Space Race Riot posted:

Goons can relate to the first 2 lines, beyond that this tale may as well be set on the far side of Jupiter.

quote:

Till Eulenspiegel and the Innkeeper at Cologne:


Eulenspiegel journeyed to Cologne, where he stayed at an inn for two or three days without letting anyone know who he was. During this time he noticed that the innkeeper was a rogue, and he thought, "The guests will not be well off where the innkeeper is a rogue. You should find another place to stay."

That evening he told the innkeeper that he would be looking for another place to stay. The latter showed the other guests to their beds, but not Eulenspiegel, who then said, "Sir, I paid just as much for my lodging as the others did, but you showed them to their beds. Am I supposed to sleep here on this bench?"

The innkeeper said, "Look! Here is a pair of sheets!" and he let a fart. Then he let another one and said, "Look! This is your pillow!" Then for a third time he let one, until it stank, and he said, "Look! Now you have an entire bed! Use them until morning, and then lay them in a pile for me, so I can find everything together!"

Eulenspiegel said nothing, but thought, "Look! Take note that one rogue deserves another rogue." And that night he slept on the bench.

Now the innkeeper had a nice folding table. Eulenspiegel opened up the leaves, poo poo a large pile on the table, and then closed it up again. He got up early in the morning, went to the innkeeper's room and said, "Sir, I thank you for the night's lodging." Then letting a large fart, he said, "Those are the feathers from your bed. I laid the pillow, the sheets, and the covers all together in a pile."

The innkeeper said, "Sir, that is good. I will look after them as soon as I get up."

Eulenspiegel said, "Do that! Just look around. You'll find them all right!" And with that he left the inn.

The innkeeper expected many guests for the noon meal, and he said that they should eat at the nice folding table. When he opened up the table, an evil stink flew up his nose. Seeing the dung, he said, "He gives what was earned. He paid for a fart with poo poo."

Then the innkeeper sent for Eulenspiegel, because he wanted to get to know him better. Eulenspiegel did indeed come back, and he and the innkeeper appreciated one another's tricks so much, that from this time forth Eulenspiegel got a good bed.

Commie NedFlanders posted:

this kid just doesn't ever look where he's walking

Infidel Castro posted:

EorayMel posted:

You can read some here: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/12116/12116-h/12116-h.htm

Let's take a minute to image yourself as a child in mid 19th century Germany. What stories would your parents read to you to make you fall asleep? A story about a knight fighting dragons?

No. You would've been read stories about giant tailors chopping off your thumbs and getting blown away in a thunderstorm to never be seen again.

The origin of these stories is traced back to a man named Heinrich Hoffman. He wanted to buy his son a fairy tale book for Christmas, but could not find any he liked. So, Heinrich Hoffman made his own!

I wonder if Hitler was read any of these stories as a child...

Here's one most goons can identify with!

qkkl posted:

Are there fairy tales where a character is Jewish? I read that Germans were obsessed with all things Jew in the late 1800s.

Space Race Riot posted:

Goons can relate to the first 2 lines, beyond that this tale may as well be set on the far side of Jupiter.

Mosch posted:

Infidel Castro posted:

Mosch posted:

I remember reading a fairy tale about Abner, the Jew who did not see anything. Abner was going for a walk when he met the king's stablemaster, who asks him if he has seen a horse. Abner describes the horse, and the stablemaster confirms that this would be the horse he's looking for. However, Abner claims he didn't see the horse. Before he can say anything else, a scullery maid comes by and asks if he has seen the king's favourite dog. Abner accurately describes the dog, then claims he did not see it. He gets dragged before the king and is whipped and fined for making fun of the king's property, then explains he guessed how the dog and horse looked by looking at their tracks. He is released and once again goes for a walk. Yet again he meets the king's men who ask him if he has seen an escaped slave. He denies it, and they ask if he can read the tracks. He denies it again. The soldiers are angry now and demand he reads the tracks. In his fear he guesses a direction at random, which turns out to be wrong. The slave escapes and Abner is whipped and fined again.

Yeah. Not sure what this story was supposed to teach me.

My grandmother often read the Struwwelpeter stories to me. I remember having a fondness for Die Geschichte von den schwarzen Buben (the story of the black boy). Some white boys make fun of a black boy. Saint Nicholas doesn't like that and dunks them into his ink jar. Now everyone is black. The end.
I was easily entertained as a child.

qkkl posted:

Are there fairy tales where a character is Jewish?

Infidel Castro posted:

Schurik posted:

I probably sucked on my thumb as long as I did just to defy this loving guy




"Hilf mir" by Rammstein is based on this and is a cool song if you like Rammstein, which you probably don't.

quote:

One time the little hen and the little rooster went to Nut Mountain, and they agreed that whoever would find a nut would share it with the other one. Now the little hen found a large, large nut, but -- wanting to eat the kernal by herself -- she said nothing about it. However, the kernal was so thick that she could not swallow it down. It got stuck in her throat, and fearing that she would choke to death, she cried out, "Little Rooster, I beg you to run as fast as you can to the well and get me some water, or else I'll choke to death."

The little rooster ran to the well as fast as he could, and said, "Well, give me some water, for the little hen is lying on Nut Mountain. She swallowed a large nut kernal and is about to choke to death on it."

The well answered, "First run to the bride, and get some red silk from her."

The little rooster ran to the bride: "Bride, give me some red silk, and I'll give the red silk to the well, and the well will give me some water, and I'll take the water to the little hen who is lying on Nut Mountain. She swallowed a large nut kernal and is about to choke to death on it."

The bride answered, "First run and get my wreath. It got caught on a willow branch."

So the little rooster ran to the willow and pulled the wreath from its branch and took it to the bride, and the bride gave him some red silk, which he took to the well, which gave him some water, and the little rooster took the water to the little hen, but when he arrived, she had already choked to death, and she lay there dead, and did not move at all.

The little rooster was so sad that he cried aloud, and all the animals came to mourn for the little hen. Six mice built a small carriage which was to carry the little hen to her grave. When the carriage was finished, they hitched themselves to it, and the little rooster drove. On the way they met the fox.

"Where are you going, little rooster?"

"I'm going to bury my little hen."

"May I ride along?"

"Yes, but you must sit at the rear, because my little horses don't like you too close to the front."

So he sat at the rear, and then the wolf, the bear, the elk, the lion, and all the animals in the forest. They rode on until they came to a brook. "How can we get across?" said the little rooster.

A straw was lying there next to the brook, and he said, "I'll lay myself across, and you can drive over me." But just as the six mice got onto the straw, it slipped into the water, and the six mice all fell in and drowned.

They did not know what to do, until a coal came and said, "I am large enough. I will lay myself across and you can drive over me." So the coal laid itself across the water, but unfortunately it touched the water, hissed, and went out; and it was dead.

A stone saw this happen, and wanting to help the little rooster, it laid itself across the water. The little rooster pulled the carriage himself. He nearly reached the other side with the dead little hen, but there were too many others seated on the back of the carriage, and the carriage rolled back, and they all fell into the water and drowned.

Now the little rooster was all alone with the dead little hen. He dug a grave for her and laid her inside. Then he made a mound on top, and sat on it, and grieved there so long that he too died. And then everyone was dead.

Mosch posted:

My grandmother often read the Struwwelpeter stories to me. I remember having a fondness for Die Geschichte von den schwarzen Buben (the story of the black boy). Some white boys make fun of a black boy. Saint Nicholas doesn't like that and dunks them into his ink jar. Now everyone is black. The end.
I was easily entertained as a child.

caps on caps on caps posted:

Ahh we had this exact book at my grandmothers house. She would read it for me and we looked at the picture.
I was dead scared of that scissor guy, it still gives me the creeps.
Yes my grandmom was German.


Edit: I got soooo mad at this Frederick guy

super sweet best pal posted:

"Don't be racist or some big guy will gently caress you up." A good moral.

Infidel Castro posted:

Three-Phase posted:

Some of those early matches burned pretty violently and erratically.

Infidel Castro posted:

It didn't help that 19th century clothing was made out of kerosene-soaked fibres too.

Infidel Castro posted:

A Strange Aeon posted:

Anyone have this one in English?

fognl posted:

Here is a good Germanic tale that may be more relatable to goons

quote:

One day, Mamma said, "Conrad dear,
I must go out and leave you here.
But mind now, Conrad, what I say,
Don't suck your thumb while I'm away.
The great tall tailor always comes
To little boys that suck their thumbs.
And ere they dream what he's about
He takes his great sharp scissors
And cuts their thumbs clean off, - and then
You know, they never grow again."


Mamma had scarcely turn'd her back,
The thumb was in, alack! alack!


The door flew open, in he ran,
The great, long, red-legged scissorman.
Oh! children, see! the tailor's come
And caught our little Suck-a-Thumb.


Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast;
That both his thumbs are off at last.
Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;-
"Ah!" said Mamma "I knew he'd come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb."

Commie NedFlanders posted:

i've been using the term Feuerzeug to refer to a lighter for a long time, how foolish do i look?

qkkl posted:

Are there fairy tales where a character is Jewish? I read that Germans were obsessed with all things Jew in the late 1800s.