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May 2, 2024 06:31
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Let's play guess the religion that led to this hilarity
The guy (28/M) I'm (25/F) dating is a virgin, and doesn't seem to know anything about sex
She should teach him sex wrong, as a joke.
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Oct 2, 2016 01:51
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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he should poo poo at work since he's at least getting paid for it
The only way to live
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Oct 5, 2016 00:53
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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When I hear my crush masturbating right next to me, I: Go outside and sit in the cold, windswept grass, frozen in terror until the sun comes up.
Don't forget to post about it on reddit!
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Oct 5, 2016 00:57
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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We spent like $2000 on a tiny picnic wedding and it was fantastic fun and chill as heck to plan. Just lol at people who start their marriages off by blowing a shitload of money and getting massively stressed about organizing a huge event.
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Oct 6, 2016 01:19
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Maybe he ran away from the purse to get help, you ever think of that huh?
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Oct 7, 2016 23:58
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Anyone on r/relationships can feel better that at least they aren't on r/polyamory and anyone on r/polyamory can feel better that at least they aren't on r/incels.
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Oct 13, 2016 01:38
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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lmao that dog story is the best, I'm glad you posted the whole thing because a grown rear end woman buying clippers from the store, shaving a dog with them and then expecting the store to take them back makes it twice as good.
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Oct 18, 2016 00:19
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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The dad of that goony man child should also start playing videogames all night and embrace sleeping all day on the 'if you can't beat them join them' principle.
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Oct 19, 2016 00:10
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Pregnancy lady has it together and isn't taking his poo poo, so it's not really lol material and I just feel bad for her. But wow how dumb do you have to be to go 'well this guy is cheating on his pregnant current wife I sure would like to be married to this person that is a good decision about marriage'.
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Oct 20, 2016 10:15
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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quote:Because of this, my aunt & uncle treat him like he’s made of glass, but they also treat him like he’s much younger than he is. They have issues letting him grow up, basically. So real quick, here’s some of the weird stuff they do:
- His bed time is 8pm. He has to be in bed by 8pm, then his parents cuddle him and read to him until he falls asleep.
- He has never slept over at another kid’s house, and has only been on one playdate at someone else’s house. His parents attend all the birthday parties he is invited to.
- He is not allowed to consume any age-appropriate media. My aunt insists that his favourite show is Shaun the Sheep. He’s never been allowed to read or watch past the first two Harry Potter books/movies because my aunt think they are ‘too scary.’ And even those two were heavily censored, with him never reading/watching any of the scenes in the Chamber of Secrets or with Voldemort/Quirrell in the first book.
- They tell him when to go to the bathroom. This made sense for a while, because they had difficulty potty-training him, but...he’s 12. I think he knows at this point if he needs to have a bowel movement. Instead, they ask him to go sit on the toilet for a half hour and they check (!) to see if he was ‘successful.’
- They pull out the back of his pants to check if he’s ‘clean.’ The way you check if a toddler has used their diaper. I wish I was kidding.
Would you rather: have alcoholics for parents or have these people for parents?
I'm going with the people who at least let me poo poo on my own schedule.
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Oct 21, 2016 23:21
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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I want more euphemisms for drugs as lame as "jazz cabbage" to annoy my children with, hypothetically should I ever actually have children.
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Oct 22, 2016 15:17
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Me [29F] with my bf [29M] of 2 and a half years, had a disagreement during dinner and he physically assaulted me. Now I'm scared and in pain and I don't know what to do
quote:(Sorry this might be one whole text as I'm on mobile)
Firstly I just wanted to say that I'm not entirely blameless because I know I overreact to things but getting hit by a man for the first time in my life was a huge shock for me as I have never been treated with such in past relationships.
Also I don't know if telling you about my history will do anything but since I was 7, I had been emotionally and mentally abused everyday by a immediate family member. At the age of 13, I was diagnosed with servere depression because of it. I was suicidal from age 13-21. I lived with this abuse from age 7 - age 28 which was about the time I finally moved out of my family home. This abuse have changed and made me into someone that distrust quickly and have severe and quickly changing mood swings.
The bf was bought up alone by his mentally crazy mother and he have his own issues.
About a month and a half ago, we've been going to couple counselling to work on our relationship.
A few hours ago my bf came home from a half-day at work (he's a chef) and he made us dinner an hour later. (Because he wanted to)
Everything was fine between us when he got home.
He refused to let me be around the kitchen while he was cooking, saying "I'm annoying when I'm around him while he was cooking." I only went to the kitchen to put the now dried dishes on the dishing rack so he will have more room to work with and then I went back out.
When he was nearly done cooking, he asked me to set up the table, which I did and then we sat down together to eat.
He was tucking into his steak and made a comment like "mmm! This is so good. It's way better than going out and paying so-and-so amount of money going out to eat when you can do it at home. Look, it's still pink" or something along those line.
I haven't started eating mine yet so I cut off a piece and teasingly pointed out that mine wasn't pink, it was cooked. (I cut off a piece from the edge, so of course it'll be cooked)
He then pointed out that it's because I didn't cut from the middle and then started to cut my steak in the middle for me and I started protesting (because I hate it when other people touches my food and he knows this) saying "stop, yes I know. I was just joking"
He continued cutting and I was telling him I know so stop cutting my food. And I was getting slightly agitated and annoyed at this point. So I started to cut up my food roughly and shoving them roughly in my mouth so show my annoyance.
He told me to stop doing that and to stop being such a bitch and I told him I told him to stop cutting because I know and I was just joking and he didn't stop. And this was my plate of food and I can eat it whichever way I wanted.
I then continued eating and he watched me for a few seconds and then started screaming at me and then he was off his chair and came around to me and suddenly roughly grabbed my head in his hands screaming things in my face and squeezing my head hard between his hands. I try to break free from his hands by trying to claw my hands on his head and face and he suddenly let go. It all happened so fast. He went and sat down for a second, started calling me a loving bitch etc etc and so I said that he was a loving motherfucker and then he jumped off his chair and slapped me hard across the left side of my face and ear.
By this time I was crying like crazy and ran into my room and collapsed on the ground bawling my eyes out.
He came in 15 mins or so later (not to apologise) saying "get up, get up" and I was shaking my head and crying and trying to make myself into a ball and refused. He left and came back and set my plate of food next to me and left again.
Probably 45 mins later he came back in again telling me to get up and sit down. There was no apology to doing what he did and he justified his actions because I had shoved him before in the past. So I said that what he was saying was that he thinks it's ok for him to have done what he did just because I shoved him or hit him in the chest in the past. Like an eye for an eye.
After a while I got up and he took me to the lounge and sat me down on the couch saying "so, can you tell me what just happened?"
Him asking me bought back the way he had slapped me without even feeling sorry for his actions made me start crying again and shutting myself down.
We sat there apart for an hour or so and from the way he act, he didn't seem like he have a care in the world. After an hour of silence he got up saying "What to you want to do Cazzaroll? I can't do this anymore. This can't go on like this etc" something along those lines and walked off to his room.
It was like it was my fault that made his hands grip my head and it was me that made his hand slap my face and ear. I am not saying I am entirely not at fault. Yes, in some way, I did probably contributed to raising his temper but in no circumstances was it ok for him to hit me and hurt me in that way. (After all his bragging about how he would never hit a woman and all)
I know there are some work about myself I also need to work on and I know he does too. But he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with himself as far as he's concern.
Tldr: Bf made us dinner, dinner turned into bf physically assaulting me. Then he made it seem like it was all my fault and I was the one who started it.
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Oct 23, 2016 12:44
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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My [27F] boyfriend [24M] of 2.5 years refuses to grow up, even though I'm currently pregnant with his child.
quote:For a bit of background, both me and my boyfriend still live at home with our parents. I still live as home as I have quite severe social phobia, I don't have a job and therefore can't afford to move out. I'm aware that I have issues and will work on them as much as I can so I can be a good mother to my child. My parents and I get along most of the time.
My boyfriend is outgoing, social and has a job. However he still lives at home because he's admitted he isn't ready to grow up yet. He has what I view as a pretty odd relationship with his (strongly Christian) parents. He never argues with them, even when they're doing or saying something out of line. He just takes it because "you only get one mother and father". I can appreciate that respect but he just takes it too far and it's like he's a child afraid to stand up to them.
He has a savings account with a lot of money in it, but his mother prevents access to it, despite him being a 24 year old man. He doesn't know how to pay bills, how to operate a washing machine, how to even open another bank account.. he lets his mum do it all for him. He's very clingy towards his mother and defends her when she's being horrible. She hates me and wants him to break up with me because I'm quiet and don't have a job, despite the fact I love him and have never done anything to hurt him. He lets it happen and doesn't speak back to her because he 'can't change her opinion'.
Last week they went to Germany for a few days and my boyfriend was left home alone, so we had a pizza night with 4 of his friends, who are also Christian and 'well behaved'. His mum phoned him during this and he had to lie and pretend he was alone because they wouldn't approve of him having anyone over, despite the fact he's a 24 year man and his friends are harmless. No alcohol was involved and we just played a few games like hangman and stuff. I found it depressing that his mother wouldn't let that happen if she had known.
Obviously now that I'm expecting a baby, I want him to grow up a little more, talk to his parents like an adult and not a scared child, and maybe we could have our own place together.
He says he doesn't want that because he's not ready to grow up yet and he's happy how he is, and if I try to change him I should just go and find someone else.
This is coming from a guy who works with children once or twice a week at church, thinks babies are adorable, and is always saying how a child needs its father and it's not fair when they're left alone with just a mother.
I probably haven't worded all of this as accurately as I could have, and it's hard to cover everything is a few paragraphs... but I really don't know what to do right now.
I fear being left raising the baby while he stays with his mummy and daddy and only sees his child when it suits him, and feels hard done by when I need money to get stuff for the baby because he feels that's taking money away from his "promising future". (resubmitted, I hope that's ok)
tl;dr : Boyfriend is pretty immature but I really need him to grow up for the sake of our coming baby. He doesn't feel it's necessary because he's happy and resents me for suggesting it.
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Oct 23, 2016 12:53
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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I had a drunk friend confide in me about his small penis. I gave him my best sex advice and no one will ever find out about it from me. Making jokes and teasing your friends can be fun and cool but for god's sake pick topics that aren't going to actually upset them or you're a lovely, lovely friend.
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Oct 24, 2016 01:24
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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hello im a 28 year old man, the scariest thing that ever happened to me was a 22 year old girl hitting her jeep with a book. stay safe america.
You suck.
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Oct 24, 2016 22:49
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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My [20m] brother [26m] strongly resents me due to girl issues and has treated my girlfriend poorly. Should I cut off contact with him or is there anything I can to help?
Oh god it's an incel
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Oct 27, 2016 05:58
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Every time I tell my roommate it's OK to put tacky poo poo up in the living room, he puts more tacky poo poo up in the living room! Someone who is good with people help me figure this out.
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Oct 27, 2016 23:47
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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OK so what's the deal with people going on breaks in their relationships? Has anyone ever had a relationship work after going on a break because it seems like it's all trainwrecks and desperation?
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Nov 1, 2016 00:04
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Reddit desperately needs the services of PG Wodehouse's Jeeves.
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Nov 2, 2016 07:46
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Me [40/F] with my Fiance [43/M], 1 year together. My Fiance breathes deeply out of his mouth when talking on the phone and it drives me insane.
quote:I recently noticed that my fiance breathes heavily when we are
talking on the phone and it drives me insane. I want to reach
through the phone and punch him in the face. I don't notice his
breathing when we are together. He uses a hands free headset when
on the phone so maybe that is why his breathing is emphasized. He
is also never still when on the phone, always running around and
doing something. He's definitely not out of shape or overweight so
it's odd that he is breathing heavily. I cannot stand the sound of it
and I become really irritated. I dread talking on the phone with him.
I am wondering if this is just something I've never noticed before or
if it's something new. Any suggestions? I have mentioned
how irritated the sound of his breathing makes me and he thinks I'm
making a big deal about nothing, basically he thinks I just need to
get over it.
tl;dr: My Fiance breathes heavily while on the phone and it
drives me crazy.
The mental formatting is the OP's, and I think it adds a charming poetic aspect to the post.
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Nov 4, 2016 01:41
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Me (23F) and BF (27M) of two years. I am struggling with forgiving myself, and it is messing with my day to day life.
quote:Hi, I have a tendency to be long-winded but I'm going to do my best to keep this shorter. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot but through tons of hard work and therapy, our relationship is amazing right now. I love him so very much, and he is truly the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. It is crazy that I am able to say that--I am usually so indecisive, especially about relationships, but I love him. However, it was extremely tough for us about two and a half months ago. I was stressed about some school-related stuff, as was he, and we were coming off the honeymoon phase hard after moving in together. I had pleaded for things to change for months, for him to be more expressive and helpful, but nothing changed and he remained unhelpful around the house, etc, and emotionally unavailable. This distance and resentment all culminated in one terrible, awful weekend, in which he and I both made tons of mistakes (he skipped my dad's 50th birthday for a funeral after telling me he would only be there for an hour--he stayed for 10 hours, got poo poo-faced and high and lied about it, hung up on me, left me alone in a neighborhood we didn't know in the middle of the night--I was shoved by a crazy drunk guy because of this, we missed a romantic weekend because of this and bailed on money, plans, and friends, he broke up with me while drunk, and I ended up fooling around with an ex after the break up & didn't tell him right away about that for fear that we wouldn't be able to fix things if he knew. I came clean a week later and we have worked on it since). We were very close to staying broken up over everything that happened, but after talking about it and realizing that all the mistakes had come because of the distance that had grown between us over the past few months, we doubled down on boundaries, being emotionally available for each other, communication, etc. I can honestly say right now that things are the best they have ever been with us--he is finally making some connections to what I like as far as romantic gestures and where communication is concerned and we are amazing lately, really--I mean that.
This brings me to my stress right now: Boyfriend frequently messed up in the past, over big and small things (see past post history) but we have always gotten past those issues without any problems because I never resented him--I just wanted to help him through what went wrong because I love him. I, on the other hand, haven't really done much to warrant any animosity throughout this relationship up to this point. I have had much more experience with relationships than him, and it's been quite the uphill battle bringing him up to speed on how they tend to work. This subreddit has been invaluable for that, by the way, so thanks for that. Anyhow, I hold myself to a very stringent moral code and even though boyfriend has forgiven me for what happened while we were broken up with my ex, I don't think I have forgiven myself. In individual therapy, I have a terribly hard time viewing myself as a good person because of my mistakes already--but this is even worse. I know no long-term relationship is without its issues, but I feel horrible still for what I did to jeopardize us. We can't pretend that we have a fairy tale relationship ever again--things have gone wrong. I know that these feelings will easily prevent me from making the same mistakes ever again, but how do I move past the wrong I have done him? I wanted everything to be perfect for us...or maybe I could at least feel comfortable knowing that even though he had messed up, I was perfect. I don't know. I just hate myself for hurting him. I love him with all my heart. What I do know is that I get anxious about the situation once a week, usually when I'm already stressed about other stuff. I know that these feelings can only harm myself and our relationship in the long run. And I know I struggle with wanting to be perfect in all aspects of my life already, so I'm probably nervous about him thinking I'm flawed in this way now...or admitting to myself that I am flawed. I was raised to be this way--never showing flaws or faults because that would mean you weren't 'good' enough, in so many ways. I even have pretty bad anxiety about going back to therapy over this, individuals or couples, because I fear the judgement I guess. What if we bring it up again in couples counseling and he is upset by it and leaves? I know it's not that bad in my head, and I know it isn't realistically the end of the world to be alone, but for me it would be horrible because I love him so much, and this crushing feeling in my heart just seems to emerge now and then. It's almost impossible to alleviate when that happens and it gets into the way of everything--even my studies.
I should be happy. We have a great life, we have vacations planned, things are great except for this sinking feeling of...I'm not sure. Not being good enough, I guess. I know he accepts my flaws, so why can't I?
A serial poster to /r/relationships and also /r/exmormon, go figure.
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Nov 4, 2016 02:00
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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RPW is just redpillers writing fiction with one hand, right? Right?
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Nov 4, 2016 09:30
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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My [28M] dog [2M] barks at bees [~0F]. What can I do?
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Nov 5, 2016 01:26
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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I (27m) am overwhelmed with the amount of pre-requisites that are needed in order to be even considered dateable.
quote:So what am I supposed to do? I'm tired of honestly going home and crying on the bathroom floor. I'm tired of being tired.
e: from his sadbrain posting history
quote:What do you think is the psychology behind the "cuckold" fetish/kink? quote:[27M] CT. Bull. Looking for couples.
submitted 2 months ago by turtlelevelslow
165lbs 6'2" 6.5-7" cock Athletic build Heathy Smart Respectable.
Sane, clean and respectable. Looking for couples that are into cuckolding or hotwifing. Respect and comfort are extremely important to me as well keeping discretion. If any couples are interested I can send photos and or video if requested via PM. I'm located in the Hartford area but can travel all around our small state.
If interested I can give a lot more details via PM and or I'll probably edit this later on since I'm on mobile at the moment. lazorexplosion fucked around with this message at 06:14 on Nov 7, 2016
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Nov 7, 2016 05:55
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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What does this mean? I've seen it mentioned a couple times, and from the context it's probably not something I want in my google search history
Check the first three pages of this this thread if you want to know more about old norse
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Nov 7, 2016 11:30
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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One of my best friends somehow got super into ancient alien conspiracies, to the point where he kept derailing conversations to bring it up with everyone he could. It ended when his girlfriend recruited me and two other friends into an intervention where we all dunked on him viciously until he relented.
lmao this sounds like a good time. 'Hi, today we prepared a presentation on how dumb you are. Save your questions for the end.'
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Nov 11, 2016 07:40
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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My (27F) fiance of 2 years (29M) left with no warning a couple days ago. He's acting like our relationship was a casual fling and I can't get my head around what's happening. I'm a mess.
quote:Hi /r/relationships. You all seem to have good insight into the possibilities as to why people sometimes do the things they sometimes do, so I'm hoping you can help me out here.
So the usual. My fiance "Rick" and I were engaged for 2 years, together 3 1/2 all total. Like any couple we had our ups and downs and minor problems here and there, etc etc. Honestly no major issues though, at least none he ever brought up. We managed to work through anything that did come up with communication and compromise. There really was no issue on which we couldn't do that. AFAIK we were on the same page with careers, kids (childfree) and all the important stuff.
I've been through some breakups in my day, and I've been through a few bad breakups, but never in my life would I have imagined anything like this.
I came home from work on Saturday and all of Rick's things were just gone. He must have had a small army help him move, and this came totally out of nowhere. We were completely fine the night before. Went out to dinner, met up with some friends, had fun, had a few drinks, had great sex, talked about Thanksgiving plans with our respective families and went to sleep cuddled up.
And then the next day he's just gone. No explanation, no note, no sign of problems, not even a passive aggressive anything anywhere.
So of course I called him. And of course I was crying. I don't honestly remember what I said exactly, but I know I didn't curse him out or anything, I was far too hurt and confused and just..... like wtf just happened?
And what does he say? "Come on, [my name], you have to get past this. Relationships end every day."
I swear to god it hadn't even been 12 hours since he packed up all his stuff and left, and he's talking like I'm the psycho ex who can't let go and is still calling him 6 months later??? We weren't even having any problems!!!!!
He eventually said "Look, this isn't helping anything." and just hung up.
I texted him today, calmer, and said "Look, if you don't want to be with me, I guess there's nothing I can do about that. But we were planning a future and a life together, I gave you over 3 years of mine in good faith, I would at least like an explanation of what you think went so wrong that you felt you had to leave without telling me or even trying to solve the problem. You are very special to me, and I believed that you felt the same about me. If you're getting cold feet about marriage, there were MUCH better ways to handle it, but maybe for whatever reason you felt you couldn't talk to me about it? If that's it, you can, and while I'm not sure we can fix this, I would at least be willing to listen to what you have to say."
He texted back "Your problem is that you got involved, and here's all this talk of investment that I hoped wouldn't come up. It was your choice to spend 3 years with me. There is nothing to fix, you need to stop focusing on me as your "someone special". I cannot be that."
You guys..... I don't even know what hit me. I mean obviously he's done. But what the actual gently caress happened in my life just now? One minute I'm planning a future with the man I love, and the next he's acting like we were never anything? Am I crazy? Did I just imagine that we've lived together for the last year and a half? Were the family dinners and the save the dates all a big dream and none of it ever happened? If I look at my pictures that I think he's in, am I really in them alone and there never was a Rick?
And how is it my problem/my choice that I got involved with someone who asked me to marry them? Even when I've broken up with someone because they've done something so awfully unforgiveable I couldn't imagine spending another second with them, there's STILL been leftover feelings of the time we spent together and the plans and hopes we had when things were good. I thought that was pretty normal?
How could he have been this checked out and I never noticed? He never mentioned anything was wrong. He never even acted any different. He wasn't distant, home less, there were no weird excuses like drinks with friends or working late, we had the same amount of sex, we laughed just as much, hell, we just adopted a kitten together and he did throw in "And you can keep Tucker, tell him I love him" as afterthought and maybe to twist the knife, he misses the kitten we've had for 4 months more than me?
I mean, I suppose I could have been the side chick this whole time, I've read stories like that on here, and right now I can't rule anything out. I'm flip flopping between absolute confusion, anger, anguish, and some feeling like I just want to chase him down and get in his face and do.... idek what... until he tells me WHY (I mean, I won't, obviously I never knew this man).
Where do I go from here? What the hell just happened? How do I move on from this? How is this even possible?
tl;dr My fiance left with no warning. We had no problems. Over the course of 2 conversations, he was saying things that sounded like this was only ever a casual fling and I'm some overly attached FWB or stalker. What the ever loving gently caress happened? How do I move on? How do I ever trust anyone again?
3 1/2 years total, 2 years engaged. Is this the biggest ghosting we've ever had? Kinda curious what the highest score is on that front.
lazorexplosion fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Nov 15, 2016
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Nov 15, 2016 03:46
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of almost a year spends 2 hours putting on makeup every day
Posting this anonymously because my girlfriend posts on reddit and knows my account. I would also like to add a disclaimer that I am not trying to control her appearance and I understand that women wear makeup for reasons other than wanting to be attractive to men. My issue with the makeup is that it's affecting other areas of my girlfriend's life and our relationship.
My [24M] girlfriend [24F] and I have been together for almost a year. The one year anniversary of the day we met and had our first date is actually this Friday. She is a good person. It's not just about looks because I am attracted to her personality as well. I really am. But her excessive makeup is affecting her life in other areas and our relationship.
When we first started dating I didn't realize how long it took to put on so much makeup. I knew she wore it but I was clueless as too how much/how long it took. My girlfriend will spend at least 2 hours every morning applying makeup. It doesn’t matter what her plans are for the day, she will spend at least 2 hours doing it, whether she is just going to be at home alone watching TV or running out to the store quickly or going to work. Last year on New Year’s Eve I found out that she spent 3.5 hours doing it before she went out. I asked her once and she says she uses at minimum 25 different makeup products every day. She sleeps in full makeup and never washes it all off. The first couple of times we spent the night together I thought the only reason she slept with it on was because we had been out all night dancing or at a pub and we were tired and just kind of came back to one of our places and fell right asleep. But she does it every single night. She does it even when she is sleeping alone and I am not there. She wears her full makeup into the shower and is careful to get as little of it off as possible. She doesn’t wash off her old makeup from before when she put makeup on for a new day, she puts more on over it. She says it’s been at least 5 years since she has seen herself without any makeup at all on.
As I said it’s not about her appearance (I would not mind seeing her without makeup but I don’t want to control her or tell her just for appearance reasons) but it’s about how it is affecting our relationship and her personal life as well. Some examples: Recently I had to travel for work. When I got back my brother was supposed to pick me up from the airport. He had car trouble and couldn’t make it. Before I paid for a cab I called my girlfriend and asked if she wouldn’t mind picking me or if she wanted to get some more sleep because it was after 1:00 A.M. I would have been fine if she wanted to sleep but she said she would come and get me. It took her over 3 hours to come and get me because she spent 2 hours putting makeup on before she left. 2 hours of makeup to drive to the airport in the dark, pick me up, take me home and then go back home to bed. And when she got up later that morning for the day she spent another 2 hours doing it again even though she wasn’t working that day and she stayed home alone the whole day.
Back in October her sister went into labor prematurely. Thankfully both her sister and the baby are fine but at the time it was really bad and they came close to death. I was not sleeping at her place the night that it happened but her dad had called her at home that night and told her to get to the hospital because her sister was in distress and she and the baby might die. My girlfriend spent almost 2 hours putting on makeup before she rushed to the hospital. She was told her sister and her baby might die any minute and she still took the time to put on makeup before she went. She says she cut corners and took almost 2 hours instead of the full 2 t least she was in a hurry but she couldn’t leave without makeup on.
Since she takes 2 hours to put on makeup she has to get up much earlier in the morning. If not for the makeup she wouldn’t have to wake up until 7 A.M. on work days. She wakes up at 4:30-5:00 A.M. instead. She often complains about being tired and not getting enough sleep but instead of sleeping for 7-8 hours she will only sleep for 5.5-6 hours. She lies to her doctor about having insomnia and sometimes takes medication to help her sleep. On days when she doesn’t have to work she can easily sleep 8 hours or more. But she refuses to cut back on her makeup to get more sleep.
Before we were together she needed surgery for something mouth related. Her doctor wanted to do it in the hospital but she refused because she would have had to show up completely makeup free for the surgery so instead she opted for a dental specialist in his office because there was no makeup free rule for that. Because it wasn’t done in the hospital the dental specialist had to do it a different way and instead of a quick recovery it took her almost 2 weeks. We both had the flu recently and she still put makeup on even though she was sick in bed and throwing up.
Because she sleeps in full makeup her bedding is awful and I bought some pillowcases and blankets for her when she sleeps at my place so she doesn’t ruin mine. I also have my own when I sleep at her place because I will get makeup all over me if I use hers. I had to buy furniture covers because she got makeup all over my furniture. At the beginning of our relationship she ruined a couple of my shirts because when we cuddled or she put her head on my shoulder her makeup would be left behind. Now unless we are going to get sexual I don’t even kiss her, we just blow kisses and hold hands because if we kiss I get makeup left on me. She doesn’t wear collared shirts, turtlenecks or scarves because her makeup ruins them. After we are intimate I always have makeup all over me.
All of this is starting to weigh on my mind and give me doubts about the relationship. My girlfriend says she can stop wearing makeup at any time but that she just doesn’t want too. I challenged her to wash off all the makeup and not wear any for a day, even if she was home alone but she couldn’t even do it. My issue is not her wearing makeup or what she looks like, it is how it interferes with her and our lives. I was floored when I found out she took almost 2 hours to put on makeup on before going to see her sister who may have been dying. I do love her but I can’t imagine living like this forever.
My girlfriend sometimes tells me that people dismiss her and do not take her seriously and I think her wearing her full makeup and not toning it down when appropriate (serious work meetings, funerals etc.) could be why. She wears full makeup to the gym and then won’t work out because she doesn’t want to ruin it. When I bring it up she says that she chooses to wear makeup but could stop at any time and that it’s no one’s business what she wears or puts on her face. I don’t know what else I can do. Is there any hope or anything that I can say to get her to listen to my point of view? She says I don’t understand and can’t fault her for wanting to present her best self in any situation. Any advice for me would be really appreciated.
tl;dr: My girlfriend of almost a year spends at least 2 hours each morning putting on makeup (at least 25 different products). She does this even when she is going to be home alone all day without going out. She sleeps and showers in full makeup and doesn’t wash off all the old makeup every morning before she put the new makeup on. She has ruined bedding, clothes and furniture because her makeup gets on it. She complains about not sleeping enough but won’t stop getting up 2 hours early to do her makeup. She took 2 hours to put on makeup before going to see her possibly dying pregnant sister (who had gone into premature labor and was in distress) instead of rushing right there. This isn’t about her looks or trying to control her, but about how it is interfering with her life/our relationship. She says she can not wear makeup at any time but just doesn’t want to.
Plot twist: it's clown makeup
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Nov 28, 2016 01:42
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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If you're going to do corporal punishment with a kid, like, Jesus, it's an absolute last resort where you first take them aside and calmly and seriously explain how and why what they did that was so utterly terrible and never-to-be-repeated that the punishment needs to escalate to that level. If you're slapping a kid in the face in anger because words gently caress off you psychopath. Yikes.
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Dec 4, 2016 15:00
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Speaking of incels, let's see how they're getting on.
quote:I'm thinking of going to various subreddits and threatening to kill myself if a female doesn't volunteer to sleep with me.
I'll do this under an assumed SN, and will upload vids of myself crying and "self-harming".
(Don't worry, it will be fake blood, I wouldn't actually harm myself unless it meant taking out a bunch of normies with me.)
This will be part genuine attempt to get laid, and partly a social experiment to see just how malicious and lacking in empathy most women are.
Any tips or suggestions before I begin?
Oh, good.
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Dec 4, 2016 15:15
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Here's one about a college kid who stuck his dick in crazy and now he's confused about it. I feel like this is just a right of passage at some point. Though he should probably reconsider "perfect" here....
Pretty sure this perfect girl (22F) is playing me (20M) but she's being so dramatic about it
I do like how some people think 'not being a blubbering ball of unresolved mental health issues' is something that is totally insignificant when choosing a long term partner.
lazorexplosion fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Dec 6, 2016
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Dec 6, 2016 02:01
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 2, 2024 06:31
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- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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Like how frequently and specifically do you even talk about the temperature that you're having constant arguments over the goddamn units. 'It's going to be hot today', crisis loving averted.
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Dec 13, 2016 18:46
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the wacky lesbian sitcom owns.
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Sep 30, 2016 23:48
