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The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > Winner of the Twisted Metal tournament
 
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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

 Me (extremely smart STEM-style person even though I have an English MFA): Hello Calypso. I have drafted a wish contract with no linguistic ambiguities, using my knowledge of the nature of wishes in fiction. The car that I drive is a Toyota Camry with guns on it, and my name is just my IRL name (Eric).

Calypso: drat. I respect that, even though I'm evil. Okay, Eric, here is your prize: exactly everything you wanted.

Me: Thank you, Calypso.

* # ¿ Oct 25, 2016 15:55
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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

no they will not posted:

Twisted Metal 1: You wish you were the "biggest thing in the world"? Well, that obviously refers to fame. Your wish is granted, and have a wonderful day.
Twisted Metal 2 onward: [flipping through etymology book] you wished for a cup. the word "cup" derives from the old Frisian "kopp", meaning "head". So here you go - a severed HUMAN head! The head - of your SON!
* # ¿ Oct 25, 2016 16:06
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The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > Winner of the Twisted Metal tournament