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The remaining 90% of my brain has been unlocked, and my muscles ripple with an unbridled energy. Once impenetrable roadblocks in my life part like gossamer. I finally "get" anime |
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Dec 2, 2016 15:37
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 02:49 |
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the condition of my prostate is immaculate. my first exam will look like the Sistine Chapel, but instead of Adam it's my proctologist, and instead of God it's a big blown-up .jpeg of my prostate
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Dec 2, 2016 15:38
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I downed a whole bottle of fish oil and now everything in the ocean wants to gently caress me, which I'm okay with because human women aren't really into a guy whose breath smells like fish oil
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Dec 2, 2016 15:50
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I can't get the same high off of gummy Flintstones anymore. I've had to step it up to eating real live Flintstones
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Dec 2, 2016 16:02
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with my body supersaturated with copper, zinc and chromium, i have finally become more machine than man. mom, dad, that's why I've decided to marry my Autoblow 2
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Dec 2, 2016 16:19
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This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the Claritin-D, your nasal congestion ends. You wake up in your bed and breathe however you want to breathe. You take this handful of Sudafed, you stay in Walgreens and I show you how deep your sinuses go
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Dec 2, 2016 16:33
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Dec 2, 2016 20:40
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supervillian: you'll never escape from my prison, FutonForensic! The gaps of these bars are much too thin to let someone as solid and dry like you escape! *I take a stash of travel-sized lotion bottles out of my butthole and start applying them until my body is nothing but moisture* supervillian: what are you doing--no!! *My skin is like water. I effortlessly glide between the bars and out under the door*
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Dec 3, 2016 16:56
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lol at all dis
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Dec 4, 2016 17:52
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"sir, where would you like your flu sh--" she is interrupted as I completely disrobe and point to all over my body
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Dec 5, 2016 17:57
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| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 02:49 |
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social vegan posted:three blind monks take turns feeling my body, they all agree, there are two men there
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Dec 8, 2016 05:53
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