SWOLECEPTION: lift big eat big shit big

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SWOLECEPTION: lift big eat big shit big

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

jonathan posted:

If I put the truck which weighs around 130,000lbs loaded, into low gear, let out the clutch then ran up front and laid down feet first Infront of the tire, how far would I get flattened before going unconscious ?

Would my major organs explode out my skull or would they find a different route ?

i dunno i kind of imagine less exploding but like a tube of toothpaste and everything is just gonna ooze out where it can through broken skin. like stomping on a roach. i don't think you would make it much further than ribcage area if the truck is taking its sweet time crushing you. i might have a nightmare about this, nn.

# ¿ Nov 30, 2016 05:40

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 20:58

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

sassassin posted:

Imagine how loving strong you'd be if you spent two weeks at home with your feet up, eating everything and getting to bed by 9.

how the gently caress would i be able to fall asleep if i didn't drive myself into the ground with physical exertion and have a constant sleep deficit pulling me into bed with its sexy tendrils.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 17:53

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Keg posted:

Jack off

if im sitting at home not moving and mom is bringing me unlimited pizza bagels that doesn't work

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 18:58

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Hatebag posted:

Try hyperventilating and listening to death metal.

don't forget to slap yourself across the face

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 21:14

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

lol jfc some guy at the gym is lifting his rear end up about a mile off the bench to bounce 240 off his chest, which one of you??

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 21:29

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Zzulu posted:

but thats what the powerlifters do hence it is also something I, random gymbabby, need to do

nevermind the fact that powerlifters do that poo poo to bend the rules of their sport and there's no benefit to it at all for a normie

lmfao u tried

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 21:52

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Zzulu posted:

how much of the rear end? Some of that persons butt may or may not be touching the bench

we're going to have to call in the buttprofessor on this one I think

don't stop

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 21:52

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Dum Cumpster posted:

I think you're about to put her to sleep.

yes im going to cum to how wrong he is. i could have put a loving textbook under this guy's rear end and it wouldn't have touched. i guess it was powerlifting legal lol xD

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 22:02

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Zzulu posted:

relax friend, i wasnt actually going to call a buttprofessor

i was merely trying to educate the goonfolk on whyy heavy arching is pointless for them

half the goons itt are part of a shoulder invalid camp i think they already subscribed to ur philosophy with great results

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 22:12

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Zzulu posted:

like that swole bob saget said, a slight arch is good, enough to slide your hand under you

anything more than that is just to limit range of motion for competitions

Winnie the poo poo posted:

lol jfc some guy at the gym is lifting his rear end up about a mile off the bench to bounce 240 off his chest, which one of you??

yeah i was definitely making fun of a powerlifting bench ty for your input im gonna scream at the top of my lungs in stand still traffic for 45 minutes so im tired enough to be asleep by 9pm cya

# ¿ Dec 1, 2016 22:23

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

sassassin posted:

If you wear oly shoes it's easier to get your heels down for a clean legal bench #lifehacks

don't compete in usapl and toe bench 4 lyfe

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 13:44

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Fallows posted:

Its probably easier to just not injure your self in the first place

well actually every passing moment is you getting that much closer to death, the ultimate injury

# ¿ Dec 3, 2016 12:15

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

bamhand posted:

Those are way more comfortable. I wear 2 layers of wrist bands and regular straps still hurt my wrists. Maybe I'm a huge wuss.

why would your wrists hurt unless you are doing some crazy poo poo like lifting with no hands

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 04:39

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Tiny Lowtax posted:

You're the one girl in this thread, right?

i was 134lb yesterday, 147lb would look bad on me unless i get some gear

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 10:19

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

im a retail retard losing weight by too tired to cook or eat dinner which only makes me more tired so i skip the gym to catch up on sleep and hope I never wake up. but im only 2 days behind on the gym so im gonna squat tomorrow after work and then go to that really good deli that makes me happy because i lost my duck fat fries virginity there. unless this guy sends me a winky face emoji then nevermind

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 03:36

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Rodenthar Drothman posted:

Little known fact: winky-face emoji means "I see you squatting, good job, squat more."

no it means he has salami for me. i don't think he lifts and hasn't really seen or felt my squat parts thoroughly so maybe i got an edge here

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 04:34

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Green Crayons posted:

you should try decreasing the quantity of types of exercises, and focus on increasing number of sets. also, as you're on the four-day schedule (best schedule), you should try devoting each day to a major lift (squat, bench, dead, ohp) and then add in two or three accessories/core, depending on how long your focus lift takes.

this is not ~expert advice~, just your schedule looks like what I used to do but then I evolved to doing what I just recommended, and I found it much preferable. might help you jump off the "gotta find a program" railroad you're on.

that kind of sounds like gzcl's "the rippler" program that im running right now.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 04:44

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

as a horrible goon i like my beep boop forklift spreadsheets so I was name dropping just in case anyone wanted to look it up i wasn't trying to smug parade u

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 05:00

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Khorne posted:

I'm taking the rest of the week off and it's driving me insane. I have a brain disease that makes me think if I don't show up I am going to lose my gains and not make progress. Tempted to go do cardio for an hour and a half. My idle heart rate is over 80bpm and improving conditioning will greatly help any of my squats that are more than 2 reps. Maybe.

mine is like 95 and its bc of Wellbutrin. then my psych made me get an ekg and my heart is fine. then she asked me if i wanted to increase the dose. uhhh no ill get so edgy I'll turn into a literal knife. im probably going to die either way because it was like 80 on no meds.

today at the gym old man oly had compression tights on and sat down smiling and watching me squat. on my second set he was standing and smiling. before my last set he came over and told me my squats look good. then he watched my amrap set from the other side of the room and i only got 6 letting us both down immensely.

i didn't go to the deli and i didn't get a winky face emoji text

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 01:05

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

my hours disappear after Christmas as a retail store no longer has a purpose after the holidays. which is more time to injure myself at the gym like today where i managed to murder my right wrist doing amrap ohp with no wraps gj me

# ¿ Dec 10, 2016 23:32

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

bamhand posted:

But did you PR? You must be doing something really wrong or have super lovely wrists if you're screwing them up with OHP.

its probably both bc its an old injury mad at me again. technical pr maybe. I'll just put some tiger balm on it and Squat Every Day

# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 05:51

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

a mysterious cloak posted:

I too am having the big butt and legs problem. This is a good problem.

until you need dress pants

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 00:00

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

buddhanc posted:

You guys actually take time off for injuries?

I repeatedly work out until the pain stops or I get used to it. The one true way to handle soreness and injury

same so i just benched with wraps today and everything was fine

# ¿ Dec 15, 2016 01:06

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Dum Cumpster posted:

You'll never be strong because that was determined by your genes at conception (none of us are strong fyi) and no one gives a poo poo about what you look like. Do whatever.

i knew the first part but ive been having a meltdown all week over the second

# ¿ Dec 15, 2016 18:04

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Constipated posted:

Lol if you aren't taking at least 20-30 mg at once. I miss the warm opiate buzz, but not the constipation that comes with it. Not great to take on workout days either, but I'll be damned if it didn't make me an absolute speedy beast at work.

Squatted today, was weak as gently caress.. Probably because I had to do the work of 2 people today after the other guy who works with me called off.

they gave me vicodin after my wisdom tooth extraction then i got constipated so my mouth wounds and my butthole screamed simultaneously. good prank oral surgeon.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 14:27

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

Tiny Lowtax posted:

Calvin Johnson Jr is my new least favorite poster in this thread and that's saying a lot

sorry dad

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 22:52

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

E_P posted:

Idk. To me both are unhealthy things that shouldnt be consumed often. How do you see it?

how dare u suggest anyone cope with their hellscape life without food and booze pleasures daily

# ¿ Dec 20, 2016 17:57

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

i bought my romaleos for 80 dollars and my crossfit lite trs for 35. adipowers were like 80 on 6pm last week but they're 140 now. you'll probably be able to save up enough lunch money by the time another deal shows up

# ¿ Dec 22, 2016 22:53

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

lmao what the gently caress a year of 70 hour weeks those shoes died 6 months ago. did you even replace the insoles?? why do you use one pair of shoes for everything?

# ¿ Dec 23, 2016 13:33

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

im at work and then im gonna get on a bus and find out what my mom meant by Caribbean Christmas. i dunno if im a big enough loser to bring my gym poo poo and get a day pass to a NYC gym or wait until Wednesday

# ¿ Dec 24, 2016 10:23

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

its almost 2 and dinner is not ready im just going to eat all these Christmas cookies

# ¿ Dec 25, 2016 19:48

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

you buy poo poo from publix and then put off buying work shoes jfc

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 07:42

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

ive seen ppl bench 4 plates in a commercial gym and they were obviously twice my size physically and dick wise

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 18:04

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

GORDON posted:

Discouragement is the only motivation that works. I dare you to go to the gym and stick with it. If you need your hand held and dick sucked to get in the door, and kind words and hugs to keep going the second week, eventually people are going to get tired of holding your hand and sucking your dick to get you to take care of yourself. Lasting change only comes from within.

Tell the haters to go gently caress themselves and prove us wrong, because I think you're gonna quit.

who gives a gently caress dude

# ¿ Jan 1, 2017 03:28

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

GORDON posted:

Lots of people actually

so far it's just u worried about nyr washouts and everyone else itt can't wait for them to stay home so there's parking and equipment available just like the other 50 weeks of the year

# ¿ Jan 1, 2017 04:30

Winnie the Shit: Dec 25, 2005; the cat came back

a customer at work said "u go to the gym?" and idk what gave him that idea. i had my baggiest t-shirt on. did i pick up a box that weighed more than 2 pounds? its been snowing all morning so i didn't gym

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 19:24