/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?

I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.

I'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).

Anyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby. I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on. All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.

Within about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books.

Anyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an rear end in a top hat because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies. My argument is that I'm not the rear end in a top hat because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.

This rules and they should have everyone type into a box what they think the reason is and chart the office gossip-graph.

*googles thread, asks about actual reason*

# ¿ Aug 28, 2019 00:27

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 06:09

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

HIJK posted:

�am i the rear end in a top hat for tantruming in a coffee shop so hard that the stupid woman cries?�

Like drat, if the money is that important to you just get the receipts and come back the next day to straighten it out with the manager. But nope gotta sit there and trash talk like a piece of poo poo high schooler and then pretend to be remorseful later.

He didn't have to have a big argument about it but he could also have just not paid the extra money. I'd be annoyed if I had to go get my own change to pay 5.60 exactly but it wouldn't be the end of the world, better than arguing with a cashier over it.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2019 00:40

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Oh man I'm late on this but please stop on the issue of office dress codes, ty. I honestly don't ever want to see the same person arguing about the same thing at the top of two pages in a row, say your point concisely and be done with it or don't say it at all.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2019 23:34

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

the bright eyes post is good because the cadence is pretty close to the actual song so I can sing it in my head

# ¿ Aug 29, 2019 00:40

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Araenna posted:

She mocks him repeatedly and openly. She throws his poo poo around when mad at him. She threw a chair during a fight, and it scared him enough he left and sat in his car for hours. He's probably less "insecure" and more "being emotionally abused".

Yeah I laughed at the lyrics she said but that behavior sounds like abuse to me - something tells me that isn't the first time she's sought to belittle him, nevermind the furniture throwing.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2019 01:55

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Is that the only bathroom in the apartment? I'm so lost, is it his private one and the two floors away public one, or is there also another one in their apartment that was in use? If it's the only one in the apartment then I'd walk through his bedroom with impunity, if not....???

# ¿ Sep 1, 2019 10:10

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Like who would move in to an apartment where the only bathroom is through someone's locked bedroom door? I'm so lost.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2019 10:12

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

MarcusSA posted:

There are two bathrooms. The other public one was either occupied or she decided not to go use it.

NTA because there was another bathroom.

I got those two, but is there no other bathroom in their apartment, besides the one through his bedroom? That strikes me as really odd. Why wouldn't the apartment have a bathroom for it's residents, instead of just one of them? I personally wouldn't have any qualms about walking right on through my roommates bedroom to use it if it were the only bathroom, and I'd credit card the lock if I had to, but I guess I'd also never move in to such an apartment.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2019 10:21

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I wish that it were a movie so the husband could set up an elaborate ruse to pretend she's pregnant while could the paperwork to adopt two kids and then drug her while she, uhh, gives birth. Instead..... :ohdear:

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 13:48

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

That friends one is bizarre. It's like a movie where the op is dead, she is "the ex girlfriend in the group", and she's haunting the boyfriend who talks to her still. That's why they don't talk to her, get upset seeing her wedding photos, don't invite her directly, etc. He moved away to get away from the trauma of losing his loved one.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2019 19:52

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Yeah if I had to choose between being slapped, and having my presumed lifelong partner abandon me for someone else, well, it isn't really that hard of a choice, even if I'd prefer "neither". I think it's reading too much to draw any conclusions about a pattern of physical violence based on his words but obviously that would change it.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2019 15:39

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

TheScott2K posted:

Violence is a potent, versatile tool to effect political change and absolutely not something you should be using offensively in domestic relations.

It also shouldn't be used on cops, in GTA online. Let's talk about that, instead!

# ¿ Sep 4, 2019 21:22

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Ugly In The Morning posted:

I think the thread lives on in the comedy gold mine but the images all died with waffleimages.

PSA: there is a working waffleimages mirror and you can get a greasemonkey script to fix the archives to point to it, it's linked at the bottom of the page here:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=1844

It's certainly not official or anything, but it's pretty cool. It'd be even cooler if I could use my admin powers to fix the archives for real by hosting the images here and changing how the urls are rendered, but one thing at a time.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2019 02:46

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Other humans live around you and make noise as part of their lives. It's not a big deal and it's not up to you. Noise complainers are the worst.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2019 17:17

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

The cumwinds have been bad this year.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2019 11:59

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 06:09

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Has someone suggested actually talking to her and asking her wtf? It's not that hard to actually confront the person, you know where they live and, according to the landlord, the OP ought to be physically able to beat them up if necessary.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2019 22:54

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