Sad, but in a sexual way

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FactsAreUseless

Feeling down, but in a way that makes me look good in dark colors and gives me the illusion of emotional depth. Ladies (women/females) desire me, because of the manner in which I've got the blues. Crying and jerking off, but in a way that the ladies (girls/gals) don't see, because I do that in my house and in public they only see my eyes which are sunken in a way that makes me look like I'm wearing eye shadow and my jacket which reminds them of what they've heard Joy Division described to be like.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 11:54

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# ? May 15, 2024 20:02

FactsAreUseless

Glum in the library, but conspicuously, sitting somewhere the boys can see me and see that I'm reading a sad but smart/sexy book, such as J.D. Salinger's "Catch Her In The Rye."

# ? Nov 4, 2016 11:59

social vegan

a frown but on a boobie

# ? Nov 4, 2016 12:17

Subjunctive: ✨sparkle and shine✨

that vulnerability can be really attractive unless you're a superhero and it's a vulnerability to like some kind of metal or fruit. who wants to deal with arch-nemeses interrupting every romantic moment with a hail of aluminium or a giant mango grenade?

# ? Nov 4, 2016 13:05

social vegan

me in bed

# ? Nov 4, 2016 13:21

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

I got a new vibrator. It's shaped like my abandoned hopes and dreams and it sounds like the wind whispering among ruined gravestones.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 14:02

FactsAreUseless

misty mountaintop posted:

I got a new vibrator. It's shaped like my abandoned hopes and dreams and it sounds like the wind whispering among ruined gravestones.

"Tonight, you will be visited by three ghosts."

"Like, one at a time, or all together? Because I've never done that."

# ? Nov 4, 2016 14:20

Manifisto

barry white covers radiohead

# ? Nov 4, 2016 14:26

social vegan

FactsAreUseless posted:

"Tonight, you will be visited by three ghosts."

"Like, one at a time, or all together? Because I've never done that."

# ? Nov 4, 2016 14:29

Manifisto

katy perry's breasts barely concealed by the fry's dog episode of futurama

# ? Nov 4, 2016 14:55

FutonForensic

Manifisto posted:

katy perry's breasts barely concealed by the fry's dog episode of futurama

lol

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:10

FactsAreUseless

Reading "Where The Red Fern Grows" while waiting for my date to arrive, so she'll see me reading it, and know that I am sensitive and can read at a fifth grade level. Later, I'll take the Accelerated Reader test by myself, without cheating.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:11

social vegan

FactsAreUseless posted:

Reading "Where The Red Fern Grows" while waiting for my date to arrive, so she'll see me reading it, and know that I am sensitive and can read at a fifth grade level. Later, I'll take the Accelerated Reader test by myself, without cheating.

is this a repost or am i finally a scientologist

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:12

FactsAreUseless

social vegan posted:

is this a repost or am i finally a scientologist

It's an original.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:13

social vegan

FactsAreUseless posted:

It's an original.

holy poo poo I just got the most hardcore deja vu ever, I promise I wasn't trying to disparage, it is also an excellent post

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:14

social vegan

FYI, the cubs will win the world series, which may be sad, and may be sexual, it depends on how you feel about balls

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:16

Gatekeeper: He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

this ain't the bridge to terabithia: a xxx parody

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:20

FactsAreUseless

Going to a party and switching the music on Rachel's phone to something with a piano in it, or the quiet kind of guitar - the ones that don't plug in - and everyone at the party is a little bit annoyed about it, but also a little bit moist/erect, because sometimes eroticism is about NOT getting what you want: a mix of high-energy indie rock from 2003-2008 that is good to listen to at parties.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:24

FactsAreUseless

Her: Do you like an intellectual hobby, such as books?

Me: I only read short fiction that ends in an ambiguously sad way, like you don't know for sure what's up but it sucks a little bit.

Her: My quivering flower opens itself to you, and also something is going on with my breasts.

Me [eyes bulging]: Wabba wa wa wa!

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:30

FactsAreUseless

Around me, women turn into the good kind of horny person, the kind who doesn't get horny in their body, but gets horny in their mind, because they respond to my emotions, which are melancholy (n.): an abnormal state attributed to an excess of black bile and characterized by irascibility or depression.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:33

Im Ready for DEATH

Im wracked with sobs at the death of a pet. My dog Giselle, been with me ever since I was in Pampers. Had the glaucoma, bad hip, bad kidneys. Took her to the vet. She licked my face as I hugged her. I think she knew it was time. I prayed with the vet when he was done with the needle. I don't think he was a religious dude but he still prayed with me. God I'm gonna miss you girl. Wait what was this thread about?

# ? Nov 4, 2016 15:38

Manifisto

for sale: baby shoes, midget porn

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:02

Death Bot: Binary killing machines, turning 1 into 0 since 0011000100111001 0011011100110110

Manifisto posted:

for sale: baby shoes, midget porn

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:07

City of Glompton

boys keep misconstruing my quiet contemplation of the heat death of the universe as mysterious and intriguing

I don't have the heart to tell them everything will dead someday

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:17

Manifisto

oo baby i want to tear that dress off you just like the matter of the universe, from stars and galaxies to atoms and subatomic particles, and even spacetime itself, will be progressively torn apart by the expansion of the universe

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:23

FactsAreUseless

Sobbing and thrusting.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:28

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I gaze wistfully into the distance, wishing I could look deeply into her eyes one last time while I masturbate.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 16:30

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Manifisto posted:

katy perry's breasts barely concealed by the fry's dog episode of futurama

ahahahahaaa

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Nov 4, 2016 17:09

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Manifisto posted:

for sale: baby shoes, midget porn

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Nov 4, 2016 17:10

Macnult

teasing her by doing that thing she likes, and tormenting myself as i remember what she liked

# ? Nov 4, 2016 17:18

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Carlie sat alone everyday when she ate lunch, it was senior year and all of the boys were still too scared to approach her because of her scanty goth clothing, piercings and tattoos. A tear glistened in her eye as she opened her Marley and Me lunchbox and took out her thermos.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 17:25

Macnult

her: i loooove artsy types. what do you say we put those strokes to a different use?

me:

# ? Nov 4, 2016 17:37

FactsAreUseless

Feelin' down and goin' down. Hell, that's just who I am.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 18:26

Fredflonston

Got kicked out of my house for failure to pay because I lost my job a couple months ago but I've already conditioned myself to habitually masturbate every Monday night before bed and yesterday was the sabbath so here we go.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 18:28