quote:

My [26F] boyfriend [30M] of 11 months is telling me I pee too much, need outside perspective

So this is kind of weird, but to give some background, I grew up with a brother who always maintained that my mom and I went to the bathroom too much. He'd always roll his eyes and scoff whenever she and I had to go before a movie and then after it too, every few hours on a road trip, etc. I always figured that since it was my mom and me going, that it was normal and my brother was being an rear end. Or that maybe my mom and I both had small bladders since we're kind of thin women - I'm 5'8" and 130lbs (which is the heaviest I've ever been and for most my life I've been clinically underweight) - and my brother was still being an rear end about it.

But now my boyfriend is telling me the same thing and I don't know how to handle it? Usually it comes up in discussion when we go out to eat, because I normally drink plenty of fluids with my meals and can go through two or three glasses by the time dinner's over - so I usually go to the bathroom right after eating, about an hour after that, and then again an hour after that. I know that's three times, but when we go out I'm drinking a lot of fluid and also eating a lot, so my stomach is kind of pressing on my bladder? I also do my best to keep hydrated on top of that.

My boyfriend keeps bringing it up through. He acts surprised when I say I have to go and gets kind of standoffish about it, especially since when we go out to eat and then try to be intimate afterwards, I have to stop to pee. He's suggested that I not drink so much at dinner, and even given me looks before when I accept refills from the waiter. He's asked me if I have a yeast infection since that's supposed to cause frequent urination. I also mentioned I had a history of diabetes in my family and then he wanted to be sure I don't have that. I know I don't have diabetes or even pre-diabetes (I have another condition that's monitored through blood work every six months) and I'm pretty sure I don't have a yeast infection either. But he keeps bringing it up, sometimes in a way that makes it seem like he's annoyed and sometimes in a way that seems kind but still implies there's something wrong with me. He's brings up stories about people dying from drinking too much water and asks me what I think about them, but never seems satisfied with my answer (that it's sad and wondering how much water they drank). When I go back to visit my family (about a six hour drive) he'll ask me how many times I stopped. Sometimes the answer is three - about every hour, hour and a half, depending on when I left - and then he'll go on a tangent about how that's wasting time and I should've just kept going, etc. I tell him that it's not his business how long it takes me, and that I like to get out and stretch my legs too.

This has been going on since the start of our relationship, but it happened so infrequently that I didn't really pay it much mind. However it really came to a head for me this past weekend when we were driving back from the beach. It was a three hour drive (he was driving in his car) and I had to pee about an hour in. When I told him, he asked, "What would happen if I just kept driving? And didn't stop?" I told him that if that happened, I'd pee in his car. He looked at me and went "Really?" as though he expected me to be joking. I looked at him and said, "Really! I have to pee! I can't hold it two more hours!" And then he found a gas station and we stopped.

I can't help but think about what would've happened if we hadn't stopped though. Like, before he was just kind of questioning, and even the medical stuff could've been him just...being concerned? But this is the first time he's done or said anything that made me worried that he might have prevented me from getting to the bathroom. I'm also feeling really guilty now over the amount that I pee?

So... what's reddit's take I guess? Am I overreacting to the beach incident? Should I just...try to drink less water? I'm going through an average of about 64oz or water or lemonade a day (I have a hydration tracker app). Is there something I can do to get him off my back or at least understand that I genuinely do have to pee? Since both my boyfriend and my brother have brought this up, does that make them both assholes or is something wrong with me?

Tl;Dr I am well hydrated. Boyfriend thinks I pee too much and keep bringing it up.

Themata posted:

My ex used to go to the bathroom nearly every 10 minutes


We had the cum derail and now the pee derail... next the poo derail??

quote:

Lately I've (24/F) been feeling like my boyfriend (27/M) is getting too comfortable, and then something gross happened and I don't know how to feel.

Hi Reddit, I'm using a throwaway because my boyfriend knows my account.

Anyway, so I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He's a super sweet guy and is generally a very good partner. However, I have a giant concern and I don't know if this is normal: he's getting too comfortable.

Yes, being comfortable is great. You should be able to be yourself. But his level of comfort-ability is beginning to make me resent him, but I'm not sure if I'm just being stubborn or this is a legitimate reason to break up.

Here's a list of the things that have gotten worse that really bother me (and what I've done to try to help): he's gaining alot of weight. When we first started dating, he was fit and sexy, but now I'm just not attracted to him anymore. This is going to sound so inconsiderate, but our sex life has suffered for it. It seems more like a chore because the spark just isn't there. He's put on at least 50 pounds, does not take care of himself (eats junkfood all day and does not care what he puts in his mouth), and makes zero effort to live somewhat of a healthy lifestyle.

I have encouraged him to join my gym so we could go together (he always says he'll join next week but never does), and I even taught him some healthy, easy recipes so he can make nutritious meals when I'm not around. I'm VERY into health/fitness, so it's really difficult to be around someone who just does not care about their appearance or health. In addition to his weight, he doesn't care about his physical appearance either. We used to always get dressed up and go out (even if it was just a chill bar, we would at least put on jeans). Now, all he wants to do it wear stained tank tops and basketball shorts. He doesn't care about what he wears and doesn't try to impress me.

When we started dating, he was very ambitious and had a lot of dreams. But about a year into it, he stopped applying for jobs or looking for ways to advance. He is perfectly fine "coasting" in his current teaching job (I make more money than him, I work in engineering). He just expects that we will get married and he won't need to apply himself to other careers or himself really. I tried to help by applying for better jobs FOR him, but he never cared. I even wrote his resume and cover letter for everything, but he was just really "eh."

He's become so lazy, just so willing to do the bare minimum. I'm convinced it's because of me, because he finally found someone to "settle down" with and feels like he no longer needs to try.

These are two really big things, but there are a million other examples that kind of fall into these umbrellas. But something today happened that I just cant look past, and it's really really bothering me.

We went to the beach today, and we had a great time. We have been fighting lately because he's been acting so childish (literally pouting when he doesn't get his way, making excuses to justify behavior, not being accountable) but today was great. Until the ride home. While we were at the beach, he told me he needed to use the restroom. But I realized that he never went. When we got into the car, he told me he needed to go #2 really bad, but decided to drive home anyway. Our drive is like an hour long, and we even stopped at a rest stop and he still didn't go to the bathroom. Finally, when we were like 10 minutes away from my apartment, I notice he starts acting really weird. He was sitting weird in the driver's seat. He says, "can I change my pants at your place?" It took me a millisecond to realize what happened - he poo poo himself. LITERALLY poo poo his pants.

The thing that baffled me the most, is that he DID NOT CARE. He was not embarrassed. He didn't care the entire car instantly smelled like poop, making me gag. He didn't care his pants and car seat was completely covered in poo poo. It wasn't an accident, he didn't suddenly have a bad food reaction and lose it. After I composed myself, asked him why the gently caress he just poo poo his pants, he said "I had to go, didn't think it was that big of a deal." WHAT?!?! While some people might be "ok" with this, I just can't.

I really loving hate that my relationship is so comfortable that my boyfriend can poo poo his pants willingly while driving me home, knowing his house is 5 minutes from mine. I'm sorry, I'm just uncomfortable with it, and I'm grossed out. I don't want to see it, and I think my resentment has been building up this whole time and this just blew me over the edge.

I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I am being unreasonable. Do people often become so comfortable that it's too uncomfortable for the other person? Is it worth breaking up? I don't know if I can continue like this, and whenever I try to talk about my feelings, he pouts and shuts down... doesn't want to hear it.

tl;dr: My boyfriend of 2 years has gotten more childish, fat, and gross. So much to the point that I can't handle it, am I being unreasonable?

quote:

I (22M) accidentally pooped while having sex with my gf (21F, 1 year) and now she's kind of weirded out by me.

So my girlfriend and I work together at a midsized company, but in completely different departments. We go to the bathroom to have sex sometimes (on an unoccupied floor, no troubles). We've done it about 30 times.

This last time (earlier today), I was sitting on the toilet and she was riding me. We were getting pretty into it. Meanwhile, I've been having a rumbly tummy all day. Once we were really going at it something happened and I just exploded out of my rear end. It went directly into the toilet so I thought no big deal. Obviously it was weird and probably gross to her but it couldn't have possibly happened in a better spot. I wiped up and we were done. She didn't want to continue having sex and that's okay by me lol I just pooped while inside of her.

Anyways its about 3 hours later now and she is texting me that she is just 'processing' what happened and that it's okay but she doesn't want to talk until after work. She says it's fine but she just needs the day off from texting me.

Is our relationship going to be okay? I'm getting a bit nervous. Prior to this we have been very good together. People have often made comments that our 'honeymoon' phase has lasted far too long. We're very good together.

tl;dr: Pooped while in my gf

quote:

I Think My GM Wants to Eat Me

Alright, I know the title might turn you off, but I'm really worried and I was hoping I could get some advice. We've been meeting for Star Wars biweekly for about a few months so far and everything's been going really well! We blew up a Star Destroyer, did some reconnaissance on Hoth before the big battle and hunted down and revealed an imperial spy on the base on Yavin. That kind of stuff. Really good character stuff going on in between. The GM's a real good friend of mine and I've known him for a long time. But things got really weird after our last game. I had a thing going on before the game and I showed up a little late. Like 20 minutes or so by my reckoning. Everyone filled me in on what had gone on and we kept playing like usual. But then, in the game we got an urgent message to meet with a Hutt boss who wanted to make a deal with the rebellion. It was kind of out of left field but we figured we were probably going to get something good out of pursuing this quest line so we went.

Obviously, it was a trap and the Hutt betrayed us and was trying to sell us out to the ISB. After a short battle we all got captured and the other player characters were stuck in a floating repulsor harness. Then the Hutt character proceeded to eat my character. Like I didn't get to roll for anything or nothing. That would've been weird enough if he didn't spend like 3 whole minutes of uninterrupted description about how the Hutt's digestive system was squeezing down against me. The GM also had an orange in his hand that he was squeezing as he talked about it. There was a small cut into the orange which caused the juices to wrap around his hand while he very specifically described the Hutt gumming through my character.

It got to a point where I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom. I went and just sort of sat there for a while wondering what the hell was going on. After the game, the GM had somewhere he needed to go, which was fine because it would've been really uncomfortable for me to broach the subject with him.

After that, I really didn't feel like going back to the game. I was really uncomfortable, I didn't have a good time, and I just didn't wanna deal with any more weirdness, so I made up some excuse and quit the game. That would have been okay, and I could have just chalked it up to an incompatibility in playing style, but I see him regularly and things have changed between us. I see him around campus at the school I go to and I wave at him to be friendly and all that, but he just gives me this stare. At first, I wasn't sure what he was trying to convey, but I thought about the game, and I realized it was exactly like the look of hunger that he described the Hutt having before he jammed my character into his mouth. I eventually began to wave at him less and less, but he kept giving me that stare. Recently, he's begun carrying a bag of potato chips around with him, and as soon as he sees me, he just pulls one out, looks at me, then the potato chip, and just slowly slips it into his mouth, not even chewing. He just crushes the chip with his gums, getting it all over his face. It's disgusting. I don't even talk to him anymore, but I sometimes get texts from him about coming back to play, with scheduled times and everything. The weird thing is though, I asked my other friends who were in the game if they were still playing, and they said that the campaign ended a while ago.

quote:

I'm [23M] deaf and my student [18?F] won't leave me alone
I'm a graduate student at a large state university. I moved here last August with my partner of four years (27 M). I am Deaf and prefer to use sign language, but I have cochlear implants and am fine voicing for myself if people don't know sign.

I am doing some work for my new school's undergraduate LGBT program as a part of my studies, and there is a girl there that has become... I'm not sure this is the right word, but sort of fixated on me. She started off asking me questions about my CIs and then wanted me to teach her a sign here or there, which I did - I think it's nice when people make an effort to communicate with me. Then she started only communicating with me in awkward, broken sign language even though I have asked her to just use English.

I felt like she was probably just a socially awkward but very enthusiastic ASL student, but then she things got more and more uncomfortable. (I'm trying to keep this short-ish, so this isn't everything, but a few highlights.) She started showing up every time that I had office hours and asking me increasingly personal questions and touching and hugging me without my consent. If another student tries to talk to me she gets in between us and "interprets" the conversation, which maybe is her trying to be helpful but kind of feels like she is trying to control or infantilize me by not letting me speak for myself. She has been "interpreting" love songs and posting them on facebook and youtube and tagging me in them. My partner came to an event we threw and asked me something in English because his hands were full, and she told him off that I was Deaf and he was being disrespectful (I'm not sure she knew who he was, and he thought it was hilarious).

I got a brief hiatus over Christmas break but it has started up again full force since we've gotten back. My supervisor told me she is just being friendly, but I really don't like it and I want to be left alone. I don't know if she's romanticizing my deafness (thanks, Switched at Birth) or dealing with a personal issue or it's a crush or whatever, but I feel like she's trying to corner me and I want it to stop. How can I tell her to back off without making waves?

tl;dr: A student is being creepy about my and my Deafness and I'd like it to stop

WrenP-Complete posted:

quote:

I[29m] asked my girlfriend[30f] for an open relationship because I got a job offer in another state, she said no, that I was going to be manipulated by blonde gold-diggers.

I have been with my girlfriend Allison for four years. And I broke up with her two weeks ago. I recently have finished my residency program, and I have gotten an amazing job offer in another state. Due to the nature of Allison's career and my own, it would be really hard for us to have times to see each other.

I proposed that while we worked on trying to move to see each other, we had an open relationship. I have been in a relationship for a long time now, and well it would be fun to get with other people, plus I would have some free time. Allison was completely against this, saying that I am going to ruin the relationship. That I am going to fall in love with some gold digger, thats a lot hotter than her in New York.

I told her, that we have 4 years under our belt, and I have no desire to leave her for anyone. But, the way she was treating me was that I was going to be manipulated. The open relationship isn't what broke us up, it was more so how she treated me when we had the discussion, that I was her property, and I didn't know enough for myself.

If she framed it as, "hey I don't feel comfortable with you sleeping with other people, and I would be jealous of someone sleeping with you." That would be okay. Instead, "you are going to see some hot young blonde girl, that is going to manipulate you and take all your money." And it was also the fact, that I was not attractive to women, on my looks and personality alone, that the only reason a woman would want to date me is because of my job and potential earnings.

I ended up breaking things off with her. I feel really sad letting go of a relationship of so long, but I feel like I did the right thing because I could only imagine how crazy things might be if we were to get married. If I would have to report to her where I was constantly, because she didn't trust me. And it was the fact she thought the only reason a woman would want to date me was because of my money, not all the other positive things about me. She has since been begging me to get back together, but I think I made the right decision?

Tl;Dr- I broke up with my girlfriend of four years because I proposed an open relationship, and she thought I would be tricked by women into losing my money.

quote:

Relationships can be for anything. It's nothing more than two computers connected via ethernet, communicating via a common protocol, for a defined utility that makes both computers richer than they were offline.

When a computer is offline, all you can do is play with what's local. You need to write everything. Nothing changes unless you set it in motion. It's less exciting than the lively interactions from networking.

But there's different types of networking. They can be defined for specific applications, where the protocols and arrangements can be optimized for that use. For example, HTTP uses TCP, but it's optimized for websites. FTP is optimized for files.

quote:

CORPORATE MARRIAGE: A group marriage whose members register the union as a legal corporation, the terms of which spell out the financial entanglements and obligations of all the members.

DELTA: A triad, relationship, specifically a triad in which each person is sexually and/or emotionally involved with all the other people. Etymology: So named because the Greek letter Delta looks like a triangle. Usage: Seems to be primarily a regional expression in parts of the United States.

DEMOCRATIC FAMILY: Colloquial A family, typically a family practicing group marriage, in which all the adult partners are considered equal. [as opposed to what????]

ÉGOTISME À DEUX: (literally, French, egotism for two): A term used by members of the Oneida community for monogamy.

EMOTIONAL LIBERTARIANISM: A belief that every individual is entirely responsible for his or her own emotional responses, and that one person’s behavior is never the “cause” of another person’s emotion.

FLUID BONDING: Of or related to practices which involve the exchange of bodily fluids, such as barrier-free sexual intercourse and BDSM: «blood play». See related condom contract.

FREE AGENT: Colloquial A person who practices polyamory in a way that tends to separate or isolate all of his or her romantic relationships from one another, treating each as a separate entity. A free agent often presents himself or herself as “single” or behaves in ways that are typically associated with the behavior of a single person even when he or she has romantic partners, and often does not consider the potential impact of new relationships upon existing relationships when deciding whether or not to pursue those new relationships.

FREEMATE: A non-married partner in a group relationship. See related metamour, group marriage.

FRICTION PARTY: Colloquial; see cuddle party. Commentary: The term “friction party” is not trademarked; the term cuddle party is. Friction parties, unlike cuddle parties, are informal social gatherings that aren’t typically run as a business, may not be open to general admission (that is, they may be private), and may or may not charge for access.

FRUBBLE: A pleasant emotion of happiness arising from seeing one’s partner with another partner. Contrast wibble; See also compersion. Usage: Primarily British; less common outside the United Kingdom.

LESBIAN SHEEPITUDE: Colloquial A term used to describe a situation where one person has a romantic or sexual interest in another person, which may be reciprocated, but neither of them indicates this interest or makes the first move. Etymology: The colloquialism comes from the behavior of sheep; a female ewe indicates sexual interest and receptiveness by standing still, so two hypothetical lesbian sheep would indicate their sexual receptivity by each standing still, and no mating would take place. Commentary: This expression is often heard on the UseNet newsgroup alt.polyamory.

Tolkien minority posted:

a bunch of people posted their pics in the comments to "disprove" this notion. they uh, failed

quote:

OH) can I really get an ovi for jist acong "weird?"

I was following my girlfriend on an unknown territory. Had my GPS on bumped over a curb and straighted it out immediately. No harm done. Plus there was no traffic.

I get pulled over. I should also mention that I am in drug court from abusing benzos due a chronic pain and panic condition, but thas I'm the past. I am 100% sober.takes me in for sobriety tests and a urine test. Aced it all except a slight balance walking thay line that was very veryvshort. Everything else was perfect.

Now what the gently caress can o except? This is going to send me to jail since I'm in drug court!

quote:

I [25F] orgasm more than my partner [35M]. He says this is unfair, but is it?
submitted 26 minutes ago by throwaway53199

Using a throwaway to avoid bruised egos.

I'm highly orgasmic -- I'm lucky! I can orgasm easily from vaginal intercourse; I know exactly the right fantasies to focus on, the right movements to instruct my partners to help me get there, etc.

My partner of two years, who's 9/10 my favorite person in the world, is more difficult to get off. Whether it's due to coke or whiskey dick or death grip, it's always been a formidable physical challenge that some nights I'm just not up for, although I do my best to be GGG despite working a long shift. He needs a lot of physical stamina and focus. Frankly, at times, it can be exhausting.

I try not to resent him, considering I have the easier path. However, I feel a surmountable and growing resentment when he tallies the number of times I've orgasmed in comparison to his. First of all: women are multi-orgasmic. Secondly, I personally am extremely orgasmic. Of course he helps me get there, and I adore when he does, but I could masturbate in a variety of ways all day every day and bring myself to lovely orgasms till the cows come home. My orgasms are casual, aren't medal-worthy.

Constantly he calls me selfish. I try my very best to please him (oral, anal, vaginal, dirty talk, anything! I'm a giver and slightly submissive), but some nights it just doesn't happen for him.

I know in part some of his issue is coke/whiskey dick and in part death grip, but the majority of my issue is his attitude.

It's hard to cum when your partner accuses you of being selfish all the time.

Regarding communicating him, what can I do/say? No other lover has accused me of being selfish in bed. Am I missing some crucial step? Even suggesting Dan Savage's advice about avoiding death grip until the sensitivity returns to a dude's dick would hurt his ego. Please help!

TL;DR: look at me the right way and I cum. My partner requires an acrobatic parade. Who's right about the tally, and what can I do about it?

My boyfriend [21M] wants me [17F] to look "more Asian"

My BF and I have been dating for a year. He's my first real relationship and I really really love him. He is an awesome BF but we have our ups and downs.

A bit of background: I am half Chinese and half white. My BF is just white. I don't look very Asian...most people just think I'm Spanish or Italian or something. When I first told my BF that I was half Chinese he got very interested and started asking me more about my culture. He told me that he found me "more exotic" now that he knew I was part Asian. It kind of weirded me out at first because nobody had fixated so much on my race before but I shook it off as him not being very exposed to Asian culture.

Anyways, I have very curly hair and normally I keep it that way. Last week, I straightened my hair for an event my school hosted. I sent my BF some pictures of me at the event and he replied "You look so much more Asian with straight hair....I love it." And then on the phone he asked me if I could straighten my hair more often or maybe get it permed. I was like it takes me a lot of time to do that, but he replied that he wanted me to "look more Asian". I asked him why he wanted that and he replied with, "I don't know, just a preference I guess."

Is this a normal request? It feels rather strange to want your girlfriend to look more like a certain race. I'm happy with my curly hair and I don't want the hassle of straightening it or perming it. But my BF is insistent and says I'd look better.

TL;DR: I am half Chinese and have very curly hair. My BF prefers my straightened hair because it makes me "look more Asian". I feel a bit weirded out from this request..

quote:

Looking to sue my high school, what steps should I take (self.legaladvice)

I live in NY. I certainly have a case, I have been targeted by administrators at my school unfairly and suspended for an unholy amount of time. I am looking to sue for Emotional Distress, Preventing to further my education, and excessive punishment. I went to appeal my suspension at a "school court" hearing and they ended up giving me 5 more days. The principal even admitted that they had no proof to certain things I did, but because I am under the roof of the school, it doesn't matter. I recorded my hearing in which the assistant principal lied under oath. My parents are teachers at a neighboring school district so they don't want to get involved to hurt their image even though have been out of school for almost a month already and am behind in all my classes so I have to do this myself. Thank you.

quote:

My (30M) girlfriend's (24F) anime-geek friends (M29-34) drive me crazy and frankly, I want to beat them

So I'm kind of a nerd but not really in an obvious way. I don't have any nerd pride and I show it off to other people. I just so happen to like lots of nerdy things and kind of go off the mainstream quite a bit in terms of my interests, however I'd say that I as well as most of my friends were within the spectrum of 'normal' insofar that we didn't behave in such a way as to draw negative attention to ourselves.

My girlfriend is equally nerdy I'd say but she kind of branches off in a different direction. She likes Japanese stuff like anime, Nintendo, RPGs and so forth. I'm more of a sci-fi/science/history nerd. We've always overlapped enough that it hasn't been a problem and I've done/watched a lot of things she likes and vice versa. To be honest I find a lot of the stuff she enjoys to be a bit on the childish side (which I'll get to) and she knows this, however I've never judged her for it really and I just assume "different strokes for different folks". Lots of people like stuff I don't. I should also add that my girlfriend was 240lbs up until she was 21 and I used to be heavy as well. Now she's 155lbs (was 125 but I'll get to that later), I'm 150lbs and we both look great compared to how we were. I think this explains a lot.

Now the problem: we moved to a new city together and I bought a condo downtown. In one of the neighbouring apartment blocks lives a bunch of guys that all work together at a nearby Wal-Mart. They're all huge anime geeks, way moreso than her, so she spends a lot of time with them. Before I met them and she was just going over there I was a bit jealous but then I met them and realized I had nothing to worry about (think smelly, fat Napoleon Dynamites). My girlfriend is a very attractive girl but in her head I think she still thinks she's 200+lbs and unattractive which is why she makes the social choices she does. The problem is that I feel these guys are really going to drag her down.

The first thing is that they all work at Wal-Mart and room together which means they're perpetually broke. They don't beg for money that often but they have asked her before and some are paying it back in installments. It's almost always money for a video game or cards or a something for a cosplay outfit or an old console thing etc. Once it was even weird porn. I don't look down on people that work at Wal-Mart or anything but the way I see it is that they let their hobbies (hobbies which frankly I do look down on) overtake other aspects of their lives like their work. My parents give me a hard time about not moving forward enough and I make $60,000 a year. These guys make less than $20,000 a year (each) and live on ramen, pizza, junk food and spaghetti like I did when I was 18 and couldn't cook. They also don't take care of themselves at all (their apartment is so disgusting I don't even like stepping in the doorway). Big Bang Theory is a lie.

That's not the really bad part though. I could honestly get over the other stuff. It's when they talk that they bother me so much. Lately my girlfriend has been inviting them over, sometimes with other people they met in cosplay events (yes, seriously). Once they brought someone over who looked suspiciously young and I asked my girlfriend how old they were the next day, she said they were sixteen yet everyone was drinking well into the night with this kid there (who didn't drink fortunately). I got really mad because there are so many things wrong with a 24 year old and a bunch of people in their 20s/30s drinking and hanging out with someone who is sixteen yet no one seemed to understand why I had a problem with this as the kid is part of their group or whatever.

Anyway, when they're here they play video games, watch anime cartoons, drink, play board games and what not. I'm always 'invited' but never feel welcome (I'm sure they think I'm 'sheeple' or something). One night I was out with my friends, came home drunk to four of them with my girlfriend watching yet another anime. One of them asked me to join them, I said "it's not my thing, sorry", my girlfriend said "remember he thinks we're childish" and that sparked the first confrontation where we all learned that we hated each other. It went into them arguing about the merits of the anime they were watching, then their costumes, video games etc. as I started attacking all of it. My girlfriend went into our bedroom for most of this. I said the reason they liked this stuff so much is because they didn't do anything after high school (referring to university) like I did and wouldn't know what real cinema/art was if it jumped up and bit them on the rear end. I also said that they're the product of being coddled too much not having their asses kicked enough and I said that if they don't start growing up they're going to geek out until they all have heart attacks. My girlfriend heard about this after the fact and it cut into our relationship pretty deep. She was all about the three word sentences for the next week until I fired off an email to one of the guys apologizing for going over the top. Even then she was cold for awhile.

The last straw was when I went to a 'cosplay thing' (as I call it) with my girlfriend who was dressed up along with these guys, all as video game/anime characters. I was dressed up as awkward/embarrassed man who was there because of his girlfriend. During the convention I was fine because everyone else was dressed up but afterwards we drove back to our part of town where there are no people in costumes and they wanted to play outside while being dressed up which I ended up having to chaperon. I was so embarrassed to be seen with them that I tried to stand far enough away from them that I could protect them from getting beaten up yet not be seen as part of the group. If I saw someone I knew it would be mortifying and I wouldn't know how to explain it. I'm 30 for gently caress sakes. Luckily I didn't see anyone I knew but my girlfriend was pissed off at me for walking five feet apart from them all the time. At one point they started re-enacting something on the street by putting their hands up and yelling something in Japanese and then doing a weird little dance or karate thing (I honestly don't know). After about 150 dirty looks and twenty "you loving faggots!" later I whispered to my girlfriend that I couldn't be around these guys unless they "grew the gently caress up" and told her to come meet me at the coffee shop nearby when they were done. I've never had that much pissed off'edness in my voice before.

There are other things but these pretty much sum it all up. Keep in mind that aside from this--my girlfriend and I are totally fine. It's just that when she's with these guys, she's a different person. No costumes and no weird poo poo. It's like it's all confined to these guys which would be good if they were more down to earth (then hey--maybe I'd join in when they asked).

The thing is, when it comes to these guys and these hobbies/obsessions/autism whatever, she gives me zero inches in terms of how much credibility she gives to my arguments. She thinks I'm nuts and that any other person would be 100% okay with it. Her friends all echo this opinion (of course). I know they're trying to get her to break up with me so they can have me gone and if we didn't get along so well together when we were alone, then we would've broken up awhile ago. My friends on the other hand are the exact opposite and think I should break up with her and throw her friends off the balcony. It's really touchy.

Lastly, and this isn't something I'm shallow enough to get too bent out of shape over but she's gained about 30 pounds back since hanging out with them. She lost so much weight and did so well but since she spends half her time with them and half her time with me, she spends half her time eating nothing but potato chips and pizza. It's got to the point where I actually pointed it out and said that if she didn't stop mirroring them in this one aspect that she was going to be right back where she was in about a year. She has been working on it but it's understandably hard with all the pressure they inadvertently put on her to basically be like them. My friends and I go hiking and play paintball on weekends as well as lots of other outdoorsy stuff but I think the only way she'll go is if her friends go and they would never go (yes I did invite the whole lot of them). I tried to get her to get a job too but that will never happen because her parents send her a lot of money every month so she doesn't have to work and it's more money than she would ever get from any job she is qualified to do.

Am I crazy? I got beaten up a lot in high school for being the slightest bit nerdy and I've tidied up a lot since then. These guys took it to an extreme I wouldn't even have dreamed of and didn't have it beaten out of them? How is this fair? Why don't people beat the poo poo out of them? Why am I losing my girlfriend to this? I don't know what to do. I kind of think that my girlfriend takes things way too far and that if I don't really step in and balance things out, in a tactful way of course, she's going to go right off the edge with these guys.

tl;dr: I'm losing my girlfriend to a bunch of guys who think dressing up like video game characters and basing their whole lives around these kinds of hobbies is an okay thing to do, to the extent that their physical health and working life is sacrificed. The more my girlfriend hangs out with them the more I'm worried that she's going to become them (she already is in some ways). Who is in the wrong here and at what point do I just walk away?

Mirthless posted:

I get the overall impression from the story that he's lead his girlfriend on about how much of a "nerd" he is in an attempt to make the relationship work. Also, the six year age gap, the weight policing, etc, all make me think he's a creep. I have no doubt she and her friends are irritating but also there are some red flags here and it's hard for me to not consider the situation of a controlling partner driving away their partner's friends.

and lmao at "I used to get beaten up in high school... why aren't people beating these guys up? ", that is some pathetic poo poo right there

dude should get over her friends, and if he can't he should get out of the relationship. If he doesn't want to date 24 year olds who like anime and won't shut up about it he should get over his alt chick manic pixie dream girl obsession and start dating normal women his own age

quote:

Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] of a year, he is becoming extremely obsessed with his "waifu" and I don't know what to do

I've been going out with this guy for a while now, and for the most part it has been a very happy relationship. He doesn't look like the "otaku" (anime obsessed) type so I had no idea until it was past the second date or so. I don't even mind that he likes anime, he's even gotten me into a few series.

However, my boyfriend has recently become more and more obsessed with this anime character. He has a keyboard, body pillow, figurines, and posters around his dormroom with this chick semi naked. To make things worse, this girl looks like a 12 year old. Her personality/looks are almost completely the opposite of mine as well.

He has recently been refusing to go on runs with me (we both met through a cross country running club) because he prefers to lie around on the couch looking at pictures of his "waifu". It gives my self confidence a kick in the face when the boyfriend I thought loved me prefers to spend his time with a fictional character. He even admits that if she existed in real life that he would totally go for her, as if this relationship is not worth anything to him. We haven't been intimate for a few weeks now. How should I confront him on this? Am I overreacting? Please help!

EDIT: Should have included this before, boyfriend's younger sister died a month ago and this may be the reason why his obsession has spiraled out of control.
Re-Edit: I'm just going to reply to all of your comments here instead of individually. I'm going to confront my boyfriend today with his best friend to convince him to see a therapist. I'll submit an update later on how it goes. I know that not making the connection between his sister and his recent behavior reflects on my personality terribly but honestly, I didn't want to see it. I was in denial. My boyfriend is exactly the stereotypical stoic guy when it comes to feelings... mentioned his sister's death in a passing comment which lead to an argument after he refused to accept my condolences or talk more about it. I guess I just didn't want to connect the dots, he and his sister had a 10 year age difference and their family was very dysfunctional so it didn't seem like her passing effected him as much... Boy was I wrong. Thank you for your advice.

tl;dr: Boyfriend is becoming obsessed with an anime character. What should I do?

quote:

I [19F] alternate between feeling disgusted at my boyfriend's [18F] seeming attraction to anime characters and feeling disgusted at myself for not fully accepting him

My long-distance boyfriend and I have been best friends for years and in a relationship for two. I've never felt more at ease with anyone else in my entire life, I'm fascinated by his intelligence and eloquence and life philosophy, and I love how considerate and perceptive he is.

I always knew that my boyfriend liked Pokemon, cartoons, Japanese music, and videogames, including ones that feature scantily clad women, but I never gave it a second thought. As we grew closer, he started to send me the theme songs to animes that he watches because we always share our favorite songs with each other. I thought it was really weird that the main characters were always baby-faced teens with porn star boobs and squeaky voices, but then I thought about the gratuitous sex scenes in the TV shows that I enjoy and figured it wasn't that bad.

When my boyfriend visited me, we cuddled and chatted all day and then decided to watch each other's favorite TV shows. He showed me an anime and it grossed me out so much that I didn't even really want to cuddle with him that night. I won't mention the name of the series because my boyfriend Reddits, but there were all these slow panning shots of the high school girls' bodies and SO. MANY. SEX. NOISES. Girl waking up? Sex sound! Girl bumping into another character? Sex sound plus extended boob grazing! Girl working on an assignment? Sex sound plus a revealing school uniform! Girl crying because she can't save the day with her magic powers? Sex sound plus a heaving chest! I wouldn't call it a sex sound if it was just an ambiguous whimper, but it's always repeated, crescendoing whimpers accompanied by suggestive visuals.

Maybe I'm just prejudiced, but I also thought that the plot and dialogue were really childish and predictable, especially in contrast to the other things that my boyfriend enjoys. I, perhaps wrongly, started to suspect that he's sexually attracted to young anime characters, and a few things have aggravated this concern:

1) We narrate our fantasies when we're sexting, and one time when he was narrating what he imagined me saying, he said, "Onii Chan, #$@&%*!" Literally translated, Onii Chan means big brother but it's been sexualized by anime. I would never call my boyfriend my brother so I don't know where that came from.

2) He said that he loves watching CGDCT animes (Cute Girls Doing Cute Things) before bed because he always sleeps really well after watching them.

3) He shows me anime girls and asks, "Isn't she cute?"

4) When we were in high school, he masturbated to "anime that was basically porn" at least once because he didn't have access to regular porn. I know he has needs but the idea of him whacking it to anime girls is cringy to me.

I've mentioned a few times that I dislike how sexualized his favorite anime characters are, and he assured me that he liked the plot and that the sexualization is just fan service. The more animes he tells me about, the more I see that the plots could be interesting. But when I actually look up the animes and see how the girls look and act amidst a potentially decent plot, I can't get past my disgust. I also get a little jealous. And then I feel like a bad girlfriend and a bad person for looking down on something that he enjoys.

Should I ask my boyfriend point blank if he's attracted to anime characters? Is it damning to our relationship if he is? Am I just an intolerant person?

tl;dr: My boyfriend appears to be attracted to anime characters; what should I do?

quote:

My [26 M] roommate has turned into the roommate from hell ever since I [26 M] got together with my girlfriend [24 F]. The worst thing is that he constantly keeps his door open while streaming graphic hentai videos and pictures. Are things with my friend irreparable? Should I listen to my girlfriend?

Background:

For the last two years, I started renting a small townhouse with my good and close friend, "John." I've known John for eight years. He's always been the awkward, weird guy. He is sometimes moody and intense, but he is generally a good guy and largely misunderstood. He is very into anime and has tons of posters, figurines, and regularly attends Anime Expo each year.

I started dating my girlfriend, "Jennifer," about six months ago. Before I got with Jennifer, my roommate was also interested in her. She would come over a few times, but she made it really clear that she wasn't going to be anything but friends with him. Even though this happened, John and Jennifer got along well and she still came over to hang out.

So we all got into a normal routine, Jenn would come over, hang out with John, and then I would pop down make dinner and have dinner with the both of them. Eventually, Jenn and I started to talk to each other, and little by little, I started to really like her. One night, when John was in the restroom, I asked her out and was amazed that the feelings I had were mutual.

Anyways, I wanted to make sure things were okay with John. He said that he was totally cool with us dating and said that he was already interested in someone else. So we started dating. She comes over sometimes during the week and only stays over on weekends to respect John's privacy. John told me that she could still come over whenever she wanted as long as we all could hang out like before.

She hasn't treated John any differently, and out of respect for him, I've tried not to be too physically affectionate with her when we're hanging out. Also, when she's over on the weekends, we are very quiet about being intimate. Most weekends that she is over, we don't do anything but sleep to make sure that John doesn't get weirded out.

My problem:

A month after we started dating, John became the roommate from hell. John started to withdraw and become increasingly brooding. Often, I would see him sulking and depressed. After a bit, he stopped hanging out with Jenn and me. When I asked John if he was okay, he said that he was going through some personal stuff and just not in the mood to hang out. So we started leaving him alone and just enjoying our time together.

It seems as if his personal issues were being expressed in different ways. Before, John was a relatively clean and tidy person. Now, he just leaves his dishes in the sink for weeks. I have reminded him tons of times about doing his dishes. Furthermore, he knows that I am a little particular about sharing personal things, especially my plates, utensils, and cookware, but when he runs out of his dishes, he uses my stuff anyway.

Then, he started leaving his dirty laundry in the hallways. At first it was just his jacket or something, and then slowly it was his dirty socks, and now he just leaves whatever he wants outside his door. When I confronted him about this, he rolled his eyes and just told me that he was too lazy. So I started grabbing garbage bags to bag his poo poo, and toss it into his room when the front of his room was too dirty.

Now, here is the worst thing. John, like I mentioned, is really into anime. And not only anime stories, but also into anime porn, which is called hentai. Usually, he is a really private person, and we don't talk about those subjects at all. If he did get off to this stuff, it was all on his own time.

The first time it happened was about a month ago. I walked by his room and I saw that he was watching a really raunchy anime porn. I was taken aback by what I saw, but I just cleared my throat loudly and walked past his room. Then, I heard the door slam shut. Maybe he forgot to close his door or thought that no one was home. I thought this was an isolated incident, but it happened a few more times. Each time that I saw him though, he wasn't doing anything else but browsing.

After one of these times, I sat down with John when he came downstairs to have dinner and I asked him to start closing his door if he was doing something that was private. John just silently watched me and scoffed as if I was saying something unreasonable. He apologized, but it didn't seem like it was sincere. I told Jenn about what was going on, but she dismissed it.

Anyways, the last straw for me was last week. Jenn came over and after saying hi to John, she came to my room to hang out. After mulling our evening plans for awhile, we decided to catch a movie. Jenn went to John's room to ask him if he wanted to tag along. All of a sudden I heard her scream, followed by John's door slamming shut.

After calming down a bit, Jenn told me that when she went over to John's room, John's door was half closed and she heard soft voices coming from his door. It wasn't uncommon for John to watch anime with his speakers on, so Jenn just pushed the door open. She said that she felt like bleaching her eyes out. Basically she saw something with tentacles doing nasty things to an anime girl. However, that wasn't what caused her to scream. She screamed when she saw that John was standing in front of his monitor, hands down his pants, and masturbating furiously. She says she didn't see his penis, but she at least saw him making the motions in his pants. I asked if she wanted to call the cops or something, but she didn't feel threatened just perved out by him.

Now, Jenn won't come over to our place anymore, wants me to cut ties with John, and move in with her. I agree that Jenn shouldn't come over anymore since it is obviously upsetting. There are two main problems though, Jenn really wants me to leave my friend. However, I've only been with Jenn for six months. It feels like that's not long enough for me to make any long term plans with someone I've known for so little time.

Also, I'm not sure what to do about my roommate. I'm not sure if why his behavior has changed so drastically since I started dating Jenn. I wish I could understand him because he was really a pretty good friend. It's a shame if I can't repair my friendship with him since it's been so long. What do you guys think I should do?

TL;DR: Since I started dating a girl my roommate claims to no longer be interested, he has started to be a dirty person and also keeps his door open while looking at graphic hentai pictures/videos, which has come to a head when he scared my girlfriend last week. Is there anyway to repair my friendship? Should I listen to my girlfriend even though we've only been together for so little time?

Pvt.Scott posted:

Eugenics from a purely genetics-based view with the goal to solely eliminate birth defects and congenital diseases and the like is an ok idea. Lol if you think any program like that would stay on mission, though.

Zelder posted:

please stop posting that loving trash fiction

quote:

I [14M] bought myself swords/knives online. My mother is taking them away because my brother [17M] cut my arm open with one last night by mistake

Cam you please help me, I don't use Reddit but I don't know where else to ask? My mom is taking away my knife/swords I keep on display in my room. She paid for them and she thinks they belong to her even though she gave them to me. Last night I did have to go to the ER. My brother was messing around with one of them and I was trying to get it back. It was a Katana thst was $400 and really sharp. He cut my arm and I needed stitches for it.

She's taking away everything and say's she hated it in the house in the first place. Please help, she's taking me poo poo away and I did nothing wrong.

TL;DR: Moms taking my poo poo away.

quote:

My [19F] little brother [8M] got hurt and is going to be in hospital for 2 weeks at the max. I bought him a 3DS and Pokemon Moon. My brother [17M] is mad because I did not buy him a video game.

I don't want to say what I do, but at my age I am not short on money. I help my family out when I can if they need it. My little brother does not ask for much so I decided to get him a gift. I'm closer to my younger siblings [8M and 10F] than I am [17M]. I'm the oldest.

My mom told me he liked playing Pokemon go when they went for walks. So I thought I would buy him a Pokemon game to play with. He was so happy, I got the best sister ever line from him. He liked the water stater. My brother [17M] was all lovely because I did not buy him a video game that mom said no to.

He tried calling our younger brother a nerd. I pointed out to him that younger brother got this injury playing football with his friends and that he loves sport. And everyone no matter who they are as a child probably watched or liked a super hero, watch naruto or Pokemon or Dragon Ball Z, hell even wrestling was big when Stone Cold was around. It's not nerdy. He told me I should buy him a video game or else he would take Pokemon away from younger brother.

I told my mother and she said she would sort him out, but I can't take his lovely attitude anymore. He only calls me or mom when he wants something because he lives with our father. I'm at Uni Part/Online while I follow my career. He does nothing but sit on his fat rear end and play COD all day. How do I handle communication with 17M.

tl;dr: How do I handle communication with 17M? He seems jealous when our child siblings get something over him and he only ever calls when he needs or wants something. He is just such an rear end to everyone.

quote:

My boyfriend of 2 years [24 M] tells me his kinks, and I [22 F] get uncomfortable.

Hi everyone.

I feel silly making this post since I think I'm making a big deal over nothing, but frankly, it has been bothering me a lot lately. Also, this post might contain some nsfw material.

Honestly, I don't know where to start or how to construct this post. I have been together with (I'll call him Dean) for 2 years. He really likes anime. I've watched maybe two full series of anime, and I have a really hard time getting into it, but I respect his interest in anime. Anyway, sometimes I'll watch anime with him and I will become incredibly uncomfortable when I see a lot of fan service. He also likes video games a lot, and sometimes I'll play video games with him as well which are fun. He'll occasionally point out a hot female character or say that her outfit is really hot and I kind of shut down. I'm not sure how to explain. I almost get physically sick when I hear him say this or I think about it later on my own.

He has also expressed certain kinks that I won't share out of fear of them being too obvious. They are kinks that are specific and it is physically impossibly for me to fulfill. This really bothers me, not because he is expressing his kinks but because I know I cannot amount to what he desires while other women can. For the record, he is the first person I have had sex with.

I guess I come with this question: Is it that I am incredibly insecure? I know this is a problem in the relationship, but I'm not sure how to fix it. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. If I left out any information, let me know and I will clarify anything that I can.

tl;dr: I feel incredibly inadequate and I feel sick when my boyfriend expresses his kinks.

Pick posted:

If I had to guess, it's some of the really stupid/crazy ones like breast inflation, tit... guns? ... hyperballs?

Pick posted:

You have to swallow at least 1 cup of African-American semen to be not racist. (240 mL)