Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Any animal that has the nerve to attack a human needs it's head crushed. Don't let that snake bully you OP. Kill it and you'll have 20 sins forgiven

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
Most cities have laws against discharging a firearm, don't know where you live but that birdshot is probably off the table.

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe
Don't thread on snek.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
I'm not adverse to removing, permanently if need be, this snake. The real issue is finding the fucker in all that crap. Ive got a long piece of conduit I'll probably use to jab all around in there. Then I'll keep a shovel handy.

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



how about u adopt it and stop spreading hate

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Demonachizer posted:

Remember that time forums poster King of Bees died from a snakebite?

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


also, keep in mind snakes like to use their venom for diner time so if you get bit, with a cottonmouth it's probably a dry bite. go to the hospital anyway if that happens.

Bert Roberge
Nov 28, 2003

Fun fact, when you cut open a cottonmouth the blood smells like cucumbers.

But seriously you should take a shovel and cut the thing's head off unless you want a really nasty hospital visit or death.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

basic hitler posted:

also, keep in mind snakes like to use their venom for diner time so if you get bit, with a cottonmouth it's probably a dry bite. go to the hospital anyway if that happens.

I heard you're supposed to pee on the bite, c/d?

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
Why you just hit it with a shovel OP? Seems like a good w98 style shovel attack would take care of that gauche bush and also the snake

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008
Sorry but that's his jasmine now. You lost the war.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
It's clear from those pictures of his garden that he doesn't own a shovel or any other landscaping instrument.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

FedEx Mercury posted:

It's clear from those pictures of his garden that he doesn't own a shovel or any other landscaping instrument.

Quite. King of Bees can you answer for your crimes ITT?

I Said No
May 21, 2007

jesus dude ur gonna kill someone with that av
whatever you end up doing OP i guarantee it'll probably be a lot better than the rednecks who have giant snake killing festivals yearly

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

King of Bees posted:

I heard you're supposed to pee on the bite, c/d?

Preemptive move. Pee on the snake. Neutralize the venom and show dominance

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


Captain Yossarian posted:

Quite. King of Bees can you answer for your crimes ITT?

I mean he's trying to make an effort so I can cut him some slack. I figure his yard would look better if it wasn't infested with deadly vipers.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Tom Gorman posted:

I mean he's trying to make an effort so I can cut him some slack. I figure his yard would look better if it wasn't infested with deadly vipers.

Maybe... Also that hurricane situation but let's not mince words here, "king" here really has a lot of issues and I think we should tell the HOA

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Get one of these OP and it will do the snake killing for you. Then you have a cool furry pet instead of some evolutionary primitive who can't even make milk. Mammals 4 ever !

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
Anyone have a pike I can borrow? This snake can be a warning to others when I'm finished with it.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Captain Yossarian posted:

Maybe... Also that hurricane situation but let's not mince words here, "king" here really has a lot of issues and I think we should tell the HOA

God please no! It's the backyard, it's out of sight! Front yard looks great I swear.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

King of Bees posted:

God please no! It's the backyard, it's out of sight! Front yard looks great I swear.

I like the pike idea so I think we're all good here... for now :grin:

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

King of Bees posted:

God please no! It's the backyard, it's out of sight! Front yard looks great I swear.

Preemptive move. Pee on the hoa board.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

King of Bees posted:

Anyone have a pike I can borrow? This snake can be a warning to others when I'm finished with it.

When you go to Home Depot to get a shovel you can pick up some dowel stock that makes great pikes.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Believe In Yrself Betty posted:

Preemptive move. Pee on the hoa board.

Should I bring a pike to the hoa board too?

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

FedEx Mercury posted:

When you go to Home Depot to get a shovel you can pick up some dowel stock that makes great pikes.

Ahem...I actually own two shovels. :smuggo:

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

Start carrying a pike everywhere you go.

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008
Tape the shovels together to make a double ended shovel and watch Star Wars The Phantom Menace (skip to the boss battle) until you're confident you have enough moves memorized to engage the snek.

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

King of Bees posted:

Ahem...I actually own two shovels. :smuggo:

Then how the hell did the snake win round 1?

They don't even have arms.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Frankenstyle posted:

Then how the hell did the snake win round 1?

They don't even have arms.

Shock and awe and the cover of darkness.

cnut
May 3, 2016

Lot's of good ideas itt, but I think you should still burn it down, op.

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
Just beware that once you get rid of cottonmouth, you'll trigger the wrath of diamondback. You might also want to keep an eye out for shades, he's a bit shady.

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
Just get a tiller and take care of everything at once

Lodin
Jul 31, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
Remember that time forums poster King of Bees died from a snakebite and then the snake stuck his head on a pike?

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k
I have mulching blades on my lawn tractor. :black101:

But I'd still need to get those branches and poo poo out of there first.

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

Lodin posted:

Remember that time forums poster King of Bees died from a snakebite and then the snake stuck his head on a pike?

Lol

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

FlimFlam Imam posted:

Just beware that once you get rid of cottonmouth

Cottonmouth should have had a ginger sidekick called Copperhead.

Bert Roberge
Nov 28, 2003

Cottonmouth musk smells like cucumbers.

They have musk glands near their cloaca.

You know what you need to do.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
chop it in half with a long sword imo

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

OP have you knobbed that goddamn snake yet

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012
Gravy Boat 2k

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

OP have you knobbed that goddamn snake yet

No I'm at work. And I'm still soliciting for more ideas.

  • Locked thread