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getting my titty squashed between two giant radioactive plates? why not just press it in the pages of a book, as one would a delicate desert rose
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Nov 28, 2016 19:20
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Apr 29, 2024 08:45
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- Android Blues
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tfw when youre at the mammogram shop and the doctor needs to really pinch your boob to get it to go between the plates, and the lady in the leaflet has these huge honkers, and youre like "man, some people have all the luck at being squashed tits-wise between these huge radioactive plates"
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Nov 28, 2016 19:22
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- Android Blues
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Wanted: Mammogram Model for Leaflet Photography (MUST have huge honkers - therefore to demonstrate the power of the mammogram, and cohere to the patient its true threat)
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Nov 28, 2016 19:23
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- Android Blues
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when i see a mammogram machine squashing those huge honkers its like the feeling a cave woman probably got when she watched a pterodactyl pick up a mammoth and carry it away into the sky. awe - dread - and like, the pterodactyl is eating the mammoth before its even dead
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Nov 28, 2016 19:25
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- Android Blues
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titty doctor: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.
me: I admire its purity. A titty squashing device … unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
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Nov 28, 2016 19:28
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- Android Blues
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Women's Health BYOB
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Nov 29, 2016 18:22
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- Android Blues
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patient: alright doc, go ahead. do it - crush my titty. [pounding fist on table] turn me into the human version of orange pulp you god drat animal
doctor: alright, first a few questions. where do you feel the lump?
patient: what lump?
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Nov 29, 2016 18:47
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- Android Blues
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new cave paintings appear to reveal primitive "stone age" mammogram
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Nov 29, 2016 19:33
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- Android Blues
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Behold! Using the power of glow rock, we have tamed the human breast!
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Nov 29, 2016 19:34
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- Android Blues
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In order to find out whether you have the bad kind of tit, the nurse and I will go to opposite sides of the room and fling radiation at your bazoombas with these jai alai cesta. Then we will take a picture of them with a nuclear camera.
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Nov 29, 2016 22:20
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- Android Blues
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Excuse me, doctor? Doctor, yes, please listen to me, because it's very important and I'm in quite a rush. I'm a reporter, you see, a junior reporter with the Sun, and all the boys in the newsroom, see, they don't take me seriously as a reporter, no sir, not serious at all, and that's why I need you to give me e x t r e m e l y f l a t t i t s, yes indeed, got to have them, because it's a man's world, you see, it's a man's world and I'm just a woman, just a woman in a man's world and that's why I need to have e x t r e m e l y f l a t t i t s.
In order to kill witches, the people of Salem, Massachusetts invented the world's first-ever mammography device.
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Nov 29, 2016 23:01
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- Android Blues
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every post on this page is so good
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Nov 30, 2016 09:21
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- Android Blues
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Fat Man, the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki, worked by using a conventional explosion to compress a small sphere of plutonium on all sides, which caused a chain reaction resulting in a massive nuclear detonation. The architect of the atomic bomb, John Robert Oppenheimer, inadvertently discovered it while using the same technique to put the whammy on a lady's rompers.
one weird trick doctors dont want you to know about is that you can put a newspaper clip of your favorite comic strip (Cathy?) between the boob and plates and it will transfer perfectly to your chest! ACK!
you think mamograms hurt? Have you ever seen the machine that checks for testicular cancer?! Talk about pain! Hahah, actually im just kidding we just feel for lumps or something idk but its pretty enjoyable lol.
one prank I like to play is coating my breasts in superfluid helium. the doctor's face when my lubricious goombas slip out of the machine like a bar of soap is priceless!
*pretty lady with big honkers walks by*
guy 1: wowie zowie!
guy 2: zonga zonga!
guy 3: mammo grammo!
*patient walks in on doc coming down off a mammo high after a great sesh*
doc: hey you got anything i can put in here
just a few of my favourites
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Nov 30, 2016 10:55
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Apr 29, 2024 08:45
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- Android Blues
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Nov 30, 2016 21:33
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Nov 28, 2016 19:20
