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SuperiorColliculus posted:A) have an endgame. This is critical. Have a timeframe/exit plan on the distance closing. These are pretty solid rules. Having done one for three years (My wife and I met in Japan, I came back to the UK after a year and she stayed until she could join me due to some incredibly restrictive Visa requirements.) I can assure you that trust is the most important aspect without complete trust in your other half everything WILL go south at some point or another. However, its also worth mentioning that if you're going to embark on one, there is an uncomfortable truths that you'll have to confront. Apologies if this gets a little blunt, but having been there I'd rather not sugar coat it. Your relationship will probably not work. This is the most important thing to bear in mind. The majority of Long Distance Relationships, (particularly those that last over a year) don't work out. Mine did, but the odds stacked against it were incredibly high and I'm incredibly lucky. It'll depend largely on the personalities involved and how secure you feel about yourself as well. If you're the type of person who is easilly made jealous, envious or easily suspicious a LDR may not be the thing for you. By all means try your best to keep things going, but understand that it can fail and often for really trivial reasons. There can be no secrets. At All. Also another important thing that everyone forgets, as you're both international, find out the Visa requirements for both Canada and the UK. Find the ones you'll be eligable for and the requirements for each. (From personal experience the UK ones are incredibly difficult.) To bring my wife over on a UK Fiancee visa I got a number of IT qualifications, got an IT job, moved to London and then moved outside London. All to satisfy the income and housing requirements of the Visa. If you or your partner are unwilling to fufil the visa requirements you're going to have to cut the whole thing off in order to keep your sanity. Finally, and this is the most important one, make sure you're mentally prepared for it. Because communication is usually sparse you feelings will be affected far more often, and much more intensely that in a regular relationship. If your partner is angry at you and will be unable to talk to you for two days will you be OK with that? Or will you spend those two days constantly stressed and worried? Unlike almost any other relationship "talking it out" will become much more difficult and you will find that small issues may become much larger ones purely because you can't just talk to each other. If there is the smallest of silver linings, if it does all work out, your relationship will potentially be stronger as a result. But the odds are not in your favour. However, knowing that should take some of the pressure off. (Also, Skype sex, while not as fun as regular sex should be attempted. Its the closest you'll get to some form of intimacy outside of you visiting each other. So take advantage of it. Or, if you feel you can, do the open relationship thing, but that will require much more trust and the ability not to ask questions.)
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Nov 17, 2016 17:48
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 05:39 |
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