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It's a well-known fact that it's easy to find a good setup for a scary movie but much harder to give it a good ending. I was watching a lot of horror movies in October while I was on the treadmill in the morning and it was interesting because most of my runs were about an hour, meaning I would have to stop the movie and shower for work just as they hit their last act. A lot of them I never bothered to finish and would predict an ending and checkup on Wikipedia to see if I was right. These are the meaningless thoughts and actions of a broken man. Also I'm warning you once that this is filthy with spoilers [EDIT - now spoiler safe!] The Canal - The sidekick from the first Hellboy is insecure about his wife being too good for him and, after watching creepy old film footage, catches his hot wife loving a hot guy and realizes their sex scene was much hotter than his and leaves in shame and pukes. Then he hears voices and sees things near the canal and suddenly his wife is found dead in the canal. I would have given up on this movie right here because of its trajectory but it managed to fool me for a bit by having the coroner find no signs of foul play and it almost seemed like it was going to be about a murder mystery where a ghost is the murderer (or maybe a character realizing he's in a ghost story and trying to escape the inevitable murder/suicide ending). Instead it turned out to be a dumb movie that the audience wants desperately to avoid the stupid ending where the main character turns out to be insane but they ultimately lose 90 minutes of their life.  Got to the point where he started getting violently crazy and read the rest later, which is more along "ghosts made me kill my wife" instead, which was already done in a better movie. You know the one.Honeymoon - That skinny redhead wildling from Game of Thrones and her husband are all kissy-kissy on their honeymoon at a lake cabin when a strange alien light starts scanning them at night and the wife starts acting strangely after being found standing in the middle of the woods at night. She starts having memory loss, has strange marks on her inner thighs, and is uncomfortable getting intimate with her husband. The husband finds that other people are acting strange around the lake and his wife has a centipede in her vagina and she murders her husband. Again, stopped at the hour mark and read up on the ending later, but in this case I don't think it's not a bad ending as much as too weak to require that I actually watch the last 30 minutes. The Sacrament - Found footage Jonestown. Had a sort of inner debate on whether it was exploitative, because people died this way, or legitimate, because people died this way. The world may never know. And actually this was pretty tense through the turn but I stopped somewhere after the kool-aid scene and didn't bother finishing it. Was genuinely surprised to find that two of the filmmakers survive in the end, since most found footage movies don't have that kind of internal consistency. Honorable mention to movies that did not fail the last half hour and I finished watching later: Late Phases, about a blind man in a retirement community gunning down werewolves. We Are What We Are, a drama about a family whose mother dies during a religious fast. Starry Eyes is pretty predictable in its story about a wannabe star willing to do anything to reach her dreams, but made it worthwhile just on body horror and sexualized agony. And Here Comes the Devil, which was a grungy blend of Picnic at Hanging Rock and AntiChrist where missing kids return possessed by demons and their mother discovers an even worse secret: they were loving each other (and still are!). What other scary movies are good for the first hour then limp to the 84 minute mark? Knight fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 1, 2016 22:43
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 02:21 |
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titanic
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Dec 1, 2016 23:21
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