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I know the whole country is tuning into this year's edition of the Greatest Rivalry in American Sports, the Land of Lincoln rivalry between the Mighty Wildcat of Northwestern versus the Weak, Sad-Sack Illini of Illinois.  History of the Rivalry The game, contested often between the second and third-best Illinois college football teams is a classic contest between historical Big Ten powerhouses. The teams used to play for a cigar store Indian and then a tomahawk but that was changed at the same time the NCAA banned Illinois from dressing some frat boy up in buckskin and have him prance around. But going all the way back to 2009, the schools handed down a far superior tradition, the passing of Abraham Lincoln's Hat (or The Hat, as it as known in Illinois, where this will be all people talk about this week). Is this a cool hat trophy that coaches can put on their heads after winning and make really dumb Abraham Lincoln references? No. You churl. You loving dipshit. It's mounted on a base so it can be sort of held up and looked at. Who Has The Hat? The Hat currently remains in the possession of the Valiant Northwestern Wildcatmen who trounced the pathetic Illini at Soldier Field last year. The Illini, in a desperate gambit to pretend to be Chicago's Big Ten Team That Doesn't Technically Play In Chicago decided to play there and it turned on them. Witness the tens of passionate fans from both fanbases who turned out on a miserable day to watch the two teams battle to the death for the honor of hoisting the trophy.  What is at stake? First of all, the Hat, the greatest prize in Illinois-based Big Ten college football. Nothing else needs to be said. You can throw out the record books. THROW THEM OUT. This year, there are a few things at stake. Northwestern is playing for the elusive sixth win to qualify them for a POTENTIAL DETROIT BOWL BERTH. Even if they lose, though, they might be able to sneak in as a five-win team, which would actually be Northwestern as gently caress and I'd be sort of rooting for it if it didn't mean losing the Hat Game. Illinois is trying to win a football game or at the very least score a point this week. Finally, there is, as already noted, the vital distinction of determining the true Chicago's Big Ten Team. Northwestern already has a leg up in the battle by owning billboards that say that. Illinois tried to counter with billboards about being the state's team, but that is the acme of foolishness. Both teams need this win in order to get a leg up for the three awful dudes from Chicago that will be on these teams in the near future while anyone any good goes to an actual football program. Who Are Important Hat People I, A Person New to this August Rivalry, Know? The Fighting Wildcats are coached by Pat Fitzgerald, the former Northwestern superstar linebacker who basically just yells a lot and makes dumb faces on the sidelines and wins about 6 games a year which makes him the greatest coach in school history. Illinois's coach is Lovie Smith, best known for patiently sending Rex Grossman out to throw 900 interceptions every week. He replaces Illinois's former coach Bill Cubit, axed after being given a two-year contract after replacing Tim Beckman, the most maniacal coach in the history of this rivalry. Tim Beckman really elevated this rivalry to the next level by filling the Illinois locker room with Shameful and Offensive anti-Northwestern propaganda such as this sign:  Tim Beckman was fired for abusing players. One of the allegations (I swear I am not making this up) involved making injured players wear purple vests to signal that they are Weak Wildcats, the colors of his hated rival. He also didn't believe in hamstring injuries and was basically a maniac, but know this: Tim Beckman ruled. For the All-Star Northwestern Wildcat, the players to know are: Quarterback Clayton Thorson, who is Occasionally Ok; Justin Jackson The Ball Carrier, one of the best RBs in the Big Ten, especially considering Northwestern's god-awful offensive line; and Austin Carr, a former walk-on who is the best receiver I've ever seen this year and single-handedly won Northwestern most of its games and probably is out with a concussion in the Hat Game because of Minneosta headhunting, those fuckers. For the Feeble, Pathetic Illini, they will start either Wes Lunt or Literally Jeff George Junior and they probably have other players on their team but they will all be piles of tears and ligaments when the Wildcats are finished with them and hoisting their trophy. What Are Some Notable Hat Games The Hat Game, for all its trappings has never decided a Big Ten Championship. The 2010 game enticed ESPN College Game Day because it was played at Wrigley Field, and famously only used one endzone because they decdied that having and endzone blockaded by a brick outfield wall would be bad. Illinois won that game, the most important victory of Ron Zook's career. The greatest Illinois-Northwestern game was two years ago when both teams were 5-6 and playing a Bowl Elimination Game, which is probably the platonic ideal of a Hat Game. Unfortunately, NFL Superstar Quarterback Trevor Siemian had injured his knee against Purdue, and Northwestern lost because the backup turned the ball over on four consecutive possessions and forced Northwestern to reckon with the indignity of seeing Hated Rival Tim Beckman hoist the Hat at Ryan Field. The Illini, basking in triumph, lost the Heart of Dallas Bowl to Conference USA's Louisiana Tech.  Please use this thread to prevent Hat Chat from overwhelming the N/V thread and posting your Hat Game observations.
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Nov 20, 2016 23:18
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 19:57 |
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If a coach brings a chainsaw to the game can they cut the stupid base off The Hat and wear The Hat as God intended?
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Nov 20, 2016 23:27
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I like hats, i have several hats
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Nov 20, 2016 23:32
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The Illini just lost a game yesterday where they did not kick the ball off once.
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Nov 20, 2016 23:33
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Western Michigan won the hat already so should i close this thread?
MourningView fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Nov 21, 2016 |
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Nov 21, 2016 00:07
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I was at that game two years ago to see my Illini claim the hat. my wife refused to attend, claiming that her alma mater had an in state rivalry game as well, coincidentally between a public and private school, one of which wore orange and blue. but no one cared about a game played over a scrap of metal, they cared about the Hat! and as a proud Evanston resident whose son will one day play for the local WildKits team (also wearing orange and blue) I'm making sure my spawn will be dressed in his chief Illini (banned like all dangerously powerful icons of legend) onesie
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Nov 21, 2016 01:45
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Hat Fitzgerald E: this is also the funniest drat OP I have read in quite a while DJExile fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Nov 21, 2016 |
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Nov 21, 2016 02:14
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Im Dick Loeber
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Nov 21, 2016 02:26
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Can anyone post some pictures of the correct hat please
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Nov 21, 2016 02:30
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MourningView posted:Western Michigan won the hat already so should i close this thread? you should pin this thread, imo
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Nov 21, 2016 02:49
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Athanatos posted:The Illini just lost a game yesterday where they did not kick the ball off once. Not even start of either half? How does that happen?
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Nov 21, 2016 03:37
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got any sevens posted:Not even start of either half? How does that happen? Iowa took the wind instead of deferring to the second half after winning the toss. Then Illinois never scored.
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Nov 21, 2016 03:41
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this is the hat they play for, modeled by Tim Beckman current coach of Illinois
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Nov 21, 2016 04:21
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Grittybeard posted:.......then Illinois never scored. This is like the story of the past Illini decade
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Nov 21, 2016 04:24
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Grittybeard posted:Iowa took the wind instead of deferring to the second half after winning the toss. Then Illinois never scored. No Illinois won and deferred so the choice went to Iowa and instead of taking the ball someone hosed up and took the wind. It wound up not mattering and being very funny though so good job by him E: nope actually you were right. they did it on purpose because they were freaked out by the wind. Lol godammit Kirk MourningView fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Nov 21, 2016 |
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Nov 21, 2016 06:52
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You're all just jealous of the Illini having a cool stat
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Nov 21, 2016 22:03
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mastershakeman posted:You're all just jealous of the Wildcat having a cool hat
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Nov 22, 2016 01:44
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Is it true that Northwesterners once, in a fit of rivalry, stole Illinois's mascot, the surviving members of the Illini tribes, and due to a mishap with the Wildcat's mascot Northwestern had buy Illinois, as replacement mascot, the Chickasaw?
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Nov 22, 2016 02:01
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rumor has it that the entirety of the bears front office will be at this game this weekend to scope out talent and determine who they want to draft in the first round.
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Nov 22, 2016 04:36
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bumping this with the greatest play in the history of the Hat Game, Tim Beckman getting owned by a ref and flagged for sideline interference for getting owned
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Nov 25, 2016 04:51
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NO LOVE LOST https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X89Nwuu-fZ4
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Nov 25, 2016 04:52
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I like how he looked around right before, then did it anyway while a ref was right there
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Nov 25, 2016 04:58
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Austin Carr will play tomorrow. He is having probably the greatest individual season a Northwestern receiver has ever had and he's a finalist for the Biletnikoff Award and he's a former walk-on running back with 30 career catches before this year.
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Nov 26, 2016 02:58
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Wrigleyville's going to be crazy tomorrow. All the crazy fans, the fights, total madhouse.
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Nov 26, 2016 03:57
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The X-man cometh posted:Wrigleyville's going to be crazy tomorrow. All the crazy fans, the fights, total madhouse. please stay safe out there, the people who go out in the rowdy Hat Game crowds
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Nov 26, 2016 04:08
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im flattered
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Nov 26, 2016 06:12
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Hat day, chumps
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Nov 26, 2016 16:49
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I;m thinking about that Hat
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Nov 26, 2016 16:55
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Same
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Nov 26, 2016 17:31
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If they let the Illini score it should be a Loss
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Nov 26, 2016 18:55
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Northwestern is dominating, keeping up the standards of this classic match-up. The bars are packed, but almost all of the tvs are tuned to some lame game in Ohio.
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Nov 26, 2016 19:01
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Hats dont exist in Ohio, it is an inferior state
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Nov 26, 2016 19:27
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isn't Lincoln from Kentucky?
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Nov 26, 2016 20:00
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Hat
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Nov 26, 2016 20:10
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Kentucky is a weak basketball state.
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Nov 26, 2016 20:22
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Molothecat posted:isn't Lincoln from Kentucky? Born in KY, grew up in IN, adult and political life in IL.
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Nov 26, 2016 21:15
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I can't believe the Illini blew this. what the gently caress
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Nov 26, 2016 21:19
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Hat
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Nov 26, 2016 21:31
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I'm in tears. The hat is coming home baby
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Nov 26, 2016 21:32
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 19:57 |
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Home is Evanston, Illinois, the place where Chicago's Big Ten Team is famously located
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Nov 26, 2016 21:33
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