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Scooter needs to get laid by puppy sex noise girl. A sentence I never saw myself typing out, but here we are.
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Apr 5, 2017 13:13
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Doctor Malaver posted:What's the difference between being 300 lbs + and "technically 300 lbs +"? Tall muscular guy vs round dude, I'm guessing.
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Apr 6, 2017 11:05
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Dead mom goon, declare bankruptcy, and then never, ever get yourself in that situation again.
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Apr 7, 2017 12:39
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:You are a total goober. Yeah, this is a huge red flag. Memo to single goons reading this: do not allow this to happen just because someone tells you they like you and has sex with you. It's not a good time, I don't care how awesome the sex or head or whatever is.
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Apr 7, 2017 15:15
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food court bailiff posted:Holy poo poo dude, since you're posting from 1975 when student loans were still dischargeable through bankruptcy have I ever got a hot stock tip for you: it's this little company that's going to start in just over ten years called Microsoft, buy in big and early. Welp, I feel bad for all non-Canadians who obviously don't have the opportunity to include student loan debt in their bankruptcy if they've been out of school for 7 years (and sometimes 5). Uncle Sam sucks, but friend-of-the-family Johnny Canuck, once again, proves superior. Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Apr 7, 2017 |
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Apr 7, 2017 15:18
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Stepmom would rather see other goon self-fellate.
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Apr 8, 2017 19:28
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loquacius posted:
I work on the team that prepares videos like these for tv, and every single person who appears on screen, at least involved in a sexual act, has both applied and been chosen, with the proper steps taken to ensure that they are both of age and consenting. The amount they are paid is also documented. A lot of the time, this is all captured on footage, which I help edit out from the final cut if it's not already done by the editing team, or I need to work with the raw footage for a re-edit. Don't know why you put your ponderings behind an anonymous confession but there you go. I literally work for Reality Kings / Brazzers / Digital Playground / etc (the Brazzers network).
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Apr 10, 2017 14:26
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VanSandman posted:Wait, Reality Kings is owned by Brazzers? I thought they were competing companies. Bought last year or 2015 Edit: I should really do an A/T, but wouldn't want to get in trouble with work. 
Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Apr 10, 2017 |
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Apr 10, 2017 14:46
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bradzilla posted:have you ever heard of this thing called "advertising" You got it. For the paid stuff, it's higher quality, and you'd be surprised how many horny people out there either don't know a better way to get that, OR thry just prefer the convenience and constant content coming (heh) from our network. Also, we have affordable plans that get you access to literally all if our sites. I have to say, even though I have a free login, it's such a higher quality than user uploaded stuff. It's like gourmet porn, where Pornhub (also owned by us  ) is McDonalds. Also, cable companies the world over come to us for thousands of videos each year to either air late at night or be available on ppv/on-demand for subscribers. For the free stuff, we also own Traffic Junky, which has virtually no overhead. My wife actually works on that team, loves it. Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Apr 10, 2017 |
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Apr 10, 2017 15:01
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Nissin Cup Nudist posted:I thought you worked for Pornhub. Or are Pornhub and Brazzers under the same management now? I used to work in the 'tubes' dept (tagging and doing content checks for PH and other free sites on the ph network), moved up to where I am now. Much, much better. limp_cheese posted:My non-anonymous confession is I actually have an account with Brazzers. I've been a member there off and on for years and am only a member now because I was really drunk after the Super Bowl and saw they were offering a year membership for $75. It was one of those "this is such a good deal I can't afford not to buy it." I mainly do it because the quality is high and I'm one of those weird people that believes I should pay for the things I enjoy, otherwise they won't be made anymore. Its the same way with movies, music, TV, or basically any other form of entertainment. Thank you for your patronage!  My personal favourite site we own has to be babes.com  obviously. Except for me 
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Apr 11, 2017 01:12
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Gridlocked posted:Is that like finding free website where your content has been uploaded and bringing it down for infringement? We already own the vast majority of paid content, so it showing up on our free sites is eventually taken care of. In terms of the content from other studios, we comply with the DMCA, but I can't get into the details of that, since I don't fully know them. But I was specifically referring to removing a video that involved terrible things, like some dude chopping off his own dick. Can't unsee!
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Apr 11, 2017 10:55
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Gridlocked posted:Oh. And I'm sure that wasn't the worst of it considering how deep the rabbit hole surely goes. I believe it was offered, but at the same time, in 4 days, it'll be ten years since I've joined SA, so I've gotten used to a lot. There was only one image that made me have to take a walk for a bit.
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Apr 11, 2017 12:13
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VanSandman posted:What was it? Consider making a thread in Ask/Tell. It involved kids. No.
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Apr 11, 2017 13:02
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sout posted:Oh god. Not really. If there's no copyright violation, we don't care. Granted, it's not likely that some lovely Minecraft video will make it to the front page any time. It just stays in the community area. Edit: Front page is what most video uploaders care about. Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 13:21 on Apr 11, 2017 |
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Apr 11, 2017 13:18
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Gridlocked posted:I'm so sorry buddy. I hope your mental anguish was dealt with and you were able to find the guy who uploaded it. Thanks  I've told this to other goons when they've brought it up, but security reasons, I can't get into our policy and procedures for that kind of thing. Just know that it's taken care of. Man, I really maybe should do that Ask/Tell...
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Apr 11, 2017 14:04
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bradzilla posted:"I'm a garbageperson and total failure, I hope the world ends because of this. Also I'll be one of the strong survivors and surely won't off myself the second this actually happens I think about this any time some poo poo head starts going on about anarchy. Yeah, like you'd do well in that scenario, man.
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Apr 20, 2017 13:11
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Hard no. posted:Dear goon admirer, I think that I should thank you for being brave in articulating in what you think you feel, but that it is completely unwarranted, that I promise there is absolutely nothing special about me, that there are millions of women who wear leather coats and play with grease. I think maybe you might've just passed up an opportunity to have a free printer delivered to your house. Wait... That story ends badly. Anon goon, don't hurt yourself
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Apr 21, 2017 09:05
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It is nice that you think I am pretty, everyone likes to hear that. We all tell each other that openly in the pyf thread, because it is true, goons are beautiful creatures.
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value-brand cereal posted:rape confession wad The worst Doom wad.
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Apr 21, 2017 20:37
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My wife and I moved to her home city about 4 years ago, from my hometown, and most of the people we've met are through her. My main two friends are back home. And by main two friends, I mean the two guys I can call up almost literally whenever, ask anything of, and they're totally down for it. Everyone else is a varying level of acquaintance, really. And I'm actually fine with that. Well, I was more fine with it when I wasn't 9 hours away from them. Whatever, I'm 34, have two kids, I no longer expect to find another group of guys (or girls) who share my general mixture of interests. If I do, great, bit even then, those new people won't be my friends back home with 10-20 years of friendship behind us.
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Apr 22, 2017 15:45
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loquacius posted:"Get a vasectomy" is actually really onpoint advice for failson goon, come to think of it That or get some polyurethane condoms and get over disliking them.
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Apr 22, 2017 19:39
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Panfilo posted:How does such a failure of a human being find women willing to get close enough to him to get impregnated in the first place? No one said what caliber of woman he was finding. If the dude has enough Faygo and makeup, jugglettes are an option.
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Apr 22, 2017 21:29
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I'm seeing a new thread title here. It's the spiritual sequel to "Get real beefy, bitch."
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Apr 25, 2017 19:49
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Yeah, so being a virgin at 23 isn't that bad, fyi. Have you ever done ANYTHING sexual with a girl? Also, while there are some terrible, terrible vaginas out there, there are just as many wonderful ones. Same could be said for people, really. I hope your first is with a wonderful vagina and woman. Oh, and cool it with the hentai. Definitely go through the amateur section of Pornhub to see how real, everyday, non-pornstar/non-cartoons have sex since this is your demographic.
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Apr 26, 2017 12:58
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loquacius posted:Mementos goon When you see your gf next, dump them all into a big bowl of Diet Coke, and watch the fun!
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Apr 28, 2017 18:31
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loquacius posted:Learn to play craps, go to a casino in Vegas, and spend enough time getting free drinks at a craps table to lose $200, and tell me it's not an experience you can share with others I need to learn how to play craps. I have no excuse, I even worked for a goddamned slot machine company (don't play slots, you'll never win, fyi).
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May 1, 2017 22:31
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Happy Valley: Season 2. This is how this all might go down
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May 4, 2017 16:23
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PostNouveau posted:Restaurants are tough businesses. Burn it down for the insurance money and open a laundromat or something. Lazer-tag.
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Jun 11, 2017 06:30
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To add to the caffeine chat, last year I sort of toyed with the idea of making my own cola, or own soda, but I definitely wanted to include caffeine. I knew nothing about how that works, so I looked it up. Holy poo poo. Did you know that caffeine is the deadliest-yet-legal substance that anyone can just go right ahead and buy online? I mean, when it's in your drink and measured by the milligram, you can tell it's serious stuff, but accidentally ingesting or swallowing even a fraction of a teaspoon would either kill you or really gently caress you up. I have small kids at home, so that pretty much killed any plans for having any of the stuff hanging around, even if it was out of harm's reach. In short, caffeine is serious poo poo 
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Jun 14, 2017 17:24
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fruit on the bottom posted:This is how Amy Schumer was created There is nothing wrong with Amy Schumer 
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Jun 20, 2017 19:12
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Did Trump play football? Edit: vvv ah, missed that. Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Jun 21, 2017 |
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Jun 21, 2017 12:51
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More like "Wonder-why-anyone-likes-this Woman", eh? No, for real, she's incredible. You're an idiot.
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Jun 22, 2017 07:45
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loquacius posted:I was too tired for a proper take last night, but it is really weird how guys on the Internet always feel the need to insist to no one in particular that such-and-such internationally-known supermodel actually isn't that attractive PUAs gotta neg to get that, don't you know? Tsk tsk
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Jun 22, 2017 13:20
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Tailored Sauce posted:I remember a GBS when goons would proudly post their pants-making GBS threads stories, now we've just resorted to posting anonymously. Hakan? Hakan was awesome.
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Jun 24, 2017 19:22
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Anne Whateley posted:Where do you live that people aren't jerking off about the instant pot? I was literally about to mention our Instant Pot.
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Jun 29, 2017 20:17
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:You guys who got beat up in High School are stupid. There's an easy solution. I'm sure everyone appreciates this advice 10+ years after it's relevant to them.
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Jun 30, 2017 07:43
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Noblesse Obliged posted:Clearly the only solution to money woe goon is to organize a music festival And why would he purposely invite the rock element into his community? I'm sure they have many entertaining troupes. Ice capades, Tiny Toons... But a rock concert? Does he have an occupancy permit?
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Jun 30, 2017 17:25
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ANGRYGREEK posted:
I've thought about this; I write music for clients on the side of my regular job, and if I won a poo poo ton of money, I'd continue to do that, though from a custom built, fancy home studio. While that might be taking attention or business away from up and coming artists, I don't think the market is that saturated. And if I ever felt like I WAS taking away from someone and felt bad about it, I'd just write music for myself, release it on iTunes, blah blah, blah for the rest of my working life.
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Jul 3, 2017 15:57
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I remember this joke from Will and Grace (yeah  ) where Megan Mullaly's character has to hang out with some 13 year old kid. He keeps saying stuff like "I just wanna play Xbox" or asking her if she has one. At the end of the episode, she becomes friends with the kid (or at least fond of him) and she says he finally got to play with her xbox. Someone gets the kid an xbox, and sge sees it in the packaging and says "oh, that's called an Xbox, too?" As a horny teenager who found (and still finds) that woman intensely attractive, I liked that joke, but yeah, I can't say it wasn't joking about pedophilia and possibly rape. 
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Jul 6, 2017 18:13
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Is there ANYTHING out there to back this tj miller thing up, aside from coincidence?
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Jul 7, 2017 19:28
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My memory is terrible enough that if there's anything even remotely important, like a subway order that I should have memorized, I get my wife to send me a message over fb messenger, just so I have it.
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Jul 8, 2017 00:06
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