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colonelwest
Jun 30, 2018

Sarsapariller posted:

It's time for another summary of INSIDE STAR CITIZEN: the show about nothing!

In today's episode:
* We're talking about "Personal Commodity Inventory" which is a new bullshit term that CIG has made up and what it actually means is "An inventory like every other MMO for the last 30 years, but worse."
* It will be tier zero of course
* You can pick things up- but not, uh, not items like guns or magazines? This is a specialized inventory that "Only stores commodities" like uh, mining stuff.
* Why doesn't it store everything? (Hint: it is because CIG is completely incompetent and they are now fragmenting their inventory system into bespoke random layers, like the "Physical Inventory" for your guns and the "Commodity Inventory" for your rocks. This is extremely stupid.)
* I mean you're literally watching a company fail to make a simple inventory system in real time, while patting themselves on the back about it.
* They are doing this new inventory with a radial menu. You can put the things from the menu on the floor, or in a box. You can use boxed items on your ship to buy/sell them, I guess? This actually sounds like it'd be fine if it were the one and only inventory system.




WAIT ONE loving MINUTE!

You're telling me that every single item in my spaceman's inventory will not be physicalized and rendered in game at all times?! And I can't get dozens of hours of enjoyment from rummaging through my spaceman's backpack and looking at all if the fidelitous objects that it contains!?

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Rap Three Times
Aug 2, 2013

Thrice, not twice, nay not four times either.
Grimey Drawer
I haven't posted in a star citizen thread since cowcaster was mod and clam down was the big cheese. I think it was that early thread that got me to drop the :10bux: way back in 2013. People were still positive about the game actually being notascam. Can't believe I've been lurking this series for 6 years.

Thanks for all the laughs folks, looking forward to seeing what the greater forum makes of this when the thread becomes mainstream :chaostrump:

Sassy Sasquatch
Feb 28, 2013

Sample_text posted:

I actually like the video, because IMHO it actually does show quite a bit of self awareness.
They guy's operating on the "content creator bible" . Find some "defining" thing about you (an architect reviews.... ) and put your spin on the thing.
He doesn't need any of those "gameplay loops" or "fun" to make videos like that, and I'm pretty sure I heard of the guy actually promoting and hyping up the yacht video in streamer's channels before it was even released., so he has that whole "self promotion thing" down.
See, guys like him see this for what it is and exploit it , while people like twerk are having meltdowns on stream about the content drought while their viewership plummets.
I mean, this guy will go on to make "An architect reviews.....your starting apartment in Cyberpunk 2077" and drop Star Citizen once it stops providing 100 k views.

TL;DR : I'm willing to bet the guy doesn't care about Star Citizen, but about "muh kahntent" "muh engagemunt" "muh brand".

Fair enough, it just popped in my suggestions and I sure didn’t do any due diligence on the guy so it’s possible it’s just an opportunistic stab at the Star Citizen fanbase. His talk of the Origin brand etc lead me to believe he has skin in the game though. My favorite part was when he started talking of firing crew members for misplacing a spoon or a napkin. :jerkbag:

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen

colonelwest posted:

WAIT ONE loving MINUTE!

You're telling me that every single item in my spaceman's inventory will not be physicalized and rendered in game at all times?! And I can't get dozens of hours of enjoyment from rummaging through my spaceman's backpack and looking at all if the fidelitous objects that it contains!?

I know, I'm also outraged. It's almost like they made a bespoke inventory system that is totally broken in order to satisfy a single requirement for guns that go jingle-jangle-jingle from their handwaving chairman, and now they're going to have to make a second bespoke inventory system that is completely separate from the first one in order to satisfy other requirements like just carrying large amounts of poo poo, because there was never an architect on this project and they just wing it at all times. What will happen on the margins between these two systems? What if I want to turn ore into guns, or take a gun from my shipment of guns and use it to shoot people? :iiam:

holtemon
May 2, 2019

Dancing is forbidden

deej posted:

Never posted in here but chiming in to give thanks to those who have kept these threads going the last how many years - I check this dumb thing every day and it never fails to make me laugh.

Biggest highlight had to be the ramp incident when the wheels literally came off the presentation, with the distressed demoer’s “noooooooo~~

Same here. This thread is top lulz.

My favorites are Sarsa's quest narratives, that one commando's space videos (Peter Gabrielz I think?) and the commandos that screenshot all the good reddit poo poo so I don't have to sort through that mess.

o7 goons

Dogeh
Aug 30, 2017

ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%
They can't shut down this thread until we get to page 6665.

Dogeh
Aug 30, 2017

ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%
Or can they?

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Dogeh posted:

Or can they?

No they can't.

Dogeh
Aug 30, 2017

ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%
When will the second coming of Derek happen?

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Dogeh posted:

When will the second coming of Derek happen?

When the rivers flow with blood and locusts swarm the CIG LA offices.

Dogeh
Aug 30, 2017

ShitMeter: -------------|- 99%
So 90 days tops?

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Dogeh posted:

So 90 days tops?

No two weeks.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard


Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Dogeh posted:

They can't shut down this thread until we get to page 6665.

Well it's a big order, but if everyone is willing to work double shifts in the posting mines we might just pull it off.

Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo

Sarsapariller posted:

It's time for another summary of INSIDE STAR CITIZEN: the show about nothing!

* Don't worry, the Vanguard Sentinel still gets to keep its bed and galley! I know you were concerned about that.

But does it still have the toilet??

DOES IT STILL HAVE THE TOILET?!?

Squiddite
Apr 15, 2001
Loligo vos omnes odet.

Sarsapariller posted:

* Oh good another stupidly named thing, "Within Proximity Assist," which is a bullshit term that CIG has made up as well. What it actually means is: "Holy poo poo the hover mode we introduced last patch is awful and everyone hates it."
* The "Helicopter aspect" of hover mode has been removed! It wasn't intuitive and wasn't achieving what they wanted! Why did they loving introduce it then! It's like they don't test anything!
* "Softer, more believable, more realistic flying" is the new promise. It was also the old promise. I'm sure they aren't going to gently caress this one up.
* The goal is to decrease the ship's ability to thrust and accelerate when it's... close to the ground? Huh, okay. They are literally going to force you to fly the way they think you should. I wonder if they've actually tested this reduction in agility against all those ground attack missions where you have to shoot like 6 turrets. Two bucks says they forgot those missions existed.
* "This fits better with the lore of the game." It's funny because it kind of sounds like you'd say that about loving anything. It sounds a LOT more like "It fits better with marketing's vision of not upsetting literally every remaining whale by adding flight-sim mechanics to their flight-sim game."
Here's a simple question that any new player trying out this game would ask within five minutes, and thus surely must've been asked and answered a thousand times by the 500+ people developing these flight systems and the systems experts making these videos:

Why is it that the artificial gravity inside the ships' floors is good enough that a commando can walk around (and even jump!) perfectly normally in a ship that's parked on its roof upside-down relative to a planet, but a ship that's right-side-up can't just spray the gravity goo downwards to hover wherever and whenever it wants?

I'm sure this has a crystal-clear and perfectly sensible answer from their crack team of space physicists and I've just missed it.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo

Squiddite posted:

Here's a simple question that any new player trying out this game would ask within five minutes, and thus surely must've been asked and answered a thousand times by the 500+ people developing these flight systems and the systems experts making these videos:

Why is it that the artificial gravity inside the ships' floors is good enough that a commando can walk around (and even jump!) perfectly normally in a ship that's parked on its roof upside-down relative to a planet, but a ship that's right-side-up can't just spray the gravity goo downwards to hover wherever and whenever it wants?

I'm sure this has a crystal-clear and perfectly sensible answer from their crack team of space physicists and I've just missed it.

Why does the pilot black out when turning too fast?

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
When is this thread ending? We've been hearing for days now that The End 3.7 was just around the corner and yet according to Beet Wagons latest roadmap Thread Closing tier 0 went down from %69 to %12.

Experimental Skin
Apr 16, 2016

Zazz Razzamatazz posted:

Why does the pilot black out when turning too fast?

This is simply the fidelity system they implemented to simulate the pre-diabetic system which backers requested for that extra level of immersion.

DigitalPenny
Sep 3, 2018

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Buy me a ship and I will play with you.

If gave out a mustang for every time I heard that line the project would be finished by now !

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!
Is the thread closed yet?

Drunk Theory
Aug 20, 2016


Oven Wrangler

colonelwest posted:

WAIT ONE loving MINUTE!

You're telling me that every single item in my spaceman's inventory will not be physicalized and rendered in game at all times?! And I can't get dozens of hours of enjoyment from rummaging through my spaceman's backpack and looking at all if the fidelitous objects that it contains!?

No no commando. This is tier 0 implementation of the inventory system. When they fully release you will get to experience *insert your dream here*.

Until then, this is a good initial step. Pledge more.

skeletors_condom
Jul 21, 2017

Paladinus posted:

Is the thread closed yet?

Beet is still working on Tier 0 implementation of thread closing.

Axegrinder
Jul 26, 2004
Sometimes sarcasm can help us think more clearly.
Just posting here at the end to say I love you all, and this thread has been the most entertaining and educational spot on the forums for many years!

All the same, I crave.. closure...

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





skeletors_condom posted:

Beet is still working on Tier 0 implementation of thread closing.

Awesome Fidelity posted:

It is the best AAAA+ thread i have ever posted in. I've got my :10bux: worth just reading the first page. Now it is getting better daily. Recently with the introduction of bear pics we get procedurally generated crobear pics almost every day. I could watch at bear pics for hours and i would never be bored. I don't mind that we didn't have a kayak report in the last few months. I am sure there are awesome photos of kayak being finished every week. We just have to be patient. Beet Wagon said the switch to the games subforum takes only two mods and a few hours. They just have to run a text search-and-replace from scam to game. Posting only really started after Derek was banned from the thread. Hairyballs was just a gimmick mode. We have already won.


Popete posted:

When is this thread ending? We've been hearing for days now that The End 3.7 was just around the corner and yet according to Beet Wagons latest roadmap Thread Closing tier 0 went down from %69 to %12.

gently caress,

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
I'm a Concierge level backer for Lowtax spine and I'm fully confident that Beet will close this thread. We just need to be patient, they're just getting the pipelines started and soon Dynamic Thread Closing will be in. You won't be able to distinguish a thread closed by a mod and one closed by the Dynamic Thread Closing system.

They've only been at it for a week now, it's taken other threads years to close. I'm pretty sure YOSPOS is still open to this day.

Admiral Snackbar
Mar 13, 2006

OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE
After the thread perhaps I'll shitpost again
Out on the forum where I shat with you,
And see the changeless patch to the PTU
And live an afternoon of doxxing through.

I shall remember then, and sad at heart
For the lost day of mockery we knew,
Wish only that some other thread were you
And broke the game as once you used to do.

biglads
Feb 21, 2007

I could've gone to Blatherwycke



Still no drat Santaball. Not even Tier 0

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Why Are We Still Here? Just To Suffer?

ZekeNY
Jun 13, 2013

Probably AFK
Anyone who understands thread development knows that the first 6500 pages don’t count

Danknificent
Nov 20, 2015

Jinkies! Looks like we've got a mystery on our hands.
Isn't this like the fourth or fifth thread?

Does the gray market still exist?

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
I sold my thread closing probation in the first wave, made a killing off of Thread Closing speculators

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Danknificent posted:

Isn't this like the fourth or fifth thread?

Does the gray market still exist?

Yes to both.

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
I love eternators!

SPERMCUBE.ORG
Nov 3, 2011

Space commies are th' biggest threat t' red-blooded American Freedom we got in th' future. So me and my boys got to talking over a few hot dogs the other day and this is what we came up with...

Taintrunner posted:

Why Are We Still Here? Just To Suffer?

This thread has unfinished business.

Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo
In the last 500 pages, the Fourth SC Thread has dominated the forums, which it has united into one starzone, SCAM. The Fourth SC thread has origins from the Ten Goon War in which 10 of the United Mods revolted against each rules.

Grubby Hobo
Feb 13, 2018

There's something else about bears not many people know. If a bear gets hooked on the taste of crowdfunding, it becomes a man-killer. He'll go on a rampage and has to be destroyed. And that's why you should never hug a bear.

I have been waiting my whole life to party in some space whale's luxury yacht. Count me in!

Agony Aunt
Apr 17, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Zazz Razzamatazz posted:

In the last 500 pages, the Fourth SC Thread has dominated the forums, which it has united into one starzone, SCAM. The Fourth SC thread has origins from the Ten Goon War in which 10 of the United Mods revolted against each rules.

:five:

I'm beginning to think this thread will never be closed. It was probably all a scam to get more people posting. I guess beet gets paid by the number of posts.

Where is the funding tracker eh?

We demand open thread development!

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Zazz Razzamatazz
Apr 19, 2016

by sebmojo

Agony Aunt posted:

:five:

I'm beginning to think this thread will never be closed. It was probably all a scam to get more people posting. I guess beet gets paid by the number of posts.

Where is the funding tracker eh?

We demand open thread development!

You just gotta try to be more positive. :shrug:

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