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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

the future is WOW posted:

Just post a picture of Lena Dunham, it's the Jastiger signal.

Awaiting my tribute.

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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Captain Yossarian posted:

Hi Jastiger I was wondering how you faired in the spooky gbs disappearance I'm glad to see you

It was a tough storm to weather, but we're all here brother.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Deffo sounss like Withcer work. Be sure youre ready to pay and itll get taken care of

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Probably one of those things where if she makes it out, great, if she doesnt, great.


Crazy story though.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Captain Yossarian posted:

Jastiger two thoughts: 1)where have you been and 2) whats the story with those cops getting shot in Des Moines?

I've been around, man. Mostly in Games lately.

The guy was a South lover who liked waving the confederate flag at black people. The loving South ruins everything and is trying to hurt my town and I'm mad about it.

Hopefully the guy they got is the right guy and he is brought to trial. Its a sad day here today :(

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Captain Yossarian posted:

Ahh sad... Yeah my friend down there works near where one of them got shot so she was freaking out big time

Oh yeah? WHere does she work?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Captain Yossarian posted:

I won't post it in public chat here but if I remember to buy PMs I'll tell you lol:bigtran:

No worries, mang. It was pretty intense. By a school and other mostly residential stuff. Still waiting for my confession to show up itt

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Solice Kirsk posted:

I thought they were done buying you Sherman avs. Guess they just missed seeing em.

I never recanted so I'm sure he's still mad.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

oh right, Putty wrote a confession claiming to be Jastiger but really he wants everyone to go to his Youtube channel

Post it so I can sue for libel.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Its actually russian hacking but ok.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

VanSandman posted:

Isn't part of the appeal of tungsten carbide that it doesn't deform once set, but it does shatter with sufficient force? I believe thats the standard for removing the ring when it's stuck, too.

Yeah. You could probably smash it with your hand or even drop it from a height. But to put pin point pressure on it like a hammer would do, just lol.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Darth Freddy posted:

I had my first kidney stone over the new year and one of the things a doctor kept on asking was about my sex life and my wife's sex life. rear end in a top hat.

Ah yes kidney stone or uti. Good cover.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Its not cheating. He doesnt even have on his wedding ring.

Idiots.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

The Management posted:

He's also in a different zip code so it's cool.

One day he's going to have to change jobs and his wife will figure it out when he can't go two days without loving her.

Lol if you havent used that line to get soke strange

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Professor isnt a rapist. Sounds like adults entering into an agreement.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

fruit on the bottom posted:

Sounds like blackmail and abuse of authority.

Why am I not surprised that you have the worst opinion on something?

If you dont show up to work on time, youre fired.

"My boss is black mailing me!!!!! Abuse, abuse!!"- fruit on the bottom

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Mycroft Holmes posted:

i used to think jastiger was good, given his opinions on the south, but he has now proven he is a terrible person.

I am still good, just being IRONICALLY funny. The best!

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

H.H posted:

Wrestling fans are weird:

My boyfriend and I have a perfect relationship except for one thing - he is imitating Ric Flair almost all the time in his free time.

He considers Ric to be some kind of gay icon to him - between the robes, the blonde hair, and the wrestling tights.... my boyfriend was really deeply closeted growing up and I think wrestling was one of his first outlets towards understanding himself. So he's loved Ric Flair since he was a kid. That's awesome and I'm glad he has a hero.

What I'm not happy about is randomly getting chopped across the chest (my boyfriend fakes these, but it's still annoying), being put in the Figure 4 leglock, and being "Woo"'d at. My boyfriend also took one of my favorite bathrobes, bedazzled it on the back and added a bunch of feathers to it. ADMITTEDLY THIS LOOKS PRETTY AWESOME - but it's a bathrobe that's no longer functional and he did this without asking my permission.

At one point I said gently caress it, I'll fight fire with fire, and dressed up like Ricky "The Dragon Steamboat" with the goal of annoying him so much that he'd see my side of things. Unfortunately he really enjoyed it, thought I was roleplaying to come on to him, and he now is constantly asking me to dress as Flair's various rivals from the past (Steamboat, Sting, Dusty Rhodes, etc).

We have discussed this many times. I'll usually get about a week of freedom. Then I'll come home from work and find him cutting promos on the cat or Flair strutting around the house.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9py4aMK3aIU

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
When im inaugerated as president, SmashMouth is performing All Star.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Ive literally had that wrestling character thought about my wife and caricatures of her that way in a fantasy setting like wwe. Totally believable.

Hell everyone at some point could probably relate.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Hard no. posted:

Dear goon admirer, I think that I should thank you for being brave in articulating in what you think you feel, but that it is completely unwarranted, that I promise there is absolutely nothing special about me, that there are millions of women who wear leather coats and play with grease. :) It is nice that you think I am pretty, everyone likes to hear that. We all tell each other that openly in the pyf thread, because it is true, goons are beautiful creatures.

I um, am not expecting any pm's professing love, but since my pm function doesn't work on my end, anyone who does want to chat and be friends, I am a good goon-friend. In fact, a goonfriend told me about this post. How nice of him. Thanks goon friend for that.

Please continue the to be a non stalker, that would be appreciated, and if you decide that you want to participate more actively in the thread, you really should, anyone should, it is a lot of fun, and yeah, we learn a lot about each other. You guys should check out Picnic Princess getting her finger bitten by a monkey and the gory photos that resulted from that!

So... love your girlfriend, okay? She's real. I am a goon. A really bad one at that.

This just makes me like you more.

Edit: i bet this makes the anon confession goon like you more.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
A southern nurse or....?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
What would he face charges for?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
How is it his fault they are auto approving things?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Makes sense then

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Police Automaton posted:

You'll probably still get hosed but it will make it harder.

The loving willbr harder?! Admit to everything, embezzlement goon! It will be harder hell yeah!

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
You should never ever strike a kid.
WWE style wrestling moves should be totally ok though. Give the kid an Attitude Adjustment and he will be proper.


For real if that one is realx that 13 year old deserves serious punishment. Hell Id consider bringing him to work and making him apologize personally to the boss for messing with dads work. He should know better.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

yeah I eat rear end posted:

If I were that guy's boss and he brought his kid into work I'd punish him even more. Never import drama into work, just take your punishment quietly and get back to work.

You would? I dunno. I guess if the boss already punished him harshley maybe he wouldnt take kindly to kiddo apologizing. But i think its a great learning opportunity.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
How about this......promote him?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Promote him for his initiative and acceptance of cultures.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Didnt i say several times to promote him? Jastiger wins again.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I wonder if non-indian hiring goon is in the SOUTH.

But for real, there are serious reasons not to hire folks that don't communicate well.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Im Iowa. Literally. Suck it Deathzoners

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

SniperWoreConverse posted:

a more elegant solution would have been to just not draw the map after a certain point. "What happened out east? nobody knows the fuckin apocalypse happened"

Then he couldnt demonstrate the superiority of Iowa, so good map imo

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Lol if you cant eat for more than 30 seconds. Start slow and change patterns. Like if you're lifting weights repetitiously or doing push ups you can kind of flex different muscles to get the job done. Thats bad for work outs but good for more reps. Do the same thing with your tongue, go this way, then that way up and down then side to side to mix it up. Use your lips to supplement and dont be afraid to take a break at appropriate times to kiss on the thighs.

And remember. Always eat the booty.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

KomodoWagon posted:

If you really consider this "buddy" a friend, you'll tell him right away. Cheaters are worthless and every second he's with her is a disgrace to himself.

Look at this boring rear end motherfucker.

Git on it goon, shes into you!

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Isnt the more granular measurement better for day to day stuff? Yeah? Fahrenheit wins for weather (not climate), and Celsius for everything else.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

loquacius posted:

:siren:all forms of measurement are inherently arbitrary:siren:

How hot was this burn in Fahrenheit pls?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Fartbox posted:

I like small titties

also big titties

To be honest though, I like butts more than titties

A correct post.

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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Hes safe. Im half black half white, wife is half Mexican half white and our daughter os blond hair blue eyed. He is safe to secure the future of his race

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