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PREVIOUSLY, IN THE FUNNY FORUMS QUOTES THREADSolice Kirsk posted:Sometimes I think the only good thing that came from the bachelor threads was the duct taping of bags of wine in the shower to have a classy shower wine instead of a lowly shower beer. loquacius posted:wait, do you fill your glass in the shower, or do you tape the bag way up high and drink directly from the spigot, or do you poke a hole in the top and stick in some plastic tubing to use as a straw, or what RyokoTK posted:You shower with the wine, obviously. BOOTY-ADE posted:All of these are valid but I prefer the straw, like a big adult Capri Sun a kitten posted:Overhead like a giant hamster bottle Solice Kirsk posted:I always thought a nice wine glass sitting on the soap dish would add a touch of class to a shower. So the one time I had shower wine thats how I did it. Same with using a bottle instead of a can for beer. Outrail posted:Not safe man. Smashed glass in your foot before work would suck rear end. And the alcohol would make it bleed worse. Subjunctive posted:If you're having enough booze before work to materially affect how quickly you bleed, you're probably better off calling in sick anyway. Solice Kirsk posted:A chunk of glass in my foot would prompt me to call in anyways. A quick picture of my gross bleeding foot so I can let my boss see the "proof" that I stepped on my razor and it's a day of Bloodborne and junk food for me. Snapchat A Titty posted:Why even have a gallon of wine & shards of broken glass in your shower if you aren't gonna call in sick? That's the best part! Big Centipede posted:I hate when the shower gets my burrito all soggy Solice Kirsk posted:Keep it wrapped in the foil except for the little bit you're eating and shower with your back to the shower head. This is like Bachelor Shower 101 stuff. mind the walrus posted:Use the driest part of the tile, guacamole, and your finger to figure out opitmal burrito/water stream placement. So carry on, you decadent and filthy singletons: post your shameful and/or efficient tips and tricks. These are not Stupid Lifehacks; these are actually things you do, or would do if loneliness hadn't sanded down what's left of your dignity and decency. (Also, jokes.)
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Oct 14, 2016 12:06
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Use mayonaise instead of butter on the outside of your bread when making toasted sandwiches
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Nov 11, 2016 03:54
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poo poo on the floor and tell me I'm pretty
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Nov 12, 2016 20:19
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I eat mainly protein bars, and vitamine tablets & omega 3. Saves a lot of time on cooking and retarded stuff like that.
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Nov 12, 2016 21:11
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Enemy Ace posted:I eat mainly protein bars, and vitamine tablets & omega 3. Still better than Soylent.
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Nov 12, 2016 21:59
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you can save a lot of time by leaving garbage on the floor instead of taking it to the trash cans like a chump.
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Nov 12, 2016 22:58
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Schneider Inside Her posted:Use mayonaise instead of butter on the outside of your bread when making toasted sandwiches I've actually heard of doing this legitimately and it makes abstract sense since mayo should basically be mostly egg, but I've never felt gross or high enough to actually try it
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Dec 15, 2016 04:27
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Enemy Ace posted:I eat mainly protein bars, and vitamine tablets & omega 3. This but I supplement with hot pockets.
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Dec 16, 2016 05:34
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Sentient Data posted:I've actually heard of doing this legitimately and it makes abstract sense since mayo should basically be mostly egg, but I've never felt gross or high enough to actually try it It just acts as a fat but it easier to spread than butter, adds a little bit of sweetness and toasts up better cos of the sugar content. I was sceptical too but it's the way. Also obv put the cheese side of the bread down first so it melts more
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Dec 16, 2016 14:54
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Always have rice in the house, and bread, and pasta.
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Dec 22, 2016 23:48
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Sentient Data posted:I've actually heard of doing this legitimately and it makes abstract sense since mayo should basically be mostly egg, but I've never felt gross or high enough to actually try it yeah it's egg and oil so technically it should work but really? really?
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Dec 23, 2016 00:15
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It works super well and it's one of the only justifications for the existence of mayonnaise.
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Dec 23, 2016 00:17
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Save time by peeing in the sink when you brush your teeth. The base in the urine will also clean the sink!
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Dec 23, 2016 00:17
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Wait for your local pizza bar to have a special and buy like 4 large pizzas for $20. Separate them into sets of four slices, wrap the sets of four slices in foil, and fill your entire loving freezer. Voila, you now have lunch every weekend for a month.
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Dec 23, 2016 01:32
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If you use makeup removal wipes or a cotton square with liquid, after you clean your face swab out the bathtub/shower a little bit with it. The makeup remover cuts oil and grime on your face, and will also clean up your tub. When you make a casserole, freeze 75% of it so you don't get sick of eating it or it spoils in the fridge. Oxyclean in your sink drain or dishwasher makes it stop smelling gross. If there's a hair clog in your shower drain grating, light a match or a cotton swab and stick it down there when the drain is dry.
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Dec 23, 2016 02:33
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 My Drill press makes an amazing stand mixer.
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Dec 25, 2016 08:18
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Schneider Inside Her posted:Use mayonaise instead of butter on the outside of your bread when making toasted sandwiches This is how most diner's make their grilled cheese sandwiches. So if you've ever been wondering how to achieve that perfect golden crispy "diner look" for your grilled cheeses that's how. It's also how we crisped the buns for hamburgers when I worked at a ballpark. The fact that it contains the eggs, a high smoke point oil and can be applied extremely thin makes it an incredible tool for frying bread.
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Dec 25, 2016 08:55
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Make rice, then crack an uncooked egg into it. Top with a few dashes of soy sauce, sprinkle with salt and sesame seeds (and if you wanna get nuts, some Sriracha). Welcome to your new breakfast porridge, you slovenly gently caress.
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Dec 25, 2016 16:38
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Combine doxylamine and alcohol for a foolproof night's sleep every night.
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Dec 25, 2016 18:00
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Pro-tip: Eke out a base existence crawling around in your own filth acting on every desire like the dirty brutish animal you are.
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Dec 25, 2016 22:26
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FreudianSlippers posted:Pro-tip: I was just gonna post exactly this. As a lonely person I dont need to use much of the space available, only enough to toss and turn in my sleep and dream of a better existence. So what he said.
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Dec 25, 2016 22:45
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I used to work from home and used a futon as a desk chair so I could nap between calls. Also, the pizza place down the street from me had two-for-Tuesday, or as I liked to call it "groceries for the week".
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Dec 25, 2016 22:50
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Applesnots posted:
Delivers 10 times the torque too Me? I make my taffy with A LATHE
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Dec 25, 2016 23:45
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1redflag posted:Make rice, then crack an uncooked egg into it. Top with a few dashes of soy sauce, sprinkle with salt and sesame seeds (and if you wanna get nuts, some Sriracha). Welcome to your new breakfast porridge, you slovenly gently caress. Poor cereal into a bowl, dish or plastic container. If you want to get fancy, add milk. If you've got no spoons, a fork will do and you can drink the milk straight from the bowl at the end.
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Dec 26, 2016 03:40
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Ew, gross.
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Dec 26, 2016 04:15
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Applesnots posted:
That cake is either smooth as silk or a smeared mess all over the walls. Either way, results are amazing.
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Dec 26, 2016 09:22
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Save money on tissue paper by masturbating at your workplace!
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Dec 26, 2016 18:03
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Intoluene posted:That cake is either smooth as silk or a smeared mess all over the walls. Either way, results are amazing. It was badass.
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Dec 27, 2016 02:37
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trad bachelorism is booze but the secret technique is mainlining 7 cups of caffiene a day while you wonder about learning to sew so you can make a battle jacket
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Dec 27, 2016 05:26
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Mameluke posted:Save money on tissue paper by masturbating at your workplace! Once you've finished, take the remaining TP off the roll and take it home with you.
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Dec 27, 2016 05:36
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My bathroom is opposite my living room. I can leave the doors open and watch TV while I take a dump.
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Jan 6, 2017 13:53
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bitterandtwisted posted:My bathroom is opposite my living room. I can leave the doors open and watch TV while I take a dump. Hell yeah! Small place-t.v.watchingwhiletakingadump buddy!! My place just happens to be ideal enough that if I look in the mirror over the sink I can watch while I take a leak too. Countdown until someone posts that they have a bucket right by their couch/beanbag chair/milkcrate throne.. Also: If your shower curtain annoyingly attacks you when you're showering, spray the outer side of it with water, as well as the part of the tub it lays against. Once you get in the shower, use the water to lay it flat against the tub edge. This is for if you've got a vinyl shower curtain, cloth ones you can just spray once you've gotten in the shower and the same poo poo happens.
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Feb 28, 2017 05:27
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slickmcburney posted:Also: If your shower curtain annoyingly attacks you when you're showering, spray the outer side of it with water, as well as the part of the tub it lays against. Once you get in the shower, use the water to lay it flat against the tub edge. This is for if you've got a vinyl shower curtain, cloth ones you can just spray once you've gotten in the shower and the same poo poo happens.
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Feb 28, 2017 05:42
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Always make your bed and tidy your room up a bit before you go out so if you end up bringing somebody home it won't look like you live in a disgusting hovel. If you can only keep one part of your bachelor hovel clean make it the bathroom. Clean your toilet and mop / vacuum the floor once a week and spray a bit of bleach in the bathtub or shower every now and then. If you're planning on drinking heavily make food beforehand that you can eat when your shitfaced. Drunk you will appreciate the forethought. Put some art on the walls of your hovel. Actual art, not movie posters or video game poo poo. Drink the best booze you can afford but learn to eat cheaply (there's a thread in GWS for this). Don't buy home-brand toiletries, they never work as well as the name-brand stuff.
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Feb 28, 2017 08:04
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cyberia posted:If you're planning on drinking heavily make food beforehand that you can eat when your shitfaced. Drunk you will appreciate the forethought. cyberia posted:Drink the best booze you can afford but learn to eat cheaply
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Feb 28, 2017 08:48
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Tiggum posted:The opposite of this. I mean, you can buy cheap food as long as it's still good, but a few glasses in you're not going to care whether you're drinking a $60 bottle of wine or a $10 cask. If you're worried about the first few drinks, buy something nice to start on and something cheap to continue with. Drink terrible booze until you develop a taste for it.
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Feb 28, 2017 08:52
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Drink terrible booze until you develop a taste for it. I mean.... This. But there are wonderful economic choices for the drunk on the go. But, If I am having a loving steak. I want a quality bottle of wine. Just me.
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Feb 28, 2017 09:11
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VendaGoat posted:
Look at rich Uncle Moneybags over here.
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Feb 28, 2017 11:00
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Grind up oxycontin to clean your house it's more powerful than oxyclean just a little more expensive down the road.
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Feb 28, 2017 12:24
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| # ? May 4, 2024 15:32 |
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whiteyfats posted:Look at rich Uncle Moneybags over here. My bidet sprays champagne.
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Feb 28, 2017 20:55
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