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Prokhor Zakharov posted:Deadbeat Dad Goon: I know, right. Doesn't anyone ever watch whatever Court TV is now?
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Sep 28, 2016 22:22
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I'm not sure which is worse... being a serial dog killer or a bug spreading fuckboy. I'm surprised there aren't more furry confessions, though. Those people have to feel awful about themselves.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:21
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ElGroucho posted:Looking forward to the eventual pissing in to the well ceremony I'm sure there's far worse coming. This whole thread is one tale-topper after the next.
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Oct 7, 2016 00:00
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JnnyThndrs posted:Racist arsonist: good try, but 7-11's never close. The 7-11 across the street from me closes at 11 o'clock.
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Oct 7, 2016 01:23
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ladron posted:does it open at 7? It re-opens at 5 am.
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Oct 7, 2016 01:49
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Solice Kirsk posted:If he wants 90's perms and clothing then he should move to any rural Iowa town. A simple fix for a simple problem. I dunno, Iowa is a bit more progressive these days, I think the hollers of Kentucky is always good for that type of nostalgia.
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Oct 7, 2016 05:56
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rear end pen man, I want to believe.
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Oct 7, 2016 15:31
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Putty posted:I used to pack all my stuff in my bag instead of use a locker in elem and middle school. One of my health teachers one year told me that was dangerous, but it was literally on the last day of school and he was otherwise a nut. I had scoliosis and then a stress fracture. I grew to about 6'2, by the time I was 12... at night my brace would creak as I grew and breathed. We lived in a small cottage and my poor brothers and sisters had to wear hearing protection to sleep.
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Oct 11, 2016 21:43
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He wanted that diabetic to die. Wished it. Left remarks like "irritating" and "know it all". It was just a matter of time until he snapped. That confession reads like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU7gnMSzf_c
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Oct 12, 2016 05:25
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Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:that's not in the blair witch movie It is in the recent remake. http://otlsm.com/what-was-the-bright-white-light-in-blair-witch-what-is-the-blair-witch/
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Oct 12, 2016 16:06
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violent sex idiot posted:hes saying he saw the new one and it awoke his repressed memories Did he regret it? I missed that one.
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Oct 13, 2016 02:53
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CharlestonJew posted:that dude got a sex change? in Iran? for free? *looks up flights to Iran*  Hello, sailor. I personally find John Cleese and Graham Chapman more sexy in drag.
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Oct 13, 2016 18:25
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I really don't like most of the confessions I didn't write, for some reason.
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Oct 14, 2016 00:05
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I remember Trevor the rat punching Dennis the aardvark in the nose after he caught Dennis peeking in on his 3 way rabbit porno. I think Dennis goes back to sniffing panties and Trevor says something like "going on an early minge-binge?" And then Dennis snorts the bad coke and Bletch gets into a war with Mr Big.
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Nov 14, 2016 23:08
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The old bearded clam. Snappers. Ham wallets.
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Nov 15, 2016 02:35
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hth posted:time lost is brain lost does anyone else smell burnt hair?
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Nov 15, 2016 07:19
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loquacius posted:Reading this at first I was like "yeah the Podesta emails really illustrate how insular and up their own rear end our Ruling Class are" and then I kept reading and I was like "hm I've never heard of that part" and then I read some more and I was like "uhhhh The Seth Rich thing is kind of interesting, though. I mean look at this list. Which of these is not like the other? http://mpdc.dc.gov/page/major-caseunsolved-homicides-2016
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Nov 19, 2016 18:11
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loquacius posted:I do think that government assassins literally stealing a murder plot from House Of Cards is a funny idea I lived in the district back when it was a lot more murdery. I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. Being a DC Metro cop wasn't such a great idea. In all likelihood, Seth Rich was just unlucky. There's always a homicide that bucks the trend. My room mate was one of them. She was gunned down in NE at an ATM near Howard by an amateur armed robber with a bad case of nerves. I would drive around for hours in that neighborhood for months after that. I'm not sure what I was looking for, I never found anything but despair. I'd been to some really horrible places on this planet but never experienced tragedy like that. I'll never get my head around it, because I cannot place myself in the mind of the shooter. "I'm going to kill this person and end everything they'll ever be, right here, and take the gift of life from them - because I cannot sense how horrible what I'm about to do really is".
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Nov 19, 2016 19:03
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Fentanyl laced heroin hit my area, fiends were dropping dead with the spike still in their arms. The hosed up part is that junkies from all over started coming downtown in my city to GET this poo poo. 8 dead that I know of so far. Hopefully more to come.bradzilla posted:
I am the one who poops Harakiri Potter fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Nov 21, 2016 |
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Nov 21, 2016 15:37
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Solice Kirsk posted:We never called it a "fight club" but my friends and I used to box each other all the time. We tried using that as the way to settle simple disputes....but that was a bad idea. I was eating at a Denny's.. I think in Yukon, Oklahoma and these juggalo dudes invited me to their fight club. I had to see it so I followed them over and it was just their parents driveway. They put on football pads and started hitting each other with padded sticks. It was pretty funny. I was laughing and then they started playing with lighter fluid. I left and they were yelling to me come back, come back, we're not done yet. The life of a trucker; I had a dead line and Utah needs string beans.
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Nov 22, 2016 23:25
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skeemon posted:-Wayne Gretzky - Lee Harvey Oswald - Bud Dwyer
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Nov 23, 2016 16:41
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skeemon posted:-Ricardo Lopez My confession is that I too, stalk Bjork.
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Nov 23, 2016 16:44
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I wrote like, a lot of these confessions, that's my confession.
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Nov 25, 2016 18:16
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I once punched a midget because he was drunk as gently caress and felt up my woman. He said he knew people in Hollywood and he would sue me then have me killed. I guess he did know Bam Margera.
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Nov 29, 2016 01:16
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Gay hockey goon and the dog shooter could be a pretty good romcom if you think about it. Just make the dog shooter gay, too. Not like this poo poo is real.
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Dec 6, 2016 23:20
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fruit on the bottom posted:This guy is going to end up as one of those prostitute serial killers. It's gotta be tough to be a serial killer in a developed country nowadays. All of those cameras everywhere.
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Dec 7, 2016 00:43
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glowstick party tonight posted:Is Ryan cute? Send him my way he can pay my rent and give me pecks on the cheek User name checks out on this one.
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Dec 7, 2016 05:23
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Play posted:I do, easily. Especially if drugs and alcohol is involved, I clocked myself at a minute and forty five seconds of solid stream. I'm also a tall man with large internal organs. I'd guess at least half a gallon on occasion. That's impressive. I knew a fat diabetic that lived in the apartment above me. He drank a lot of beer. A lot of beer. He used the bathroom in my place once and it was like a 5 minute opus of a man with a three gallon sized bladder and a huge urethra. You could hear his piss over the tv. poo poo was insane. He's dead now, he fell asleep at the wheel and crashed drunk coming home from the beach driving northbound in the southbound lanes and took a cop with him.
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Dec 7, 2016 21:20
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More retard fuckers, twin brother incest and no blood cancer dicks, thanks.
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Dec 8, 2016 21:29
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There's a lot of piss in this thread.
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Dec 11, 2016 00:05
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Doesn't guerillamail forward the IP in the header? I'd wager there's maybe a handful of people writing these. There might be a lot of pissers though.
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Dec 14, 2016 23:12
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FYAD stoner is the dog shooter.
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Dec 14, 2016 23:50
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I'd love to hear some dramatic readings of these confessions. Blood cum. 7/11 lisps. Brojobs and clown fuckers - I'd listen to that in my car.
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Dec 15, 2016 23:10
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Guys please stop making GBS threads up this thread unless you're George RR Martin and plan on confessing to being a terrible, rip off goony writer.
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Dec 16, 2016 22:27
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Nothing like shooting yourself on New Years Eve to lighten things up a little bit. I bet whoever was hosting that party was dying of laughter when they had to clean up the brains, and with all those cops around I'm sure it was a blast.
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Dec 18, 2016 02:45
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So, something kind of awesome happened, I was visiting a studio to do some guitar overdubs for a friend's movie project soundtrack. Long story short, I met some pretty talented voice over artists. If I were to get them to do a dramatic reading of a confession or two, which ones should I ask them to do? I've got contact information for these people. One's a lady from Wales, a big goofy dude that kinda sounds like Space Ghost, a black guy who was an offensive lineman at Kentucky (dude is huge) and some other odd, interesting people. So, eh, like which confessions would you like to hear read aloud from a voice over artist?
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Jan 12, 2017 00:25
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Great, more autism.
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Jan 13, 2017 06:01
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Johny-on-the-Spot posted:Does anyone who has both guns and pets in their home ever point the gun at their pet, and are all like, "Guns are bad, if someone points a gun at you, you should run away?" My dog knows what a gun is. I don't point it at him, because I used a water gun to train him from eating all the ducks he fetches. Also, I like to blow things up around my farm.
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Aug 1, 2017 02:21
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got any sevens posted:How's the g/f I'll have to get back to you on that one.
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Aug 1, 2017 05:38
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HerStuddMuffin posted:I think smelly confessor is lying. I’m not claiming the confession is stdh.txt, I’m saying she’s deluded or lying about her personal hygiene. Specifically, showering every other day. Assuming she’s washing her whole body with soap every other day, and not just wetting her feet and calling it a shower, there’s no way she could stink enough to be sent home multiple times from a job that doesn’t put her in contact with other humans. I had this farmhand named Dave who never brushed his teeth and smelled like someone ate nothing but bad sauerkraut, poo poo their pants and then set their loving diaper on fire. When I work around animal poo poo and piss all day and the first thing I notice is this guy's stench, that was pretty bad. He was living in a 38' trailer on the property that had been hooked up with a nice hot water heater and a flush toilet - actually, it was quite nice inside and out. What I didn't know was that he was a diabetic. He never washed his clothes and he slammed down about 18-30 beers a day. He never had any energy and 4 times I had to have the medics come out and give him glucose for his low blood sugar. He passed out one time using a power augur to dig new fence posts. I'd had enough of him - the fucker would buy DVD's by the crate load from Amazon and smell instead of washing his loving clothes. When I got the bill from the medics the last time, I told him, if you don't manage your diabetes properly, and I find you in a coma AGAIN, I'll just pick you up and drag your rear end off the property and call 911. That didn't happen - because I said it in anger. I did everything I could for this guy, but he'd never shower or clean himself off. After I poo poo-canned him, and he only worked for me for about 4 months, the trailer he moved into was pretty trashed. The toilet had a layer of gray scum the likes I'd never seen. My new hire slept in my guest bedroom until the trailer was decontaminated.
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Nov 17, 2017 19:12
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