A BRUTALLY BLEAK vision of the future

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > A BRUTALLY BLEAK vision of the future

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

A deserted playground. Monkey bars bent, twisted and covered in grey ash. A lone rusty swing, empty, swaying slightly in the hot afternoon breeze. Nearby an abandoned ice cream truck is frozen in time, skeletons of the driver and three children picked clean, their bones white and still. Signs on the side of the truck once advertised a colorful array of frozen treats, now are worn away and sunbleached. A cockroach the size of a dog waits patiently in the shadows beneath the truck for night to come, that is when it searches the ruins for food.

Suddenly the wind kicks up. A gigantic sandstorm approaches. A rusted droid collapses in on itself, forming a sand-proof egg. BEEp ZOOP ZZZZZZZ. A wall of sand hits the tall downtown buildings of a once bustling metropolis. Many of the buildings are damaged badly, missing large five story sized holes in their sides, once important financial documents streamed down from them to the streets below but no longer.

The sandstorm is fierce and eats away at the city for nearly two hours before subsiding. Stunted beings emerge from sewer sanctums via manholes and tunnels. They are slim and scaled, a product of three thousand years of interbreeding between humans and alligators. They carry crude weapons and wear DIY armor made from pipes and bats and hubcaps. But the lizardmen are cautious. They stay close to their dwellings. a lizardman wielding a hockey stick wrapped in razor wire raises his head and shrieks. The cry is long and loud and is instantly repeated throughout the city by his fellow lizardmen. They beat a hasty retreat back into the sewers, there is a CroMage about.

Hockey Stick shudders in fear as he cowers in the rubble, hoping the CroMage does not sense him or indeed any of his fellow lizardfolk who may be hiding nearby. Peering through a slat of a broken window the lizardman watches the CroMage float leisurely down the empty street, levitating five feet off the ground and emitting an audible hum of powerful energy. Blessed with the power of telekinesis and mind control and almost infinite need to kill, CroMages had wiped out entire communities of survivors. They never spoke and hardly ever displayed any kind of emotion. They were also usually completely naked, the CroMage has no need of clothes because nothing can harm it and it can regulate its own temperature. Hockey Stick hears something. Something big is approaching from down the street!

Festerboars are huge, pissed off and inedible. Long ago the lizardmen had ancestors who hunted the Festerboar and died from the infected meat. In these times it is best to run from them, they are slightly bigger than a fullsize SUV and almost impossible to kill. They are not smart however and this one was no exception. It saw the CroMage and instantly charged. Surprised by the Festerboar's lightning fast attack, the CroMage had no time to go on offense and simply levitated out of range. Hockey Stick's eyes went wide as the boar skidded to a stop and turned to face the CroMage again. By this time the CroMage had recovered and it raised a hand, pointing it towards a broken off light pole. The pole rose up and slammed down into the Festerboar, piercing it's back and bursting from the gigantic animal's belly along with a torrent of blood. The Festerboar roared in pain and confusion as it tried to walk forward and stumbled. The wounded beast thrashed it's tusks about in the dust and ash of the roadway as it struggled to regain it's footing. Once again the CroMage struck, this time a jagged boulder of concrete with rebar sticking out of it smashed with a mighty thud into the top of the boar's head. CRUNCH! The skull must be shattered into pieces. The animal now lay twitching in the dust, clinging to life by a hanging thread.

The CroMage hovered over the Festerboar and watched impassionately as the great beast gasped and rattled it's last breaths. The CroMage then lowered himself to the ground, walked casually over to the Festerboar, ripped out a sizable chunk of boarflesh and began to eat. Hockey Stick couldn't believe what he was seeing. This was madness! Was this CroMage immune? Hockey Stick continued to watch as the CroMage chewed away at the raw, bloody meat. The CroMage suddenly took a seat cross-legged and stopped chewing. The pale naked figure then vomited explosively. It looked confused. It looked to the boar and then back at his vomit. The CroMage's eyes rolled back in its head and it keeled over onto its side, a trickle of blood ran out of its nose.

Hockey Stick then cautiously moves from his hiding place into the light of the street. He cautiously approaches the carcasses. Hockey Stick uses the bottom end of his stick to prod at the two, first the CroMage (definitely dead) and then the Festerboar (also very dead). He then raises his head to the sky and releases a different cry than before, the "all-clear" sign. It is temporarily safe for his people to venture forth again, but who knows what danger lurks around the next corner?

At the edge of the city a dust drift blows away revealing a bullet-riddled sign that reads:

YOUR TOWN, USA

# ? Nov 30, 2016 21:52

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:58

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

(its because of Trump)

# ? Nov 30, 2016 21:53

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

JiveHonky posted:

A deserted playground. Monkey bars bent, twisted and covered in grey ash. A lone rusty swing, empty, swaying slightly in the hot afternoon breeze. Nearby an abandoned ice cream truck is frozen in time, skeletons of the driver and three children picked clean, their bones white and still.

Yeah it's not much to look at, but the rent is so cheap.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 21:56

Gay Weed Dad: Jul 12, 2016; cool dude, flyin' high

Fallout was a cool game, please do one about Farming Simulator or The Sims: Livin' Large (Livin' Large only please!)

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:00

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Frankenstyle posted:

Yeah it's not much to look at, but the rent is so cheap.

did you get the twist at the end? YOUR TOWN, USA

did you get scared?

1 to 10 how scared were you

# ? Nov 30, 2016 21:59

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

But the bullet holes in the sign are there now. Is this really now?

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:02

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Hardawn posted:

But the bullet holes in the sign are there now. Is this really now?

i had some issues with tense. now is the future now not the today now

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:07

unpleasantly turgid: Jul 6, 2016; u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

>GO LEFT

edit: i made a lizardman druid last night in a game of pathfinder. is this real life

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:16

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

JiveHonky posted:

A deserted playground. Monkey bars bent, twisted and covered in grey ash. A lone rusty swing, empty, swaying slightly in the hot afternoon breeze. Nearby an abandoned ice cream truck is frozen in time, skeletons of the driver and three children picked clean, their bones white and still. Signs on the side of the truck once advertised a colorful array of frozen treats, now are worn away and sunbleached. A cockroach the size of a dog waits patiently in the shadows beneath the truck for night to come, that is when it searches the ruins for food.

Suddenly the wind kicks up. A gigantic sandstorm approaches. A rusted droid collapses in on itself, forming a sand-proof egg. BEEp ZOOP ZZZZZZZ. A wall of sand hits the tall downtown buildings of a once bustling metropolis. Many of the buildings are damaged badly, missing large five story sized holes in their sides, once important financial documents streamed down from them to the streets below but no longer.

The sandstorm is fierce and eats away at the city for nearly two hours before subsiding. Stunted beings emerge from sewer sanctums via manholes and tunnels. They are slim and scaled, a product of three thousand years of interbreeding between humans and alligators. They carry crude weapons and wear DIY armor made from pipes and bats and hubcaps. But the lizardmen are cautious. They stay close to their dwellings. a lizardman wielding a hockey stick wrapped in razor wire raises his head and shrieks. The cry is long and loud and is instantly repeated throughout the city by his fellow lizardmen. They beat a hasty retreat back into the sewers, there is a CroMage about.

Hockey Stick shudders in fear as he cowers in the rubble, hoping the CroMage does not sense him or indeed any of his fellow lizardfolk who may be hiding nearby. Peering through a slat of a broken window the lizardman watches the CroMage float leisurely down the empty street, levitating five feet off the ground and emitting an audible hum of powerful energy. Blessed with the power of telekinesis and mind control and almost infinite need to kill, CroMages had wiped out entire communities of survivors. They never spoke and hardly ever displayed any kind of emotion. They were also usually completely naked, the CroMage has no need of clothes because nothing can harm it and it can regulate its own temperature. Hockey Stick hears something. Something big is approaching from down the street!

Festerboars are huge, pissed off and inedible. Long ago the lizardmen had ancestors who hunted the Festerboar and died from the infected meat. In these times it is best to run from them, they are slightly bigger than a fullsize SUV and almost impossible to kill. They are not smart however and this one was no exception. It saw the CroMage and instantly charged. Surprised by the Festerboar's lightning fast attack, the CroMage had no time to go on offense and simply levitated out of range. Hockey Stick's eyes went wide as the boar skidded to a stop and turned to face the CroMage again. By this time the CroMage had recovered and it raised a hand, pointing it towards a broken off light pole. The pole rose up and slammed down into the Festerboar, piercing it's back and bursting from the gigantic animal's belly along with a torrent of blood. The Festerboar roared in pain and confusion as it tried to walk forward and stumbled. The wounded beast thrashed it's tusks about in the dust and ash of the roadway as it struggled to regain it's footing. Once again the CroMage struck, this time a jagged boulder of concrete with rebar sticking out of it smashed with a mighty thud into the top of the boar's head. CRUNCH! The skull must be shattered into pieces. The animal now lay twitching in the dust, clinging to life by a hanging thread.

The CroMage hovered over the Festerboar and watched impassionately as the great beast gasped and rattled it's last breaths. The CroMage then lowered himself to the ground, walked casually over to the Festerboar, ripped out a sizable chunk of boarflesh and began to eat. Hockey Stick couldn't believe what he was seeing. This was madness! Was this CroMage immune? Hockey Stick continued to watch as the CroMage chewed away at the raw, bloody meat. The CroMage suddenly took a seat cross-legged and stopped chewing. The pale naked figure then vomited explosively. It looked confused. It looked to the boar and then back at his vomit. The CroMage's eyes rolled back in its head and it keeled over onto its side, a trickle of blood ran out of its nose.

Hockey Stick then cautiously moves from his hiding place into the light of the street. He cautiously approaches the carcasses. Hockey Stick uses the bottom end of his stick to prod at the two, first the CroMage (definitely dead) and then the Festerboar (also very dead). He then raises his head to the sky and releases a different cry than before, the "all-clear" sign. It is temporarily safe for his people to venture forth again, but who knows what danger lurks around the next corner?

At the edge of the city a dust drift blows away revealing a bullet-riddled sign that reads:

YOUR TOWN, USA

Spooky... Too spooky for me actually Jive

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:17

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

unpleasantly turgid posted:

>GO LEFT

>u encounter a robed lizardman, he tells you he has the finest Skooma in the city and beckons for you to follow him deeper into the alley

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:18

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Captain Yossarian posted:

Spooky... Too spooky for me actually Jive

sowee charlie! get better soon

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:19

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

GOD I hate the future!

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:19

unpleasantly turgid: Jul 6, 2016; u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

JiveHonky posted:

>u encounter a robed lizardman, he tells you he has the finest Skooma in the city and beckons for you to follow him deeper into the alley

I don't trust

>GO RIGHT

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:21

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

JiveHonky posted:

(its because of Trump)

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:23

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

unpleasantly turgid posted:

I don't trust

>GO RIGHT

>RIGHT INTO THIS DICK

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:24

Radical and BADical!: Jun 27, 2010; by Lowtax; Fun Shoe

JiveHonky posted:

did you get the twist at the end? YOUR TOWN, USA

did you get scared?

1 to 10 how scared were you

how big was the CroMage's penis? if over 3" then I was definitely terrified beyond reaosn

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:24

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

JiveHonky posted:

YOUR TOWN, USA

HOLY poo poo

Go left.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:28

MiracleWhale: Jun 30, 2015

Jive, I love you man but for me to read and comprehend something like this you're going to have to express it as a Fallout 4 mod or at least weave in 21 hot tricks I can use to spice up my love life.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:47

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

The title said vision didn't know I'd have to read poo poo I'm out.

# ? Nov 30, 2016 22:53

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

Grem posted:

The title said vision didn't know I'd have to read poo poo I'm out.

That's because you don't have any eyes fam

# ? Nov 30, 2016 23:03

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

TRUMP!TRUMP!TRUMP!TRUMP!TRUMP!TRUMP!
:regd08:

# ? Nov 30, 2016 23:04

Icept: Jul 11, 2001

Post-apocalookin rear end

# ? Nov 30, 2016 23:07

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

unpleasantly turgid posted:

I don't trust

>GO RIGHT

>you trust your insticts about the dubious Skooma merchant and GO RIGHT

>you see a hastily written sign that says GO NORTH

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:13

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

You lost me at lizard people. Triggered. :tinfoil:

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:15

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Grem posted:

The title said vision didn't know I'd have to read poo poo I'm out.

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:17

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

You lost me at lizard people. Triggered.

they control the media and demanded to be included in the vision of a brutally bleak future

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:18

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

Specifically which of Trump's policies will start the alligator loving craze?

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:19

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

bag em and tag em posted:

Specifically which of Trump's policies will start the alligator loving craze?

i hapens after he dismantles NAFTA

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:20

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

JiveHonky posted:

(its because of Trump)

well yeah duh that was implied

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:44

ditty bout my clitty: May 28, 2011; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

First post too long

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:46

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

JiveHonky posted:

YOUR TOWN, USA

Whew, glad I moved out of Your Town, USA, a few years back. I'm liking it much better in My Town, USA.

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:50

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

luv 2 date boys posted:

Whew, glad I moved out of Your Town, USA, a few years back. I'm liking it much better in My Town, USA.

is that NORTH of YOUR TOWN?

# ? Dec 1, 2016 00:59

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

JiveHonky posted:

they control the media and demanded to be included in the vision of a brutally bleak future

I mean it's only natural though, those fuckers write the best shows and everyone knows it. :tinfoil:

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:02

SHISHKABOB: Nov 30, 2012; Fun Shoe

JiveHonky posted:

did you get the twist at the end? YOUR TOWN, USA

did you get scared?

1 to 10 how scared were you

Oh I thought it said "YOUR TOWN, LISA" and I didn't know who Lisa was.

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:02

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

can u do one but where being cis is illegal and u get ur junk loped off?

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:10

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

It is night time, in an unknown suburban neighborhood. The houses are in rough shape; battered by the decade old oak trees that have collapsed and caved many of the roofs in, exposing the raw fiberglass insulation, a pink foam that spills from the tops of the houses, matted wet from the passing super-hurricane. Here and there are wet, slapping and still alive creatures, gurgling out their last pathetic breaths in an environment they cannot survive.
The brightly robed and white faced figure rides on cartoonish shoes with wheels attached to the bottom; a large spike protruding from the toe. He also carries a bright pink parasol; and it too, has a spike coming from the top; slick with blood.

-HONKHONK- goes the figure, as he circles one of the suffocating creatures the passing super-storm saw fit to deposit. The creature is larger than the few others present; strangely bloated. The clown looks down, and a frown becomes a grin as it reaches into the gill of the suffocating sea creature. He gropes around, shoulder deep now, and finds what he is looking for, and then proceeds to tear, rip, and laugh.

-HONKHONK- His arm is free, and he holds a pulsing, oozing brown sack of material; the sea creature's womb, the children still alive encased in the embryonic fluid of their parent.
The clown's face becomes joyful as he gingerly places the fleshy bag on a patch of long dead grass; he leaves the spot for a few moments, and returns with two objects; one a slim post with piece of cardboard, the other a fallen tree branch. It shoves the former into the ground just behind the weakly undulating sack; anD WINDS UP FOR THE SWING -HONK- SMUSH- SQULGH- HONKHONKHONK-SMUASH-

The sign says

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:25

CJacobs: Apr 17, 2011; Reach for the moon!

Go YOUR TOWN SPORTS TEAM! Beat THE OTHER TEAM this year in SPORT CHAMPIONSHIP!

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:28

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Tl;dr can I get a summary?

# ? Dec 1, 2016 01:30

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

Wait, so the humans and alligators have been interbreeding for thousands of years but the ice cream truck still
has bones in it?

Nice plot hole Mr. King.

# ? Dec 1, 2016 03:29

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:58

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

JiveHonky posted:

is that NORTH of YOUR TOWN?

yeah it's not too far, I'd describe it as more NORTH-NORTHEAST. better job market here plus they got a Costco and an aldi.

# ? Dec 1, 2016 03:32

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