made racist comments about "A" and I can't even remember all the other hurtful things he said.

Last Sunday was the last straw for me and we had a big fight. At one point I thought he was going to strangle me so I got scared and let him have the win as he'd like to call it. I barely slept that night and the next day I pretended everything was fine and I went to work. At 4 I went home a little early because I knew he'd be gone, called my two brothers who dropped everything to come over, we gathered most of his stuff he managed to bring over to my apartment the past two years and put it outside, changed the locks, sent him a break-up text stating that he can pick up his stuff but NOT come in and blocked him.

Well, he DID try to come in, went absolutely nuts when he noticed he couldn't, then he heard my brothers and he did a complete 180 and tried to convince them that I had a mental breakdown and that I needed him. We refused to talk to him (my brothers wanted to beat the crap out of him though) and he left after an hour to sit in his car in front of my apartment. He stayed another couple of hours.

The next day he came to my work demanding to talk to me, but I informed them beforehand to not let him in under any circumstance. He had some sob story about me and got more aggressive the more they refused him. That evening he parked outside my apartment again (one of my brothers is staying with me). We called the cops and they would come the next day if he was still there. So Wednesday he parked again outside my apartment and the cops came over to talk to him.

He tried to call me with different phone numbers, he mailed me at least 35 times (some agressive, some acting like the bf he was in the beginning begging to give him another chance). Yesterday he didn't show up.

I found his Reddit post when I was going through my computer so that I can re-install Windows because I don't know if he did something to spy on me. He made a throwaway but forgot to delete the browser history. It makes me so angry because he's so good at acting the victim when it benefits him ("I tried talking so many times, my gf is so angry, I'm a good boyfriend, she texts him aaaaaall the time"). He KNOWS I visit here and I think he wanted me to see his post so he could say "see you are going to cheat on me I'm right".

I'm scared but relieved at the same time. I'm still heartbroken and hurt. But I'm looking forward to meeting "A", spend more time with him than originally planned and not update my ex every three seconds with what I'm doing. It got quite long, but thanks for reading. And remember, there are always two sides to a story.

TL;DR my now-ex made a post about how I was going to meet a male friend without him and pretended to be a hurt good boyfriend. In reality, he was an abusive piece of poo poo and I kicked him out of my life.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2019 08:01

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for paying off a bet to shave my head even though my wedding is Saturday? My fianc�e, my mom, my future MIL are apoplectic but they don't get the "guy code."

quote:

Using a throwaway for very obvious reasons. I guess some background is in order. I live and did wifh AZ Wildcats basketball. I'm from Tucson, got my degree at UofA and currently working on campus while working on masters.

I've been with my fianc�e for 6 years, she is from Tucson as well and I love her with my whole heart. We have been engaged for a year and wedding is Saturday. It's a smallish event and we are both on board with how the planning has gone.

Last year when I was at my enagment party I was massively drunk arguing with my future brother in law who is a huge ASU fan. I made him a bet that the Cats were 100% guaranteed to make the final four this weekend. This was August of 2018, I was so sure of it we made a video and we signed a napkin. If I won he had to wear a UofA cheerleader uniform to work and pay me $1000. If he won I had to shave my head the week before the wedding.

Well of course this was the worst season for cats Bball in 25 years. I'm devastated. But I honestly thought my future BIL forgot about the bet and it was all done. But Tuesday he showed up with my house with clippers and was like "guy code bitch" and reminded me that he would have paid off if I had won and I'm sure he would have. We shaved my head to skin, I don't even have stubble.

I showed up to the rehearsal dinner last night and my fianc�e instantly started crying and there were literal gasps among the people there. She hasn't spoken with me since and she stared daggers at me through the dinner and didn't even touch me during the reversal portion. She has spoken with me through my mom and future MIL (both of whom are equally as mad at me) and they think we should postpone or even cancel the wedding, what I did was that bad. They are also furious with my BIL so at least I'm not in this alone in this.

I know I shouldn't have made the bet but I could never show my face around guys again if I didn't pay it off and guy code means everything. When I told my mom that she said I'm a literal embarrassment to her for being so stupid. But man if I didn't pay it off I would be on her posting "AITA for not paying off a bet?"

Can I get some neutral opionion to weigh in here?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2019 06:31

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for making my kids pay for part of our family vacation?

quote:

My family and I hosted an exchange student from Prague a couple of years ago. Last fall, his family offered for us to visit and stay in their flat in Prague. I researched airfares and asked my two kids if they would be willing to pay $1000 each to cover their airfare. At first, they declined but subsequently agreed. They are 16 (twins) and have summer jobs. They each already had enough in savings to cover the cost.

We are a middle class family (maybe more towards lower-middle class). My wife has a disability so we are a single-income family. We travel for vacations occasionally and I have never asked my kids to contribute to a vacation before.

The airfare turned out to be $775 each. When I let my kids know this, I was surprised that my daughter was nearly in tears. Her recollection was that I had told her the airfare was $375. This is the cost for the return airfare - I don't know where the miscommunication came in. She is VERY fastidious with her money and this extra cost really upset her. I explained that the original amount I told them was $1000 and that this was a deal. I told her that she would have to pay the $775 or that she could not go. If I offered her a reduced fare, I would have to do the same for her brother. The trip would then cost me an extra $800.

My wife says that IATA because parents shouldn't charge their kids to go on vacation. A couple of her friends went to Europe with their families when they were teenagers and they didn't have to contribute financially. I feel that we wouldn't get to go otherwise and that most kids don't get to travel to Europe.

Reddit - What say ye?

# ¿ Aug 2, 2019 11:47

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for cutting off my friends for my girlfriend?

quote:

I have just finished my second year at university studying chemical engineering. It's one of the UK's best unis and I'm glad to be here, though its a huge amount of work. I established a friendship group when I got here, of both guys and girls who study a variety of subjects.

At the start of the year one of the girls in my group, Chloe, informed me that one of her friends was interested in me. Her name is Hannah and she is a medical student, and top of her year. My lot met up with her and her girl friends in the park. I saw Hannah and thought she was gorgeous, but after talking to her properly I really didn't want to go out with her. She was shallow, snobby and up herself. She kept bragging about how her parents were in the property business and had paid for all her studying expenses, so she didn't have to work while studying or pay back a student loan. She also talked about how some ''stupid'' people in her class should be working in mcdonalds and also how ''ugly'' some of the girls in her class were. I told Chloe I was not interested in dating her friend and she got annoyed. A week later I was told I'd made Hannah cry when Chloe told her.

In march I met a girl called Zara. She's lovely and is studying computer science while working in a coffee shop part time. Really pretty and smart, but also a really friendly and nice person and we've been dating since then.

Unfortunately a lot of the girls and some of the guys in my friendship group are strongly convinced that Hannah is the right girl for me. She's pretty, smart, comes from a well off family and has a glittering career ahead of her. She's also a spoiled bully, who has caused problems for quite a few people at uni. My friends have met Zara and are convinced that it's just a ''fling'' and that I'll choose Hannah eventually.

Zara and Hannah met on a night out, and Hannah was blatantly on drugs and started going on at me about how I picked a ''fat tramp'' over her. Me and Zara left soon after.

After uni finished we all made plans to meet soon, but I was told ''you can't bring your girlfriend'' as Hannah was coming and ''it's not fair to her''. This was too much for me and I left the group chat. A fair few of them tried to call me but I ignored the calls.

They were good friends, but frankly if they refuse to accept my relationship with a truly lovely person then I don't want them to be friends with me. Zara thinks I should reach out to them but I think it's pointless.

Have I done the right thing?

# ¿ Aug 3, 2019 07:42

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for calling out my roommate�s sister in front of an entire restaurant for using her autistic child as an excuse for her lovely life?

quote:

A little backstory:

My roommate�s sister, Donna, got pregnant when she was in high school, dropped out and never returned to get her degree. She now has four kids ranging from age 4 to 15, one of whom is �autistic.�

The reason I put �autism� in quotes is because, while he may technically be on the spectrum, he is very high functioning. If his mom wasn�t constantly telling everyone that he is autistic, I wouldn�t have even been able to tell. This kid is able to carry on complete conversations; make eye contact; speak, read and write at an age appropriate level; behave like a normal child. Etc.

She very obviously uses him as an excuse. She can�t send him to school because the other kids �bully� him. She can�t get a job because she has to be the only one to take care of him. She won�t hire a sitter, won�t work from home or do anything to improve her or her kids life and then blames everyone else.

She is constantly mooching off both her parents as well as my roommate. Recently he told me that his mom might have to sell their house and move into a rental property they own because they have been giving so much money to Donna and her kids that they can�t can�t afford to make the payments anymore.

Last night my girlfriend and I were out to eat with my roommate, his parents, and Donna/her crotch goblins. She spent most of the evening being a �Karen.� She was rude to the waitstaff, complained about her food and even had it remade twice.

Throughout the meal she kept trying to push the conversation toward her money troubles. She was obviously trying to build up this �woe-is-me� narrative about how bad her life was and I knew she was building up to ask for money after dinner was over.

As we were about halfway through dinner I innocently asked her mother if she had been picked a realtor to list her house and Donna went OFF. Apparently she didn�t know the house was going to be sold and thought that she would be given the house to live in after her parents passed away. She stands up, acting way more autistic than her child ever has, and starts screaming at her mother in front of everyone.

Amidst her ranting she says something like, �You could not care less about me. After you are gone I will have no one to help take care of child and we will be homeless without that house.�

I will admit I lost it a little bit. I cut her off and spilled my guts about what a useless human being she is and how sickening it is that she treats her family like this. I don�t think I was overly hurtful but I did give her a big dose of reality. She left in tears and now the entire family is blaming me for upsetting her.

I didn�t know she didn�t know about her mother�s financial problems and she started the scene by acting like a scumbag. I just called her on it, because no one else would, and she got upset.

AITA?

/r/relationships: acting way more autistic than her child ever has

# ¿ Aug 5, 2019 07:53

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for not disciplining my daughter for laying into a nosy woman at church?

quote:

My wife and I have one 14 yo adopted daughter, Sarah, which is relevant to the story. We recently found out that she has PCOS, which I'd never heard of before. Part of that is that she has a very large ovarian cyst that requires surgery to remove. The surgery is scheduled and happening soon. Right now, she looks pregnant, which can't be easy on a teenager.

Between this illness and life in general, Sarah can be... moody and nobody in life is immune to fits of anger. Today at church, some woman decided that Sarah was in fact pregnant, and that it was her CHANCE at a free baby. Sarah went off on her, calling her a "barren bitch", among other things, and causing a major scene that left that woman sobbing.

My wife thinks that Sarah has anger issues, and that we should punish her for not being sensitive. I don't agree.

First off, why is that woman entitled to say anything if Sarah WAS pregnant? Infertility doesn't make you exempt from social norms. I recognize that my wife and that woman have suffered, but they don't get to just do whatever. With her medical problems, Sarah will probably be infertile herself, which I think puts her on par on that point. Secondly, Sarah lashed out in a rage due to mental and physical pain while provoked by an outrageous encounter. I don't know that that's the same as having "anger issues" or a personality problem. I've had physical fights over less. Maybe that nosy woman needed to learn a lesson, and did.

AITA for letting our daughter get off scot free?

Ninja edit: Sarah will have to be on oral birth control for her entire life, and may actually lose at least one ovary in this surgery. I'd say she qualifies for infertility on those grounds. I don't know how it wouldn't.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2019 09:41

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA For laughing at my sister's 'Millionaire Dating Coach'?

quote:

My sister (F 27) and I (F 30) are very close and once a month, we embark on sisterly dates. Sisterly dates involve one of us taking the other out for dinner and then hosting a sleepover of sorts.

This month, it was her turn to take me out and and we met up last Friday to do so. However, She was acting a bit...weird.

⁃ She picked a place that is way above our usual price range but I figured she was paying so why not?

⁃ She dressed really fancy and went all out with her makeup.

⁃ When we got to the place (a steakhouse) she started speaking to the waitstaff in this strange voice (basically, a hybrid of Marilyn Monroe and Betty Boop). I�ve never heard her speak like that ever.

⁃ When she walked, she strutted, the way a catwalk model would.

⁃ She sat in a weird manner that looked like she was sticking out her boobs on purpose ( her dress showed a bit of cleavage)

⁃ She kept going to the bathroom despite not drinking a lot

As we were in our cab back, I asked her what all that was about and she handed me her phone. Apparently, she found this �dating coach� online who promised to groom her on how to snag a millionaire husband. The woman is apparently an �expert� at helping women meet and secure rich men and the weird things she was doing were part of the �tips� that the coach gave her.

⁃ Going to an upscale restaurant in order to meet wealthy men.

⁃ Dressing really fancy and sitting a certain way to show off her body

⁃ Speaking in that weird manner (the lady claims that there is scientific evidence that shows that speaking a certain tone of voice makes women more seductive)

⁃ Going to the bathroom constantly as a means to show herself off and get the attention of the men in the establishment

After she explained this to me, I laughed so hard tears almost started rolling down my face. I told her that the lady seems like a fraud and that her advice is ridiculous and not to waste any more money (the �coach� charges a couple hundred dollars a month for her �expertise�)

My sister seemed offended by what I said and didn�t bring it up all through the weekend and hasn�t spoken about it since.

While I think the �� millionaire dating coach� is a fraud, I worry that I might have hurt her feelings and want to apologize. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Tl;dr: My sister is spending hundreds of dollars a month of a millionaire dating coach and I might have hurt her feelings.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2019 11:20

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

I [25F] said something really stupid to my GF [24F] by accident, now she doesn't believe I didn't mean it

quote:

Ok so I'm a dumbass. She's actually my first relationship and the first person I had sex with ever, and we are like ridiculously sexually compatible. We've been dating for 5 months now but we knew each other for 2 years as friends before that, and had already developed feelings for each other for a long while. So it definitely feels quite serious already.

Basically we were having sex, actually just got finished, and I just wanted to express how good it was, yknow? So I said 'babe, you're so good you're gonna ruin everybody else for me'. Basically unintentionally saying I'll definitely have sex with other people after her. big oof

Like 1 millisecond after saying it my brain went 'wait.. hold on a sec.. that doesn't sound right' and she was already looking at me weirdly... she said 'wow way to ruin the moment' and then kinda tried to laugh it off and I apologized a thousand times and explained I didn't mean it that way. She tried to just laugh along and play it off like she isn't bothered but she's not a very good actress and I know she's hurt. How do I make up for saying dumb stuff I didn't actually mean that way?

___

**tl,dr:** I said something stupid to my GF after sex and it ruined the moment and hurt her. How can I make things better and make her believe me?

# ¿ Aug 30, 2019 10:06

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for not appreciating that the guy I've been dating for 3 months got my name tattooed?

quote:

I'm 23F and he's 24M. Me met through common friends at a house party and instantly hit it off. We haven't yet put any labels on it but we've been dating for three months as the title says.

Yesterday (which happened to be our "three month anniversary" apparently, I hadn't kept track of it as were not boyfriend/girlfriend quite yet). He texted me saying he had something to show me and asked if he could come over and I was like "yeah, sure" he sounded really excited so I was curious what he had planned, I thought maybe he had been accepted to the course he's applied for. But you all know that wasn't it.

He shows up at my place and I instantly spot the plastic on his arm so obviously I ask what that is. He says he's gotten a tattoo to celebrate our thee month anniversary and I already felt uncomfortable there but once he unwrapped it and showed me it got way way waaaay worse. In big bold letters he's had my name (including my two middle names) tattooed with some red and pink roses around. It's maybe 20x7 centimeters large.

I got so shocked that the first thing coming out of my mouth was "you f*cking idiot" which I know was kinda rough, I just couldn't believe how he'd think that was a good idea. We could have been married for ten years and I would have thought it was stupid but after three (!!) months?? That's just crazy.

He got really angry at me, calling me ungrateful, that he'd spent so much money on it to make me happy and show me how special I am to him. I told him that tattoo is just making him look like an obsessed weirdo (once again, harsh I know). Then he called me a "stupid whore" (he's never used that sort of language with me before) and stormed out the door.

He hasn't called or texted me once since yesterday and neither have I

# ¿ Sep 1, 2019 06:15

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for not wanting my bridesman to wear a dress to my wedding?

quote:

I asked one of my best friends to be a bridesman in my upcoming wedding. The discussion regarding his outfit came up almost immediately. He seemed stoked about dressing up and asked about ideas for the dresses. I was a little taken aback by this because I never really considered having him in a dress at my wedding. Keep in mind he is gay, but he�s never dressed in a feminine way. He has been very adamant about matching the other bridesmaids. I cant stop thinking about how that would look and what shoes he would wear and all that. I almost feel bad about worrying about how my family or my husbands family will be judging him at our wedding. I know I shouldn�t care what people think about it. AITA for wanting him to wear a suit? Or should I just let him wear the dress and say screw it? Its almost 2020 for fucks sake.

Edit: I want a male fried of mine to be one of my bridesmaids, I think that term is bridesman.

We always talks about breaking gender norms and social constructs. I feel like a hypocrite saying he can�t wear a dress. Ultimately I know its my choice.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 05:44

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave my flat on our anniversary

quote:

Alright now hear me out, last week was mine and my girlfriends 1 year anniversary. I invited her over to mine, and to celebrate I made (what I think was) a really romantic candle lit dinner. Now this thing took me ages to make, 3 courses, I even made lasagna from scratch, fresh pasta and everything.

It�s probably the best thing I can make but I don�t do it often because it is a LOT of effort, I�m talking maybe around 10 hours for the whole thing. Not even mentioning the cost of ingredients which was maybe 20-25 quid, not sure exactly.

Well... she came round Saturday night and we had dinner (which in fear of sound like a bit of a oval office was loving perfect) and afterward we went and sat on the sofa.

That�s when she pulled out a present for me, now we�re both students and we�ve not got loads of cash on hand, so it�s not like I was expecting her to buy me anything, we hadn�t even discussed presents or anything beforehand.

It ended up being a watch, nothing too flashy maybe 40-50 pounds, being honest it was a nice gift so I thanked her for it. But that�s when she turned to me and said �so what did you get me�

I replied �what?� She repeated �what did you get me for our anniversary�

I told her I didn�t get her a present, this for some reason upset her, she started asking why I didn�t get her anything special? Now the fact she even asked me that pissed me off a little. I told her I put a lot of effort into tonight and that I thought that was worth more than anything I could just buy.

She told me all her mates had gotten necklaces or bracelets or whatever the gently caress from their boyfriends on their anniversary�s and that she would�ve preferred it if I�d just bought her something instead of what I�d actually done.

At this point I was loving fuming, so I just told her if that�s how she felt she should get out, so I gave her back the watch and made her leave, the next day I awoke to a bombardment of texts from her friends saying how much of a dickhead I was to throw my gf out on our anniversary. Honestly this whole ordeal has made me rethink the whole relationship, I just need to know...

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ¿ Sep 4, 2019 08:25

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for saying to my friend who used to be into me that I "wish I could find a guy like him"?

quote:

So there's this guy I've been friends with since elementary school (we're in our mid 20s now), I'll call him Matt. We're really close and share our deepest secrets, have been there for each other and stuff. Never been romantically involved though, just never saw him like that.

We did have a falling out a few years ago because he developed feelings but I wasn't having it, didn't really see him like that or want to risk ruining our friendship. Well, ironically we stopped talking for a bit since we wanted different things but eventually he came back into my life, everything's been fine...

...Until the other night. Lately I haven't had the best of luck with guys and had some lovely dates where I was hurt pretty bad. I was hanging out with Matt and venting about it, and eventually said... well, what I said in the title. I mean, that's a good thing isn't it?

Well, sure enough he was passive the rest of the night and he left without saying goodbye and now he's ignoring my calls and texts. AITA? I would have thought that's a complement...

# ¿ Sep 4, 2019 09:17

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for pranking my girlfriend with the help of my doctor friend that I had amnesia?

quote:

Im 27, gf is 22.

Got into a car accident, wasn�t life threatening but broke my leg and passed out and woke up in hospital. Only my car front bumper suffered the most damage.

Anyways, I happened to know a friend who works there as a doctor. My gf lives 4 hours away from me to attend college. My family informed her and she started to drive to the hospital (4 hr away). I was still unconscious so didnt hear this, until I regain consciousness.

At this point in time I was already awake but in tremendous pain but painkillers or idk what they did helped relieved it. My friend (doctor) came in to my room blah blah we talked, etc. I heard from him that my gf is coming to visit me. I thought it would be funny to prank her that I had amnesias to see her reaction. Since I was determined to be fine or at least everything seemed normal and I was probably able to get discharged in around 2-3 days my friend played along and also my sister who was the only family member who stayed since my father had work and was already relieved that I was fine.

So after few hours, gf got there and hear news I suffered amnesia. Did my best to act but ended up bursting into laughter after seeing her reaction.

You can probably predict what happened after that but do you guys think this is an rear end in a top hat move or thing to do? We did ended up making up though. This is also my first time getting into car acci so wanted to try to forget the incident and keep it light atmosphere.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2019 11:07

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for calling my body-positive co-worker "unhealthy, deluded, and bitter" after some rude comments she made about me?

quote:

I'm currently working part-time at a restaurant on my university's campus. I mostly work shifts with this one girl, we'll call her 'Anna', who is all for the body-positivity movement. She embraces her body type and regularly posts inspiring quotes or images on her social media accounts. Personally, I have nothing against this at all. I am also in full support of treating and accepting everyone no matter their body type. However, I do believe that everyone should be healthy (eating right, exercising, taking care of their mental health, etc) or at least attempting to be. I don't support those who use the body positivity movement to as a cloak to shield and justify their unhealthy and damaging behaviors.

However, despite being a "supporter," Anna regularly comments on my body type. For example, I always bring food for my shifts since I personally think the food there is not the healthiest (burgers, fries, more fried food, etc.). Anna will often say things like, "You should eat a burger, you could use a few extra pounds honey!" or "You look skinnier than last week. I told you to stop eating salads everyday haha." She'll sometimes even feign concern for me and ask me in private if I was "struggling with my weight" and then proceed to tell me that I look "way too skinny to be healthy." One time I was changing into my work shirt in the back and Anna saw my stomach and commented that my stomach was starting to "look like a man's." I have no idea what that even means but I doubt it was a compliment.

These hypocritical comments have pissed me off. I enjoy eating healthy and cooking my own meals and I enjoy working out and staying toned. Anna on the other hand gorges herself on the food in our restaurant, drinks about three cans of coke per shift and does not work out. I don't think this is healthy.

Finally, during yesterday's shift, this guy I kinda like came in to get some food and I was super excited to see him. He turned out to be a bit cold towards me and the whole event was a bit anti-climactic. Oh well. Anna witnessed the whole thing and after he left, she said, "Maybe he's into curvier girls." I basically blew up at her and called her out for all of her hypocrisy. I asked how she could call herself a supporter of body positivity when she regularly shamed my body. Then I told her that she was unhealthy in many ways (I called her out on her eating habits), bitter and jealous of others who are in control of their health and bodies, and deluded for believing that she is healthy and fit.

She called me insecure and told me I was being a rude bitch. It was reaching the end of our shift so I clocked out early and left so I didn't have to argue with her more. I was mad for a bit and told one of my best friends. She said that I was right and all but that I was insensitive in the way I brought it up and suggested that I apologize. I'm standing my ground but want to hear other opinions as well.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2019 12:27

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

I pulled a prank on my husband and hes pissed

quote:

My husband and I have always had a fun loving relationship. Hes always messing and playing jokes on me. So I decided to get him back tonight on his way home from work, and he was very pissed off. To the point where hes slamming doors and stuff. The prank wasnt even bad no bucket of paint or even water, he experienced no pain at all. But when I went to ask him if he was ok, he just started screaming at me telling me it was not cool, and that I have no idea what he goes through and stuff? Like where does that even come from? It was a joke. I apologized, it wasnt my intention to make him mad, but now I'm the bad guy? It's ok for him to pull pranks on me, and everyone else but we cant do it to him? It immediately went to I dont listen, and the argument got so bad that now he wants to go to counseling. Did I miss something ? How can a bad joke lead to us sleeping in different beds?

quote:

laterral
5 points
�
1 hour ago
What was the prank?

Reply
Give Award
Share
Report
Save

level 1

quote:

mdeleon810
4 points
�
1 hour ago
Lol your gonna laugh, but ugh the other night he went out drinking with his buddy and they went to strip club de ja vu and he bought a novelty toy. He was pretty drunk and came home was like messing with me with it like flinging it around and hitting people with it, so today my friend and I lol tied it to a string and tacked it to the wall so when he opened the door it swang in front of him and now hes mad.

Reply
Give Award
Share
Report
Save

# ¿ Sep 13, 2019 09:26

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Having his cake and eating it too?

quote:

Ok guys, there's quite a back story to this entire scandal but for now I'll just post the current situation.

Also, I'll be referring to the people involved as such: Myself (age 23) The main guy (age 27) - DD His girlfriend (age 24) - DDGF

Well, September 11th marks the 1yr friendiversary for me and DD becoming friends. We met through his sister last year.

(Now without getting into to much detail away from the main story I'll let you know that when I met DD I lived in the same state as him. We lived 30 minutes away from each other, and we would hang out during the week as well he'd sleepover at my place almost every weekend. That changed I moved 5 hours away this past March, but we still talk on the phone daily and skype every weekend, and I go see him one weekend every month. I'll also disclose that we've been passionately hugging since we met last year as well. This is very relevant to the story. But anyway, back to the main point.)

Today, Friday the 13th, DD and I were on the phone while he was on his way to pick up his gf who's visiting for 10 days from the UAE.

(Again, making the long story short and only giving info that's related to the story, yall should know that they've been dating long distance for 2 years and met for the 1st time in person this past May, and it's a very big secret in DDGF's life due to her religion and where she's from.)

I've been dreading today, because I know, as DD's "mistress" that my time, our calls and Skype weekends, get put on hold while DDGF's visiting and I have to be respectful of his time with her. But here's the thing, DDGF doesnt know that DD and I still passionately hug at least one weekend a month, and that I'm in love with him. Though DD, himself, if very aware of this and we have a very deep romantic relationship to the point of his mother and siblings acknowledging me and inviting me to family gatherings and big holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas for the 2nd year. And to make this an ever more stressful DD's family doesnt know that hes been in this 2yr relationship and that during this 10 days "adventure" DDGF and I get to meet in person on September 21st.

Now I'm sorry if this story is kind of a mess, its 1am and I'm rather tired, but the point is: DD is staying 10 days in a hotel with DDGF so that she can visit him and I get to meet her during her trip here and I'm completely freaking out. I know what I'd like to do, but in doing so I'll lose DD as not only my passionate hugging and romantic partner but as a friend as well.

r/relationships - we've been passionately hugging since we met last year

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 10:20

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

My crush [18F] thinks I [18M] am creepy, what can I do?

quote:

I graduated high school last spring and went to prom with a girl I really like. At the end of the night I asked her if she wanted to go out again sometime soon and she said that'd she rather be friends.

Whenever we talked after that happened, I would compliment her and really express my true affection. I told her how she's the most important thing in my life.

But then for no reason she stopped talking to me. I wasn't going to let something this important get away so easily. So I've started sending her love letters telling her how amazing she is.

I happened to see her in person today and she was very distant, so to make it better I asked if she liked the letters. She then blew up in my face saying how demented and creepy I am. But I know she's just playing hard to get.

I still love her of course, but I was wondering what I can do now that she officially doesn't like the letters. I still have a huge crush on her but she thinks I am creepy.

tl;dr: the girl I love thinks I am creepy for sending her love letters, what is the logical next step to win her back?

# ¿ Sep 17, 2019 10:30

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for calling out my sister over my goals?

quote:

Me: 22M who is an avid online gamer (4 hrs/day)

Sister: 24F who disapproves of my goals under the context of "Does it put food in your mouth? If not, why do you spend so much time on it?"

Situation:

Earlier today, we decide to order pizza (delivered to our place) for dinner. I inform her that she will have to open the door for the delivery man to take the pizza. She agrees and goes into her room.

20 minutes later, the delivery man arrives and rings the doorbell. I am in the middle of a game at this point in time. My sister comes out and decides to throw herself between myself and the monitor at which point I signal her towards the door to open it and take the delivery. She picks up the pizza and heads into the kitchen. I wrap up the game shortly (30 seconds) and follow her into the kitchen.

At this point:

Me: "Please don't disturb me when I am in the middle of a game."

Sister rolls her eyes and doesn't acknowledge what I said

Me: "Do you understand?"

Sister: "You do realize it's just a game right? It's not a life or death situation."

Me: "That doesn't mean that I can't take it seriously".

Sister continues to ignore me. I lose my temper here given the amount of poo poo she has given me over gaming.

Me: "I take my goals seriously in life. Stop being a little bitch."

So AITA Number 1: AITA for calling out my sister?

Sister: "How dare you call me a bitch? Show some respect to your elders."

The "respect your elders" argument is one commonly used by our mother (Asian) whenever she wants to end a losing discussion.

Me: "Don't you dare use mom's argument on me. I don't treat you as an elder in this house."

Cue my sister leaving and slamming her door shut.

So AITA Number 2: AITA for telling my sister that I don't treat her as an elder?

# ¿ Sep 18, 2019 09:03

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

quote:

AITA FOR RESENTING MOTHER?

Story sucks and is quite depressing, but I love the title!

# ¿ Sep 18, 2019 09:29

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for pushing for foods that myself and coworker are allergic to be banned?

quote:

Hi all! I am incredibly allergic to avocados. If I am in the same room as in that�s been cut open I break out in hives and my throat swells. I am allergic to many different fruits, but avocados are the worst.

My other coworker, let�s call him Mike, is allergic to peppers in the same way.

Most people in my workplace are very respectful of our allergies, and don�t eat anything or cut anything around us that we�re allergic to. Except this one woman, let�s call her Katherine.

Katherine regularly brings in guacamole, whole avocados, etc. she tells me just to not eat any, despite me constantly telling her that being around that is bad. I�ve had bad reactions at work because of this. Last week, Mike walked into the kitchen and Katherine was cutting up some bell peppers. Immediate anaphylaxis for Mike. Katherine was complaining about it, saying she has a right to eat what she wants where and when she wants.

Am I an rear end in a top hat if I go to upper management about it? Katherine says she has a right to eat what she wants, but don�t Mike and I have a right to not die?

The comments on this one are really.......something!

# ¿ Sep 18, 2019 10:21

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for refusing to let my wife give her last name to our future kid?

quote:

My wife and I have been married for 2 years now and have recently decided to start having a kid. We decided we only want one child a long time ago. My wife, Eve, wants to give our child her last name. I don't want this.

You see her last name is really common, think something like Smith or Brown. Meanwhile my last name is unique. It's not strange by any means it's just unique. Eve has 2 different brothers with kids and all of them have her last name. Meanwhile I have no siblings aside from my late sister who died 10 years ago to cancer. I have no family that has my last name aside from my parents. Ever since I was 19 (currently 29) I've wanted to make sure my last name carries on with my future kids. I don't want my last name to die with me.

I've told Eve this and she wants to give our child her last name. She wants to carry on the tradition in her family, meanwhile I have none. I told her I want my kid to have my last name, and she refuses to listen to me. She wants to make sure our kid has only her last name. I asked about doing a middle name or hyphenate our last names and she refuses. She also has a specific middle name that she's not budging on.

I refuse to let my family name die with me. I want to make sure it's carried on in some way. She also kept her last name once we got married because she didn't want to change, which is fine. But where I draw the line is giving our kid my last name.

I'm fine with hyphenating it or even giving him/her it as a middle name but she refuses to listen to me. This is a hill I'm willing to die on. I don't want to back down on this because it means so much to me.

Am I being an rear end in a top hat here for not backing down?

# ¿ Sep 25, 2019 08:37

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for getting angry at my dad for being homophobic

quote:

Hey reddit the other day my boomer (60M) father walked in on me(20F) masturbating to gay hentai midget porn (25M) and (23M). He (60M) proceeded to yell and threaten to beat me so I checked his(60M) white male privilege by making GBS threads in his(60M) coffee and killing his dog (7 F) which was a pit bull btw ( most minorities are killed by straight white pit bulls) so am I( 20F) the rear end in a top hat?

TL:DR I poo poo in a 60 year old man�s coffee for being racist so AITA?

# ¿ Sep 25, 2019 10:23

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

All formatting is OP's

AITA

quote:

MY FEMALE ANNA MARIA TANNER DAUGHTER OF ALTON SHERMAN TANNER AND DAUGTHER OF MARY ANN TANNER. HAS WON MY KIDS FAVOR OF ME. EVEN AFTER SHE THREATENED TO KILL THEM. Once with my first born son. and twice with my second born CHLOE. She attacked me everytime I defended myself. And she blames me for neglect and SMOKING POT as the reason to leave me. When IT was her that couldn't change a diaper neither.. The diaper ONE DIAPER didn';t get changed and it is neglect! SO BAD I cannot have my children anymore. BUT SHE THREATENS TO KILL MY CHI*LDREN AND GETS THEM. if I wasn't there then. IF I WASN'T THERE TO SAVE MY CHILDREN FROM HER.. THen I wouldn't have her nor my children... 9-27-19
THERE IS TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY.
Edit or delete this
SHE TOLD I WANTED TO RAPE MY DAUGHTER
Edit or delete this
because I said stuff dirty to her while I changed her diaper. like look at those little cheeks. but AFTER SHE TOLD THE STORY ENUFF TIMES IT MEANT I WANTED TOO in her mind.
Edit or delete this
SHe always told me what to do. and I never did anything she told me too. EXCEPT GET HER COFFEE EVERYDAY CAUSE SHE COULDN"T GET UP OFF THE COUCH. that is about the only thing I ever did when she told me to do something!'
Edit or delete this
I Don't know where to draw the lines so.. I OPEN HANDED SMACKED HER ONCE. I MEAN AS HARD AS I EVER HIT SOMETHING. But that was because she almost pushed me on top of my son while she was trying to give him Tylenol. and Yea I choked her five different times. all for different occasions. but I only choked her to know she couldn't breathe than let go. and one time she pulled my ear really hard and wrestled with me on the porch becuz I was giving my mom THis lip! and I put a cigg cherry close to her leg until it burned her withuoit touching her with it. NOW SHE TELLS EVERYONE I PUT A CIGG OUT ON HER. like come on.
Edit or delete this
WE WERE TOGETHER FOR FIVE YEARS.
Edit or delete this
That is the only occasions I ever DID ANYTHING TO HER
Edit or delete this
Write a reply...
OTHER THAN THAT SHE WAS TREATED LIKE ROYALTY.
Edit or delete this
I FORGOT TO MENTION I RAISED THE KIDS FOR TWO YEARS BASICALLY.. before she took them away because I Failed to change ONE DIAPER when she was awake the hour the damage took place. Chaffin between the legs. Probably healed by now. but that is why she left me.
Edit or delete this

# ¿ Sep 27, 2019 08:50

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Heliotrope posted:

Are all those �Edit or delete this� part of something you copy pasted or is just saying that over and over?

That was all in the Reddit post and the main reason I found the formatting hilarious!

# ¿ Sep 28, 2019 02:09

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for going off on a cat caller?

quote:

It was broad daytime, im walking home from my friends house who lives a few blocks down.

Mind you, im wearing sweats and a long shirt bc it was early in the day and i wasnt dressed in any certain way that showed my figure or whatever other reason cat callers have for these things.

A man pulls up next to me and tells me �are you gunna just tease us like that?�

I didn�t give it a second thought because i was so fed up w the cat callers that i started cussing this man�s life out. I was yelling saying �get the gently caress out of here� and �go gently caress yourself� and �you�re a pathetic piece of trash get a life you little bitch�

I�m not really sure what took over me but i guess i went off so hard that the guy ended up saying he�s joking and driving off. Was i the rear end in a top hat for being so rude and having a potty mouth in the moment? I felt like maybe i was a bit overboard but i also feel like he deserved it for harrassing a woman who was clearly minding her business and walking to her home.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2019 10:11

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

I just kicked my fiance out (update to the savings for our son)

UPDATE - Advice Wanted

quote:

So for those just joining us, my fiance, the father of my youngest (of 2) children, had told me for years that he had an account that he was putting �10 a week in for the child that is biologically related to him, to match the separate account I had where I was also putting in money for our son. Turns out he was lying. He had a couple hundred when he should have had over 10x that. His solution was to take money from my daughter, who is not biologically related to him, because myself and her biological father have both been contributing �10 a week each since I got pregnant. He then tried to guilt me into giving my son the money meant for my daughter, saying if I didn't then I would be showing favouritism, and I was stuck as I felt that whatever I did I would be being unfair to at least one person.

A short while ago I asked to see my fiance's bank statement, as it is sent out on the 30th of every month and he gets paid on the 28th. He immediately got cagey, and said that it wasn't fair as I wasn't showing him my accounts, so I used my banking app to show him my accounts, and he, eventually, begrudgingly, brought up his own. He has more than 3x what is missing from our son's savings account in his current account, plus an additional savings account with 4x that.

So essentially after leading me to believe he had put aside 3.5k for our son, he admitted he had only allotted him a few hundred, when I had actually put aside the 3.5k to combine with his. He then, instead of admitting he had NEARLY SIXTY GRAND AT HIS DISPOSAL HE TOLD ME TO TAKE MONEY FROM MY DAUGHTER TO GIVE TO OUR SON.

When I asked him what he thought he was doing he replied that he didn't see the point to creating a savings account for our son for when he turns 18 as he is currently 6. I explained the whole concept of saving up again and he repeated that our son wouldn't need the money for years, so what's the point of building it up for the last 7 years, and for the next 11.

I told him that he could have just told me this 7 years ago instead of lying to me, and he could have told me the truth any point in the last few days, where I have been tearing my hair out over what to do to make it up to our son, and he has watched me struggle over deciding what to do and dismissed me as being dramatic and worrying over nothing.

He is currently staying in a hotel, and we are officially on a break. I don't see me forgiving him any time soon but we have a son to think about so if absolutely nothing else I'm going to have to figure out how to be in the same room as him.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2019 08:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 18:29

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for telling my friend the truth about God?

quote:

So, I'm not religious myself, but my friend is a fully devout Christian. He will sometimes try to convert me with his ideologies, and I will try steer the conversation away from it. He can be a bit overbearing with it sometimes, like last week I got promoted and he said God did that for me which really felt like he was belittling all my hard work. I usually ignore this type of commentary but it frustrated me and he kept going on and on about how I should pray so that God will be more willing to reward me.

I finally snapped and told him the truth, something no Christian ever wants to hear: God isn't white. And that Jesus was actually an Arab. A jewish, dark skinned carpenter. He exploded on me and told me I shouldn't say God's name in vain (even though I wasn't). I kept trying to explain to him the historical context behind Jesus' ethnicity and he closed his eyes, plugged his ears and started shouting over me, it was extremely obnoxious. I got more upset and told him all his paintings of white Jesus in his home were a lie. This really pissed him off and he left immediately.

I felt awful but almost relieved that I didn't have to hear his bible thumping crap anymore. I respect people's religion but not when they shove it down my throat. Still, I don't know if I went too far. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ¿ Oct 2, 2019 08:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›4 »