- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Ever since the last thread /r/relationships has been a staple of my nightly bedtime reading. Thank you for introducing me Jeffrey. It's delightful.
e: whoops, beat to the punch
DOMDOM fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Sep 29, 2016
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Sep 29, 2016 15:48
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 28, 2024 03:41
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Does this count as a fetish?
Boyfriend [24m] won't stop watching scary movies and podcasts even though he can't handle them. I [23f] am tired of it and he doesn't take me seriously. Dating almost 2 years
quote:
So recently my boyfriend and I moved in together. He told me he'd always been too big of a chicken to watch scary movies when he lived alone so I said we could watch a couple together. He was seriously underestimating it when he called himself a chicken. It was cute that he wanted me to protect him at first but I tried to put the kibosh on it when it became apparent it was a problem but now he just watches them on his phone or listens to scary podcasts without me.
He needs me to walk him around our apartment at night now, turning on lights and checking behind stuff.
I have to distract him by talking until he falls asleep sometimes and he has nightmares I have to wake him up from carefully. He wakes me up to walk him to the bathroom or kitchen at night. If I refuse he'll just pee in his water cup. I've thrown away three cups now. Yes I know pee is sterile but forgive me if I don't feel like drinking out of pee cups. He'll hide under the blanket and silently weep if he wakes up and I'm not in arms reach.
He won't drive or walk at night anymore so either we're stuck inside now or we have to pay for a cab or I'm always the DD.
He was freaking out over every little noise he heard at night and wanted to buy a gun. I told him no loving way. He'd shoot me or the dog thinking I was a monster or something. I told him I'd keep my baseball bat near the bed as a compromise. I caught him trying to hammer nails into it.
He got rid of my expensive shower curtain for a cheap, tacky translucent one. He also replaced our bed frame while I wasn't home for one I hate just so there wouldn't be a gap between it and the floor. He also rearranged our living room so the couch is against the wall because he's scared of things sneaking up behind him while he's sitting there. It's a very awkward lay out now. He barricades the closet door at night. I'm a lot smaller than him and it's hard to move the dresser back if he forgets to.
I think he's had a couple panic attacks. It's like hyperventilating mixed with crying and it takes forever to calm him down. This can't be good for him.
He's jumpy to the point it's killing my nerves. I walked into my kitchen yesterday and he shrieked and dropped a glass pitcher because he'd been listening to the black tapes podcast and didn't hear me coming. Stuff like this happens regularly. He's thrown things at me when accidentally surprised. Having him scared so much puts me on edge even though I know there's nothing to be afraid of and it's draining.
He thinks it's hilarious that it bothers me. It's old. No matter how angry or serious I get when I catch him watching another one he laughs me off. It's like he's addicted to the fear now. I'm honestly past annoyance.
tl;dr: My boyfriend is a giant chicken who won't stop scaring himself intentionally and it's making me not want to live with him anymore. He blows me off when I tell him this, how do I get him to take me seriously?
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Sep 30, 2016 14:22
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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There was a recent thread in e/n about a goon with an even worse immigration "plan": http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3790937
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Sep 30, 2016 20:40
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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This is a difficult question to ask because I (35m) may be the bad guy. But I am utterly not attracted to my wife (34f) of 10 years (19 years together) because of her weight and the attitude that got her there. Is it time to split the family?
Though how the gently caress this guy sees himself as the bad guy is a mystery. It's clearly his fault that his wife his scarfin 3000+ calories of fast food garbage every day.
Counterpoint: $12 worth of wendys sounds heavenly, but she needs to step up her taco bell game to be a real competitor
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Sep 30, 2016 20:59
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Let's play guess the religion that led to this hilarity
The guy (28/M) I'm (25/F) dating is a virgin, and doesn't seem to know anything about sex
quote:
While the rest of us were out doing the do, he was in school, studying to be a lawyer. He works at a firm now, and he's doing really well for himself. We met a few months ago at a wedding. I was a singer in the jazz band that the bridge and groom had hired for the reception. In actuality I work full time as a sous chef. In any case, this guy and I really hit it off.
I honestly couldn't stop looking at him that first night. He was easily the best looking guy there, and he was quite charming and funny when we started talking.
We exchanged phone numbers, went out as friends the first five times, and then he asked me on a date. Maybe I'm just fast, but I found it odd that he waited so long. Of course, I could easily have asked him, but I honestly didn't know if he viewed me as a potential romantic interest or just as a friend, and I didn't want to come on strong either way. I took the backseat, waited for him to come around, and he eventually did.
Then, he waited five more dates to kiss me for the first time. Doesn't sound like a lot but it certainly felt that way. I figured he's just traditional wants to take it slow, which is a nice change of pace from the guys I usually date.
He eventually told me he's never been in a long-term relationship.
I thought, "No big deal. I have a bunch of friends who've never dated someone for more than a few months. Relationships aren't for everyone."
He did express interest in turning our little situation into a long-term situation. I was on board. Not only was he gentlemanly and ambitious, he was also a fun person to hang out with, and my friends really liked him.
The topic of sex came up now and then ... so to speak. But it was always in a joking manner, never anything serious. Because he had never been in a relationship, I sort of assumed he had spent his years dating numerous women, having flings and what not. I've been known to have a fling or two, so I didn't think it was a big deal. My only concern was whether he was diligent about getting tested.
I asked.
He told me, "There's zero chance I have anything, but I will get tested for you just to see."
I took that as it's been awhile for him.
I've had guys in the past get angry at me for asking them to get tested before we sleep together, so I was honestly just so thrilled that he agreed to it, I didn't even think about what "zero chance" could possibly mean.
Anyway the time came (so to speak) while we were at my place. He was spending the night for the first time. I was excited. We had only ever made out before, so it was a big night.
He arrived. We ate. We had a glass of wine, and then we took it to the bedroom.
Kissing-wise, he has always been totally fine. Not too wet, not too dry. The right amount of tongue. Everything great. But when the moment came for us to take it further, he was fumbling, apologizing profusely and making rookie mistakes. He was clearly very nervous, to the point that he actually got stage fright for a moment. I stopped, asked if he was okay, and he just nodded his head. When the time came for to grab a condom, he did, and although I usually put the condom on my partner for them, I didn't with him. I watched him do it.
He didn't know how to put on a condom, you guys. Even if you're a virgin in your late twenties, you should know how to put on a condom ... holy poo poo.
When I saw that, I stopped him, asked what was wrong, and that's when he finally told me he's a virgin.
If he had told me that from the start, I'd have been very understanding. I wouldn't have laughed or asked him why, I would have accepted that about him no problem. That said, it's his secret to tell. As long as he isn't drilling other chicks, I guess it's okay.
But the thing is, he doesn't seem to have any knowledge about sex, even the basic things that most middle school children know. On top of that, he's a man in a first world country with access to the internet. There's no excuse IMO.
First, he didn't know how to properly put on a condom. He didn't pinch the tip and he tried rolling it on the wrong way.
Second, he's never even heard of the clit. (Cry with me, ladies.)
Third, very seriously asked me "How did women know they were pregnant before pregnancy tests were invented?"
The last one was kinda funny honestly. I told him the answer. We both laughed after.
Either he was raised in a cult or he really went twenty-eight years without googling sex or watching porn. Oh yeah he's never done that either.
He told me he was raised in a very strict Mormon household, and he was never taught these things. Yes, he has access to that info now as an adult, but his relationship with sex and physical intimacy is irregular due to the way he was brought up. And he's never had a long term gf b/c most girls are turned off by him being a virgin, so he just stopped trying.
That makes sense.
That, on top of school and now work, has left him stunted in that department. In his words. He apologized for not telling me sooner and for acting a like a teenager the night it was supposed to happen, but I told him he has nothing to be sorry for.
However his lack of knowledge does concern me a little. He has his reasons which are totally fair. But like, it's just so bizarre now, like I'm constantly having "the sex talk" with my kid or something.
Help me assess this situation, Reddit. I've dealt with gaps before but this is a huge one.
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Oct 1, 2016 18:04
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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I really think this 'I don't wanna teach a virgin' thing needs to stop. People have such a diverse variety of preferences that someone with multiple partners really doesn't have nearly as much experience as they might think they do. A virgin with good active listening skills is going to be a better lay than a selfish person with ten previous partners. The problem is if the virgin is terrible, it gets attributed to their lack of experience but if a non virgin is awful it gets treated like a fluke.
I think the reasons leading up to the persons virginity have a lot more relevance than their actual virginity.
The problem here is not that mister mormon is a virgin. It is his lack of any sex ed coupled with enough inherent fear that he hasn't even been curious enough to research it on his own time.
Also, never watched porn.
I dunno sounds like he's sexually dysfunctional enough for this to be a real dealbreaker. Thanks joseph smith!
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Oct 2, 2016 06:05
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Holy moly those aspergers stories are hosed
npr had an interesting podcsst on temporarily "curing" aspergers that gives us normies a good dose of perspective
Still doesnt explain the spouses quoted here, i want to hear their origin stories. How do you fall in love with someone incapable of emotion?
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Oct 3, 2016 05:58
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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OK a little palette cleanser to get the aspie taste of sadness out
My husband [24M] came out as pansexual and told me [25F] he was in love with another person as well as me and wants to move him in with us in two weeks. I'm a mom to [2/M].
quote:
Last night my husband Danny told me he was pansexual and he'd met a guy called Jeff online who he was attracted to, he told me I could have another lover if I wanted but I said no, I'm monogamous and always will be. We have a 2 year old son.
I met Danny aged 18 and we've been together ever since.
Danny told me he was pansexual, only just realized it, and that he's in love with Jeff, and that he's met Jeff three times, as a friend, and now Jeff's in love with him and wants to move in.
I told him no, he told me that Jeff's a good guy, and that he needs to move in soon. He insists we should do it on a 90 day trial basis, said it'd work.
Also, Danny's been making posts asking for randomactsofpizza; we've had a lot of pizza delivered to our house lately here in a city in West Virginia.
It's a lot for me to take in. I love my husband, he's a great guy, but don't know how to cope with the pansexual thing. Is he polysexual or polyamorous, IDK??
Danny kept reassuring me, said it's not licence to cheat, he wanted to be himself but felt repressed.
Also I've just found out he bought me a Cadillac ATS sedan without consulting me, we've got it being delivered soon.
There's a lot of issues here and I don't know whether to go to a counselor. I need some advice before I start to worry about what happens next.
"honey i met a guy online and he's moving in so we can bang, but don't worry, he's starting with a 90 day trial."
Though reading the OPs comments I'm starting to think this is a clever troll...
in response to why Danny is moving so fast with the Jeff move in situation posted:
Beats me. But I've also seen my husband masturbating to the new Justin Timberlake video a lot whilst he watches YouTube, keeps claiming "Cristy in the video is loving hot, god, I'd wear that skirt if I could."
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Oct 3, 2016 13:55
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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the trials and tribulations of ordering pizza
Me 29F with my 31M 10 years, he insisted I take advantage of a dishonest discount deal on pizza. I didn't want to (my treat). Things got more stressful than expected.
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I was going to order pizza, he wanted me to use a discount code from a pamphlet we got in the mail. A new pizza place (same chain) is reopening nearby (not yet open) and they have a welcome code for a discount. The code happened to somehow work for other locations. (I don't think it was meant to)
I got anxious thinking that using this code with the store would be wrong, I said it made me feel uncomfortable. He said I was being unreasonable, the code works so we should use it. When I said I didn't want to do that he said "well, fine, buy my food then and nothing for you."
I tried to pay full price instead, he came over to supervise the transaction so I couldn't. He saw I was doing so, and then got annoyed and made me delete what he wanted because it's expensive, and get something cheaper. Said he'd buy it himself. At one point I tried to get the laptop away from him and there was a little struggle to delete his pizza. I said he was being unreasonable, and he said I was instead. To just use the code.
He sat down insisting I get a crappier pizza for him, and he only wants those foods if it's cheaper.
I just bought the expensive food anyway, so poo poo is about to hit the fan, I assume. It was literally a ten dollar difference, the savings of TEN dollars and I wanted to pay it myself, it felt wrong to me to take advantage. I was the one buying the pizza, it wasn't a joint account and doesn't impact him in any way. I'm considering lying when the food arrives, that I used the code to shut him up.
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Oct 4, 2016 01:44
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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This one is lengthy and not overally funny, but is a great case study in what crazy looks like
Me [25F] with my boyfriend [29M] of almost 2 years, just found an email he sent to his best friend where he described me as what "most people would think of as unattractive"
quote:
Throwaway account because he reddits and probably frequents this sub.
I have been with my boyfriend, Zac, for almost 2 years. Our relationship has been nothing short of amazing. We have similar interests, we are both very open, honest and trusting of each other and we are planning a long-term future. I won't bore you with the details, but I think we have an objectively strong relationship based on good communication, 100% transparency and mutual trust. This discovery has been a bit of a shock.
Zac and I recently started planning our wedding and engagement. We are both more interested in the wedding, and more importantly, what happens after marriage, as opposed to how elaborate the proposal is. I told him what ring I want, but I also told him that thinking about what our life will be like after marriage is more important. As a result, we are kind of planning our wedding together before we are officially engaged. He has been contacting a bunch of venues as venues in our city book out really quickly, sometimes two years in advance.
He has been really busy the past few days so I said I will do some more work on the venue searching front and compile a spreadsheet of the costs. I asked him to forward all the emails with quotes to me, but then I realised that I've been borrowing his laptop. We both agreed that it is easier for me to just browse through his emails (I think you see where this is going).
I am not trying to defend my actions, I know that snooping is wrong. We recently shared our passwords for everything and we are both very open about our phones and computers. But I guess in the most cliche way, my curiosity came over me and I searched his ex's name (he was previously with her for 7 years).
After I searched her name, I realised that it was wrong so I decided against reading any of their emails to each other. But before I closed out of the window, I saw an email from him to his best friend (who lives overseas) with both my name and his ex's name in it, sent about 1.5 years ago. I couldn't help my curiosity and opened it. Clicking on it was a mistake and inappropriate, but I found this:
"I have been dating [my name] for 5 months now. It's going really well. I really like her and she feels the same. She's very smart, I might even admit she's smarter than me :p That's probably what I like most about her. She's really into having deep discussions about all sorts of things, especially psychological things, which I'm really into as well. We have really great conversations, I just really like talking to her. In addition to smarts, she's also very caring and nice. I think most people would say she isn't very physically attractive, that's probably the only drawback. Although I actually find her quite attractive, so maybe it doesn't matter what other people think. Still too early to be thinking long term but I think both of us are very surprised by how well we are getting along so far. Overall I feel very lucky to have met her."
I know the overall tone of the message was positive, but I can't help but notice what he said about my lack of physical attractiveness. I know that I'm not that attractive, but I definitely don't think I am what "most people would call unattractive". I work out regularly, maintain a healthy diet, play sports, dance and take good care of my appearance. I wouldn't say I'm gorgeous, but I get compliments on my appearance, my fashion sense or my body on a semi-regular basis from friends and acquaintances. Some of them might be saying it to be nice, but I wouldn't say they are ALL lying.
I have always had self-esteem issues and have had a lot of trouble accepting compliments in the past. I also had an eating disorder 5 years ago. When I was complimented I always assumed people were lying. Since meeting Zac, he has consistently tried to assure me that he thinks I'm beautiful and that has gradually convinced me that I'm not physically unattractive. Hence I have become more confident and positive as a person, which is a really good change that many people around me have noticed.
Now I feel like my insecurity has all come back and I am wondering what he really thinks of me. I don't doubt that he believes I am beautiful, but the fact that he thinks I'm objectively unattractive and that it is a "drawback" worries me. I don't expect my partner to think of me as the most gorgeous girl, but what would he think of me when the love goggles fade over time? On top of that, his ex is absolutely beautiful (she does a lot of modelling on the side). I also know that when they first met, he thought she was "the hottest girl in the club".
I definitely plan to talk to Zac about this. We are both very open and transparent about everything and I know he will be okay with the fact that I read his email, but I don't know where we will go from here. Also, he is going through some important assessments and exams at the moment and they won't finish til 5 days later. I don't want to cause any stress during this period, so I will have to try my best not to go crazy over the next few days.
I know that this isn't going to be a deal breaker. I love Zac dearly, I know he genuinely loves me, and we have built a fantastic relationship. I guess I just want some outsider's perspective. Have you experienced similar situations? How could I best communicate this? How can I get over my insecurities and low self-esteem again, when they have been triggered by this?
Thanks Reddit 
tl;dr: Boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship and are planning a wedding. I just found an email from my boyfriend to his best friend saying that he is very happy he met me and really likes me. He said he thinks "most people" would describe as "not very physically attractive", though he finds me quite attractive. I had suffered from low self-esteem, an eating disorder and insecurities about my appearance in the past and now I fear they will be triggered again.
the DOMDOM tl;dr:
Boyfriend gave me access to his email to review venue quotes we got for our upcoming wedding. I took this opportunity to snoop through his email history, searching keywords like his ex's name. I know snooping is wrong and that I shouldn't do it but I did it anyway so, whatever. I found an email he wrote his best friend 1 1/2 years ago when we first started dating that laid heaps of praise on me, but one line stuck out about him being attracted to me but other people might not consider me "very physically attractive." I plan to bring this up with him because I'm crazy. Also snooping is wrong and bad. PS the ex I'm comparing myself to is a professional model.
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Oct 4, 2016 14:01
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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I vote poop fetish guy for thread mascot
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Oct 4, 2016 19:35
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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I'm the guy who wants to anal my girl and also get pegged but won't poop at my girl's place.
There's a certain dichotomy here that I just don't get.
The rest is just over the top weird, though.
And guy with masturbating tent buddy - she wants it bro, put the printer down and up your game, yeeesh. alternatively, complain on reddit and cockblock yourself for my amusement.
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Oct 4, 2016 20:50
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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She knew I admired her figure, and was always quick to let me run sunscreen or lotion on her and maybe even "accidently" grab her boob and she'd laugh and giggle and I'd run off to the nearest bathroom or portajohn to rub one out so it was quite a healthy and happy sibling relationship. I knew from careful observation and the occasional foray into her trash can and hamper that she was indeed sexually active
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Oct 5, 2016 03:24
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
TL;DR Husband wakes up at 5:00, waking me up when I've had less than 6 hours of sleep. Separate rooms, ear plugs, soundproofing, but I still can't get a full night's sleep. I am so loving tired.
My husband of 1 year, together 4 years, wakes up at 5:00 in order to be at work by 7:00; I wake up around 7:00 and arrive at work around 9:00, sometimes later. We are both in academia so our schedules are somewhat flexible if we don't have to teach a class or be in a meeting. We did not have this schedule while dating so this is a new issue.
He arrives home around 19:00 consistently and I'll arrive anywhere between 18:00 and 21:00 depending on my workload and if I have an evening class/meeting. He goes to sleep late; I go to sleep early. He can survive on 5 hours of sleep but I need at least 7, preferably 8 or 9. If I wanted to get my full allotment of sleep, I'd have to go to bed at 21:00 or earlier every night.
We sleep in separate rooms, I wear earplugs, we've put down carpets and soundproofing tape, and he is very quiet, but I still get woken up by him in the morning. (I suspect it is not noise but the pressure change when opening and closing doors that wakes me up.) I can't go to sleep any earlier than 22:00 consistently and he prefers not to shift his work schedule since I'd be asleep by the time he got home. He has tried leaving when I do but it seriously affected his productivity. Short of having separate apartments (which we are now discussing), is there anything else we can do? I burst into tears at 5:05 this morning after being woken up. I really need some uninterrupted sleep.
Brings me back to my college days when my roommate was a horrendous snorer. I adapted, but reading this seems like this poor lady has more deep seated problems. Or, crazy. You decide!
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Oct 5, 2016 03:34
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Can you guess the ages?
I [27/F] yelled at my husband [35/M] of 8 years, over dental hygiene
quote:
We have always struggled with dental hygiene. His is bad. There have been times I get into the car when he has been sitting in it alone for a while and almost throw up because it smells like something died. I started getting really naggy about it after I suffered a few gum infections and learned his hygiene can affect mine. No matter how I nagged, most often than not he would go to bed without brushing or flossing, then wake up horny and want to stick his tongue in my mouth.
Every time I got an infection I tried to explain how important it is for us to both practice dental hygiene, and every time it lapsed on his end. We would have sex, and a couple days later I would be in pain. It has gotten to the cycle now where 1 out of 3 times we have sex, I get a dental infection, go to the dentist for care and deal with a few weeks of pain. The last time was the worst with two followup visits and the possibility of a major operation happening.
So tonight when my mouth started aching and I remembered the heavy making out a couple days ago with me trying to not comment about his breath, I lost it. I sped home and I screamed at him. I yelled that his breath was nasty, that I'm tired of him sticking his disgusting tongue down my throat without bothering to give a poo poo about what he's doing to me, and that he is a complete dick for thinking he is too special to bother brushing his teeth.
He didn't say anything back. He just went upstairs and brushed his teeth with me, and the rest of the evening was spent in awkward silence.
We don't yell at eat other. This is a first. I don't want to apologize because I felt sincerely that I am at the end of an abusive behavior of his that needs to stop. I want to apologize because we don't yell at each other. Every time we have talked about this before it hasn't worked, so after all these years I felt I had to create a major incident to convey how terrible this experience is for me.
I just want him to brush his loving teeth, floss, use mouthwash. Do it a few times a day. If he wants to have sex, just brush floss and mouthwash. To me that is a very sexy thing. I'm tired of being responsible with my hygiene and suffering because he isn't. It ruins sex. I spend a lot of time in pain several times a year because of this situation. I am scared to have sex but feel guilt tripped into sex when I don't want it because marriage includes sex even if his breath is poo poo and his mouth literally hurts me.
I am thinking of setting up a teeth brush calendar per week, with 3 checks per day to check off a full brush, floss, and mouth wash morning, afternoon, evening.
TLDR: getting oral infections from husband's poor dental hygiene. After years of failed talks over it, finally yelled at him about it tonight out of the blue. Trying to find a solution that works and won't cause relationship friction or resentments.
9 out of 10 dentists agree, stop giving your wife dental infections with your rotting infectious mouth.
EDIT
Apparently this is today's theme. I had no idea this was such a rampant thing. Brushing your loving teeth just always seemed like common sense to me but what do I know.
Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of a year, should I ask him to brush his teeth?
quote:
My boyfriend showers daily and generally has a good hygiene except for one thing. He NEVER brush his teeth at night. In the beginning I thought he just forgot from time to time but now ive come to realize that he only brushes his teeth in the morning.
Now when I know what I know I feel kind of grossed out. If I'm too tired to brush my teeth before going to bed I can barely stand how my mouth feels in the morning and he lives like this EVERY DAY.
We have never talked about this ever but Ive started to avoid kissing him in the morning before he brushes his teeth and its working fine which is why im hesitant about telling him. Since it doesnt really affect me unless he breathes on me during the night or something. I also dont like it when he kisses my body in the morning since I know he hasnt brushed his teeth in 24h but I dont know if I should take up the subject or how I should approach it.
tl;dr: Bf doesnt brush his teeth in the evening, do I say something?
DOMDOM fucked around with this message at 13:36 on Oct 5, 2016
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Oct 5, 2016 13:27
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Intersex is the PC word for hermaphrodite, but it's more complicated than that. It's not black & white and there are a variety of manifestations. It's sort of a catchall for any variety of birth abnormality that includes male & female parts, be it internal and/or external.
Female circumcision is completely unrelated and done to remove all the pleasure of sex and, in many cases makes the act painful, because otherwise women would be far too promiscuous, according to backwards male dominated cultures.
NPR had an interesting podcast that featured a Pakistani woman who was born into an Islamic sect that practiced this. Trigger warning: It's sad.
DOMDOM fucked around with this message at 15:02 on Oct 5, 2016
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Oct 5, 2016 14:53
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Want to feel better about your own broken lives?
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32F with "boyfriend" for 2.5 years, and its not going well.
We have primarily a text based relationship, and only see each other on weekends. It's me going to see him, as he does not have a license. We have not said "I love you" to each other. We do not have sex, as he doesn't like it. Cuddling and kissing have ceased as well.
I tried talking to him about this over a year ago. He said he would try, nothing has changed. It was like pulling teeth getting him to talk about it.
He casually stated he is "never getting married", which I hope for someday, and he knows this.
I bought a house, and am now living alone. We have not lived together, as he's "never living with anyone".
I feel like we're only friends, if that.
How do I end this relationship? I hate confrontation and would prefer things just fizzle out to be honest.
I feel so used and my confidence has plummeted. Why have I stayed this long?
Sorry for the throwaway account- anonymity just in case.
tl;dr: Want to break up with "boyfriend" as we don't have a fulfilling relationship anymore- how?
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Oct 5, 2016 15:23
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Stay on target folks
Am I [24F] overreacting about my boyfriend [29M] leaving me at night?
quote:
We've been together for a year and we're going to move in together in a months time when the tenants in his house evacuate. We were planning on living together about 6 months ago but he had to move away for work and put his house up for rent.
He came back two months ago and has been staying at his parents house in the mean time. I'm currently living with my Dad who I dont really have a relationship with. We aren't close and don't speak to each other even though we're under the same roof. This seems to make my bf uncomfortable and he says he doesn't like being in the house when my Dad is. My Dad has always been polite to him and spoken with him when he's round and never mentioned not wanting him in the house. He knows we're together and moving in together soon. My bf also says that the house is too cold for him in the morning and he can't get a good nights rest.
As a result he usually avoids seeing me at my house on days when my Dad is home. If he does come round on those days it is for a couple hours and he then leaves to go home to go to bed. I've expressed multiple times I'd love him to stay - as we're supposed to be partners I think we should spend the nights together but he says he doesn't like staying with my Dad here and that it's too cold of a house or he can't sleep well here. He has never invited me to stay at his parents house.
I find that selfish that he is leaving me at night and it annoys me. I hate living with my Dad and I am freezing at night too but I have no choice. I don't have a nice warm house I can slope off to with parents who love me. It seems like he is choosing comfort over me. It doesn't feel like a partnership. Am I over reacting?
tl;dr: My bf leaves me at night because he feels uncomfortable around my Dad and is too cold at my house even though we're supposed to be living together. Am I over reacting?
the DOMDOM tldr
I want my boyfriend to suffer. Why is he against this? Clearly he's being selfish.
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Oct 5, 2016 23:44
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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OK which one of you is trolling over there
Me [31 M] with my GF [29 /F] accidentally broke her mothers urn, spilled ashes
quote:
I'll try to summarize this as best I can without mitigating any of my responsibility. I'll start by saying I feel HORRIBLE about what happened, and I know I'm going to be flamed in the comments. Any real advice would be greatly appreciated though! Here's what happened..
I was visiting at my girlfriends apartment yesterday as I usually do. I've been laid off work for a while, and I have a pretty bad opiate problem she is aware of. I am too prideful to ask her for money, but not prideful to steal I guess.. While she went to go pick up some food we had ordered, I took some Ps4 games, a bracelet and a very ornate looking gold vase. I loaded them into my car and got back before she came in the house, she seemed not to have noticed anything missing. I listed the games on craigslist along with the bracelet, but the vase I wanted to have appraised. I rationalized this but telling myself I would pay her back, with interest once I got my hands on some money. I always find ways, odd jobs, landscaping etc.
I ended up selling the games for 50$ and went with a friend to pick up. Friend was high as poo poo, opened the door and somehow the vase came tumbling out of the tote bag I had it in, and it smashed on the ground. Thats when I saw it, bone fragments and light gray ash. This was human ash, her mothers urn.
I immediately freaked out and tried my best to scoop the ash into the broken base of the urn, but the ground was wet. I know she would be sick knowing pieces of her mothers body are soaking into pavement. I have no idea how to even admit I stole from her let alone what the gently caress just happened.
This urn also looks irreplaceable, should I attempt to buy a new one? I know she is probably going to leave me no question, but can I be arrested for this? outside the obvious larceny charge. I know I'm a piece of poo poo already I don't need to be told that, I feel absolutely terrible. Just any advice, on talking to her and dealing with this please!
TL;DR - stole my gfs vase, it was her mothers urn. It's now broken
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Oct 6, 2016 18:05
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Here's a girl so insecure she feels threatened by an inanimate object. OK so the inanimate object is a ring containing a diamond with his dead wife's essence, but still. It's not like dead wife can use this anchor as a gateway to haunt them....
My [35M] Girlfriend [31F] uncomfortable with my wife's ashes.
quote:
going to try to keep this as short as possible. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong here.
Married high school sweetheart at age 25. She died in a car accident 5 years later. We loved to travel and so I had her ashes made into a diamond to take her with me on my adventures. Her ashes along with both of our wedding rings are on a chain I carry in my pocket on my adventures. Helps me feel close to her. I will always love and miss her, but I know she would want me to be happy and find love.
I've been dating new girl for over a year. I dated a bit a couple years after wife's death but never found love until new girl (M). M is great, and has been so supportive and understanding of my late wife. She knows about the chain and never said it bothered her (though she neve knew the stone was my wife's ashes). I used to keep the chain on my bedpost but thought it would be disrespectful to M so it's now safe in a drawer. I still take it with me on travels.
M and I have talked about moving in together when her lease ends in 2 months. I am ecstatic for this. I want to spend my life with her.
Yesterday, I was packing for a solo weekend trip to the east coast as she was over. When I packed the chain M asked me what the other ring was (not ex's or my wedding rings). I explained that I had ex's ashes pressed into a stone and she flipped. Couldn't believe I had "lied" to her for a year and said what I had done was creepy and weird. Gave me an ultimatum, get rid of the stone (I can keep our rings on the chain, just not the ashes) or she will not move in with me. I asked if I could put the stone in away in a drawer but she said no, it had to go. She refuses to spend another night with my wife in the house and said its her or me.
Please help reddit, I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose this girl, but I also don't want to give up respect for the woman I once loved. My ex was not close to her parents so I cannot give it to them. I can't just throw it away. I'm at a loss.
Canceled my weekend trip. I just want to make things work with M.
Edit: I keep thinking to myself that making this stone was totally crazy. M told me that no girl would ever be comfortable with it and that if I keep the stone I will "be living a lonely, miserable life." Women, or men, would this be a deal breaker to you? Am I insane?
tl;dr: turned late wife's ashes into a diamond that new girlfriend wants me to completely get rid of. Don't want to lose girl, can't separate from wife's ashes. Help.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:46
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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quote:
Tell her you'll make her remains into a ring too if she doesn't settle down
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Yeah...my grandpa is on the kitchen counter and we have our dogs on the mantle. We bring their urns to the Christmas tree on Christmas morning because they always opened presents with us and we put bows on their urns because they always had Christmas bows on their collars.
quote:
My cat is in a beautiful carved box on my desk because he loves to nap there while I wrote.
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Oct 6, 2016 19:58
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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That was a year ago she's already the next ring
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Oct 6, 2016 20:10
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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.120 Vomiting usually occurs (unless this level is reached slowly or a person has developed a tolerance to alcohol).
.150 Balance and movement are impaired. At this BAC. level an equivalent of 1/2 pint of whiskey is circulating in the blood stream.
.150-.25 Most people begin to experience blackouts
.300 Many people lose consciousness.
.400 Most people lose consciousness and some die.
.450 Breathing stops. This is a fatal dose for most people.
I'd bet she chugged those 2 drinks before bed and it caught up with her when she was already passed out, but clearly the girl has some tolerance to get that high. I'm calling closet alcy and mister 37M is just insanely oblivious to all the signs.
Also, banging yoga instructor.
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Oct 6, 2016 23:08
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Me [23 F] isn't sure if step dads [47 M] behavior is normal or not
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Okay, so here's the situation. I met my step dad when I was ten, I didn't have my biological dad in my life very much growing up so I was instantly thrilled to have a "dad". Through out the years we had our struggles, but eventually I called him dad and thought of him as such. When I was about 15 is when it got a little weird. He'd get really drunk and want to braid my hair, always touching me, telling me how much he loved me.
One night, I had a really bad migraine and he gave me a shot of whiskey and laid me down in a dark room and stroked my forehead, again telling me how much he loved me. Maybe that's not so weird to some of you, but the way he went about it all really unsettled me. My mom was working night shifts then and she didn't think anything of it.
Later on, as I got older it got a little weirder. He'd come up and smack my butt in a "playful" way, try to set me up with men that were "just like him" except I was 17 and they were 28.
When I was 18 I moved out right away and moved in with my now husband. I told my parents they were toxic for me and I needed time apart from them. So I cut them off and didn't speak to them until a few months later when I found out I was pregnant. Now the way my step dad reacted upon me cutting them off was so bad my SO was even creeped out by it, saying he was acting like a jealous ex boyfriend.
A few years go by and I end up reconnecting with him. But now, I'm 23, married and have a daughter it is almost unbearable to be around him. He still smacks my rear end, now kisses my neck, insists I kiss him, constantly sending me drunk texts about how I'm the most important person in his life, how I know him better than anyone, and how he wishes my mom was the type of wife I am.
Now I don't know if I'm the weird one for thinking this is inappropriate because my mother and sister seem to think it's just "fatherly love". But since he's the only "dad" I've ever really had, I have nothing to compare it to. Am I being paranoid or is this just absolutely creepy as gently caress?
TL;DR step dad smacks my rear end and kisses my neck and creeps me out, not sure if it's just me being over paranoid or if genuinely disturbing.
Sounds normal to me.
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Oct 7, 2016 02:52
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Me [28F] with my husband [33M]: He fled during a home invasion, abandoning me and our kids [1M, 6M] with the intruders.Relationships
quote:
This is a throwaway to protect my family's privacy.
About 2 weeks ago, my family and I were watching a movie around 7pm. My 6 year old was sitting next to me and the 1 year old was asleep in my arms. My husband went to the kitchen to make popcorn for my son and I remained in the family room with the kids.
5 or so minutes later, I heard the sound of glass breaking. I called out to my husband if he was okay (assuming he had dropped a bowl) and I heard foot steps and unfamiliar voices. I heard my husband shout "there are intruders" and I immediately grabbed my 6 year old and told him to get under the table. 2 armed men entered the room and started shouting at me (while I was holding the 1 year old) to get on the floor or they would shoot me. I obliged and begged them not to hurt me or my 1 year old. They took the tv and my laptop and after 10 or so minutes, they fled.
I got up and made sure both my kids were okay and started screaming for my husband, thinking they tied him up or he was hurt. I called 911 and took the kids to the neighbor's house, still unable to find my husband. Long story short, my husband caught a glimpse of the intruders and ran out the backyard door (close to the kitchen) and left the kids and I trapped with the intruders (who had guns). When I confronted him that night, he said he ran out to try and get help.
I cannot look at him the same. I understand if I was alone, but he left our two children to save himself. I keep thinking, what if they had shot me or our sons? He says I am being unreasonable and if he had stayed, he would have not been able to do much to help anyways. Reddit, is it reasonable for me to be angry with him?
tl;dr: Husband saw intruders and decided to save himself, leaving me and our 1 & 6 year old boys held at gunpoint.
Edit: He could have taken one of the children. The family room is a step or two from the kitchen and the intruders entered through the main door, which is all the way at the end of the hallway. He could have easily had enough time to bolt into the room and grab a child. Instead, he yelled that there were intruders and he ran. In my state of shock and confusion (and not knowing how close by they were), I told my son to hide instead of trying to escape out the door.
Edit 2: He says he went to get help but he ran down the street to his friend's house, which is further away than our adjacent neighbor's house. He also remained there and came out about 20 minutes after the police arrived, and came to look for me and the kids. He says he stayed there just in case the intruders were hanging around the house.
INTRUDER ALERT
I call fake but why?
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Oct 7, 2016 14:15
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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There are intruders! Is the part that stuck out to me, sounds funny. Like video game dialog
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Oct 7, 2016 15:48
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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mods please change my name to Meaty Lower Face
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Oct 7, 2016 19:55
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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quote:
That voice he did isn't crazy or a sign that he was acting crazy. That voice was just the classic way of a male rear end in a top hat to tell you that your female emotions are stupid and worthy of mocking.
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Oct 7, 2016 23:49
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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oh wait this response is better
or possibly one of you trolling, because jesus christ this dude cannot be for real
quote:
I think we need to go back to the beginning of your post. You tasked your bf to watch your things, essentially, to caretake your easily portable items. A lot of guys do not like this sort of imposition. He's one of them.
When you asked him it's not clear from your post that he agreed to do so, but let's assume he said, 'ok.' He then passive aggressively left your stuff alone as a way of saying, "Watch your own purse, or just take it with you. I'm not your lapdog."
After you publicly remonstrated him he felt embarrassed and began to attempt to relay to you how that felt in a rather childish way. Because you were both a little drunk, nothing was communicated clearly about why he was bothered by the whole interaction in the first place and he, ironically, wanted an apology.
When he didn't get that, he began to ramp up his prodding, meanwhile continuing to drink, until he was pushing your buttons in a way he felt was commensurate. Then stuff starts to get out of hand as he begins injecting more of his actual emotional state into the interaction, relaying in an oblique manner that he is feeling overloaded by the burden of his high stress job and not wanting to be tasked any more than he is already.
Then he becomes more and more passive aggressive about what he feels you should already know, eventually leading to him leaving and expecting you to understand what he wants without telling you.
He wants an apology from you. Even though you don't feel you were in the wrong, maybe it is worth recognizing that he felt you were adding to his burdens by asking him to do something when he was 'off the clock' as a way of starting a conversation about why his behavior was not ok, and also as a way of checking in to see how he is managing his work responsibilities. It's not ok for him to take his feelings out on you, but he also needs to know that it's ok to share them. Also, he should apologize for his bullshit behavior. I suspect he will if he feels he can open up about the pressure he is taking home with him from work.
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Oct 7, 2016 23:55
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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SORRY BABE can't watch your purse while you pee, life is too hard.
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Oct 7, 2016 23:57
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Watching purses while your SO pees if very stressful work
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Oct 8, 2016 00:26
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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This is a whole lot of crazy.
Now wipe my sweaty back.
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Oct 8, 2016 11:42
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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I'm a 32 year old man sulking because my wife made a joke about my butt, AMA
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Oct 9, 2016 17:25
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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My [20 F] boyfriend [23 M] keeps insisting that I'm a size queen and I would like for us to get to the real issues.
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We are in a long-distance relationship of nearly 6 months - haven't met yet because we live an ocean apart. So throughout these past months we've sexted each other, including photos. I find him super attractive and tells him so.
Throughout this time, he has made recurring jokes about me insulting his penis size. Examples include: me saying something about small pox but typoed to small pics... and me teasing him about his headache by saying his head is too small because his brain is too big. In both examples and other silly instances, I was in no way even talking about his penis...yet he would insist that I am and would just try to trigger me. I would get that he's joking but when it goes on and on eventually I would just get serious about it and then he'd say I can't take a joke =.=
A couple weeks ago we went through a rough patch. I thought he was angry with me but it turns out he was dealing with some personal problems he didn't want to talk about. His behaviour was very cold and distant and affected me tremendously. I was hurt and confused that he was pushing me away.
Since then we got back to normal mostly, and while we were texting the other day, I mentioned that I looked at porn when we were in that rough spot. Now, we've discussed porn before. I asked him if he watches it and he says he doesn't because he only gets satisfaction from seeing the person he is romantically involved with (so, just my pics). And at that time, I said I've visited nsfw / nsfwgifs a few times but I'm not that interested in porn. Now neither of us said we couldn't watch porn. I even told him he could, he just has to be open about it if he does.
So, I feel like an idiot now. During that rough period, I was lonely, hurt, and really confused. Looking at his pictures just made me miss him even more. I'm not sure why I even went to watch porn. I explained it to him as me fantasizing about having sex with him during a time when we were fighting. He pretty much thinks that's bullshit as I shouldn't have felt the need to go outside of the relationship in the first place. I told him that watching that porn that one time doesn't mean anything and I have no desire to do it again. As what I want most of course is for us to have a close relationship where we feel comfortable talking about anything. I'll admit it, it was hypocritical of me not to mention that I watched it that time but we just got out of a fight, I know it's not an adequate excuse at all but I was just stressed out by all the fighting.
Since then he's been mad at me and passive aggressive in our interactions. I understand he's hurt and I feel very badly. He keeps making jabs about me watching porn and how I'm a BDL (big dick lover, I'm assuming). I keep telling him that's not at all the kind I watched. He's average in size and I love it. He knows that the only person I've had sex with (my ex) is also average (but mixed race). So I don't know how all this translates into me loving big dicks. I showed him reddit discussions on how not all women care about big dicks and in return he showed me stats on average penis sizes across ethnicity. He has nothing to even worry about with the stats that he showed me! So all morning we've had a back and forth argument about how much I supposedly love big dicks. I'm sure I've done much wrong throughout all this but I don't think it's fair for him to keep insisting that I'm into something that I've stated that I'm not. I'm sure he's just mad at me right now and that it'll blow over, but my head is spinning from all of this.
tl;dr: Told Bf I watched porn. He thinks I shouldn't have gone outside the relationship if I desire him like I say I do. Now he keeps calling me a big dick lover.
Reddit told her to  so she did the natural thing and reposted but this time leaving out the parts about BF being extremely insecure and jealous of porn 
I [20 F] called my bf [23 M] average and now we might break up
quote:
We're in a long-distance relationship of 6 months but have not been able to meet yet because we live very far away from each other. During our discussion about porn a while back, he said he doesn't really like porn and that he gets off from stuff that is from the person he is romantically involved with. I told him I don't care much for porn but I have been on nsfwgifs a few times.
Since then I have not looked at porn until a couple weeks ago I went on once during a rough period between us. I told him this a few days ago and we've been fighting ever since. He keeps calling me a big dick lover. After all this back and forth, I got so fed up I went on a rant about how I did not like being told what it is that I liked. I told him I don't like big dicks and that I liked average dicks like the guy I been with before and with him currently.
So, poo poo hit the fan when I called him average. As I spoke without thinking. He went through an experience with a terrible ex who insulted and compared him negatively. However, I did not mean to come off like his ex at all. I meant it like how big dicks doesn't concern me at all and that I enjoy average penis the most. He said that's not something he ever wanted to find out about what I think of him. But what did he expect me to think of him when he himself called him average? But I should not have ever said anything though. Even though I explain to him that being average there holds the same value to me as being average at any other body part. However, I have no idea about being a guy, I've been insensitive about that.
He feels this is not something he can ever get over. The thought of me thinking he's average will always be there. But I told him just because he's average in size it doesn't mean he's average in what I think about him, my attraction towards him, nor my desire for him. Even though we've never met, I've never wanted anyone this much.
The fact that I said something I couldn't take back and something he never wanted to find out is the problem I can't fix now. He thinks we should break up because we are incompatible with our mindset. But he says he still loves me he just doesn't see how he can come back from this. I don't want to break up, but I don't know how to fix this either. All I know is that I love him so much, for all his strengths and flaws, and I know he's the one I want to be with. Is there anything I can do now?
tl;dr: I called bf average but did not mean to insult him. Bf really hurt by my thoughtless words and can't see us coming back from this. We still love each other but don't know how to fix this.
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Oct 11, 2016 06:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 28, 2024 03:41
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Prescribed viewing of \r\relationships should replace "sever & therapy" as our own e/n staples
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Oct 11, 2016 08:03
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Sep 29, 2016 15:48
