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Any animal that has the nerve to attack a human needs it's head crushed. Don't let that snake bully you OP. Kill it and you'll have 20 sins forgiven
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Oct 28, 2016 15:10
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Most cities have laws against discharging a firearm, don't know where you live but that birdshot is probably off the table.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:11
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Don't thread on snek.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:27
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I'm not adverse to removing, permanently if need be, this snake. The real issue is finding the fucker in all that crap. Ive got a long piece of conduit I'll probably use to jab all around in there. Then I'll keep a shovel handy.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:36
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how about u adopt it and stop spreading hate
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Oct 28, 2016 15:36
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Demonachizer posted:Remember that time forums poster King of Bees died from a snakebite?
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Oct 28, 2016 15:37
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also, keep in mind snakes like to use their venom for diner time so if you get bit, with a cottonmouth it's probably a dry bite. go to the hospital anyway if that happens.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:38
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Fun fact, when you cut open a cottonmouth the blood smells like cucumbers. But seriously you should take a shovel and cut the thing's head off unless you want a really nasty hospital visit or death.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:42
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basic hitler posted:also, keep in mind snakes like to use their venom for diner time so if you get bit, with a cottonmouth it's probably a dry bite. go to the hospital anyway if that happens. I heard you're supposed to pee on the bite, c/d?
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Oct 28, 2016 15:46
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Why you just hit it with a shovel OP? Seems like a good w98 style shovel attack would take care of that gauche bush and also the snake
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Oct 28, 2016 15:53
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Sorry but that's his jasmine now. You lost the war.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:53
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It's clear from those pictures of his garden that he doesn't own a shovel or any other landscaping instrument.
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Oct 28, 2016 15:54
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FedEx Mercury posted:It's clear from those pictures of his garden that he doesn't own a shovel or any other landscaping instrument. Quite. King of Bees can you answer for your crimes ITT?
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Oct 28, 2016 15:55
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whatever you end up doing OP i guarantee it'll probably be a lot better than the rednecks who have giant snake killing festivals yearly
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Oct 28, 2016 15:58
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King of Bees posted:I heard you're supposed to pee on the bite, c/d? Preemptive move. Pee on the snake. Neutralize the venom and show dominance
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Oct 28, 2016 15:59
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Captain Yossarian posted:Quite. King of Bees can you answer for your crimes ITT? I mean he's trying to make an effort so I can cut him some slack. I figure his yard would look better if it wasn't infested with deadly vipers.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:03
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Tom Gorman posted:I mean he's trying to make an effort so I can cut him some slack. I figure his yard would look better if it wasn't infested with deadly vipers. Maybe... Also that hurricane situation but let's not mince words here, "king" here really has a lot of issues and I think we should tell the HOA
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Oct 28, 2016 16:05
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Get one of these OP and it will do the snake killing for you. Then you have a cool furry pet instead of some evolutionary primitive who can't even make milk. Mammals 4 ever ! 
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Oct 28, 2016 16:07
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Anyone have a pike I can borrow? This snake can be a warning to others when I'm finished with it.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:09
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Captain Yossarian posted:Maybe... Also that hurricane situation but let's not mince words here, "king" here really has a lot of issues and I think we should tell the HOA God please no! It's the backyard, it's out of sight! Front yard looks great I swear.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:10
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King of Bees posted:God please no! It's the backyard, it's out of sight! Front yard looks great I swear. I like the pike idea so I think we're all good here... for now 
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Oct 28, 2016 16:13
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King of Bees posted:God please no! It's the backyard, it's out of sight! Front yard looks great I swear. Preemptive move. Pee on the hoa board.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:14
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King of Bees posted:Anyone have a pike I can borrow? This snake can be a warning to others when I'm finished with it. When you go to Home Depot to get a shovel you can pick up some dowel stock that makes great pikes.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:16
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Believe In Yrself Betty posted:Preemptive move. Pee on the hoa board. Should I bring a pike to the hoa board too?
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Oct 28, 2016 16:19
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FedEx Mercury posted:When you go to Home Depot to get a shovel you can pick up some dowel stock that makes great pikes. Ahem...I actually own two shovels. 
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Oct 28, 2016 16:21
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Start carrying a pike everywhere you go.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:22
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Tape the shovels together to make a double ended shovel and watch Star Wars The Phantom Menace (skip to the boss battle) until you're confident you have enough moves memorized to engage the snek.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:25
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King of Bees posted:Ahem...I actually own two shovels. Then how the hell did the snake win round 1? They don't even have arms.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:26
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Frankenstyle posted:Then how the hell did the snake win round 1? Shock and awe and the cover of darkness.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:29
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Lot's of good ideas itt, but I think you should still burn it down, op.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:40
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Just beware that once you get rid of cottonmouth, you'll trigger the wrath of diamondback. You might also want to keep an eye out for shades, he's a bit shady.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:42
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Just get a tiller and take care of everything at once
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Oct 28, 2016 16:43
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Remember that time forums poster King of Bees died from a snakebite and then the snake stuck his head on a pike?
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Oct 28, 2016 16:43
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I have mulching blades on my lawn tractor.  But I'd still need to get those branches and poo poo out of there first.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:44
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Lodin posted:Remember that time forums poster King of Bees died from a snakebite and then the snake stuck his head on a pike? Lol
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Oct 28, 2016 16:45
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FlimFlam Imam posted:Just beware that once you get rid of cottonmouth Cottonmouth should have had a ginger sidekick called Copperhead.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:47
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Cottonmouth musk smells like cucumbers. They have musk glands near their cloaca. You know what you need to do.
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Oct 28, 2016 16:47
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chop it in half with a long sword imo
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Oct 28, 2016 17:11
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OP have you knobbed that goddamn snake yet
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Oct 28, 2016 17:13
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DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:OP have you knobbed that goddamn snake yet No I'm at work. And I'm still soliciting for more ideas.
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Oct 28, 2016 17:17
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