Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

I love that Tommy Wiseau managed to release a completed product and that he got to pretend to be a Hollywood director without resorting to a crowdfunding scam. Lol at Chris Roberts - Star Citizen is more incompetently made than The Room.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2017 14:35

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 19:02

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Loxbourne posted:

Sadly whorepresents.com requires a paid-for account

whore presents dot com

# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 02:53

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Everyone here is a Derek Smart alt, and Derek Smart was right. Therefore, by the transitive property, you are all Alt Right.

# ¿ May 4, 2017 17:55

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a jpeg ship
Upon a no-clip ocean.

Progress, progress everywhere
The patch just weeks away;
Progress, progress everywhere,
Nor any game to play.

# ¿ May 31, 2017 00:55

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

A Citizen's inner voice singing to Donglick Schmarm

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 19:01

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Posting from 3088, so I don't know if this has been done yet...

https://brorlandi.github.io/StarWarsIntroCreator/#!/AL0XfDpFFro2vSDnTONB

# ¿ Dec 17, 2017 05:15

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Dusty Lens posted:

Skadden aside it helps that the players involved are all clowns.

Assuming Skadden wins, will they even refer to this case in their list of victories in the future? I mean it's kind of like coming in first at the Special Olympics...

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 18:35

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Bind Culling is the sauce.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2018 19:17

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

NoNotTheMindProbe posted:

you should see the cutaway diagram

I like the drive sprockets in the back that have no chance of being attached to an actual drive axle.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2018 20:22

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

I think Request for Production No. 30 might include the AMD letter.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2018 22:45

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Ayn Marx posted:

I'm

Glad

Ur

Family

Is

Ded

Nice Piltdown

# ¿ Mar 10, 2018 23:35

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Wait just a goddamn minute.

Derek is black?!

# ¿ Mar 15, 2018 23:41

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Uchrisses (A Poem)

It little profits that an idle king
Of MS-DOS, among these CD-ROMs,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Fidelity unto a savage race,
That pledge, and tweet, and dream, and know not me.
I cannot rest from traveling First Class: I will drink
Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, hand waved greatly, both with those
That doxxed me, and alone, with Ben, and when
Thro' lengthy blogs the FUDdy Derek
Vext the Brown Sea: I am become a game;
For always scamming with a hungry heart
Much have I raised and blown; CitizenCons
And mocap, celebrities, cutscenes, game modes,
Myself not least, but honour'd of them all;
And drunk delight of vacations with my peers,
Far on the luxury yachts of Monaco.
I am a Paarp of all that I have met;
Yet all development is an arch wherethro'
Janks that unoptimized 'verse whose geometry jiggles
For ever and forever when I move.
How dull it is to play, to make an effort,
To stream unironically, not to acknowledge the truth!
As tho' to theory craft were life! Code piled on code
Were all too little, and of game design to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal scope creep, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three-point-whatever patches to store and hoard myself,
and this gray toupee yearning in desire
To follow the money like a never-was movie star,
Beyond the utmost bound of Federal jurisdiction.

This is my brother, mine own Erin,
To whom I leave the Space Door and the espresso machine,--
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfil
This labour, by slow prudence to make work
A frankenengine, and thro' soft degrees
Finally add Network Bind Culling.
Almost blameless is he, centered in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In games about Legos, and pay
Fines and fees to Coutts and Crytek,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.

There lies the parking lot; the Porsche puffs her exhaust:
There gloom Ortwin and Sandi. My accomplices,
Souls that have lied, and cheated, and fleeced with me --
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The money and the gifts, and opposed
Refunds, free thought -- you and I are subpoena'd;
Skadden hath yet their discovery and their voir dire;
Conviction closes all: but something ere the end,
Some work of profitable note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Publishers.
The lights begin to twinkle from the pursuit vehicles:
The long highway wanes: the border crossing nears: the deep
Moans round with many sirens. Come, my friends,
'T is not too late to seek asylum.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The chainlink fence; for my purpose holds
To drive beyond Mexico, and the lands
Of all extradition countries, until I die.
It may be that the Gulf will wash us down:
It may be that we shall touch Belize
And see the great McAfee, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now the strength which in old days
Made Wing Commander, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of shameless self-promotion,
Made weak by time and repeated failure, but strong in will
To promise, to kickstart, to fund, and not to release.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2018 14:42

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Pope's been done, but I hope you'll accept this humble submission:

In Lumberyard the packets flow
Between the servers, row on row,
That mesh our shards; and in the 'verse
The shills, still bravely streaming, curse
Scarce heard amid the goons below.

We are the Pledged. Short days ago
We paid, felt smug, saw Roberts glow,
Played and were played, and now we fly
In Lumberyard.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
If Derek posts, don't let it go--
The dreams be yours so hold them high.
If ye refund from those who lie
We shall not sleep, though nothing grows
In Lumberyard.

Admiral Snackbar fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Mar 24, 2018

# ¿ Mar 24, 2018 21:13

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Here's some Kipling, slightly abridged:

A Citizen's Song

To the Heavens above us
O look and behold
The Roberts that love us
All harnessed in gold!
What chariots, what jpegs
For us shall abide
While the Stars in their courses
Get calculated client-side!

Sandi quakes in her throes
And we wonder why!
But the wooden actress knows
When the editor is nigh;
And, attuned since Creation
To marketing flair
She thrills in her station
(That's him in the wheelchair).

The goons have arisen,
And Skadden's unbound -
Chris is headed to prison,
Hands wavin' around.
No TOS withstands 'em,
Their fury will last,
Till the Smart that commands 'em
Stops blogging at last.

Through mini-games unproven
And bugs beyond thought,
Our delusion is woven,
Our jpegs are bought.
Yet they that prepare it,
Whose Nature we share,
Get doxxed without mercy and
Photoshopped to a bear.

Though griefers o'ertake us
We'll be not afraid.
The slider can't make us
'Cause it hasn't been made.
Nor yet beyond dogfights
Or dreams shall we fall -
You know nothing of space flight,
No, nothing at all!

Then, doubt not, ye faithful -
Chris Roberts is King -
Up, heart, and be cheerful,
And lustily sing: -
What chariots, what jpegs
For us shall abide
While the Stars in their courses
Get calculated client-side!

# ¿ Mar 25, 2018 04:06

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Has Crusty Rubbers, tech maven, ever actually worked with a licensed engine before? Is all the garbage surrounding the use of Cryengine, both technical and legal, the result of a total and complete lack of knowledge or understanding of how using someone else's stuff actually works?

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 13:04

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

#IStandWithDerek

#ImStillHereElGuapo

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 17:45

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

D_Smart posted:

I know that English, even to those fluid in it, tends to be foreign to some people.

Says the native speaker who meant "fluent".

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 17:52

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Which is to say, you're a perfect illustration of your own point.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 17:54

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Which is to say I truly admire your dedication to the cause of salient, meaningful conversation.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 17:56

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Variable 5 posted:

CR sounds like a broken French horn when he talks

I just blew coffee out my nose. It burns a bit.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 18:16

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

D_Smart posted:

ps: No sir, you're not the "one". And definitely not today. Or ever.

Ewer right again, of course.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 19:22

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

D_Smart posted:

I wrote Twitter thread*

Says the native speaker who meant "I wrote a Twitter thread."

Fewer articles = more fluencidity.

Admiral Snackbar fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Mar 26, 2018

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 20:16

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

D_Smart posted:

You're still butthurt, huh?

Here's the thing (for the second time). I had originally had only one thread in mind.

That original text read "I wrote a Twitter thread*"

Then I discovered that I had covered it in 2 threads.

So I added both threads, then I edited the line to read "I wrote Twitter thread*" while removing the 'a' and forgetting to add the 's'.

Nice try. Do better next time.

Yes, you called it - my butt hurts very much (though not as much as it has in the past), thank you for asking.

Also, thank you for acknowledging the effort I put into helping you become a better writer. It's nice to know that my work is appreciated. I will take your advice and keep trying, hoping for "better luck next time," as you so sagely recommend.

Also, I have found that this book contains great wisdom in the ways of communicating a cogent thought. I hope you find it to be as useful as I have as you continue your long, arduous journey toward finally becoming an effective communicator.

Also, considering the liberal use you make of commas in your writing, I am surprised that you are not better acquainted with their wonderfully varied uses in the potpourri of cultures which make up our global community.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2018 21:37

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Mr.Tophat posted:

Edit: how the hell do you not have an avatar snackbar

I spend my money on buying avs for other more deserving folks, like Derek. And if you liked the baboon, you'll love what comes next - there's more, and it's worse.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2018 17:41

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

D_Smart posted:

I am completely at a loss for words.

You're never at a loss for words. It's original ideas that you strugle with.

Also grammar and syntax.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2018 17:31

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

trucutru posted:

If good then similar to Chris.

If bad then Derek.

Chris and Derek are like Indy and Belloq, except they're both Belloq.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2018 12:20

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

If Toast could be literal toast, what kind of toast would he be?

Burnt

# ¿ Apr 2, 2018 22:50

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Variable 5 posted:

This is like saying the Flash is faster than Superman. Nobody gives a poo poo.

More like saying Corky from Life Goes On is more retarded than Arnie from What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2018 04:25

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Jason Sextro posted:

Right. Chris is not an artist, and I'm sure he sees himself as no mere artist. He's a black turtleneck-wearing auteur.

According to Da Vinci, "Art is never finished, only abandoned." It is clear from this perspective that portions of Star Citizen are already unequivocal examples of art, and, as a whole, the project is well on its way to becoming a work of art of unprecedented scale and caliber. Therefore, Christopher Roberts is undoubtedly an artist of undeniable consequence.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2018 18:07

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

An Epitaph-

Go tell the Smarties, backer passing by,
That here, obedient to their laws, I lie.

Thanks for my first ever av, by the way!

Admiral Snackbar fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Apr 10, 2018

# ¿ Apr 10, 2018 23:37

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Tippis posted:

Dammit brain, stop doing this to me!

What was that movie? I remember a scene with kids playing around durin the blitz, where they fastened a cartridge in a vise and threatened another kid by putting him in front of the contraption by doing just that (well� with a regular hammer, but still).

Hope and Glory

fb - dammit Scruffpuff

Admiral Snackbar fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Apr 12, 2018

# ¿ Apr 12, 2018 00:53

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Thoatse posted:

doingitwrong posted:

These could both have the same caption:

"Let That Be Your Last Cattlefield"

# ¿ Apr 12, 2018 12:14

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Hav posted:

My point is that there's always going to be the person that believes in their ability to control and motivate other people, and it's a lot rarer to find someone that can do it for the benefit of all involved.

To wit, I refer you to The Third Basic Law of Human Stupidity

Whole thing's a good read for understanding Schnitzelzens.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2018 23:51

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Nyast posted:

I dunno if there's a psychological term for that, but I think that's pretty much the state whales are in right now.

In this case, I think the term is "In for a penny, in for a pounding."

# ¿ Apr 13, 2018 12:46

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Hav posted:

List of Outrageous and Unprecedented Expectations

I'm calling that #30 includes the AMD letter.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 01:30

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

Mr.Tophat posted:

Anyone got any sci-fi films/shows aside from Bebop which focuses on scavanging/fighting for food? I watched Children of Men recently and it helped motivate my cargo runs of beans.

Threads

# ¿ Mar 13, 2019 11:24

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 19:02

Admiral Snackbar: Mar 13, 2006; OUR SNEEZE SHIELDS CANNOT REPEL A HUNGER OF THAT MAGNITUDE

After the thread perhaps I'll shitpost again
Out on the forum where I shat with you,
And see the changeless patch to the PTU
And live an afternoon of doxxing through.

I shall remember then, and sad at heart
For the lost day of mockery we knew,
Wish only that some other thread were you
And broke the game as once you used to do.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2019 02:42

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?