- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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I'm going to guess comedy, maybe some kind of touring show? I worked for Second City in college and the comedians/everyone who worked there was evenly split between "horrible pile of autism who will never touch a member of the sex they are attracted to" and "everyone bones each other with maximum drama".
Nah, I'm guessing some sort of circus/areial/cirque du soeilel related thing.
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Oct 10, 2016 19:39
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May 21, 2024 10:36
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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That was my guess too, circus/specifically cirque du soleil since they said it was like "the biggest company in the field"
Next Post: My [23M] GF [23F] cheated on me with a flexible, effete French Clown.
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Oct 10, 2016 20:07
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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This goyim is about to get his cover blown wide open. Isn't 23andMe like, $30 or something?
The genetic testing for Jewish parents can get really specific as you are testing for a handful of diseases that crop up more frequently in that population. You have to go to a genetic counselor and then they send off the test. It's probably very pricey.
Also if you ever study genetic disorders you end up studying a great number of fairly rare diseases that are "of higher incidence in the Jewish and Amish population."
Edit to add: This is because they are fairly genetically isolated populations (a long history of only marrying/reproducing within a small group) which causes genetic defects to crop up more frequently.
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Oct 10, 2016 20:11
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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I don't know.
This was my second guess. But still doesn't fit with bring away in the week and at home in the weekends.
Gosh, I really want to know what this person does for a living!
The post just says 4-5 days per week which could be Thursday through Monday for all we know. Comedy option is some sort of traveling evangelical revival show, but more likely a traveling theater troupe of some kind.
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Oct 10, 2016 20:49
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Bimonthly Comedy evangelical orgies.
Nailin' Jesus on the Cross
Coming soon to a church near you.
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Oct 10, 2016 21:05
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Hearthstone $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
On my first couple of read-throughs I glossed over the fact that they paid $800 for a license for him. I'm hoping that was a car registration or else that means Mr. Nerd Hobby over there works in some kind of licensed business which is usually health or safety related.
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Oct 10, 2016 23:07
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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She's used very vague wording for it, but it sounds like she's "auditing" it for, uhhh, I'm assuming full on child pornography and deleting it when she finds it. Everything about this story is hosed
Yeah....of all the bullshit people like to call on these stories, that one is the most "this happened and is more common than you think" that I've seen in a while. For something lighter:
quote:
I’m constantly cleaning up after my roommates, “Kerry” and “Dinah,” who are sisters. While Kerry is a more considerate roommate overall, she is a messy cook and leaves spilled food/dirty dishes all over the kitchen. She’ll return to clean up later, but usually it’s after I’ve cleaned up (I need to use the kitchen, too!) and she never wipes up her spills. Dinah drives me up the wall: She’s a pack rat, never puts anything away, never takes out the recycling, dirty dishes on the counters, etc. They’re both aware of how much the mess stresses me out. Kerry sometimes cleans with me during the week, but Dinah cleans irregularly and follows me around the house to talk at me while I clean. I’ve spoken to them both about wiping up spills and washing dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher), but after a year I still feel like their maid. Should I break down and hire a cleaning service?
Boo hoo, why won't these women clean up after themselves when I do it for them constantly.
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Oct 17, 2016 19:39
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Eh it's more the fact that this has gone on for a year without her laying down the ultimatum about them cleaning or her charging them for a cleaning service.
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Oct 17, 2016 19:54
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Have you ever tried the approach you're implicitly suggesting here? If the people you live with don't care to clean, stopping cleaning doesn't prompt them to start, it just leads to a messy house that you're the only one stressed about.
I'm not suggesting she go on a race to the bottom. It's just interesting that it's been a problem for a year and despite her efforts it hasn't changed. Just throw in the towel after a few months and hire a cleaning service since she can afford it as she implies, or split it with the roomies.
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Oct 17, 2016 20:16
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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OK, which one of you is this post about?
quote:
About six weeks ago my husband and I received an anonymous email that said we should check out what our daughter-in-law was posting on an Internet forum we’d never heard of. We were given a link and her username. We were shocked to discover she was spending vast amounts of work time posting to this forum. More upsetting was what she was posting about us and our son. We have been generous financially and otherwise to them and their children, but according to her posts she resents us and thinks we are “interfering.” We don’t think we are, and we’ve never had our offers refused. Worse is how she talks online about our son. He is very helpful around the house and she acknowledges he gets the kids ready for day care most mornings, plays with them after work, then works in the evening at home to advance his career. Despite this, she gripes about him and details the ways he annoys her. Perhaps the very worst is finding out she has a rather unsavory past, including phone-sex work, drug addiction, and embezzlement. We knew nothing of this, but she mentions these things without a trace of guilt or embarrassment on the forum. Do we say anything to our son about what we’ve discovered? There is a part of me that would love to just ignore all we’ve learned and try to maintain a good relationship with her because we love our son and grandchildren, but my husband has been steaming about our son being “taken” by someone we suddenly realize may not be a very nice person.
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Oct 17, 2016 20:20
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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yeah that is depressingly 100% believable. loving hell
Also, it was 100% his flesh and blood daughter. The couple had been together since they were 12 (!) and both kids were theirs.
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Oct 17, 2016 20:26
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Sorry about your pearl clutching MIL.
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Oct 17, 2016 20:50
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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I think my (F38) ex (M40) is planning to kill someone
Dear Diary:
Today hubby made me some cookies. He said they were chocolate chip, but I swear the whole kitchen smelled like almonds while he was baking.
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Oct 17, 2016 21:05
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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quote:
My family is freaking out because I made my brother get his own Netflix: When my brother went to college across the country, I added him onto my Netflix and gave him all the info. At the time it was still cheap and allowed four people to use it at time. I also sent him money, gift cards, bought him nice meals and pizza remotely and listened to him complain about how much he hated the beautiful, tropical destination vacation spot his college was located in. Our parents supported him fully; rent, phone, car, insurance, grocery money, etc. This was not something offered to me, as I am the “black sheep” of the family, but I digress. After three years away, my brother came home and immediately landed his dream job. He is back home living at my parents and has no bills other than his still-deferred student loans. He brags about having cash on Facebook and suddenly can afford a loan for a brand new truck and a motorcycle. When he asked me for the Netflix info again I explained they raised the price and only allowed two screens at a time. I have a husband and a child. We can’t afford cable. We have bills and rent to pay for and I have a lot of medical bills. No one has ever given me any financial assistance. Rather than paying for additional screens for him, I told my brother he was a big boy now and could afford his own Netflix or just use the free internet and cable at my parents. He now won’t speak to me and my parents have flipped out on me because I don’t understand “his” struggles. I think they’re babying him but everyone is so angry I keep wondering if I’m actually wrong. Thoughts?
To interrupt racist chat, here's netflix ruining another family. While the little brother and parents are being whiny little pains, there's so much seething resentment in the undercurrent of this message that I can't help but think there might be another side to this story.
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Oct 25, 2016 00:34
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Aaahh why did the dad keep reading? Who looks at their adult daughter's stuff, sees a sexchat and reads it for the details. The least he could have done was close the window at the first mention of a throbbing body part.
Also, in chairchat, anybody else think that the reason the chairs are a yellow color is because they are unstained/unvarnished? Maybe it was raw pine or something and they weren't close to their final color.
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Nov 8, 2016 02:56
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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She got interrupted before that could happen.
quote:
My (32m) wife (33f) is becoming the kind of person I dislike
I'm an atheist. I use the term skeptic, mostly, because of the over-the-top response the term "atheist" typically gets. I like evidence and research behind opinions. I like to see the roadmap of how someone or some group arrived at the conclusions they're making about something.
When we were dating, my wife was almost as practical as I was, studying chemistry, and the kind of person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. At the time we were both Christians, but that didn't play a significant role in our relationship, except to the extent that we would occasionally go to church together on Sundays.
She became a stay at home mom, and she INSISTED on homeschooling the children, which she does half-heartedly, at best, using ultra conservative, dogmatic homeschool material. Some days I come home and the kids "haven't done school yet" - a few pages of a workbook that they spend 30-60 minutes on.
With our youngest child, she would only agreed on a couple of the vaccinations for the baby, and now is trying to say that there's "no reason" for the baby to get any of the others (at first she wanted to spread them out so as not to "over stress his immune system". I agreed to that, at the time. Now he's 18 months old and only partially vaccinated. Now she says that our other children developed asthma after they received vaccines.
She used to listen to good music, or at least, listened to a wide range of musicians. Now, it's all maranatha music - the most contrived, awful, monotonous music that exists in the Christian community. I'm a musician, and music is important to me.
She's always on Facebook. She is a fan of pyramid scheme bullshit and seriously fought me when I cancelled a $100/month subscription to essential oils during a period of financial hardship - this after smelly waxes and some kind of book thing. Now she's into yoga pants.
I'm trying, but I'm just starting to really, really dislike who she is now. I feel like she's doing long term damage to our children by giving them a piss poor education, and endangering our baby's health. I feel like she's become this... monstrosity of a caricature of a joke of her former self, and i don't know when it happened or how to deal with it... Or even where to begin.
Way to bury the lede on the child neglect there bud.
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Nov 20, 2016 05:14
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Was this one deleted? I tried to find it to see the comments and couldn't. I kind of want to know if the Redditors pointed out the obvious - he's a lovely father who won't take responsibility for his children's well-being.
Yeah it must have been, I can't find it either. Most of the comments were saying he should just take the kids, get them vaccinated and enroll them in school.
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Nov 20, 2016 15:01
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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In this week's episode of two people who sound insufferable....
My mom [57f] is always trying to force femininity on me [21f] and I'm getting sick of her. She threatened to disown me once
quote:
My mom is a lovely lady who grew up with femininity being shoved down her throat. Her mother was like that and grandmother was like that. I swear she owns so many loving beauty products it's EXHAUSTING. Not because she owns it, but because I grew up being her barbie doll.
I didn't mind it back then to be honest, although now that I look back it was very unhealthy. She owns so many beauty magazines and she's the type of woman who reads Cosmo, wears heels and is very "girly". I don't know if I should that word to refer to my 57 year old mom but she's a walking stereotype of women in romantic comedies and she thinks it's bomb.
Anyway, when I turned a teenager it was like her peak. She was so excited to talk to me about tampons, for example. Which I don't mind, it's actually necessary to talk about that. But the tampon talk was less educative and more vain. She told me to use SCENTED TAMPONS. I calmly explained that it's unhealthy and your vagina isn't supposed to smell like flowers (which was something my gyno told me), but she's obsessed with looking good and smelling good and being feminine.
She bought so many dresses and skirts and heels. She bought me earrings and jewelry and makeup. Lots of makeup. And hair products. High school was HELL. She has always spoke with the valley girl voice and thinks she was sooooooooo tuned with today's youth. NO MOM. NO. DON'T OFFER ME CONDOMS IN FRONT OF THE GUY I LIKE MOM.
I wish it would stop at how vain she is but it doesn't. She wants me to act feminine too. I was trying to ask a guy out once because I thought he was lovely and she pushed me away and said "nooooooooo! you're supposed to flirt with him, give him the signs". What. Signs. For. God's. Sake. I'm not walking traffic lights. I don't give signals. But she insists on the bullshit she reads on Cosmo while hanging out with her batshit crazy friends.
I love my mom. I do. But whenever we're going out, literally anywhere, I have to be dressed up with red lipstick and high heels. If I'm not dolled up, we're not going out. It gets tiring. She threatened to disown me once because I said I didn't want to do my hair on Thanksgiving. This is loving awful. And she also shows me off to her friends as if I'm such a good girl! Such beautiful! Much happiness! I'M DONE. Reddit, pls help me. Thank you.
TL;DR: my mother thinks I'm her barbie doll, I have to get dressed up everytime we go out and things have always been like this. I want her to stop. Any advice?
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Nov 21, 2016 16:50
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Should I end this relationship? I (33f) have been dating someone (32m) for several months, and he seems to want very little contact (1x per week), and no calls or texts in between.
quote:
I met this man and hit it off with him very quickly. The first few weeks of dating were nice and seemed normal from a frequency of contact perspective. Now, we see each other once every 7-10 days, for a few hours at a time. We're both extremely busy professionals, but I feel like I could handle getting together 3x per week. It feels like the infrequent contact is a sign that he's interested only in sex and not a relationship (even though he says otherwise). We discussed the lack of contact and emotional intimacy last night (which ended with him saying that he couldn't see me this week because he had to work on his house....). Should I just end this now, or give him a chance? What is normal for frequency of contact? He said he could do 2 get-togethers per week. I would prefer at least 3, with calls or texts in between, he is a no text no call guy.
TL;DR Should I end a relationship where the frequency of contact is minimal (1-2 times per week, no calls or texts in between)? What is a normal amount of contact in a relationship?
Hmm....
1.) Infrequent contact
2.) No text, no call
3.) Only meets for sex
Gonna need Scooby Doo to help solve this mystery.........
You're his side piece 
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Nov 21, 2016 22:39
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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I dunno, this pretty much describes my most recently developed friendship. Chica is just busy.
From the other side, this probably describes me pretty well from my friends' POV when I'm depressed.
Not sure sex being involved would change much in either case.
E: sometimes it is literally "only meet for x thing"
I mean I get that different people have different expectations about these things, but this isn't a friendship or buddies.
She wants to have a real relationship and he is sending all the "I just want to be FWB" signals while paying lip service to the relationship ideal.
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Nov 21, 2016 22:57
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Who in the hell's nipples take 9 months to heal from a piercing? Is he dating the anti-Wolverene?
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Nov 21, 2016 23:10
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Drums, bass, or guitar? I'm going to guess drums. Also guessing some kind of scremo/emo/scene thing.
La Brea Carpet fucked around with this message at 05:30 on Nov 22, 2016
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Nov 22, 2016 05:28
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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The picky eater problem strikes again
quote:
Me [26 M] with my husband [24 M] married for 3 months, problem with each other's picky eating.
Hi, Long time lurker at this sub. I've recently got married and our new lives have been pretty perfect except when it comes to one thing - meal times. I'm extremely health conscious when it comes to eating, mainly because my many of paternal relatives have Type 2 diabetes and many of my maternal relatives have high blood pressure, heart disease and suffered from strokes. My dad was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in his late 20s, and my mum was diagnosed with high blood pressure in her early 40s and recently had an emergency heart bypass surgery. I think my 'health-consciousness' has somehow led me to judge how 'delicious' a food is not by its taste but by how healthy it is (like low in saturated fat, high in fibre, low in sugar and salt, high in complex carbs etc). My husband on the other hand is quite a picky eater and has a long list of food he hates, and many of the food on his list are actually food that I consider 'tasty', like skin-on potatoes, fresh curly kale etc. When it's his turn to do cooking, he would end up cooking food that's very high in saturated fat (like deep fried, processed meat or very rich in cheese), which triggers my health-consciousness issue. As a result of having quite different fundamental meal preference, we sometimes end up having very different definition of a same dish. Take chicken salad for example - mine would be very stripped back and contains the recommended 4 of 5 in one meal, and his would be rich with mayo/ cream. He wanted to have schnitzel one day, and as a compromise I asked if he could serve a side salad with it, and he ended up serving spring onions with sour cream as the 'salad'. Needless to say, I didn't have any. This difference in meal preference has led to quite a few conflicts and arguments and I'm not sure how to tackle this tricky issue. I understand that he's an adult and I cannot change the way he eats, and the only way to solve this issue is to find a solution to work around it, something that can cater to our very different eating habits. I'm wondering if there's anyone who had the same problem and how you've dealt with it? Thanks in advance!
tl;dr married for 3 months, both of us have very different meal preference which is causing quite a few conflicts and unsure with how to deal with it.
In what world is a mix of spring onions and mayo considered a "salad?" They have a picture of each other on the profile, and it is not what you would expect.
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Nov 22, 2016 23:13
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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If you're not going to post the image can you at least link the page?
I'm well aware of the loose definition of salad in many places in the US of A, but that doesn't even sound appetizing. It's just so passively aggressively low effort.
edit: Posted the link, but it felt too much like poop-touching. For those of you wondering, they look like a happy, healthy, normal couple. One of them did not look like a goon. Also y'all nerds can google.
La Brea Carpet fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Nov 22, 2016
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Nov 22, 2016 23:30
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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what like in their comments? maybe because I'm on my phone but I can't find it. I don't care of someone just describes and spoilers it I'm assuming she's fat and he's not or something.
Most comments are along the lines of "just make two meals" or "find foods you both can enjoy."
My favorite comments was from someone who stated that she was vegetarian and her husband was an "avowed carnivore" so their compromise was to make jambalaya with one meat instead of three.
As stated above, they look like two happy, normal, healthy guys. I was expected a big, burly bear with a twink, but alas no.
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Nov 22, 2016 23:44
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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HELP!! My Bicurious/sexual boyfriend [24] of 4 years- never sexual with me [21 F]- continuous cycle
"my boyfriend can't keep an erection with me, keeps having sex with men, WHAT CAN I DO?"
I keep trying to read the details but my eyes keep sliding off the wall o' text. TL;DR: Boyfriend gay, so what?
Also, im very tekk savyvy should be the new thread title.
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Nov 23, 2016 02:39
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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quote:
My(F26) husband(M29) is going to fire my sister's(F27) husband(M33) tomorrow. How do I talk to her?
My husband helped my sister's husband get a job. My sister's husband unleashed some racial slurs at another employee. Human resources department has investigated. He admitted to it. Now my husband has to fire him. They have three kids, it's Thanksgiving, I'm furious at him.
My sister has no idea and my husband is a total mess. He has no idea why they chose him to do the firing. This is something that someone in HR usually does. My husband was promoted last month so maybe it's in his new job description.
TL:dr:. my husband is about to fire my sister's husband. Should I give her a heads up?
I'm pretty sure that this is an O. Henry story in the making.
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Nov 23, 2016 16:57
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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While it sucks he's getting fired, he unleashed a torrent of racial slurs at a coworker and admitted to it.
True, but getting a guy hired and then firing him just before a holiday has to feel awful.
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Nov 23, 2016 17:25
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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I would really love to know what the argument was about.
If r/relationships has taught me anything, it was probably about video games or sex. Possibly video game sex.
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Nov 23, 2016 20:19
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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quote:
Me [30 M] with my wife [28 F] of 2 years, moving forward with our marriage, or maybe towards divorce?
Using a throwaway account since I believe my s/o lurks on reddit. My wife Susan and I have been struggling with our marriage, even though we have been married for about a little less than two years now.
We've had some issues going into the marriage in terms of work scheduling, I worked in restaurant management which constituted weekends and late nights and she worked a fairly stable M-F day job. We didnt see much of each other at all during this time other than waking up and going to bed; with the rare one night a week where our free time did overlap. She was very patient and put up with this schedule for about a year and a half. I was the bread winner, but I dont know if that was a reason for putting up with the work arrangements.
Tension has been a rough between her and I as of late. We haven't been intimate since the marriage night. I've been stressed out from work and our schedules dont exactly allow us to spend date nights together. Our conversations have been more brief lately, and we struggle to talk to each other over daily events. I've felt that she's also become more negative over various situations. She keeps talking about her appearance in a negative manner and I am always quick to try and refute those thoughts. She likes to complain more about everyday things (traffic, work, friends) which is something I dont think she did as much of while we were dating and up until marriage. I try to comfort her physically but she seems to close me off by brushing me away, or saying negative remarks about herself (which I find as a turn off at that point). I'm usually a very positive person, but the constant negativity has really chipped away at my selfesteem.
Because of our scheduling differences I never tell her to stay home or don't go out with her/our friends on the account of me working. I've accepted that working weird hours are what essentially pay the bills and I'm happy to sacrifice now to get to a better position later where the situation is more favorable.
I recently found out that during an outing with some of her girlfriends out of town that she allowed another man to kiss her (I was not with her as I was working). I confronted her about the incident and she played it off as "she was drunk." The both of us like to be social at parties but I never would have imagined her being one to be so open about letting something like that happen. On a two other occasions I have managed to find her flirting with other men, in the forms of dancing with one and accepting drinks from a complete stranger (as in she's talking to him and he pours his beer into her cup and she did nothing to make it seem like that was a weird thing to do). I spoke with friends who were there on both occasions to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting the situation or was seeing things, both times seem to be pretty clear what was going on. We've talked about these situations and she's stating that she's acting like this to get attention, but to me I feel that this somewhat crosses a line. With these instances I know alcohol have been big factors but I don't think that's a good excuse to give yourself for actions like that.
I've been having some big trust issues since finding out about these instances and I can't seem to wonder what she's doing now when she's out with her friends since she's been so open about flirting with another man (event to the point when I'm in the same building with the last two examples).
I recently switched jobs within the same company to hopefully regain a better job schedule which did not end up being successful. I was essentially let go about a few months later. When I broke the news to her she seemed somewhat aloof and didn't seemed to interested in comforting me about the situation. I've been struggling finding ways to communicate with her since our conversations have been so short and sometimes feel like no value is placed within them (not to mention most times then not it feels like I'm bothering her by talking to her). We are planning on scheduling sessions with a marriage counselor, but am wondering if anyone has any advice on moving forward with this marriage.
I love this women so much, but I feel that she is ready to move on, maybe without even trying to fix it. I'm willing to put in efforts to try and resolve things but in the back of my head I feel that she's checked out, and I don't know how much of help a counselor may be. I'm preparing myself emotionally for the prospect of a divorce but want to expend all options before I am willing to get to that point.
TLDR: Wife and I are having issues communicating which led to a few outbursts of small infidelity. Counseling is being scheduled but afraid that she has checked out of the marriage altogether.
Bolding mine. Hope this dude knows a good divorce lawyer.......
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Nov 24, 2016 05:33
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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quote:
I[28F] hate my SO's[31M] new hairstyle so much I want to break up with him.
Throwaway, bc everyone does it. Sorry, this seems like such a petty, shallow issue, but I don't really know what the best course of action is.
I didn't think I was a shallow person until the last few months. I've been dating my boyfriend for 4.5 years. In the beginning, he was pretty good about grooming: regular haircuts, dressed well, shaved every couple days. The last few years, he has been a lot more lax because he knows that I love him and that he doesn't have to impress me with his looks. I never criticize the clothing my boyfriend wears around me(usually an oversized t-shirt and baggy basketball shorts), tell him to cut his hair when it has gotten long and shaggy, or make him shave--he is Asian and cannot grow anything past sparse, prickly hairs that look...questionable. They also poke me quite painfully when we kiss or if he spoons me, which is pretty every 20 minutes when we're together, but that's a separate issue.
His Asian family never has any difficulty telling him that he needs a haircut or that his facial hair looks gross, but I've always made a point to not criticize his grooming choices, even though I personally do dislike his whiskers and shaggy hair sometimes. They all hate his current haircut.
The last few months though, he has taken it to a whole new level: he's growing a MULLET. After several months of not getting a haircut, he came back with the top and sides trimmed, but all of the hair at the back of his head untouched. He has asked me if I like it, and I politely say no, but his attitude is basically, 'Oh well.' He likes it a lot and he feels like it is an expression of his inner self.
But me saying "no I don't like it" is a huge understatement. I hate it. When I look at him I don't get the warm, fuzzy feelings I used to get. I feel 'ick.' When he sleeps, he tosses around a lot and it ends up looking really ratty and tangled, which he doesn't always fix before going out. I feel like he looks ridiculous and I'm really upset we're going to my company holiday party where I'll have to introduce him to my managers/peers. I don't want to be seen in public with him. I don't want to hang out with old friends and have them know the guy I am dating has a mullet. It's gotten pretty long over the last 6 months, and I don't know if/when he will go back to a more 'normal' haircut.
The thing is, I've really started to feel like I got the short end of the stick. I'm a pretty considerate partner in many ways, while he has some immature tendencies. I was always willing to overlook them because I know he tries really hard to improve himself, and he has grown a lot in 4.5 years, but this is too much. I'm a girly girl and take pretty good care of myself and always try to stay attractive to him, and it feels like he doesn't even try anymore.
He loves this hairstyle and I think it's become part of his identity. I feel guilty telling him that I don't like it and I never thought I was the type of person to force my partner to look a certain way. I have not been able to reconcile these feelings and I don't know what I should do. I do believe if I told him how much I hated it, he would unhappily cut it, but I worry he will resent me if I give him an ultimatum. He hardly ever asks me for anything (though I don't ask him for much either), and he has never had a problem with my appearance, so I'm sure he will feel this is unfair.
Sorry if you have a mullet. I don't hate all mullets, but I don't want the guy I am dating to have one.
tl;dr: My boyfriend is growing a mullet and I hate it. He says it feels like he is being his most honest self, and I don't want to repress that. What do I do?
The classic it's me or your mullet dilemma.
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Nov 30, 2016 16:21
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Holy crap, I know cuck is a stupid joke around here, but holding your sobbing wife because her lover left her is like the professional level of cuckolding.
That one girls fiance must have read this one handed.
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Nov 30, 2016 16:50
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Can we bring back bunny boiler as a slang for crazy person, because this chick sounds like a straight up bunny boiler.
quote:
Me (30F) with my coworker (30M). I found his wife (28F) in my house with my husband (35M).
I want to apologize in advance for any disorganization in this post. My head is in a cloud right now and I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in two days.
I'll try to explain it as best I can.
I work in an office with David, my colleague. David was a nice guy, we always made small talk and when we worked on group projects he was easily the person who made it enjoyable even if it was really dull. David has a wife, Alexandra. While we work in a pretty middle income bracket type of job, Alexandra works in the beauty industry. She has modeled and done other things with makeup and rakes in a lot of money. David has mentioned before that she has often mentioned he should just quit or work from home. But he likes his job so he continues doing it.
Apparently all the guys loved Alexandra. She's thin and beautiful and funny, and I was really looking forward to meeting her. When I did meet her though, it wasn't the best time. I was stressing over some reports we had due at the end of the day and I didn't get to really properly say hi. I basically had rushed into David's office to get a copy of something and was caught up in talking to him about the project and I didn't notice she was off to the side by his window. She said "Hello." kind of loudly and irritated. I said "Sorry! I didn't see you there!" And she just raised her eyebrows at me. When I saw her again I greeted her warmly and said I was so sorry I didn't get to talk to her the first time, but she just responded to me in a cool tone. I felt badly but at the same time I didn't understand why she would take it so personally. I let it go.
While the guys like her, I learned that some of the girls do not. Its unclear what exactly the deciding factor is for her not liking them. She apparently doesn't like certain people talking to David, but others are okay and she will go out to drinks with them and they are close friends.
Of the girls who are dislike by her, three of them have said she has actively done things to make them feel hurt or uncomfortable. This includes backtalking, glares, laughing when they walk out of a room, etc. Alexandra at some point did a collaboration with a makeup company and "designed" a lipstick and named it "Homewrecker Heidi" (*not her actual name). One of the girls she doesn't like is named Heidi. She made a point to bring the lipstick to one of her friends in the office as a "gift" and made sure to say the name out loud and laugh.
As a result, the unliked girls stay away from David and the liked girls sort of police the other ones because they get free makeup and stuff for being friends with her. By police, I mean they give us "advice" like no to flirt with David even though all we're doing is talking to him.
Long story short, I didn't think this was appropriate or healthy and brought it to our boss. I explained everything about the situation and how some girls feel uncomfortable, and how we should be able to speak freely to each other.
As a result there was a mandatory meeting about separating work and personal life and how workplace harassment among employees is not tolerated.
It got back to Alexandra obviously. I overheard that she and David fought and she accused me of being a homewrecker, that I was trying to get between them, that I should have come to her and faced her "like a real woman" instead of "taking the bitch route and being a tattle tale". I've never let anyone bully me an so I ignored her and continued to be friendly to David as I do with everyone else.
A few weeks ago our project group was sent to a conference out of state for 3 days. Alexandra did not want David to go because we were in the same group. She told him that they were making more than enough money and he should just quit and "relax at home". I only know all of this because David came in to work looking very tired so I asked if he was ok. She was upset we would be staying in the same hotel and said I was probably jumping at the opportunity for us to get drunk and have sex. Nevermind that I am married and don't see David at all in that way.
I tried to counsel him and tell him that it wasnt healthy for her to control him like that. I encouraged him to work in what he loves and to try and get her to see that she had nothing to worry about. He ended up going with us to the conference. She was furious and made a point to drive past our office at the same time I would be getting done and flipped me off the day before we left.
Fast forward to now. Two days ago I walked into my house and I heard a female voice coming from our downstairs bar area. I walked down and saw Alexandra leaning against the bar and my husband was mixing something in the blender (found out they were just protein shakes). They were in workout gear and her duffel bag was on the floor next to them. I was obviously dumbfounded. It turns out she started going to his gym three weeks ago, same time the trip was happening. My husband had no idea what she looked like when I talked about the work situation. They became workout "friends". I told her to go outside and my husband was looking all confused and I said "THAT'S Alexandra". She had just told him her name was "Lexi".
I got to the driveway and shes just standing there with her arms crossed and a weird smirk. I tell her to never come near my family, to stop whatever she thinks shes doing, that I will get a restraining order if I have to. She says "Dont worry, I wont come by again. But it hurt right? When you saw me standing there with him? So maybe now you know how it feels. If you don't like me being friends with your man, stay away from mine." WTF? I just said that she was seriously crazy and I would not hesitate to call the police if she pulled some psycho poo poo like this again.
My husband and I had a huge row over it since this, me questioning him and his intentions by bringing this woman to our house. He swears it was innocent, that he was just talking about the protein he uses and wanted to make her a shake so she could try it before buying. Said if he were going to cheat he wouldnt have some girl over our house knowing when I get done work. He apologized over and over and said he didnt know it was her. I dont know how to feel about him right now, my heart and head is a mess.
I don't know what to do so I came here for advice. Has anyone dealt with someone like this? I called in sick the last two days. I couldn;t face work or seeing David and feeling like I had to dodge him. I don't know how to deal with this. Do I talk to my boss? Is there anything he can even do? Talk to David? A friend told me this is a personal issue and the incidents happen outside of work so its out of their hands probably but I dont know.
Advice and help are very welcome..
tl;dr: Colleague's wife doesn't like me, found the gym my husband goes to, befriends him, comes over my house with him all in order to "teach me a lesson" about being friendly with her husband at work.
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Nov 30, 2016 21:38
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Which one? The OP is loving freaking out over extremely minor poo poo and creating drama where there was none.
Like, all crazy lady did was be rude and get invited into her house, I'm not seeing the reason to freak out and not be able to go to work and want a restraining order.
OP sounds like a whiny ninny, but the other woman made up a fake name to befriend her husband at the gym as a revenge plot. One of those red flags is bigger than the other.
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Nov 30, 2016 21:47
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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Oh my godddd it is soooo surprising that she thinks being fat is healthy and she has PCOS. What is that you say? Obesity and PCOS have super strong correlations? You don't say??
It's not like there are medications you try to help regulate your hormones in PCOS that have a side effect of weight loss.
That would be crazy, right?
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Nov 30, 2016 22:07
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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quote:
My (25 m) wife (29 f) has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disoder/Borderline personality disorder and refuses treatement.
My wife has a diagnosis of OCPD / BPD and she refuses to get treatment. If I try to write an in depth post it will end up being a mess so I will just write a typical scenarios and you should get the picture.
I recently talked to my wife about her not making sandwiches anymore as I don't like them, at this point I have been eating them for about 4 years out of awkwardness. I've tried to tell her many times I don't like them but she just ignores me. This happens often - I ask her to change something or refrain from doing something, she acknowledges it but then straight up ignores me and continues. If I get even slightly upset about this she will do things like drinking a while bottle of wine and slamming her head into the wall to try and knock herself out.
So I got her to agree not to make sandwiches after a 4 year campaign. Today she makes something that is 2 pieces of bread with melted cheese on top of it. I suggest that this is basically and sandwich and she starts freaking out screaming "IT'S NOT A SANDWICH". She then drinks half a bottle of wine and starts screaming about how I am treating her like a speck of dust and trying to ground her down into nothing. She then insists as she often does that I have planned "since the beginning" to push her to suicide and that I "won't rest" until she is dead. After one of her tantrums she insists on being left alone but if actually do it she will ask how I could be so heartless as to leave her crying for hours.
I asked how I should have approached this situation in her view, she said I should have compromised and eaten it. She then started screaming about how she can't eat all the foods she wants as I don't like everything that she does. She says that I should just compromise and eat everything she wants. I suggest that I will just put something in the oven if she wants to make things I don't like but she argues that this will create "more work" for her. I say I will sort out my own dishes but she starts screaming about how I "don't do it right".
She goes out to get more wine and then comes back and starts screaming about how she "takes responsibility for everything". I ask what she wants me to take responsibility for then? She says she wants me to "sort out our taxes" (we are self employed, she has been for a long time I have been doing it less than a year). I said that I didn't understand what she meant by that as we have hired an accountant to help us. She then starts screaming and calling me a child as well as other really hurtful insults.
This happens frequently, she demands I "take responsibility" but she starts screaming whenever I ask for something more specific than "sort out X". She wanted me to "sort out our health insurance" - I am British and have never had to deal with anything like this in my life, I asked if she could be more specific about what this actually entailed but she just started screaming that I should grow up. In the beginning of the relationship I would try to help with things but she would get really nasty and personal with me for not being instantly proficient.
For the last year I have been dealing with an incurable condition in my ears that has left one ear deaf full of pressure and one is extremely sensitive to sound. I am an electronic music producer and it has been a devastating blow. She has been extremely nasty about it. After it became apparent that my condition would not heal I started trying to get back into making music. The first time I sat down to it I started to cry due to being overwhelmed with the feeling that I had wasted overa decade of work and money. My wife started to freak out saying I was trying to "manipulate her into feeling bad for me" she started screaming that I should "grow up"and that it was a frivolous hobby that didn't make us any money so what was the point.
Pretty much all of my lowest moments have happened in the last year as a result of my ears and pretty much every time my wife has freaked out. She can say insanely hurtful things about it, for example "gently caress your ears I hope you are in pain forever".
Over the last year I have been able to adjust and get back into making music. It will never be the same but at least I haven't let my condition kill who I am. My wife offered basically no encouragement throughout the whole thing. She is extremely bitter and jealous that I have a hobby, she doesn't have any hobbies or interests and whenever I make music she just sits pining for attention. She often freaks out saying that I love music more than her and says ridiculous things like "if making music was a person you would love it more than me".
She is a victim of abuse and is basically what was done to her to me. She has moments of clarity where she recognizes that she is mentally ill but she can go months at a time of denying that there is anything wrong. She tried taking anti-depressants and it made a huge difference she went from having regular tantrums to having 0 almost overnight. She suffered from side effects though and chose to stop taking them.
I have told her that I feel extremely depressed and i feel like I can't deal with this on my own anymore but she just acted like it never happened. We live outside of our own countries and only really have each other, her family won't help and she doesn't really have any friends. It took me years to get her into therapy and when she finally did my ears hosed up and it all fell apart. I thought I was able to handle this but I have been dealt a really poo poo hand this year. I admitted that I couldn't deal with all this alone but was just ignored, what am I supposed to do in this situation?
tl;dr: Wife suffered from childhood abuse had OCPD/BPD, I thought I could deal with it but then ended up with a life changing medical condition. I feel like I can't do this on my own anymore but my wife is not interested in seeking help for us.
Sounds like a terrible situation right? Well the wife found the post, and responded below
quote:
So I am the wife. Of course he'd write a whole post skewed in his favor. Some points:
I raise my voice just 1 decibel louder and apparently I am "screaming". I'm understandably upset about our marriage, as mentioned in his post and in his comment. You'll also see why in a second.
I am solely responsible for everything. And I mean everything. I cook, clean, wash the dishes, do the laundry, put things away (he uses things and just leaves them wherever he wants), clean up after him when he leaves a mess (he's a slob), for a while he wasn't even working so I was the sole income earner, I take care of the finances (he doesn't even know his own PIN number), I take care of all our important papers, I had done all the legwork for our immigration process, etc. etc. You see what it's like, right? I'm incredibly bitter that I ended up adopting a child instead of marrying a partner.
Many of you will say, "well don't do those things and he'll get the message and pick up the slack". Except he won't. As mentioned, he's a slob and would be happy to live in his own filth, but I'm not happy to do so. Oh, did I mention that he's admitted to my face that he'd purposely gently caress up chores when he was with his exes so they'd get fed up and do them themselves?
So you might be asking: why haven't you gotten a divorce? Because he won't let me. I've begged and begged, and he looked me coldly in the eye and said no. Every single day lived with him is torture-walking on eggshells because I can't make the tiniest of noises. He wants me back on antidepressants so I'm sedated and don't feel anything. He literally wants a good little doll to sit quietly in the corner and serve him on hands and knees.
I would like nothing more than to leave him and divorce him but I really don't have the means nor finances to do so currently. We have our good days, and I do love him, but the bad days clearly outweigh the good and he doesn't love me back as much as I do him. It's not normal to be crying your heart out on a daily basis because your spouse treats you so badly.
P.S. I had 2 glasses of wine, not half a bottle. Also, he gets high 24/7 and I'm apparently not allowed a few glasses of wine on a Saturday afternoon when I'm stressed out, so ok.
Another edit: I do not sit around pining for his attention when he makes his music. I have my own work to do. I only had an issue with it years ago when I still had jealousy issues. Definitely not jealous of him having a hobby-more like angry that he'll push off work to do a hobby instead (so he'll end up with less than 40 hours done a week at times), while his wife is working 60 hour weeks.
I have a few questions, mainly why does this dude hate sandwiches? How bad does your marriage have to be for it to devolve into an internet slap fight? How silent is their apartment right now?
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Dec 3, 2016 21:09
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May 21, 2024 10:36
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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He'll cook, but it sounds like he's the kinda rear end in a top hat who doesn't believe in doing anything to clean up after he cooks.
I can't blame him for being confused about insurance though, that poo poo is confusing as gently caress for anyone. Taxes though? Give me a fuckin break, it's not like he didn't have to pay them wherever he used to live. Mother fucker should get Turbo Tax.
Based on their replies it seems they are self-employed and based in a Euro zone country which might make taxes kind of difficult. Keep in mind they got married when he was 21 and struggling to make his own music so I'm not sure why she expected a mature breadwinner.
Regardless, they should sever and get therapy in that order.
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Dec 3, 2016 23:13
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Oct 10, 2016 19:39
Should I talk to him again or is what he is doing ok?
