/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

yeah I'm really sad now

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 23:30

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 20:31

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Jeep posted:

Speaking of super depressing r/relationships, is it possible to get a cache of posts on reddit?

There is a brutal post (https://m.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4nj9ni/i_34m_am_a_recovering_alcoholic_who_has_been/4nj9ni) where a dude throws up in his nephew's coffin and I feel like it hasn't ever been posted in one of these topics, but the original post was deleted.

You can try archivers like archive.org, google cache, and such. I've certainly failed before - apparently there was one where a guy asked his girl if he could buy some ferrets, she said firmly no, and he did it anyway. He bought them anyway, brought them home, she was pissed and posted on reddit. They told her to make him return them, and she said she couldn't do that, because they'd charge a 20% restocking fee, and that would be stealing. Sadly the thread is lost to time.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2016 23:44

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Lol I'll never understand people who find some sort of in-game achievement that is both super-boring and frustrating and has nothing to do with anything fun about the game, and then get super-frustrated trying to do it anyway because it's one of the things on the Big List of Things to Do. Just because rockstar hid pearls underwater in san andreas doesn't mean you gotta swim around looking for all 50.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 16:59

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Chomp8645 posted:

But my gamerscore.

achievement unlocked: notice that you don't have to collect all the +2 rings to have fun in dark souls 3

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 17:02

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

CharlestonJew posted:

For some people it's that lingering feeling that if you don't do absolutely every challenge the game throws at you then you haven't actually "beaten" it

I used to be one of those people

You haven't beaten it until you've distilled the fun parts from the not fun parts and minimized your engagement with the latter.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 17:47

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

La Brea Carpet posted:

Yeah....of all the bullshit people like to call on these stories, that one is the most "this happened and is more common than you think" that I've seen in a while. For something lighter:

Boo hoo, why won't these women clean up after themselves when I do it for them constantly.

Have you ever tried the approach you're implicitly suggesting here? If the people you live with don't care to clean, stopping cleaning doesn't prompt them to start, it just leads to a messy house that you're the only one stressed about.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:00

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm not suggesting she go on a race to the bottom. It's just interesting that it's been a problem for a year and despite her efforts it hasn't changed. Just throw in the towel after a few months and hire a cleaning service since she can afford it as she implies, or split it with the roomies.

Yeah that sounds like the actual solution.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 20:17

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

with great power comes great responsibility
- rabbi "uncle" benjamin

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 16:29

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

from the bureau of confusing titles:

My [30'sF] mother [60'sM] is offended and claims my partner [29F] children [4M&6F] need to be punished because our daughter said "two moms are better than one"

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 17:45

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Wow let's keep the racy stuff outta here!!!

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 18:03

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

indulge your partners' kinks in the bedroom, if not in the macy's next to the sunglass hut at the local mall

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 18:09

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Long as gently caress but uhh, some goon might wanna be nicer to their dad, he works hard:

quote:

A little backstory. My step-son who we will call Bill moved in with us into my house at the age of 16 because he did not want to live with his father anymore. The premise was that his deadbeat dad was an rear end in a top hat and I felt sympathetic and allowed him to move in at my wife's request when we bought our new house. He was made out to be a very good and well behaved kid by my wife. From the start, things were very rocky.

I'm convinced Bill suffers from kleptomania. After he moved in, things I owned started going missing. Not money but things like my pocket knife, flashlight, SD cards, external hard drives, earbuds, screwdrivers, ammunition etc. Anything "shiny" basically. I was going crazy wondering where all of my stuff was going, and it took a long time for me to realize maybe Bill was taking the things. I confronted him but he always denied taking anything. My wife didn't believe her son was the culprit either. At my wits end, I started searching his room and found all of my things that were missing. I confronted him about this, as well as his mother confronted him, he still denied it and "didn't know" how it got in his room, of course. This problem went on for a few years, with my items disappearing every few weeks and finding them in his room, but finally after enough fighting the problem seems to have mostly ended. He no longer seems to be stealing items and hiding them, but he still does have property ownership issues. He still takes ownership of things that aren't his by asking if he can "use" something, and if I agree he can "use" it he then takes possession of it and does not return it. Confronted about it, he will say "you gave it to me" and calls me an "indian giver" if I try to take it back. An example is a speaker system for a TV that I bought for several hundred dollars. I let him use it for a few days with a new television he got, but now he uses it 24/7 and leaves the bass cranked up all night, and refuses to give it back or buy his own speakers.

Now the next problem with Bill is that he's very loud. Very. Not only does he talk loud, have the most obnoxious laugh/giggle that he does constantly (think Peter Griffin), swears and shouts obscenities with his friends on xbox, but he also does it throughout the entire night. He literally comes alive at about 12am and stays awake making the most obnoxious racket until about 6am. I'm the type of sleeper that needs quiet in order to sleep. If things aren't quiet, I can't sleep, at all. My wife is the opposite, noises don't bother her, in fact she needs television on at night to sleep (television keeps me awake at night.) She thinks it's totally normal to need sound to sleep and thinks I'm crazy for being irritated, upset, and distressed over her son sounding like a party every night. Now, originally, it wasn't a huge issue because the bedroom we designated for Bill was far away from ours. However one day when we were out, Bill took it upon himself to move all of his belongings to the bedroom right next to ours, because it was bigger and he couldn't fit all of his game systems and 3 televisions into the smaller bedroom. We were upset he did this in my house without asking, but the mother agreed with him the other bedroom was too small for a then 18 year old boy and I gave in and allowed him to keep the bigger bedroom next to ours. But since then, for the last 3 years, it's been a living nightmare for me. The wall between our bedrooms is paper thin. It's bad enough when he's being super loud and obnoxious on the xbox or PS4 with his friends, or when he has his sound system or televisions which are up against the wall cranked way up with base that rattles our wall, but even when he's "behaving" after yelling at him, I can still hear him talking because he just has a naturally loud voice with a deep tone that (if you know anything about how soundwaves work) just penetrate the wall. So he keeps me up at night by his talking even when he's rarely quiet and not being obnoxious.

Needless to say, I get no sleep at night. For the past 3+ years I've had to time my sleep schedule to be awake during the night when Bill is awake making a racket, and sleep during the day. Now, my wife and I own our own business, where we do the bulk of our work during the day. Because of this, my end of the business has suffered immensely and it has caused a great rift in our marriage. My wife feels that I'm lazy because I sleep all day. She refuses to accept that her son is the problem why I can't sleep and get a restful sleep and why I sleep all day. She says it's no excuse, and the loudness is not a problem for her, etc. She embarresses me by telling everyone we know that all I do is sleep all day. The truth is I wouldn't if Bill wasn't keeping me awake all night, every night, for 3+ years now and if my sleep schedule wasn't so screwed up.

We yell at him when he's being loud and tell him to shut it. He does... for about 20 minutes. Then he's right back at it. We threaten him with punishments which make us feel horrible having to punish a 21 year old, but he complains and says we can't do that, or tries to come up with BS laws and reasons we can't punish him. We turn his internet off, and he would say that because the United Nations passed a resolution saying internet is a human right, that we can't do that and he will call the police on us, etc. It's just ridiculous and then if we do punish him he gets on facebook and complains and makes us look like assholes.

Now, Bill is a very lazy kid, he gets it from his father who has no job most of the time. He has no chores around the house that he will actually do besides taking out the trash every Sunday. But even that, we have to beg and plead him to do every week. His excuse is always "I forgot." I don't understand how one can forget a single task that he has been doing for 5 years now. But whatever. Bill was diagnosed with ADHD and his mother thinks it's a valid excuse for his behavior. Originally Bill was on medication for ADHD but cannot take it anymore due to it making him sick.

Bill recently got a part time job, which we thought was a modern miracle. The problem is, it's a... part time job. Right down the road. He's comfortable in this job he has. He walks to it. It's literally the worst hours (for us) because he goes to work at 3pm, works until 9pm, stays awake until 6 am making a loud racket, and then sleeps from 6am until 1pm when he has to get up and go to work. The job has been more of a curse than a blessing. We were hoping him getting a job would put him in a good direction in life, but it has only made things worse. He spends all of his money on stupid things, doesn't save any. He pretty much exclusively buys video games with his money, or more televisions and game systems, basically anything that produces noise or allows him to be up all night with something obnoxious to do. He has his own bank account and he's an adult so we cannot withold his pay and put it into a savings account for him.

He has no desire to get a vehicle, a driver's license, and to ever find a full time job to keep him busy and off of the xbox every night making a racket and keeping us awake. He has no desire to go to college or do anything with his life besides his part time job to pay the rent we charge him. He does not have any interest in getting married or moving out. He literally wants to keep living at home with us until he's 40 years old. So the nightmare for me I think will never end. We've tried punishing him when he's loud by turning off his internet, etc. It works for a day. He never learns. The punishments never have any lasting effects. And at this point we are wondering if it's even ethical to "punish" a 21 year old.

Why not throw him out or make him move out, you might ask? Well, his doting grandparents will not allow it. Bill has no car, no drivers license, and cannot afford rent anywhere else off of his part time job income. His grandparents have stated that throwing him out would be cruel and have hinted I would suffer repercussions if I threw out their baby boy. They are very politically connected and provide aid to my wife so they could definitely ruin things for us. So basically I am forced to allow him to live in my house with us. I think because of his ADHD, he cannot be reasoned with at all. We've tried having talks with him, he just tunes us out. Anything we say to him goes in one ear and out the other. I think the only thing that would honestly work would be to get physical with him but of course being an adult himself now a spanking would be assault (not to metion that would be weird). We now make him pay $200/month in rent which is about 3/5 of his monthly income from his part time job. We have talked about raising his rent but again to try to encourage him to move out but his grandparents complain about it and plant it in his head that $200/month rent is already and insanely high amount and tell him not to pay us anything more. His grandparents are in their 70's and have no clue that most places around here charge at least $700/month for rent now, they think that just because rent was $100/month back in the 1960's that things are still that price.

He's also a financial burden on us. I personally don't agree I should be paying for a 21 year olds food, clothing, toiletries, and habits but my wife and his grandparents disagree. He sits at home all night like a sloth playing video games when he's not working his part time job and I'm expected to always buy dinner for him and pamper him. Well it's more of an issue not that I'm doing it, but my wife is. My wife and I both own a business so my money is hers and hers is mine, so she feels it's her motherly duty to provide to him even though he's been an adult for 3 years now. I feel that since he has a job and is an adult he should be buying his own food, clothing and toiletries, but I'm the minority apparently. I've tried telling Bill this, but he says that he pays rent so the rent he pays should be paying for his items any way. That's not how I feel about it. I feel his rent should be paying for the water bill, the electric bill, and everything else he consumes way too much of. Our electric bill is $400 every month and I know most of it is because of him and his 11 game systems and 3 televisions he has running 24/7. But he doens't understand that eletricitiy isn't free and his 1-hour long showers every day aren't free either.

Food has been a major issue since he moved in, as well. We buy groceries, and he eats them all. That's what he does, is constantly eat while he plays video games. Which is funny because he's very thin and not fat. We can buy a gallon of milk and it's gone the next day along with 3 boxes of cereal. I buy food for myself at the grocery store that I specifically look forward to eating, and it's gone before I can even get to it. He doesn't consider that other people in the house need to eat. He only cares about himself. One time when he first moved I had boxed salmon I got from Oregon as a souvenir that was $50. I had it in the cupboard and even specifically told him not to eat it and that I was going to eat it myself on a special occasion. What do you know, I'm gone one day out working and I come home and it's gone and the box is in the trash. I confront him about it and he says "oops I forgot." It just makes me feel horrible that I cannot have anything that I specifically look forward to.

It's not that I can't share, and I don't want you to think I'm a stingy person. But Bill uses everything in excess, as long as it's not something he paid for. A bottle of shampoo which should last a family a month can be gone in a few days. It's ridiculous. Becaues of this we started eating out every night which has been incredibly expensive. But then Bill's grandparents complain that we aren't providing Bill food to eat and that it's child neglect (come on really? HE'S 21 and has a job!) and threaten us and call us assholes. So now whenever we go out to eat my wife insists on buying Bill food from the restaurant and bringing it home to him, which is sometimes even more expensive than all of the groceries he consumes. It just really puts a knot in my gut to have to hand deliever food to this lazy kid by walking into the house and into his room where he's sitting on his butt playing video games and having a good time, in the process asking him if he put the trash out to the curb and his response is "I'll do it later". I feel like his servant.

What should I do? At this point I feel my only option to get sleep again and regain my sanity is to get a divorce and sell my house, which would force him to move out.

The real kicker is besides all of these issues, Bill is a good kid. He doesn't do drugs or drink (don't even say "not that you know of" no really he doesn't). He isn't a criminal besides stealing things from me, and loves animals. When he's not making a racket or being a nuisance he's a pleasure to be around and fun. He has a lot of friends who all adore him.

TL:DR Step son is obnoxiously loud, will never stop, cannot be reasoned with, punishment doesn't work, he only cares about himself, I'm getting no sleep and going insane, I don't feel my belongings are safe, cannot kick him out, feel like selling my house and getting a divorce.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2016 19:40

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I [35 M] feel like I've been taken advantage of by my long distance "friend" [23 F] of 6 years whom I've been crushing on

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 00:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Play posted:

lol if you think the people abusing their property weren't republicans, as well as the local police and probably everyone else in that town you are sadly very wrong

I know you're just responding but... let's not worry about it.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 05:53

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

My [13M] dad girlfriend [20F] threw a tantrum because he gave me $50. Now I need to share it with her

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 18:17

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I (26m) took a girl (22f) out on a date, is it a deal breaker that she had a machete in her car?

quote:

I met a girl onTinder, and she was gorgeous. She said upfront that she wasn't looking for a hook-up. I decided to ask her out to dinner, since she was so attractive, and she agreed. Low and behold, my car broke down on the way to pick her up. She ended up offering to pick me up as I was only a few minutes away from her house. On the way back to the car from the restaurant, I opened the drivers side door for her to get in, and noticed a machete with the cover on. It was sitting in the driver side door.

The date was great, she was great conversation and very interesting. But, I'm wondering if the machete is a deal breaker. I feel like only an extremely bat poo poo crazy girl would have a machete in her car. She was also Russian, and though I haven't met any other Russian women, the Russian men I've met have all been bat poo poo crazy (no offense to any Russians on here). I don't know, should this be a deal breaker, or am I making too big of a deal out of this?

tl;dr: Went on great first date with a beautiful woman, but she had a machete in her car, is this a deal breaker?

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 18:18

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Imagine spending 45 minutes trying to wring a high five out of your girlfriend and when she concedes, a pale shadow of her former self, quickly move your hand away and say "too slow".

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 18:51

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

It turned into an argument of her critiquing me on our dogs, then how I pronounced bagel, and then it turned into a huge nasty fight. We haven't spoken in two days.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 20:26

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I hope pete and the machete woman[22FRussian] live a long happy life together.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2016 21:33

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Jeffnote: every once in awhile I'm tempted to edit one of these to make it funnier and post it somewhere else as fiction, this one sounds like a curb episode

My [25M] boss was murdered, now I'm wondering how long to wait before asking for a raise.

quote:

Sorry if this is a bit all over the place, things are a bit crazy.

I work for a fairly new company that I joined almost at the very beginning, it is a small company that is headed by two guys Joe and Jeff who have been friends for over 20 years. We are spread out across different sites so I never worked directly with any of them but I corresponded with them and saw them every now and then.

Now to the tragic part, on the weekend Joe was murdered. I don't want to get into the details but it left everyone devastated and confused. He was very well liked and very good at his job.

Jeff took it very hard, he actually found out when a local newspaper called him for comment. He had also just spoken to Joe the morning it happened. Joe is committed to the company though and is making sure we are all taken care of.

Here is the part where I may seem insensitive. When I found out I was literally in the middle of writing Joe and Jeff an email asking to meet for a wage review. I had spoken unofficially with Joe on Friday where he told me I had good reviews from the client and I felt like he was encouraging me to ask. What I want to know is, how long should I wait before actually sending Jeff this email? I obviously want to let everything settle down but also my life still goes on and I have bills to pay.

tl;dr: my boss was murdered, was supposed to have a meeting about a raise, how long to wait to bring it up again?

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 16:04

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

In my version the OP inadvertently caused the murder.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 16:16

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I think she's okay on the food thing if his siblings are fine, but not paying for his school after her inlaws paid for hers seems pretty cruel. "We want to frontload your suffering by making stress about money *and* school right now" seems more like a weird rationalization of being able but unwilling to pay for school than a valid parenting strategy.

Obviously the weights thing is completely batshit but I'm gonna slyly ignore that part.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 17:12

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

nomad2020 posted:

Did you miss the part about me having and raising three children?

Clearly son just needs to knock someone up and they'd gladly pay.

Yeah if the son really wants to own them, a call to grandma on the matter might shake things up.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 17:21

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

loquacius posted:

Yeah she did, comments are still up though

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/58hcm1/my_40_f_son_20_m_refuses_to_speak_to_me_or_his/?st=iuilqxpc&sh=917a6896

Figure it's ok to link ITT now that comments are locked, Jeff let me know if it's not

It's fine, I was kinda tempted to link it/copy the posts myself but the funny parts were already posted. It's mostly just sad. The college thing is worse than the food thing, to me. She's delusional and simply refuses to give her kid the opportunity she had and benefitted from, I'll never understand that.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 18:17

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

She obviously wanted him to say stuff like "officer down!".

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 06:55

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

he feels inadequate unless she runs away screaming godzilla after he whips it out

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 16:14

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

loquacius posted:

It's really weird how often the people in these stories remind me of Arrested Development characters

OP: Man you should really let your kid grow up and not treat him like a toddler.
Aunt: We know what we're doing, we raised him!!!
Aunt, privately: ...hurt to say no to that one

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 17:58

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

How can I get my husband to consider a sensible career, like restaurant ownership or self-publishing?

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 21:14

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Please don't fight in this thread, just talk about strange folks from reddit. "no one cares" does not contribute anything.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2016 01:04

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I met a guy who was extremely affectionate with his sister. We were at a pool and she would sit in his lap(in a bikini) and I saw him slap her rear end. It was pretty strange but his wife was also there and seemed okay with it. :shrug:

He is also a muslim trump supporter so weird guy in general.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2016 23:07

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

McGavin posted:

I would hate to be coherently dismantled by that guy.

I'm laughing at the tone of self-seriousness already, is the text worth going through all of? He comes off a little ignatius reilly.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 16:01

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Who would do this???

My [28F] husband's [30M] parents [60sM, 50sF] renovated our kitchen while we were away and I hate it.

You don't need to read the whole thing but here's a key quote:

quote:

In fact, the wall they removed was load-bearing.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 18:03

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Yup. If there was an "most awkward ways I hosed up with the opposite gender in high school" thread, 99% of the stories would be much worse than Pvt.Scott's painfully ordinary post. Teenage boys are the epitome of low self-esteem awkwardness. I know this because I've been there too.

That girl just innocently wanted me to feel the material her shirt was made of. :sweatdrop:

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 18:35

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I was talking to this chinese girl and I mentioned how I saved money on something and she exclaimed "you so jew!!!" loudly in the middle of the office. If my first instinct was to laugh at her funny accent rather than get offended, who is the real racist????

Together we can solve the problem of workplace racism, one bull at a time.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Nov 11, 2016

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 20:32

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I know I participated here but like, can we call it at that? There are many threads for discussing racism and, other than the racist grandpa just mentioned, I think we should minimize that here.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 00:26

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Throwing the ballot away is kinda okay to me but it's rude to do it in a place that she could find it. I vote every election but and I'd like to be able to keep saying that, but it's not like I can verify it. Believing I've voted represents like, 99.9% of the value of the whole experience, to me.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Oct 25, 2016

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 17:19

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I was totally ready to laugh at the OP for this one but she really turned it around for me:

My (31f) husband (30m) of 4 years (together 7) says he's sick of my dislike of violent media.

quote:

Growing up, I didn't watch a lot of TV. I always had something else or something more important or more interesting to do. I'd watch maybe an hour or two every week, usually with my family. We'd watch shows like Ally McBeal or sometimes The Simpsons.

I also didn't really watch a lot of cartoons or movies. We were more of a reading family, and we had a lot of other activities to do at the same time. There was a rule that we couldn't ever just sit in front of the TV, we had to be also doing something. Whether it was knitting or drawing, my parents never allowed us to sit around and just stare at the TV because it was a waste of time. I'm far removed from their home, but it's still true for me.

The thing is, I just don't enjoy violent, shoot 'em up kill 'em all media. I was never "desensitized" to violence the way a lot of other people were growing up. I don't find watching very violent shows to be entertaining or interesting. I find it sad and honestly it bothers me.

My husband is different. He grew up doing anything he wants and watching TV all the time. Sometimes he'll watch it all day. I have no issue with this at all, if he wants to watch TV all day it's his choice, you know?

The problem is that he gets really frustrated with me these days because I'm just not into the TV shows he's into. A few years ago he wanted us to watch Game of Thrones. I got as far as the little girl being violently raped on screen by her big hulking husband and I had to throw up. I can't stomach things like that. I passed on watching the rest of the show with him, and he's always grumpy about it. The same with The Walking Dead. The same with Breaking Bad. And all of those campy Marvel movies and that Jessica Jones show. He thought I might like it because I liked Veronica Mars, but I wanted to throw up in the first episode alone. He thought I might like Mr. Robot and we watched several episodes until the drug dealer chopped up his manic pixie dream girl and stashed her in the trunk and I just couldn't stomach how that woman did nothing to deserve it, it was just to further the autistic main character's story. I couldn't watch after that.

I still don't watch a lot of TV. Occasionally I'll watch an episode of Bob's Burgers or one of the shows on ABC Family/Freeform. I always ask him to watch with me but he sneers and talks about how they're all "boring baby shows for little teenage girls."

He gets mad that I bring my knitting with me to watch TV, because I should be "focused on the TV" but I don't even have to look at my knitting half of the time. Or I might have to look down for about 3 seconds. I don't get why he's bothered by that part, honestly. I've never had to ask him what happened or explain anything to me. I'm just not someone who can sit around and watch TV and I thought he knew that by now.

I don't know if there's a compromise here. I'm not about to start watching media that makes me nauseous or feels wrong to watch. I just don't find violence and murder and rape to be entertaining, they're depressing and haunting to me.

But the other night he practically threw a fit because I would not watch The Walking Dead with him. He got very upset because his friends were all watching at their homes and their wives don't act like they're "too good for TV."

I don't know if this is just going to be one of those little things we deal with through our life together, but I also don't know if there's some kind of compromise to be made.

tl;dr: My husband seems to be really upset lately that I just do not enjoy violent media. I don't like watching murder and shooty shooty beat them up scenes or shows that are just non-stop violence. Is there a compromise?

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 19:31

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Like, feeling ill from violent media is kinda understandable if quaint. Being obsessed with tv and getting mad that your wife won't "focus on the tv" that you watch all day because she wants to do something marginally less mindless than consume the mental equivalent of comfort food for 6 hour stretches is absurd.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 19:32

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Guy squandering his brief time on earth glazing his eyes over with 6 hours of walking dead while secretly wishing he were one of the zombies because the pain of mindfully engaging with the universe is too great: my friends are all watching at their homes and their wives don't act like they're "too good for TV."

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 19:35

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 20:31

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

WampaLord posted:

The guy is definitely hosed with the amount of media he consumes, but her attitude is kinda weird as well. It's like she can't separate fiction from reality and must react as though the things happening on the TV are real. Who has to throw up because they saw something on TV?

Yeah I dunno, I've been separating violent media from reality since I was very young. It's hard for me to imagine myself in the head of someone who hasn't learned to do that.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2016 19:46

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