What is the second worst song lyric of all time?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What is the second worst song lyric of all time?

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

In my mind, there's no question what the worst is.
"Rumours" is a beautiful album, mainly about breaking up by a band that had lovers who had broken up with/were breaking up with/were going to break up with each other.
It was the best selling album of the 1970s, a rare merge of popular and critical acclaim.
Which makes it ever more atrocious that the chorus to the very first song is as follows:

"When times go bad
And you can't get enough
Won't you lay me down in the tall grass
And let me do my stuff

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
Doot doodly doo!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6Fdm3-dnr0&t=30s

I don't think I've ever hear a more vulgar (or, frankly, inaccurate) depiction of sex noises. Horrendous

So what's the second worst lyric? Dave Barry once had a contest, and overwhelmingly decided it was the second verse of "Take the Money and Run" by Steve Miller Band

"Billy Mac is a detective down in texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is.
He's not gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his living off of other people's taxes."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WCFUGCOLLU&t=70s

Not only do none of those four words truly rhyme, the weird shift into the financial details of civics is just jarring.

What's your least favorite song lyric?

Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Sep 29, 2016

# ? Sep 29, 2016 02:53

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# ? May 12, 2024 20:28

skeemon: Aug 4, 2007; $ $ $T R A P L O R D $ $ $

"Real rappers are had to find/like a remote"

Common, on "Get Em High" off Kanye West's The College Dropout

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:08

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

skeemon posted:

"Real rappers are had to find/like a remote"

Common, on "Get Em High" off Kanye West's The College Dropout

Wow, yeah... it's kinda funny but that doesn't even rhyme.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:09

DEEP STATE PLOT: Aug 13, 2008; Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!

you're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul

i still get embarrassed for the singer every time i hear this.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:10

Manticorny: Sep 7, 2016; It's a sad and beautiful world.

a classic gbs thread right here! boy i sure did miss this

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:12

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

any pitbull song "hmhmmmmmhmhhhmmnnghgnhmmhmngmhngmnh"

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:13

client: Aug 19, 2010

Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:14

Oh Adaira: May 7, 2008; Casual Tabby

"I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend."

Cause I don't really wanna step back from the ledge, ya know?

Oh Adaira fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Sep 29, 2016

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:14

Mr. Smile Face Hat: Sep 15, 2003; Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy

"Believe me when I say to you I hope the Russians love their children too."

Yeah, I believe you that you hope that. So?

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:15

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

"Eatin Asian pussy all I need is sweet and sour sauce"

coincidentally it's also the best lyric of all time

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:15

Plebian Parasite: Oct 12, 2012

Tolkien minority posted:

"Eatin Asian pussy all I need is sweet and sour sauce"

coincidentally it's also the best lyric of all time

My favorite best/worst lyric is:
"hosed da pussy til it's orange like ernie and bert"

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:18

client: Aug 19, 2010

I'ma get my chief on {chief on}
While she suck my ding dong {ding dong}
Eyes like a ching chong {ching chong}
Hard on like king kong {king kong}

- from the three 6 mafia classic Put Cha Dick In Her Mouth

i lol every time

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:19

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

I'm just gonna limit myself to critically-acclaimed songs with terrible lyrics.

"If I was a sculptor, but then again, no." -Elton John
"He got feet down below his knees" - The Beatles

Also, the entire lyrics to the song "Tighten Up" (which, before you say it doesn't count, is listed as one of the greatest songs of all time by Rolling Stone):

quote:

"Hi everybody. I'm Archie Drell and the Drells from Houston, Texas. We don't
only sing but we dance just as good as we walk. In Houston we just started a
new dance called the Tighten Up. This is the music we tighten up to.

First tighten up on the drums. Come on now drummer. I want you to tighten
it up for me now. oh yeah
Tighten up on that bass now. Tighten it up. ha ha Yeah
Now let that guitar fall in. Oh yeah
Tighten up on that organ now.

Ya, do the tighten up. Yeah now.
I said if you can do it now,
It sure would be tough.

Now look here. Come on now. Make it mellow.
Let's tighten up now. Do the tighten up.
Everybody can do it now. So let's do it.
We're gonna tighten up. Let's do the tighten up.
You can do it now. So baby get to it.

Let's do your left now. Let's do your right.
You can do it. But don'tcha just do it light.
Come on and tighten up. Tighten it up now.

Come on now drum. Tighten it up.
Tighten up that bass. Oh yeah
Now look here. I want that guitar to fall in on that.
Tighten it up now. Oh yeah
Now tighten it up organ.
There everybody, tighten it up.

Now look here. We gonna make it mellow for ya now.
We gonna make it mellow now.
Tighten up. You can tighten up."

Also this, from the classic "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang:

quote:

Well, I was walking home late one afternoon
A reporter stopped me for an interview
She said she's heard stories and she's heard fables
That I'm vicious on the mic and the turntable
This young reporter I did adore,
So I rocked some vicious rhymes like I never did before
She said, "drat, fly guy, I'm in love with you
The Casanova legend must have been true"
I said, "By the way, baby, what's your name?"
Said, "I go by name of Lois Lane
And you could be my boyfriend, you surely can,
Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman."
I said, "He's a fairy, I do suppose
Flyin' through the air in pantyhose
He may be very sexy, or even cute,
But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit, "
I said, "You need a man man who's got finesse
And his whole name across his chest
He may be able to fly all through the night,
But can he rock a party 'til the early light?
He can't satisfy you with his little worm,
But I can bust you out with my super sperm!"

Now, before you say "Yeah, but there are tons of horrible rap lyrics", here's what Wikipedia says about this song:

quote:

"While it was not the first single to feature rapping, it is generally considered to be the song that introduced hip hop music to audiences in the United States and around the world. The song is ranked #251 on the Rolling Stone magazine's list of The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and #2 on VH1's 100 Greatest Hip-Hop Songs. It is also included in NPR's list of the 100 most important American musical works of the 20th century. It was preserved into the National Recording Registry by the Library of Congress in 2011. Songs on the National Recording Registry are "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.""

Yes. Superman's dick is "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." Christ. When people ask me why I try to avoid rap music, I point out that this song is considered the pinnacle of all a rap song can be. Why the gently caress would I want to listen to rap when THIS is the genre's crowning achievement?

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:23

client: Aug 19, 2010

Friginator posted:

Also this, from the classic "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang:

Now, before you say "Yeah, but there are tons of horrible rap lyrics", here's what Wikipedia says about this song:

Yes. Superman's dick is "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." Christ. When people ask me why I try to avoid rap music, I point out that this song is considered the pinnacle of all a rap song can be. Why the gently caress would I want to listen to rap when THIS is the genre's crowning achievement?

i've seen a lot of poo poo in my time but i never thought id see the day that somebody trolled rapper's delight.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:27

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Plebian Parasite posted:

My favorite best/worst lyric is:
"hosed da pussy til it's orange like ernie and bert"

bert is yellow

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:28

Plebian Parasite: Oct 12, 2012

he's yellowish

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:31

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

client posted:

i've seen a lot of poo poo in my time but i never thought id see the day that somebody trolled rapper's delight.

I think the phrase "super sperm" really kinda speaks for itself.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:32

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

"Coast to coast, LA to Chicago"
"What else could I say? Everyone is gay."
"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."

Oh, and here, for your enjoyment, are the complete lyrics to MacArthur Park:

quote:

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh no!

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why

Oh no
No no
Oh No!

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:37

doug fuckey: Jun 7, 2007; hella greenbacks

It's not the pinnacle of rap it's what introduced hip hop to white audiences, and if something is "the first time white people caught on to a thing" you can guarantee it's going to be some dumb poo poo.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:38

skeemon: Aug 4, 2007; $ $ $T R A P L O R D $ $ $

Tolkien minority posted:

"Eatin Asian pussy all I need is sweet and sour sauce"

coincidentally it's also the best lyric of all time

"Black girl drinkin' white wine/put my fist in her like a civil rights sign"

Kanye's entire catalogue is full of terrible/fantastic lines. It's his forté

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:41

Plebian Parasite: Oct 12, 2012

Giant steps are what you take
Walking on the moon
I hope my legs don't break
Walking on the moon
We could walk forever
Walking on the moon
We could be together
Walking on, walking on the moon

Some may say
I'm wishing my days away
No way
And if it's the price I pay
Some say
Tomorrow's another day
You stay
I may as well play

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:43

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

I assume no one has quoted it yet because it's so obvious, but "Miracles" by ICP never gets old. You'd think it would stop being funny after awhile, but it still makes me laugh, every time they get to this part:

quote:

I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay
It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away

That has nothing to do with the rest of the song. It's not claiming that anything is a miracle. It's not about anything. Everybody always quotes the bit about magnets (which is still funny), but this is the part that makes me laugh the hardest.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:52

guns for tits: Dec 25, 2014

Lil Wayne has pretty bad ones

"Big house, long hallways
Got 10 bathrooms I can poo poo all day."

"Swagger tighter than a yeast infection
Fly go hard like a geese erection"

# ? Sep 29, 2016 03:57

Genderfluent: Jul 15, 2015

The first verse of Joni Mitchell's For Free is so forced it is unbelievable. The only song you will ever hear where "hotel" rhymes with "jewels" and "schools." Startlingly bad from someone considered one of the greatest songwriters of all time

I slept last night in a good hotel
I went shopping today for jewels
The wind rushed around in the dirty town
And the children let out from the schools
I was standing on a noisy corner
Waiting for the walking green
Across the street he stood
And he played real good
On his clarinet, for free

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:02

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

"Ride the snake
To the lake
The ancient lake
The snake is old
And his skin is cold"

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:04

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

There were plants and birds and rocks and things

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:04

Dmitri-9: Nov 30, 2004; There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck. I love Uncle Scrooge.

You make me come. You make me complete. You make me completely miserable.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:09

John Denver Hoxha: May 31, 2014; What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts

Your sperm's in the gutter and your love's in the sink

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:10

glowing-fish: Feb 18, 2013; Keep grinding,
I hope you level up!

screamin and creamin posted:

"Believe me when I say to you I hope the Russians love their children too."

Yeah, I believe you that you hope that. So?

Sting and the Police have some real classics. My own vote would have to be "King of Pain"

"There's a little black spot on the sun today...that's my soul up there"

Followed by a long list of obviously morbid similies that Sting wants to tell us about.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:17

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

This one's full of gems. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette:

quote:

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic, don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought, it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole drat life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice."
And isn't it ironic, l don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought, it figures

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic, don't you think
A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought, it figures

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny way of helping you out
Helping you out.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:19

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, Peggy Sue

I'm pretty sure there was a word shortage in the 50's due to the war, so they had to reuse the ones they had.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:22

Mr. Sharps: Jul 30, 2006; The only true law is that which leads to freedom. There is no other.

Friginator posted:

Oh, and here, for your enjoyment, are the complete lyrics to MacArthur Park:

macarthur park owns and the donna summer 17 minute long disco version of it owns most of all

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:33

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

I personally think popular music should be put under this sort of scrutiny again. I mean, if it's really a good song, you shouldn't have to fall back on excuses like "But it was so historically significant!"

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:46

Yvershek: Nov 15, 2000; and there are no
diamonds in the
mine

gently caress my enemies
gently caress my foes
drat these hoes
You're stepping on my toes

Puff Daddy - Come With Me

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:50

RolandTower: Nov 19, 2003; Guns n' Roses n' Deus Ex Machina; Bleak Gremlin

Downloaded the ablum "Native To" but Is Tropical, an Indie band of no particular note who made a pretty sweet music video for one of the singles The Greeks.

Anyhow most of the album is pretty decent, but one song towards the end features the line

"I wish I could just eat your eyes/ So you could see through all my poo poo"

Crooned amid otherwise fairly banal breakup song lyrics. That one always struck me as a particularly strong combination of terrible imagery, tortured metaphor, and complete out-of-placeness within the song.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:51

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Isn't rappers delight blatantly plagiarized from some other song? Do blatantly that he even calls himself by the original artists name at some point in the song.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:54

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

"the"

I hear that word in so many songs that it has lost meaning.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:57

skeemon: Aug 4, 2007; $ $ $T R A P L O R D $ $ $

BrigadierSensible posted:

"the"

I hear that word in so many songs that it has lost meaning.

"Heart" too

# ? Sep 29, 2016 05:03

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

song so bad it made multiple people commit suicide:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUCyjDOlnPU

# ? Sep 29, 2016 05:05

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# ? May 12, 2024 20:28

FAGGY CLAUSE: Apr 9, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

I've always hated when rappers would change the pronunciation of a word in order to get it to rhyme with the rest of the lyrics. DMX was bad at this, actually most of his lyrics are beyond horrible. Eminem does it sometimes.

Open like a window no more Indo look at a video
Sayin' to myself that could've been yo

# ? Sep 29, 2016 05:06

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